When I had a job I’d spend over $500 a month to pick up girls in bars and clubs to take them out on dates. That $500 amount is now my entire budget for the month but my horniness has not ebbed. How do I continue getting laid while living in a suburban desert without opportunities for daytime game?
Here’s how I do it…
1. Clubs are out. They’re just too pricey, even if you get in for free. With a basic vodka drink at $8 you’re looking at spending at least $40 just to get your ears blasted while repeating “What did you say?” all night long to chicks who wish they were Lindsey Lohan. It’s a stupid waste of money, especially if you’re game is talking instead of dancing. It’s important to be a competent dancer but if you are the old guy in the club your supreme dancing skills will be seen as weird and creepy instead of attractive.
2. Weekend game is out. I can’t deny that most girls I’ve laid are from ones I’ve met on the weekend, but is it because the girls who go out on the weekend are easier or because most of the nights I’ve gone out on happen to fall on the weekend? I’m not entirely sure, but let’s face it: weekends are amateur nights, for people who do nothing during the week except work and watch TV. By Friday they are way too excited to go all-out and get sloshed with a group of friends to half-ass the mating dance. When midnight strikes all the girls will be less receptive they should be (based on their quality) because they have been hit on by too many guys in a short period of time.
At the end of a weekend night 98% of all participants fail in their goal to get laid or pair bond. The puffed up jockeying of the guys and the wannabe celebrity attitudes of the girls are replaced with the fascinating late-night feeding behavior, a relatively new phenomenon not seen in our parents time. The herd begins to eat pizza, cheeseburger, gyros, and sometimes falafel, to fill their empty tummies of loneliness and failure. Many will walk out of these eating establishment with grease running halfway down their face.
Weekdays have a more laid back crowd making it easier to meet someone, with fewer guys humping a girl’s leg because of liquid courage and less girls who think they have more options than the zero options they actually have. I met a girl during the weekday at a bar and even though she was a regular she told me I was the first guy who ever approached her there. Maybe she was lying, maybe not, but my point remains.
A downside of weekday bar game is that there are fewer girls, but this is quickly compensated by approaches that are far more likely to result in a loooong conversation. You’ll have to approach two girls to get something instead of five or more on a weekend. I found a Tuesday bar that has given me bountiful fruit from just a couple visits.
Also weekdays are cheaper if you take advantage of a happy hour’s tail end. My average cost for a weeknight is $20, while for a weekend it’s $40. All else being equal do the weekends produce double the results or fun? No, they don’t. If you can find a nice bar on Monday through Wednesday then you are set, but take care on Thursday nights because those tend to be stupid college girl night.
3. Public or bicycle transportation. Cars are ridiculously expensive. You have the car payment, insurance, maintenance, upkeep (tires, battery, windshield wipers), car washes, parking tickets, DUI arrests, and gas. Even if I take taxis everywhere it’s still cheaper than owning a car. But there are two problems with public transportation:
- During the weekday the subway stops early at midnight, so I’m stuck with a hefty cab ride if I decide to ride out the night until 2am closing. This means I have to start very bright and early at 8pm, a time when things are barely getting started. (Solution: Feel out the vibe when the clock hits 11:30am, when you should know if sweet fruit will be obtained or not. Always stay flexible, like a ballet dancer.)
- Pre-drinking is a no go. If the bus ride takes an hour, drinking at home and just sitting on the bus for an hour will destroy your buzz. It will not be as good when you eventually start drinking again at the bar. (Solution: Don’t use alcohol as a crutch to talk to girls. This is something you should be working on long term.)
4. Start your dates at events, not bars. This happened by accident. In my quest to be a cultured man of the world I looked for events like the Greek Festival or European Embassy Open House. There is a lot of substance for fun conversation and you can cap it off with a couple drinks at a cheap neighborhood bar. She won’t care you took her to a dump because you were so original with your date idea. Here you are looking at a $20 date instead of the automatic $60-80 date if you take her to nice lounges like Topaz or Chi-Cha Lounge. By the way, did you know there are still guys taking girls out to dinners? Haha morons.
A good place to find events is the Events tab on Yelp which spoon feed you a wide variety of things to do. In effect you are outsourcing your date ideas, but the girl has no idea and your creativity score will shoot through the fucking roof.
The end result is I spend a third of what I used to spend but I go out less and get laid much more. The get laid more is due to factors besides the scope of this post (continually improving game, for example), so it’s possible your mileage from only going out one weekday a week will hurt your results unless you’re already at a certain level. Another downside is that it will take quite a bit of time investment to find a good weekday spot. You’ll have to experiment.
Every time a buddy calls me on Saturday night to see if I’m staying in to write and drink beer alone there is that moment when I almost say yes, but then I remember the amateurs and ugly white girls who spend so much time to look good only to wear cheap flip flops. How about Tuesday night?