How To Warm Up Before Approaching Women

Let’s say you sit in front of a computer all day without talking to anyone. Then at 6pm, I ask you to go to a happy hour with a few opportunities to talk to women. How will your first couple of approaches go? Well, it’s likely you won’t even do an approach. Your mind will not be primed for social interaction because the testosterone draining effects of computer work put your dick to sleep. You’ll come up with fancy excuses to not even try, like waiting until the weekend.

Now let’s say you did a different routine. You lifted weights in the morning, setting a personal record on the bench. At lunch time, you went to Barnes & Noble and picked up a magazine with bikini babes, giving you a 25% boner. You then did two approaches that went okay but didn’t result in a number. Once back at work, you had a five minute chat with the slutty HR gal, catching glimpses of her cleavage. At your desk you took breaks every 30 minutes to explore deep fantasies of sex. Then as soon as you got off work, you called a friend and talked about the approaches you did at lunch.

If you were to hit that happy hour now, do you think things would be different?

In Lublin, Poland there was a club with a ladies night on Wednesday. This is how I prepared for it:

  • I nurtured my morning boner by thinking of girls I’ve had sex with in the past, but I didn’t masturbate.
  • I forced myself to do my one approach of the day.
  • I went to the coffee shop in the mall that is right next to a popular clothing store for teenage girls. I got a seat where I had a clear view of all the female clientele.
  • I stared, lustfully, at the pretty girls coming and going.
  • I did an additional approach after coffee shop time.
  • I hit the gym and leered at girls wearing tight aerobic clothing.

When I went to the ladies night club after doing all this, my balls were ready to explode, even when rolling solo. My dick was my wingman. Sometimes my very first approach hit.

Consider an approach session to be a symphony that starts when you wake. The warmup gets you ready, the actual approaches are the climax of the movement, and finally your results (number, kiss, or bang) bring you back down to a hopefully satisfied mood. If the game starts with your first approach, then your warmup is garbage. You’ll be rusty with weak desire.

You know you’re doing it right when there is almost no anxiety when you start with the actual approaches. In fact, the approach is just a drop in the bucket within the entire process. It’s what you did before that first approach that will determine the bulk of your success.

Read Next: Going Out Alone

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  • Uri Katsav

    Watch an episode of Dr. House before going out. It gets you in the asshole mood hot girls love.

  • http://www.gavinmadden.blogspot.com.au Gavin Madden

    Is this an old post, Roosh? I felt as if i’ve read this before.

  • Bill

    I just go outside and women come to me. Us alpha males got it like that.

  • nombre

    Yeah this is old, but frankly you could’ve taken a hiatus after ‘Patricia’s Phone’; that was excellent.

    I completely agree with the content nonetheless. Working the body and voice (singing exercises) are main components of most days for me, and I hardily concur with actively seeking out female stimulation to get the dick moving a bit for later hookups.

  • Spanky

    This is the mans version of building “responsive desire”

  • Dank

    I’ve noticed doing one approach a day will automatically warm you up for the subsiquent approaches. It usually feels like, “Naw i aintgoing down like that” and the next approach will hit the mark. Another strategy I use to warm up is to ask people for the time or directions to somewhere I already know. Ill start with average girls and after a few, I’m calibrated to kill their momentum and display nonchalant confidence with the next girl that really catches my eye.

  • Anonymous

    “my dick was my wingman”

    Indeed, I’ve noticed that the little guy is only wingman who’ll consistently get you laid

  • Strickland

    Very good tips. What I usually do in case, for any particular reason, I can not leave home during that day, I start my warmup in the venue talking initially to girls I’m not interested to. As I’m not interested, I act more natural and gets more confidence as well. After small talks with two uninteresting girls, I’m feeling already in the right mood. Try it as a second option.

  • Anonymous

    This sounds similar to a previous article u wrote.
    Hows that book u writin commin along

  • Anonymous

    When I was younger I knew people in the film business and would sometimes just watch the filming. It was very boring and tedious on the set. The actors would generally just relax alone and looked like they were half asleep and didn’t talk to anyone. When their scene was all set up and the final makeup etc was put on they would go to their spot and when the director yelled quiet on the set and then action they came alive and went into action. That’s how you need to be. Don’t waste energy beforehand and know what you need to do.

  • Phil

    A new t-shirt for the Roosh store:

    “My dick is my wingman.”

    You’re welcome.

  • Carlos

    My dick is my wingman. YEAH!!

  • Anonymous

    Meanwhile im here like a scardycat too afraid to approach one girl who I absolutely need to bang.

    Roosh, somebody, give me strength. For some time now I’ve had thought about getting this bitches number and fucking her but I simply cannot find the courage to simply ask “can I have you number”. It’s pathetic. I remember two occasions now where I was waiting spitting distance of the ho but just walked past instead of approaching.

    I have 4 days left before I never see this girl again(unless I get the number) I cannot fail, I’m tired of failing.

  • Harry A. Nuss

    my wang is my wingman

  • Harry A. Nuss

    hey anon, find an indirect opener/observation, segway into joke, haha we’re having good time, i have to go but whats your number we should continue this later blah blah blah. you could go direct but from what you’re saying it sounds are preoccupied with her pedestal position so you will fumble your script, so go from the angle and disarm and charm and close.

  • Anonymous

    Try that again, in English.

  • Anonymous

    @13- there’s no NEED to have to bang one particular female and only a fool craves the one thing he doesn’t have.I’ve only banged what you would consider 9′s and 10′s in my life but can tell you that you grow immune to what they look like very quickly and after you’ve shagged them a few times.Men want variety which is why you’ll see some guy who has beautiful women shag some average looking girl.In fact, some average slim young girl is just as good for shagging purposes so I find it amazing that you boys just can’t go out and easily get one without going through all of this bullshit.Most of you sound pretty clueless to me so perhaps you should buy Roosh’s books.Females think about sex and how they look all of the time and any interaction that you have with them is always sexual.
    You need practise and a Frenchmen with a long nose to give you advice on what to say lol

  • Lehtair

    I love this post. roosh adds a pleasant dose of common sense that can be hard to find in the PUA community. simple and no nonsense advice that is immediately applicable

  • Lehtair

    “Your mind will not be primed for social interaction because the testosterone draining effects of computer work put your dick to sleep.”

    This is very true. I find myself letting cues from women go unanswered instead capitalizing on them when I’ve been too cerebral that day.

    Being conditioned to work is one of the biggest hurdles a 9-5 guy faces on his journey to evolve into a playboy.

    I found the desire to game has a direct relationship with how much energy you currently have in that moment. The frequent testosterone draining work of today is an energy drainer.

    What I do is take breaks while working and use this break time for warming up.

    If I haven’t been pre-gaming that day, I’ll even talk to random guys just to get my social momentum going before doing the approach.

  • Anonymous

    Everything’s fine but.. Lublin? seriously? from my experience it’s even worst than Katowice.

  • anon

    Roosh…. don’t you feel that this makes the entire focus of the day about sex ?

    For someone like myself, who does work on the PC a lot, and does need to get out and have more social interaction… I could do with a little regime like this…

    However, I am not a well known author that’s made his career out of doing this.

    I’m also not a cubical rat, with no ambition, just trying to kill my day and pad my misery with hookups….

    For many men, the focus of their day is not sex. Men actually derive far more satisfaction from meeting real challenges and succeeding, largely by making money.

    A person can say they are not motivated by money, but people who say they don’t care about money have never made enough to appreciate the finer things in life, and have misunderstood money’s value as a measure of success.

    There is little money to be made in sexing young girls (unless you write books about it.) Running this strategy is likely to become a huge distraction and end up as a full time work.

    However… sexing young girls will give any guy lots of drive and motivation for his real life work and ambition.

    So the trick in here is for guys like myself to find that balance, that middle path.

  • http://scartissue.us Wald

    My wing-wang is my wingman.

  • Anonymous

    Roosh you are a geek, u need to prepare for the night to hit on a girl?? That seems so lame from you that makes me doubt of all the stories you tell, it seems that you don’t get laid that often…

  • prepman

    Athletes, musicians, singers, performers etc would consider it essential and very smart to WARM UP! It’s gets the blood flowing, the mind working and restarts all the mental and emotional circuitry to work optimally. I don’t see why it’s any different here.

    Sure you can hit cold approaching cold, but why? You may not need an all-day marathon warmup, but something to get the juices flowing helps my game remarkably.

    When we approach, we’re on stage. It’s best to have our mojo working smoothly before we start hitting worth targets. While I may not do all the things Roosh does, I do some. And since attitude and verbal skills are most important once you lunch the approach, that’s where I focus my warm up. Part of that is the pre-drink warmup and listening to some tunes that get my blood pumping. I’m suiting up for battle and getting into the fray. I wanna be a bad ass mofo even if my game is to come across as the most interesting man in the world.

    Talk to the 5′s and 6′s, but also warm up on some 7′s and 8′s. Who know, you may just find you’re rockign with the first approach. After that, just keep it going. I also chat up some of their dates, boyfriends, and even husbands (just did it last night with a cute newly-married latina 7.5). That helps me to deal with any reservations of approaching where there’s another male, and it demonstrates to the rest of the bar/club that I ain’t afraid of no AMOG’s. The bigger and more Alpha looking, the better. You can never judge by appearances who’s alpha anyway until you get in their space and start talking. Some of the most alpha guys I’ve met were mean little runts, while some of the biggest, baddest looking dudes were teddy bears who appreciated my company and actually bought me drink! LOl

    I do better when I warm up than when I don’t. Just find what works for you. And stop wanking-off. That’s a testosterone attenuater and just takes the winds out of your sails.

  • Anonymous

    You can never judge by appearances who’s alpha anyway until you get in their space and start talking

    You can almost always tell by appearance if you know how to read the subtle cues. And no one who goes to these typical clubs is ever an alpha.

  • John Rambo

    71% of young men in America do not want to get married:
    http://www.pewresearch.org/daily-number/young-men-and-women-differ-on-the-importance-of-a-successful-marriage/

    Looks like feminism succeeded in destroying marriage. Now men refuse to get married.

    I hope all of you ladies have fun growing old alone with your ten cats.

  • ladykillah

    why don’t your quit this lifestyle and go do something useful for humanity?

  • prepman

    Ha! Do something useful for humanity? What the fuck for?

    It’s a dog-eat-dog world. Everyone is out for their own self-interest. Sure, you can point out a very exceptionally rare examples of self-denial where some individual actually made a difference to/for others. But we are still living on a planet where humans haven’t evolved far beyond the hunter-gatherer caveman mentality. We just over our true hideous natures with a white-wash of societal rules with a thin veneer of culture to rationalize our ascent to some higher plateau of human existence.

    This lifestyle is about recognizing these truths and getting yours, and not falling into the trap that playing by societies rules will get you the results you desire.

  • Mark Minter

    OK, I know this is getting old from me. I sort of sound like a broken record here.

    If you study the endocrine system, what you will see is that every action specified on the list of Roosh gives, from lifting weights, to creating the expectation of sexual activity, to creating sexual tension, and including the approaches during the day, are all actions that produce or indirectly produce Testosterone.

    While some comments may pan this piece as redundant or a repeat of previously divulged information, in no way it is possible to overestimate or overemphasize the importance of (A) Testosterone (B) Activities that produce Testosterone (C) things that contribute to the Winner Effect, that spike of Testosterone that is produced after a victory, any victory, no matter how small, that lead to subsequent success and more wins and victories.

    Remember this single important fact. Social competence, and therefore reproductive success, is a function of personality. And personality is a function of hormones, and also, most important, personality is plastic, and will change, and can improve, with any hormonal changes that occur in the body, for better or for worse.

    So what this piece stresses, and what is a repeating theme in posts from this writer, is that actions that produce Testosterone, are key to social success, in all forms.

    Sorry to beat a dead horse, but the number one example this writer provides is the transformation in a man that can occur by undertaking actions that produce, increase, and maintain the level of Testosterone, and the reproductive, social, and even professional success that will follow if you do.

  • Reaper23

    Like most topics in the manosphere people are acting like this viewpoint on testosterone is somehow new or novel. It simply isn’t. So can we stop acting like we’ve discovered America here? Lets give credit where it is due and acknowledge that the manosphere is slow on the uptake but has eventually gotten it right.

  • ken

    I used to be a swinger but I am not any more. I read these blogs for nostalgia I guess. I am a member of the Presbyterian Church and I sometimes visit a Methodist Church near my lake house. These churches are full of people who are getting married and making babies, more than you can imagine. Western Civilization is not dying. It is just being re-born in different places.

  • v

    It’s been my concern in the past few weeks. Thanks for this. I have a geeky job. when I plan to go out I try to be more talkative and playful with colleagues at work.just cracking some jokes and stuff whenever I get a chance.it helps but still sucks. Good for sales people, they must be in pickup mood all day long!

  • Anonymous

    So what this piece stresses, and what is a repeating theme in posts from this writer, is that actions that produce Testosterone, are key to social success, in all forms.

    But you can’t produce higher levels of T anymore than you can change thyroid levels.Sure, you can do it artificially but then you body will turn off its natural T production to maintain homoeostasis.The actual level of T means very little anyway since there is a normal range and every man’s body handles it differently.T may be measured on a lab scale of 200-800 but this does not mean that a reading of 800 makes a man more masculine or potent than a man with a 200. It’s merely a normal range.
    It’s all relative to what your individual normal reading may be. If your norm was say 500 and by introducing more T artificially and you got it to 600 you would notice a difference temporarily because that it not the norm for your body but it would be short lived and the side effects may be bad.Nothing that you can do naturally is going to change T levels in a healthy person anymore than you can change thyroid or insulin/sugar balances.
    Even in cases of hypogonadism it’s very difficult to get the right normal balance back just using T and is generally treated with HCG to stimulate the body into producing its own.And that’s just to get it to what your norm was.
    It’s true that as you age T levels decrease but it’s very gradual and your body adjusts to the new norm.And btw, teen boys do not have higher levels of T than grown men despite their horniness so your sex drive and feeling of well being isn’t as simple as your T level.

  • http://redpillmtl.wordpress.com redpillmtl

    Your dick is your one true wingman. Sage-like wisdom

  • http://authenticgentleman.com/ Daniel

    Awesome post. Nothing like a self-imposed sexual ban with intense exercise and hot women peppered throughout the day to really up the ante. =D

  • ladykillah

    ”It’s a dog-eat-dog world.” you must have a sad life.

  • kkk
  • Anonymous

    Too pretty? lol But why work for 30k when your parents are giving you 2k a month tax free?

    This is all bullshit so stop reading the Daily Mail.
    I think I’ll make something up about being too handsome to work due to all of the harassment haha

  • Anonymous

    ” The Black Phillip Show” by Patrice O’Neil breaks down women’s true and how men can correct their behavior

  • http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCppoDrbRZ7xOv9c0HQpU6Vg Y

    TO ALL THE MEN OUT THEIR, WATCH THESE VIDEOS AND STOP FEEDING TO WOMEN EGOS. WOMEN JUST WANT ATTENTION NOTHING MORE OR LESS. WHEN YOU START TREATING WOMEN WHO ARE 10′s like 2′s THEY WILL GAIN SOME HUMILITY. MAKE THEM WORK FOR YOUR ATTENTION! BELIEVE ME IT WORKS. ITS TIME TO LET WOMEN WORK AND EARN SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySMVtRmQl1Y

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ahz7vWEPxeY

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TXmjfR4dqI

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIFmQHJEG1M

    MGTOW 4 LIFE!