How To Pick Up Girls In A Coffee Shop

1. Go to crowded coffee shops. Your best bet is to visit coffee shops so crowded that all tables are taken. Find the cutest girl in the room and ask if you can share her table. If there isn’t a crowded coffee shop near you, sit at a table where a lot of people have to pass by on their way out.

2. Bring an interesting prop that helps with conversation. Even when I’m working on my laptop, I carry an interesting book (or e-reader) that I can use if a conversation develops. It’s even better if you bring a prop related to one of your hobbies, which allows you to easily display value. For example, if you travel a lot, wear a scarf that you bought abroad. If you’re a chef at a restaurant, have a “draft” menu lying on the table. If you’re a tango dancer, have a picture of you doing a complicated move as the background to your laptop screen.

3. Camp out. Coffee shops are peculiar in that you need to stay a while until opportunities present themselves. It’s not like a club where you go inside, check out the talent, and then immediately leave if you don’t see anything you like. Even in crowded coffee shops, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to do more than two approaches per hour.

4. Come up with “elderly” openers related to what she’s doing. Is she reading a book? Ask her if the book is good. Is she working on a laptop? Ask her if the laptop is a good model. Is she reading a research paper? Ask her if it’s interesting. Keep it easier on yourself by focusing on props that you can talk about. This makes your approach more natural. A reason why coffee shops are so easy to approach is that girls always have props (even if she’s playing a game on her cell phone, your opener can be if it’s a fun game or not).

5. Do the approach. Simply say “Excuse me” and then ask a question related to her prop. If the girl is not seated near you, you’ll have to say it as she walks by your table or when you walk by hers (on the way to the bathroom, for example). Sample opener: “Excuse me, you seem really into your book. Is it a good book?” This simple line will open her over 80% of the time.

6. Talk about the prop you opened with. If you asked her about a pen she’s writing with, and then 30 seconds later you ask where she’s from, the girl will feel like you’re “hitting” on her and then clam up. Instead, talk about the initial prop for at least two minutes until moving onto more personal topics. This is called “elderly chat.” You know its elderly when you can have the same conversation with a guy and he won’t think you’re gay. It should be neutral and non-sexual without asking personal questions (she can ask personal questions early on, but not you).

7. Drop big bait. The hardest part of a day pickup is getting out of elderly chat and dropping enough value where the girl feels compelled to learn more about you. Big bait is a statement that hints towards something interesting you’re doing or have done. For example, if I’m in a coffee shop talking about coffee with a girl, I can say something like, “When I was in Italy, the coffee was so rich and smooth that I didn’t have to put much sugar. I really wish I could find a coffee shop like that here.” If she’s curious, she’ll make a comment about Italy or travel. If she likes you, she’ll outright ask about your trip. Sometimes it takes three or more of these big bait drops until a girl asks you a personal question.

8. Move into a personal chat. After she asks you a personal question (it can be as simple as “What is your name?” or “What do you do?”), you now have enough to at least get a number. Make the conversation more playful by wondering if she’s half-German. Ask for her age. Find out where she lives (for date logistics). Give opinions and comments about her answers without teasing or insulting her. Understand that girls can’t handle cockiness during the day like they can at night.

9. Get her number. If she’s reciprocating with the personal chat by asking you questions in response to yours, it’s time to get her number. The most seamless way to do is to ask where she usually hangs out. After her answer, ask if she wants to hang out with you for a drink. If you got this far, she will almost always give you the digits.

One problem you’ll face is numbers that don’t go anywhere. The easiest way to fix that is to prolong your conversations to a minimum of 15 minutes. While you can get a number after only a few minutes, those are unlikely to lead to a date. During the day, longer conversations are better.

In conclusion, open on a neutral prop that you talk about for at least two minutes. Drop big bait until she asks a personal question, then get to know her with both playful and serious questions. Finally, get her number. Easy, right?

The above coffee shop article was 890 words. My day game book, Day Bang, is 75,000 words, with 26 pages alone on coffee shop approaching and an additional 68 pages on approaching, conversing, dropping big bait, and closing. If you want more details on how to pick up women during the day, click here to learn more about my book.

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