How To Tell A Girl What You Do

Expanding on the why logic hurts guys theme, I want to give two examples of how to drop the same job: a world-class clay potter.

You’re at a bar talking to some girl. The first question she asks you is “What do you do?” You reply, “I’m a world-class clay potter. I do exhibits here in D.C.” The girl looks at her friend and rolls her eyes. “What a loser, bragging about clay pots,” she thinks. The conversation dies down a couple minutes later.

You’re at a bar talking to some girl. The first question she asks you is “What do you do?” You reply, “You mean for money?”

“Uh yeah for money.”

“Well it’s complicated.”

“Complicated?”

“Yeah well I work with the Earth. I make things with mud and dirt. Then I sell my mud creations to discerning individuals.”

“Are you serious?” she asks.

“Yeah I love mud. I just have this thing for mud. I mean, who doesn’t?”

“I don’t,” she scoffs.

“Well that’s a shame. Thanks to mud, I’m able to come to bars like this and buy this beer. Cause of MUD.”

“You’re weird.”

Then she gives you a look, wondering if you’re serious or not. Three hours later you’re fucking her on your bed. On her way out, she notices a picture of you handing a clay pot to the mayor of some small Eastern European town, a piece you sold him years ago. You call her a few days later and she agrees to go out with you, and you fuck her again.

Logic dictates that you should directly state an accomplishment to a girl in hopes of bedding her, but as many guys know, this doesn’t work. If logic worked, guys would be wearing t-shirts with their yearly income and/or dick size (the latter for me), yet in reality they would be labeled a douche and laughed out the bar.

Be shady and dance around the answer instead. Purposefully not impressing a girl is the best way to impress her, since it shows you don’t care about her and that your value is higher than hers. Let her find out things eventually on her own by accident (after some insinuation on your part) where the effect will be much more potent. Let her think: “Why didn’t he brag about this great accomplishment?” Because you don’t give a shit. And that’s a key piece of the puzzle to fucking a lot of girls.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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  • J

    Last few girls I’ve talked to have asked me what I do, and I say my job definitely doesn’t define me but allows me to do what I really love, travel, photography, whatever, and change the subject to that.

    This past weekend in line at a bar the girls I were with coaxed the guys behind me to let them have their jacket. They see I’m with them and first words to me are “so what do you do?” I replied, “really? that’s the first thing you’re going to ask me? and I’m not even a chick. good luck inside” The girls high-fived me. Turns out they are lawyers, shocking!

  • http://www.luannafernandes.wordpress.com Mrs. Chocolate

    Go straight to the point, please. It is hard for me explain what do I do for living, so I know what Im talking about

    Mrs. Chocolate’s last blog post: Hurts… A lot.

  • Carl Sagan

    If logic worked, guys would be wearing t-shirts with their yearly income and/or dick size (the latter for me), yet in reality they would be labeled a douche and laughed out the bar.

    LOL!

  • http://vksempireofdirt.com Virgle Kent

    Man, this one is way too deep for most guys to understand… it takes a lifetime

  • Anonymous

    LOL Virgle Kent, I agree.
    Stop bragging about shit, no matter how meaningful you think it is. Nothing is such a ‘big deal’, people don’t seem to get this.
    @J, you’re still missing the point.

  • The Rookie

    sucks to find out that the profession you’ve spent a shit load of $$, just to brag about it, won’t help. can i get a refund?

  • http://krauserpua.wordpress.com Krauser

    It’s the standard rule of DHVing. Do it obliquely.

    My current answer is to run off at a tangent:

    “Well, when I was a little boy what I WANTED to be was a sword fighter. I grew up watching Sinbad movies……”

    If they ask again later, I go to a real answer:

    “You know those greedy bankers who destroyed the world economy?”…….

    Krauser’s last blog post: Mercy fucking.

  • Chris

    This is the most common and telling first question out of most females mouths. The problem is that its hard to tell if she’s really a mercenary or just so preprogrammed into thinking this is an acceptable opening question that she doesn’t realize that she is marking herself as undesirable and uninteresting to men who have choices in life. Therefore, I will usually allow the interaction to progress given the possibility that she is too socially non-aware to realize how her question sounds. Usually, thats the case in most instances. I’ve noticed that most gold diggers have become too sophisticated in recent years to ask such a telling question upfront.

    Ironically, women with the mercenary mindset won’t be able to land socially desirable men with choices (money or not), as they would actually prefer, but only socially undesirable men with too much money to waste on hookers, ahem, I mean women. Women who are happy with this arrangement usually have stopped caring much about sex a long time ago.

    Even guys with fantastic jobs would do a lot worse to answer this question directly/truthfully. Roosh is exactly right, lying tells her that you don’t give a shit about what she thinks of you. It works. Only when guys are putting that pussy on a pedestal do they feel the need to impress women. Trust me when I say that being an i-banker, attorney or even a doctor does not help you pull more and better quality trim if the rest of your game isnt in place. I have friends who are all of these things, and I know that their jobs get them a minute or two more of attention of the average girl/non-mercenary at most. This is usually to give the guy the benefit of the doubt despite their obvious lack of game, which quickly results in the girl confirming her suspicions.

  • Jay Gatsby

    People value things (and information) they have to work to obtain. If she quickly gets annoyed, you’re probably better off without her because she wouldn’t have asked the question (what do you do for a living) if she didn’t already have one in mind. If your answer is anything less than a high-earning job, you’re SOL.

  • Anonymous

    I completely agree. And guys, this applies to everything, not just your job. It applies to what kind of car you have, if you live in a well-known stylish, expensive apartment building, where you went to college, etc. When you KNOW these things are impressive to women/average person, it’s a huge, HUGE turn on for women to later be more “surprised” by the information (as in finding out indirectly, not by asking) and makes it sound a thousand times more impressive. Be playfully mysterious when it comes to these things and not in a way where you obviously seem insecure about your possible low-paying job. Also try not to grin in an arrogant way when she eventually finds out you drive a bmw and are an i-banker. Nothing dries up the vagina more than a male who brags about himself and his accomplishments and isn’t modest about things.

  • Anonymous

    Being vague about your job is a good point; one of the classic PUA tactics. I also agree with the poster “Chris” that in a lot of ways more men are on to whole “what do you do?” question does not mean she wants to get to know you but rather she is trying to put an estimation on your income. I suspect too that the more clever gold-diggers are using more subtle means to get enough info from you about your work.

    If however a chick keeps asking and insists “Come on I want to get to know you” then simply tell the trollop you just got out of prison. American culture is Thug loving culture. This is especially true with the prettier ones. The prettier they are the more they go for violent abusive men anyway. We all know this, it’s just now becoming something people are willing to talk about in the open.

  • ‘Hobart

    It’s not logic that’s at fault – logic clearly tells us that trying to prove to someone that you have a certain quality often means you don’t have it.

    Its the same with acting Alpha in general. If you try too hard to act Alpha, you paradoxically manage ering to convince everyone that you aren’t Alpha.

    Trying too hard to convince anyone of anything merely shows that you dont possess that thing.

    I think this point is extremely crucial in mastering Game and recieves far too little attention in the Game community.

    I am sure there are many guys out there who readd Roissy for a bit and go out acting super-macho and cant understand why women laugh at them instead of falling madly in love with them like the Game people say, and dont realize that a true Alpha does NOT NEED TO PROVE HIS ALPHA STATUS by impressing anybody.

    These guys have just been given bad advice by someone who has a partial and slippery grasp of what true Alphaness entails, and probably get discouraged with Game when all they need is to understand it better.

    One of Roissy’s “rules of poon” actually counsels you to act more arrogant and confident that you might feel – yet what is this but encouraging guys to go out try too hard to show everyone they are Alpha? It’s a disaster.

    Being OVER-confident and OVER-arrogant is just as bad as being too little of those things, and this absolutely crucial point MUST be addressed better by the Game community. Being over-confident or over-arrogant merely looks like you’re insecure and trying to prove what you dont have.

  • boston66

    Ill tell them I’m an organic farmer. They always laugh then like roosh says start slow. Tell them why and how. Leave out useless info like time, names, and numbers.

  • http://xanga.com johnny doe

    u all are being way way too serious. Have some fun w/that question!
    I usually tell girls “I’m a paid escort”
    “REALLY”
    “u know, girl wants to look cool at a bar, that’s where I come in. . .it’s pretty serious though, no touching involved! We’re talking thousands of dollars here”
    I’ve varied the shit out of this response, NOT TO GET girls, just to amuse myself. One time, at a party, ppl really believed me and were asking all kinds of shit.
    It got to the point where i was like ‘eh, recession is bad rite now. chicks would rather read a book on a saturday nite than come w/some arm candy at the bar’

  • http://thedatingcroniclesoftylerd.blogspot.com/ Tyler

    Last night a girl asked me what I do. I acted as if it were the strangest question I ever heard.

    “What do I do? I go to bars. I try to eat three square meals a day. Every once in a while I shower. I mainly just try to maintain a healthy living style. What do you do?”

    Then she said, “No, for work!”

    “OOOhhhhh, well I ride on the back of a truck and collect Recycling.” This conversation went on as I sat there doodling on a bar napkin. I don’t really pay attention to girls. Less is more. I was more interesting than my friend explaining his financial job.

    Tyler’s last blog post: Viecas Puerto Rico.

  • http://districtramblings.com Laura

    Whoa- we actually agree on something. Woman hate pompous men bragging about their careers- I always assume those men have small dicks. Much better to be playful about it.

    Laura’s last blog post: Junkie-Geniuses: Why History’s Visionaries All Got High.

  • Gio

    great post roosh, this is some real slick gamey type shit. I learned to never give a girl a straight answer…answer with some funny almost sarcastic, playful response. Everyone knows the science of game but the art of game is just as important. and harder to learn…

  • Carl Sagan

    I find the playful retort to the question “what do you do?” is great because it opens up all kinds of new interesting threads to the conversation.

    So instead of droning on and on about your lame job, you can have a fun conversation about what it’s like to be a male escort in the big city and so on.

  • http://adequatelyreserved.wordpress.com bcg

    The dream for most men is to snag a really hot girl who’s unaware of her own beauty, because we’ll get a good return on our attention investment. Because she’s “mispricing” your value relative to hers, she will not aggressively negotiate by threatening to walk, etc.

    I think a lot women (dare I say most) share the same dream – finding a man who doesn’t know his own value, like a car that needs someone to step on the gas and steer. I think this is why saying, “I build things out of mud,” and then she later finds the picture, is like catnip for women. You act like you’re unaware of your own value, and then she sees later you’re being underutilized. It’s like she just got inside information on a stock that’s about to triple in value, and she can buy now while the price is artificially low.

    Will the mudman bang that girl again? Yes. I’ll give you three guesses what she’s going to suddenly have found an interest in talking about during their next date. Now his job is to hem and haw, “I do it for the art, not for the money,” and she will continue her persuasion efforts. At the risk of oversimplifying, I think a lot of game is about simultaneously signaling both talent and unawareness of that talent.

    bcg’s last blog post: New Facebook feature idea: Friend-request acceptance noted as explicitly obligatory.

  • Jay Gatsby

    Several years ago I had a girl ask me this when I was hanging out at Dan’s in Adams Morgan. She was a bitchy lawyer who worked at some big law firm downtown, and couldn’t wait to tell me first to impress me (or possibly intimidate me). So, I decided to screw with her a little.

    Her: “I just graduated from [insert prestigious law school] and joined XYZ Biglaw firm in its [blah, blah, blah] department. Where do you work?”

    Me: “My office? I have a small one in a building downtown. It’s not much; I don’t even have a window.”

    Her: “Well, mine has a nice view of the monuments. It’s pretty impressive. So where’s your office?”

    Me: “The White House”

    Her:

  • str8up

    If a chick gets to the point where she asks me what I do for a living, her attraction level amps up 2-3x over the course of the next ten minutes, without fail.

    Why?

    Because it’s hard to explain what I do for a living and as a result I never give them a straight answer. I always have a couple of business ventures or investments in the works. I don’t fit into a “slot” like most people.

    I finally made the connection that it was my answer to this question that was wetting panties when I realized that this works REALLY well on chicks who have boyfriends in the same room. Frighteningly well. Like, to the point where I have to make a conscious effort to put distance between myself and the chick because she’s the new girlfriend of a friend.

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  • Sk3ptic

    Roosh, is Las Prepagos still the most popular book there? What does that say about the culture

  • Sh0t

    Way over gaming if you go into those deep poetic sentences. “What do you do?” “Make pots”. Done. no need to over analyze everything just so you have more to write. Some essays are short.

  • http://sjones84.blogspot.com/ Solo

    I hate this question (because you can tell some women will stop talking to you just because of how you will answer) usually now a days I respond with something like “I’m a Parking lot engineer” or “I’m a secret agent”

    Solo’s last blog post: Lake Threapy.

  • Joe G

    Her: So what do you do?
    Me: A whole bunch of shit, and maybe more down the road.
    Her: Like what?
    Me: If I told you, I’d have to kill you :D
    Her: Haha really?
    Me: Haha … yeah.

  • runnerguy

    Ha, I got a new idea out of this.

    Her what do you do?

    Me. Bus driver.

    Her. Really ?

    Me. That’s what my Meyers Briggs test in college said I should do.

  • JayD

    i’m a used light repairman. Never fails

    Another tip to add, if she’s already giving you IOI’s then you hooked the social point and prob. already in to attraction.

    1.Attraction
    2.Qualification
    3.Comfort
    4.Seduction

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003405406836 Vivek

    - Wow! These are siunntng! The parents look so in love with their precious new baby girl…love how you caught those emotions!

  • Anonymous

    girl:what do you do ?

    guy:for money?
    girl: ?
    Guy:I help people.
    girl:?
    Guy:People with disabilities , there is really so much to learn from them.
    girl:?
    Guy:Mostly mental illness … I just find it so rewarding.
    girl:?
    Guy: I help them buy my book bang. LOL

  • Anonymous

    girl: So what do you do?

    me: about what???

  • Anonymous

    I usually tell girls the truth with a twist so they feel stupid. I tell them I am in the IT business and I am one of those computer geniuses(which I am) you read about. I then go on to tell them they wouldn’t understand my line of work. Basically what I just did was make them know they are at the bottom of the totem pole in the world and they aren’t at my level. No I am not some geeky looking guy, quite the opposite. Probably why it throws them off as they would think I am just some good looking guy with a low paying job. It makes me laugh though as I hate it when women ask such stupid questions to a man. If they ask you a question like this, treat them like dirt, they deserve it for asking such a superficial question. Listen up guys, there are many women in the world, so remember that.

  • Anonymous

    I’m a hospital cleaner, I hate telling people what I do, any advice?

    It isn’t a career, I’m 18 years old and just doing it for money until I find out what to do with my life.

  • Rob

    Her: so what do you do for a living?

    Me: A man’s work is his pride and honour, much like the size of his family jewels. I usually don’t reveal those in public. I let you see, feel and judge for yourself.

  • mike

    years ago at a happy hour was having a convo with nice looking american girl she asks what do you do i say i am a carpenter her face goes from 60 to 0 fast and says to me that is soooooo blue collar i say well next time you go home remember a carpenter built your home and the table you eat at everyday then went home with her friend who then served me herself on the table that a carpenter built

  • http://www.thechestcoachreview.com Michael

    I strongly agree with this post. Especially for college interns/graduates, thousands upon thousands of dudes work doing the EXACT same job. The job titles are nearly if not exactly identical. As soon as you answer with the same boring job title as every other guy, you just become a number.

    I like the way you scripted the “world-class clay potter” Roosh lol. That’s a genius way of doing it.

    Barney Stintson is a master of this!