How To Pick Up An Ethiopian Girl

I think Ethiopian girls are disproportionately beautiful, with their mahogany skin color, large eyes, high cheekbones, huge breasts and ass, and wild exotic hair. But unfortunately for non-Ethiopian men everywhere they keep to their own circle, judged by the fact that I have never seen a white guy with an Ethiopian girl. It’s not fair but that’s life.

My postings on game and girls are from experience, but I’m going to have to branch out here and share with you a plan on how I’m going to get my Ethiopian flag. As a Caucasian man limited by his non-Ethiopianness, the plan is based on… exaggerations.

Once I find an Ethiopian girl to approach (shouldn’t be hard considering that Washington DC has more Ethiopians than any other city outside of Ethiopia), I will attack with this two-pronged strategy:

1. “My old roommate was Ethiopian.” I’m going to talk about Girma and how he taught me a few curse words. Unfortunately I only remember the word “sharmuta,” which means bitch / whore (apparently in many languages).

“The Ethiopian girls he dated would always cook for him and even come over and take care of him when he was sick. It was weird to see because American girls didn’t do that. The American girls had many masculine traits, while the Ethiopian girls didn’t.”

This shows I am an insider and “get” the culture. I was so curious that…

2. “A few years ago I visited Ethiopia for fun.”

“I had a week of extra vacation time to kill. I went to Addis Ababa, among other cities. I really enjoyed the market there—it was huge. I bought a large sugar cane stalk. I wish I could have stayed longer but I worked a corporate job at the time and I couldn’t get off more than a week.”

By now she will be exploding with curiosity, but I will be restrained in showing interest. Her being Ethiopian is not enough and she will have to prove that she isn’t corrupted by the American culture. I’ll go for the kill after a round of cocktails at an Ethiopian restaurant where she will communicate with the staff in her language while I sit there and stare at the interesting decorations on the wall.

If all else fails I’ll just say I’m a speechwriter for Obama.

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