How To Raise A Feminist Son

There’s a blog post called How To Raise A Feminist Son over at one my guilty pleasure readings, Feministing, that is too juicy to resist commenting on. (Side note: am I the only guy who sees the word ‘Fisting’ in ‘Feministing’?)

My son is beautiful, smart, and extremely capable. Obviously, this terrifies me. I have spent a lot of time asking myself this very, very important question: How do I teach my son to not abuse his privilege?

To be sure, I recognize the privilege my son received by accident of birth. He was born to two white, middle-class parents. I have a college education, as does my current partner and my son’s father. He is an only child, and has four grandparents in his life that absolutely dote on him. There is a never-ending supply of love, learning, and involvement. My son has opportunities that many children are not blessed with.

My Comment: Liberal guilt is crushing the mother. As a result this boy will see several third world countries before his 18th birthday, his nose shoved into the trash debris of slums and ghettos to make sure he can never appreciate any future success. Also I wouldn’t consider having two mother’s an “opportunity.” Better than having one mother perhaps but not one mother and father, the most stable of family units.

We recently purchased a house, and to make the transition easier for him, we allowed my son to pick whatever color he wanted to paint his room. He originally picked pink. (My son adores pink, and spent most of his toddlerhood wearing pink and purple pajamas.) I agonized over the choice. There was a part of me that was overjoyed…my son obviously is confident in what he likes, and doesn’t feel the need to conform to what the world tells him about being a BOY. However, I flashed forward to the time when he would invite his male friends over, and they would tease him endlessly about having a “girly” room. The thought of my child being the subject of ridicule is horrifying, as I’m sure any parent can attest to. (Plus, who wants to repaint when he changes his mind in 6 months?!) Ultimately, he chose orange walls and pink trim. I still think about this incident, though, and ponder what it means to try to balance feminist parenting with living in the “real world” where kids can and do get hurt for being different.

My Comment: This boy is not going to have any male friends to invite over if he’s wearing pink clothing. I can only imagine the bulging vein that would develop in my brow if my little brothers begged for a pink room. The slapdown would be so swift and vicious that they would never consider it again. No brother or son of mine will be a beta boy on my watch. But at the same time I encourage my little brothers to grow their hair to shaggy length as opposed to the military cuts my Dad prefers and to pursue writing or artistic endeavors.

I bought butterball bro markers, crayons, and a drawing pad and for a few days it seemed like he was going go to be a Picasso, but since then the pad has found itself underneath a pile of books with his preference going to flash games he plays on the internet. No problem. But if he took an interest in dolls, pink, purple, flowers, makeup, dresses, strawberry cupcakes, or spontaneous crying or feeling I would immediately ridicule and embarrass him, calling him a “baby” and “girl,” asking him if he wants me to put on a big diaper and prepare a bottle of warm milk with honey for him to suckle on. They I will watch the hardened shell of alphaness develop, and nod my head up and down in satisfaction. I will not allow him to take on feminine pursuits that will set him up to be a sensitive wussbag who cries while watching movies like The Notebook. He will be a man, just like his big bro, and he will sleep with dozens of women and go through many STD scares until one day he gets so tired of banging that he settles down with a compliant girl who loves him unconditionally, cooks, and cleans. She will serve him while he has mistresses on the side.

My son is very sensitive. He cries easily, gets his feelings hurt often, and is generally more attuned to what is going on with people’s emotions around him. He has always been kind of my little empath, reacting to the world around him and showing every bit of what he’s feeling to anyone who may be paying attention. This causes MANY of the people around him, especially older men, to be very troubled by his shows of emotion. He has been told more times than I can count to “toughen up”, “act like a boy”, and “don’t act like such a baby, girl, (insert insulting feminine word here).” I get very frustrated trying to teach him that it is OK to be that way, no matter what the world is telling him he *should* act like. I am actually very surprised that more of the behavior hasn’t been conditioned out of him yet. I hope that reflects my never-ending support in him and how he choses to display himself. I dread the day when all the conditioning he has received about how to “act like a man” starts to take hold, and I see my beautiful son start trying to hide his emotions.

My Comment: I had to look up “empath” because I didn’t know what it meant. I figured it was related to the word empathy. Here’s Wikipedia: “…empaths are also able to project their own emotions, or to affect the emotions of others. As a result, empath is a term coming into common usage to refer to a person with a feeling expanded sensitivity or clairsentience.” In other words an empath is a woman. I’m sorry the donated sperm had a Y chromosome instead of X, but raising a boy to be a woman is child abuse, plain and simple.

I am very careful to correct people (mostly people that I know, although I have done it to strangers) when they ask my son “Oh, do you have a girlfriend?” that I do not presume my son’s sexuality, and he may very well end up with a boyfriend, or not want to have a partner at all. This is usually met with eyerolls or stern looks.

My Comment: We all know what sexuality she wants her son to be. *Wink wink*

I am outreach worker for a family planning agency, so my son has spent most of his life being immersed in a very liberal, pro-choice, diverse community. I have many friends of different orientations, ethnicities, backgrounds, and beliefs. I find myself wondering if I selfishly seek out people to be acquaintances so I can provide a diverse group of people for my son to interact with. I’m not sure how to balance my desire for him to grow up surrounded by different perspectives with the knowledge that I cannot use people’s lives to set examples for him. It’s a difficult line to straddle.

My Comment: A vagina will spontaneously erupt from this poor boy’s crotch.

Let’s be real. The title of her post should be “How To Raise A Gay Son.” That’s her outcome and that’s what she’ll get. Poor kid doesn’t even have a choice (“pro-choice,” only when it suits her). And you know her little empath is definitely going to be a bottom, letting Rico and Gary tag team him during weekend benders. Look, if my either of my little brothers become gay then I would love them not an ounce less, but I’d be a fool to encourage it.

I remember the day I caught my 11-year-old brother searching for “lesbeens kising” on YouTube. I scolded him, for his bad spelling. He’ll be alright.

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  • Generate

    Wait, it’s not spelled “lesbeens”?

  • Sameer

    I am pretty sure that the “Fisting” in “Feministing” is intentional.

  • The Dude

    God– this is the saddest thing I have ever read. These women probably could do their son less abuse by physically beating him.

  • adrock

    This women should’ve just bought a few cats. This poor boy doesn’t deserve this.

  • Anonymous

    I gotta related quandry. My sister and her LLP (LezLifePartner) are expecting triplets. Just posted about it.

  • Sweatpants

    Man. No matter what, I have to give you props for just laying it out like you do. Absolutely no pretense or beating around the bush.

  • Scoot

    “I remember the day I caught my 11-year-old brother searching for “lesbeens kising” on YouTube. I scolded him, for his bad spelling. He’ll be alright.”

    LOL moment of the day for me dude!

  • The G Manifesto

    I saw some “lesbeens kising” on Saturday night. At my crib at 3am. Decent.

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Treat Her Like A Lady.

  • Jeanne

    I remember the day I caught my 11-year-old brother searching for �lesbeens kising� on YouTube. I scolded him, for his bad spelling. He�ll be alright.

    That made my day.

  • Pedro

    I feel sorry for that kid. Womanfisters are usually the most wild in bed by the way. keep up the good work roosh.

  • AG

    Disgusting…and I am not talking about the linked article alone….read some of the comments. It sort of makes sense because theres only a certain type who would agree with the sentiments typed out in that post…check out”LlesbianLlama”‘s first comment…I couldn’t read any more, but this is one of those articles where yeah I feel bad but also angry at whats being done to that kid…its just not on…

  • PinkFish

    They should be very happy to know they are raising a pussy that will forever have issues, be socially ill at ease and will most certainly not have an easy time transferring his knowledge of women from “being a woman” to banging women. The poor bastard’s finished. I know have a lot more perspective on this fragile dude 3 cube’s down who is still trying to lose that v-card at age 28.

  • Eugenius

    Great post…..This kid will grow up to hate his parents, no doubt about it.

    I wouldnt be surprised if he did something stupid to get attention like one day go to his receptionist job at Cosmo, stab some girl with a pink color pen (lets face there is no way he would be able to fight a man), go to jail for a year, get gang raped by 30 dudes, get out after a year, comeback and murder his shit parents – for ruining his life before he was even born. Back to jail and gangrapes…

    Roosh if you can follow up on this kid like 6 months or a year from now, do it once a year, as an experiment, record whats going on, and let us know.

    PS. In school and for that matter in real world, especially any other country he will never be taken seriously….batty boy… and yes first thing I though of when I saw the title of the blog was fisting :-)

  • Thursday

    But if he took an interest in dolls, pink, purple, flowers, makeup, dresses, strawberry cupcakes, or spontaneous crying or feeling I would immediately ridicule and embarrass him, calling him a “baby” and “girl,” asking him if he wants me to put on a big diaper and prepare a bottle of warm milk with honey for him to suckle on. They I will watch the hardened shell of alphaness develop, and nod my head up and down in satisfaction.

    If your son/brother is choosing a pink room and plays with dolls etc., I have news for you, he’s already gay and no shaming or other efforts on you part are going to change that. Gayness seems to be caused by something hormonal that happens to the fetus in the womb, so you’ll just be making your kid miserable trying to change him. At that point it’s all just damage control.

    Thursday’s last blog post: Publication.

  • Terps

    Kinda makes me glad I had a tough-as-nails stepfather busting my balls growing up.

    No matter how liberal you are, we have a pair of balls and testosterone in our bodies for a reason. If he wants to have a pink room, get highlights, spike up his hair and smoke pole, that’s fine. But it should be his personal choice and not an outcome of his upbringing. Men shouldn’t be conditioned in that “you shouldn’t act a certain way” mentality. That’s only gonna get you unassertiveness and other people stepping on you.

  • namaste

    I completely agree that this is an issue. Whatever happened to just raising a kid to be a good person? Why all of the obsessiveness about his anti-male empathy or the color pink? It seems to me that in her quest to establish her son as different, she is actually reinforcing the binary between sexes. It’s a pity, really.

    Sure, whatever, let him be aware that there are people in the world who are less advantaged, but all of this mother’s coddling is going to inevitably lead the kid to deep rebellion issues in his teen years. Who knows, he may just end up voting Republican just to spite her. Poor thing.

    namaste’s last blog post: Latitudes.

  • Steve Lurkel

    yeah, this kid’s gonna be hella soft; like velveteen teddy bears doing water ballet in a swimming pool filled with cotton candy…and rainbows.

  • z

    I side with Roosh here………1000%. The feminist is guilty of child abuse in the realest sense. She wants a gay son so she can parade him around to suit her whiterpeople-vanity. She will be elated if he is ever discriminated against so they can both be “victims”. She doesn’t deserve grandchildren of her own.

  • Emily

    I just always assumed it referred to the fisting of feminists. You mean it doesn’t?

    Emily’s last blog post: Where Is He?.

  • GJ

    Holy crap to AG– it didn’t even occur to me to read the comments on the original post, and it is horrible. I’m trying to stop, but I can’t, it’s like watching 5,000 man-hating car accidents at once.

  • Jackgoesforth

    “He will be a man, just like his big bro, and he will sleep with dozens of women and go through many STD scares…”

    Nothing like multiple STD scares to give you a hardened shell of alphaness. haha, good post.

    Jackgoesforth’s last blog post: The NASCAR Rednecks Depart, JGF Rejoices!.

  • Trannied Toddler

    I was that kid. I always had my dad around but he didn’t call the shots. My mom dressed me as a female character and paraded me around for trick-or-treating when I was only 2 1/2 and took the “adorable” pictures. I was kept out of sports and told things like “I think you are gentle!” and “You do not want to give yourself up to just anybody!” It’s a miracle I’m not a Pet Shop Boy but needless to say sites like this and constant field excursions are my rehab.

  • flip

    I think I remember seeing this very same story in Savage Love recently. Dan Savage came to the same conclusion as you Roosh… this is abuse, plain and simple.

  • Anonymous

    give it up!
    you seem to completely worship your father’s penis.
    It’s not god, you idiot, just live for a bit and see what makes you happy and take the pressure off to keep having to post an opinion/broadcast your ignorance on stuff…man, I hate it when idiots find the loudspeaker.

  • Are pink shirts ok?

    “This boy is not going to have any male friends to invite over if he’s wearing pink clothing”

    Well, I think we all can agree he’ll probably actually have a good number of males over, in his bedroom.

  • Peter

    When I read articles like this I think that maybe, just maybe, the Taliban really aren’t quite as bad as we think.

    Though on second thought, a young boy’s smooth bottom is said to be a highly prized commodity in Afghanistan.

  • T. AKA Ricky Raw

    When I read articles like this I think that maybe, just maybe, the Taliban really aren’t quite as bad as we think

    Okay, I have to give Peter props. This one made me laugh out loud.

    Lordy did this post make me want to kill myself.

    T. AKA Ricky Raw’s last blog post: My European Trip, Part 1: Sweden.

  • Chloe

    Hmm. If I had a son, I think I’d rather have him be gay than self-loathing, or have him resent me for pressuring him to be something that he wasn’t.

    But I don’t know. I think she’s over-analyzing. My brother grew up in a house of girls. We dressed him in our dresses, put makeup on him, and let him watch TLC and Bravo with us… he turned out straight and functional.

  • nuclearD

    “My son is beautiful, smart, and extremely capable. Obviously, this terrifies me.”

    Wow. I can’t think of a more twisted take on human excellence. Her own son, and she is “terrified” by his good qualities. And a side note, she’s wrapped up in a world where her terror at the prospect of an excellent son is “obvious.” I mean, who could disagree that a smart, beautiful, capable son is a terrifying thing?

    All joking aside, that is deeply, deeply messed up. God save that boy.

  • Benedict Smith

    the catastrophic striking of reality that poor child will suffer gives me chills. *sigh* poor, poor young man raised to be such a pansy.

    Benedict Smith’s last blog post: Benedict Presents – Urban Myths Volume 1.

  • MQ

    Empathic, sensitive, slightly effeminate-seeming men can absolutely clean up with women — so long as they are confident, outgoing, know what they want, etc. Self-confidence, not machismo, is the key. The sensitive part can be an advantage.

    Women judge men very differently than men do; this thread imposes a lot of male standards.

  • loki on the run

    Fifty percent of the kid’s genes come from the mother. Who knows what the other 50 percent were like, since who can trust the mother to choose well.

    The kid was a loser from conception, face it.

    Move on to more productive enterprises.

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  • anonymous

    i think dan savage also analyzed the empath post and came to the same conclusion that it was bordering child abuse… and he is a gay man…

  • Yo Jimbo

    A lot of single mothers sexually abuse their sons. Children (if male) are much less safe around women than they are men. Family court claims to rule in the best interest of the children, but this is a gynocentric lie. Women’s interests come first in the American court of law.

  • kahn

    feminists are almost always lesbians! dykes want their children to be gay!

    Pity on the feminist whore mom who wants to raise a faggot.

  • Barry

    What’s with the pink hate? If I’m not mistaken, before the whole “blue boy, pink girl” dichotomy settled in, pink was actually considered manly color, being close to red etc.

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  • Anonymous

    I dont agree with the way the child is being raised but I’m also sickened by several of roosh’s comments. Equating “spontaneous feeling,” a simple human attribute with other girly characteristics is absurd. It’s one thing to want them to be masculine, it’s another to want them to be inhuman or to feel endlessly insecure BC of their humanity.
    Oh and ps. Unconditional love does not mean cooking, cleaning and serving you while you’re out fucking other women. You clearly have no respect for women, but worse you have an inflated, grandiose sense of self and no
    conscience. You should be very proud….

  • Elliott

    “You clearly have no respect for women, but worse you have an inflated, grandiose sense of self and no
    conscience. You should be very proud…”

    Anon 39, I think you just gave Roosh a compliment. I’m sure he is very, very proud.

    On the subject of this kid, good GRIEF!! This is saddening and sickening at the same time. The poor boy’s mother hates everything he is; white, male, talented, and fortunate. There is hope, though. No amount of feminist parenting can force him to “sprout a vagina” like Roosh says (unless, that is, she forces him to undergo sex reassignment surgery, but I really hope that’s illegal). Sooner or later, reality will slap this boy upside the head and all of mom’s brainwashing will slowly but surely begin to work its way out of his system.

  • Micaela

    Hum… Let me “comment” on your personality… Option 1: You are, deep down, a frustated little boy with a father very severe, who beat you when you were young. Can i go a little further and say you were abused? yes, yes i can. Your mother must’ve died, or was absent, or just an attention whore who needed the company of another guys and your father would beat you for that. Maybe she was a prostitute? who knows, maybe she was it all at the same time.
    Option 2: Your father was a military. Because he was so strict to you and your mom, he raised you to NEVER trust in women, because he saw them merely as objects of pleasure. Women were garbage for them, and, surprise, surprise, since you’re american and you have to keep the legacy, women are garbage for you too. Oh, good ol’America! Since you were ugly as fuck when you were in highschool, and still are, probably, (because other wise, you wouldnt be writing such a sexist blog about how you can’t get a wife, and saying that you fuck alot, poor thing, needs to reassure his manhood), girls never wanted you for nothing, BUT, now, you only get them because you go to the gym, travel, and have a blog… you can’t get them because of who you are. AND YOU NEVER WILL.
    It’s because men like you women are more and more feminist. They’re smart, unlike your future wife, who will be more likely to only be able to say, in english, “thank you”, “yes” and “no”. Which is fine for you, because you just want her to talk with you when you want sex, right? She just has to say “yes, señor”. Men in love… Such a beautiful thing!

    Can’t you see that your hate towards women is the only thing that is pushing women away from you? Let the past be in the past, you’re still in time to change of opinion, and actually find love. Yeah, some women are sob’s… But that’s because most men are sob’s as well!

  • Micaela


  • B-dawg

    I like your attitude about raising boys to be MEN instead of sensitive wussbags, but if your little brother/son is GENETICALLY a sensitive wussbag like me, you’re SOL (and so is your brother/son.)
    For example, if another guy starts “acting tough” with me, I get a sick, all-pervading knot of fear in my stomach/heart area which literally paralyzes me (My knees also start shaking and I can’t stop shaking no matter what I do.)
    I AM A GENETIC COWARD! (And need it be said, that women DON’T like cowardly males?)
    So as you can see, I’m not a man and never can be one, due to bad genetics. Here’s hoping no such curse affects your brothers or potential sons!

  • http://N/A Psychonaut

    yeah, this kid’s gonna be hella soft; like velveteen teddy bears doing water ballet in a swimming pool filled with cotton candy…and rainbows.

    by Steve Lurkel on Sep 8, 2008 at 8:26 pm


    Haha I am reading this high on hash. Fuckin’ hillarious.

  • TOM

    THIS IS AMAZING! Good job squire. Just because these feminazis want to be lesbians, it does not mean they must drag their sons in to the same path of homosexuality.

    All boys should be raised as men. Too many pussies with fake tan and bleached hair, thinking its cool to be bi. NO. Man up, play rugby, drink, fight, fuck, forge swords.

  • optional

    To original author: You think you’re witty and all that? where in fact you have nothing valuable to add to the point, you’re just making waves in a vacuum — your understanding of the matter is too shallow (reading from your comments) in order to even have an opinion on rising a man in a misogynist society.

  • Anonymous

    Firstly, I agree that she’s probably being too over-protective. But then again, she’s a parent. A lot of parents do that.

    To all of those who say this is child abuse? Well, take a look at those boys who are naturally more emotional and happen to like the color pink who are beaten within an inch of their life by their parents. That’s child abuse. This is helicopter parenting.

    I’ve got news for you… no amount of ridicule, embarrassment or beatings can make a boy straight; and no amount of coddling, pink paint or feminist theory can make him gay.

  • LKS

    Roosh if you want a faithful wife but have a mistress at the same time you are not that different from latin american or eastern european men but again you’re not anglo-saxon…

  • Robert Kastle

    Poor fucking kid.

    BTW, you mentioned a faithful wife and a mistress. Don’t bother with a wife. Marriage is a waste of time, energy, and money. I know, I’ve tried it twice. Luckily both were richer than me, so there were no big financial losses during divorces.

    Take it from me, I am 45 years old, I’m in the top 1% of wage earners in the world, I stay in good shape, and I constantly do things that are fun for me. Being a perpetual, wealthy bachelor is the greatest thing on earth. The world is your oyster, and I’d rather die alone than suffer forty years with some bitch so she changes my diapers when I’m 90. I can pay someone to do that when the time comes, if it comes.

  • george

    well, basically his mother is just doing what any mother on this planet would like to do to their son, egoistically shaping the boy in a way that he would “never hurt a woman”.

    since neither she nor society nor any woman can surpress his natural drives, however hard she tries, chances are the little empath is going to counter-react HARD when he hits puberty, grows up, and realizes how fucked his upbringing was. this will send him to a crusade of rage-fucking throughout the entire world, similarly to rooshs actions.

  • Pete

    Eggs are expensive and sperm is cheap. That’s why girls are coddled from birth while boys are told to suck it up and man up.

  • Sage Leppala

    You’re an insecure douche. Have a great day.

  • Arian

    It will, this is what happened to me

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