I Have A Midland Accent

I’m fascinated by accents. I can’t get over how the way people speak is completely determined by their environment. If you were just born a few states down, your speech pace and pronunciation would be different. And you have no say in it: your parents chose for you when they picked where to raise you.

Americans forget that other foreigners see our accent as exotic as we see theirs. I’ve run into some foreign girls who have admitted that my accent is indeed hot. That did not include any British chicks though. The British see the American accent as a mangled, less proper version of their own. Fuck the British, I say. If you want to make a British person upset, ask them if they are Australian. (It’s kind of like how we get pissed if someone thinks we are Canadian.)

Anyway, I always tell foreigners that they should learn English from me since I have the generic accent that you’d hear on TV. This pronunciation quiz proves I wasn’t bullshiting:

[You have] the default, lowest-common-denominator American accent that newscasters try to imitate. Since it’s a neutral accent, just because you have a Midland accent doesn’t mean you’re from the Midland.

While I don’t care for the French culture, I have to say their accent arouses me the most, man or woman.

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