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How To Take A Cold Shower

It’s impossible to backpack through South America without having to take a cold shower, even if you only go to hotels that advertise hot showers like I do. Sometimes there is no regulator, or the morning shower rush simply overwhelms the puny heater and you don’t want to wait another two hours, or they simply lie.

1. You can’t just dive into the cold. You have to mentally prepare yourself for at least 10 minutes. Flex your muscles to pump yourself up and say things like, “I am like block of fire,” and “This will make me a real man.” Nod your head as you think these thoughts and purse your lips a couple times to convince your brain that you mean business. (I really do this.)

2. Turn on the water. Stare at it as it flows and give it the evil eye.

3. Point the shower head away and step in. Be concerned at how cold the mist is. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and move the nozzle over you head. Howl loud enough so the Incans can hear you.

4. Keep your muscles flexed as you soak yourself with water that feels like it comes from melting ice blocks. Point the nozzle away and clean yourself with soap products. Within two minutes you no longer need to flex your muscles because you are shivering nice and good.

5. Rinse your body. The water doesn’t feel as cold now because violent body tremors are warming you up somewhat.

It takes about 30 minutes for your body to warm up to normal, your hands and feet being last. Congratulate yourself for making a big deal about something that most locals do their entire lives. Pussy.

 
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12 Comments »
4 years, 4 months ago

I took cold showers in Rome for 10 days. And by ten days I mean I showered twice because it was unbearable.
Basically my friend’s apartment had a water heater that was good for 1 shower. Given that the week I was there there were 15 people staying at the apartment, I would curse the bitch who used up the hot water mercilessly.
Here’s how I did it:
Mentally prepared myself for the cold, stepped in, cried, then turned water off. Lathered with soap and shampoo. Turned water back on, cried. Washed off soap and shampoo, turned water off and the repeated the process with conditioner. We’re so spoiled and clean! here in America.

You’re a trooper. :thumbup:

2 Rajia
4 years, 4 months ago

Or you could skip the morning shower all together and take an afternoon/evening shower, once the communal water heater (which is probably just a container on the roof) has had a chance to heat up again. I found this worked for me in many places while traveling. You’re going to get gross, dusty, sweaty and dirty during the day anyway, so why not hold off until evening?

3 Nikita
4 years, 4 months ago

In the words of Mr. T, “I pity you, foo.”

4 years, 4 months ago

lol. you really nailed the cold shower experience.

did that $3.95 hotel have hot showers? if it did, for $120 monthly rent you may as well move all your stuff in there and live the easy life.

5 surfallday
4 years, 4 months ago

when i started surfing the cold bothered me so to get used to i did this routine till i got used to it
1. get into a cold shower until you get totally soaked only then turn on the warm water
2. before getting out turn on the cold water until you get cold.
3. work on not freaking out and controlling your breath and mind. Learn to stop the shaking and just sort of be normal.
4. after about 3 weeks its natural.

you can never really “get over” the cold but you can learn how to deal with it – it may seem incongrous but its not, its basically like a mental muscle that you build up – you may not be used to running 7 miles but you can get yourself to a point where its no big deal, this is exactly the same.

6 surfallday
4 years, 4 months ago

hehe BTW Tupiza Bolivia – is funny, the russian speakers here will back me up on this (funny on about 1-2 grade level :) im so mature!

7 surfallday
4 years, 4 months ago

This dude has done lots of research on “getting over” the cold, although its not mentioned in the article.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fridtjof_Nansen#References

4 years, 4 months ago

I’ve taken many cold showers in Brazil, but it was always by choice, not for lack of options (most showers in Brazil have the heater right by the shower, or a sort of central heater that goes on when you turn the hot water on — so the hot water lasts as long as you want, there’s nothing storing the hot water, like there is here).

Anyway, living in Rio most of my life, the cold water was never COLD. It was more like lukewarm / room temperature, so totally fine, and just what you need at the end of a HOT day at the beach!

9 Shoeless Joe
4 years, 4 months ago

funny post. You could always go for a quick 5 mile jog before jumping in.

4 years, 4 months ago

You are going to come back a whole new man and truly appreciate all America has. This is such a fantastic experience for you!

11 eugenius
4 years, 4 months ago

As a russian speaker I second surfallday…..I didnt even realize until I read the name of the town out loud……..2nd grade level humor my ass…..its still funny at any age…

Roosh you are becoming a man…..a real man…I am assuming all the diseases you mentioned earlier have been cured and have made you stronger…..

PS. The “thing” …is persistantly annoying.
PSS. Love the postcards

4 years, 4 months ago

Roosh you are becoming a man…..a real man… :idea2:

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