After reading your blog, I resigned all hope of ever getting her to go out with me. However, I finally manned up, talked to her, got the ball rolling, and I’m proud to say that as I speak (or type), she is here in my arms, and we’ve been having a great time together for nearly a month with all signs pointing to longevity in our relationship.

I’ll have to send you a picture so you can finally say that you HAVE seen a white guy with an Ethiopian girl.

Dreams do come true ;-)

it’s funny to watch you gringos talk about how much you know about habesha culture. it doesn’t matter, plain and simple. I’ve dated several ethiopian and eritrean girls ONLY because I look eritrean/arab and I’m in medical school (and their friends and family never found out, which is the difficult part).

The only way to be with habesha girl is to meet her in dubai or adhere into her world, and even if you do you will eventually realize that you aren’t interested, so save yourself the trouble.

by the way..ethiopians are NOT the same as eritreans..sorry

Harar is where they migrated from moving south to kismayu and kenya, they are related to Borana too.

They embraced Islam over 700yrsago, therefore no Habashi no Somalis[Hamatic and kushtic ppl is what they both are].

I lived in Addis for a year teaching English. I too noticed that girls in Ethiopia are unique and beautiful. That being said I learned eventually that those qualities needed to be treated with respect.

As a white guy from the west I carried with me the notions of partying and socializing with me, assuming that they would carry over to Ethiopia. I also thought that the same way i’d meet girls back home would be the same I would meet them in Ethiopia as well. Also untrue.

Do they like westerners or “white guys”? sure they do, but you’ll never know it. First few weeks into my trip I started making eyes with a girl who worked at a bank. I quickly made friends with a guy that worked there and we would meet up for beers. He told me that the girl who worked there was interested in me and I should pursue. I went up to her one day and asked her out for tea. She said “let me think”. Confused, tail between my legs, I walked out not expecting that kind of answer, especially if my buddy gave me the green light. Later the guy at the same bank told me to ask her for her number and call her. So I did, she gave it to me and went back to work. I called her a few times, we chatted, but she seemed reluctant to make plans and meet up. Still not used to the culture, I gave up. Much like in the west, if a girl just refuses to go out with you you move on. This Ethiopian girl didn’t straight out refuse but was playing really hard to get.
A few weeks go by and i’m starting to forget about her. I bump into my friend who works at the same bank and he asked me why I don’t talk to this girl anymore because she keeps asking about me and so on. I told him that I was tired of this chase and i’m not used to it. He then replied “man, this isn’t Canada”. Where you come from the path find a girl is like this *draws a straight line in the air with his hand*, in Ethiopia, the path to find a girl is like this *draws a super squigly complicated line in the air*. It all started to make sense over the year I stayed there and it also shed light on why most if not all of my Habesha guy friends are single as well.

Nonetheless, with the respect I developed for the culture and the traditional values expected from me as a foreigner, I met a wonderful habesha girl and we had a beautiful relationship. I bonded very well with her family as well.

Even after my stay, I found out that some of the girls I worked with were interested as well, but I would have NEVER guessed in a million years from my interaction with them.

Am I still interested in Habesha women? of course. Once you learn how to approach them properly, it is well worth it.

1 BE YOURSELF- save both of us time…we don’t want to see your representatives…we want to see the REAL you. (if you turned out to be a crackhead….Tough luck)

2 HAVE PATIENTS- I know you are probably saying the heck but the trick is first you gotta be the friend type. Even if some guy is trying to take your girl…. just wait ..she will always come to you (build the trust)

3 GET IT OUR OF YOUR HEAD THAT WE ARE IMPOSSIBLE- if you want to ask out an Ethiopian girl..go up to her like you do with any other girls and ASK HER OUT! Be a man! …don’t just sit home and youtube some Ethiopian words. I have to admit it sometimes work…I know a guy who tried play that trick on me..,,BUT YEAH I got bored after 10mins…If the girl likes you back…she will offer to teach you some words..and you say…how about over coffee.

4 MAKING YOUR MOVE- first date is always us trying to see pass you. ..be freaking ROMANTIC! most Ethiopian guys are not. (for the brothers who are reading this I used the word “most” not “all”)and also make it SIMPLE..phrase a walk after dinner (all girls like that)..and YES GET THE GIRL SOME FLOWERS. and yeah…the 3 DATE RULE..does NOT apply for Ethiopian girls..there is NO FREAKING WAY you are sleeping with an Ethiopian girl after the 3rd date. YEP, IF YOU WANT A DECENT RELATIONSHIP YOU GOTTA WAIT. I dated a white guy (has a nice personality) but, he just couldn’t wait..he wanted to get into my pants after the first week. WE DON’T WANT TO BE A FACEBOOK STATUS! OR THE TALK OVER BEER NIGHT. another thing is that the Ethiopian culture is not open about the sex talk (this is where you should do your homework) I never had that talk with either of my parents before I moved to the states…don’t bring it up EVER… YOU GOTTA RESPECT THAT IT’S PART OF THE CULTURE. again it’s all about building the trust.

5 FRIENDS- PLEASE DON’T FLIRT WITH HER FRIENDS (this applies for any types of girl) you will be sending the WRONG message. most of Ethiopian friends teat each other like sisters.

6 COME UP WITH A SOMETHING NICE TO START A CONVERSATION WITH – I hear that all the time walking around campus..you are beautiful..oh your hair..is that a weave? (seriously..that is not the way to start a conversation…no girl should be put in this kinda situation)…when can you make me some injera mama?..yeah I got that once..are you Ethiopian? (as if they haven’t done their research already)…SO PLEASE BE CREATIVE.. DON’T BE STUPID.

ONE LAST THING I CAN THINK OF…not all ETHIOPIAN girls are the same. some like to cook some don’t…most take care of their men..same don’t. don’t forget inner beauty is hella important too…I HOPE THIS HELPS.

And wow, I feel kind of traitorous even revealing this information, but hey, it’s all in the name of love right? And if there are any Latinos on here, I fully expect you to reciprocate *smile*:

Ethiopian/Eritrean (collectively known as Habesha) girls generally won’t talk to you if there are there are other Habeshas around. We’re a fairly self-conscious people, very collectivist, and the impression of the group we’re with definitely counts.

And there are generally two types of girls willing to deal with you “Ferenj” (foreigners). Yes, I understand the irony of calling other races foreigners while in their country, but it speaks to the arrogance of our culture. Come to think of it, that sort of sounds like Ferengi.

Anyway. You’ve got your dirt poor girls looking for a green card and your upper-middle to upper classes that were received enough exposure in their youth to be willing to try interracial dating.

good luck!

If you want to date an Ethiopian women, why don’t you just ask her out like you would any other women. Why should there be a need to fabricate lies and trust me, she will know that you are lying if you lie about going to a place who have never seen.

Go read some books to diversify your perspectives!