May of 2011 was an amazing month. I arrived in Poland with no expectations, eager to put two bad months of Denmark behind me. I was not ready for what was in store for me: bangable women everywhere who were fluent in English and had little attitude. Most importantly, they liked me. They liked my look, my humor, my conversation, my beard, my accent, and where I came from. On my third day I slept with a girl whose quality was top five of all women I’ve been with in my life. I called her “little egg” (jajeczko in Polish) because of what she cooked for me the morning after I slept with her.
Little Egg was beautiful, smart, sexy, optimistic, funny, and happy, a former punk kid who grew up faster than her peers, eventually settling into a fashion career. We had great chemistry so I always looked forward to talking and joking with her. I’ll always remember one night she showed up wearing a necklace that had a little gun. It made a click sound when you pulled the trigger. She shot me twice. I never met a girl who made me laugh as much as she did.
I kept Little Egg at arm’s length because I didn’t want to stop whoring. When I wasn’t with her I tried to fuck any Polish girl that could get my dick hard. I had one-night stands every night of the week except Sunday and Monday. Most of my conquests were college girls under 23 years old, nine years younger than me, and six years younger than Little Egg, the most mature and grounded of them all. I was living my dream, my dick was living its dream, and all was good in the world. I found my utopia.
It didn’t last long. Little Egg went cold on me after two months, suddenly busy when she wasn’t busy before. Was she tired of my reluctance to advance the relationship or did she meet someone else? I’ll never know. Summer arrived and all the students left, leaving the city a shell of its spring self. The pussy switch flicked to the off position. No more one-night stands and no more easy lays. My dream gradually turned into a nightmare. I lost the Polish magic.
During the summer I had to lower my standards for girls who were much harder to lay. Only in Washington DC did I have to work so hard for so little (hell, even summer in DC is better). I kept going like a good soldier until banging a nympho Polish girl who helped keep my testicles empty in those hard months. I enjoyed my time with her, but she was too shy and restrained. Besides, I didn’t want just one girl, I wanted all of them. I wanted a great girl on my arm while fucking young sluts on the side.
One day towards the end of September I walked to the grocery store and noticed girls all over the place. It seemed like a cargo ship had suddenly dumped a huge load of pussy on the streets. School had resumed. I wanted the spring back, I wanted the magic back, and was willing to do whatever it took to get it.
With school back in session, I went out on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights. I put in the work, at least 25 approaches, but there was little magic to be found. The clubs were filled with sausage. The young girls weren’t as extra horny like before. The magic must’ve been a one shot deal, I thought, so better ramp up the day game to at least get some dates going. I figured that in May I came at the right time with the right energy, leading to a great epoch of my life that could never be duplicated. You never see it coming, you only see it go.
I went out on Saturday night, the first of October, tired and dejected. I hadn’t been laid in two weeks. Expecting failure, I planned on doing five daily approaches at the mall starting on Monday to re-build a pipeline that was bone dry after burning the bridge with my summer fling.
At the club I sat down away from the action, something I never do. I told myself I’d get up when I saw something decent. It took half an hour for that girl to arrive. She was alone, wearing tight jeans, high heels, and a simple black top that revealed a nice curve in her lower back. She had long brown hair and bangs. She was a 7.5, no more and no less, with a petite body type that satisfied my perverse elephant-on-kitten sex desire. Still, I didn’t want to get up. I started making excuses why the approach would not go well, and remained seated.
Five minutes later she was still at the bar, just standing there. My excuses fizzled in the face of a good opportunity. I pulled myself up and moved my legs until I was right next to her. I tapped her on the shoulder and said, “You don’t look like you’re from here. You look like you’re from… Macedonia.” She had dark eyes and hair so it was plausible.
“I’m from Poland,” she said with a huge smile. “Why do you think I’m from Macedonia?”
She laughed at my jokes and complimented my appearance. She told me how badly she wants to visit America, particularly New York City. Within a few minutes she asked me what my astrology sign was, perhaps the biggest sign of interest a girl can give me without getting on her knees and blowing me right there. Over the next three hours I gradually increased the sexual tension as if playing with an oven thermostat. Light touches before heavy. Dancing a foot away before grinding up on her body. Gentle brushing of my lips against hers before driving my tongue in her mouth. You know a girl is ready when all you have to say is “Let’s go” for her to jump to attention and face the door, eager to leave with you.
In my apartment I made her a vodka drink that I knew would go untouched, the glass sweating all night. I leaned against my kitchen counter and pulled her body against mine. She took off her shirt, I unbuttoned her jeans, and she did the rest. I stared at absolute perfection: 100 pounds, C cup breasts, a round ass that would please any black man. She took of my clothes, bending down to get my jeans off. I unsnapped her bra and pulled down her wet panties. Roosh, get a condom. She stroked my dick with her hand and I put it between her legs, her bald pussy. Roosh, get a condom, it’s in your back jean pocket. I felt her juices leap onto my dick, smothering it with lubrication. Roosh, get the fucking condom. I turned her around, still leaning against the counter, and pushed her down. Stop Roosh you dirty motherfucker! The shape of her body was flawless. All I wanted in that moment was to be inside her. My inner monologue went quiet.
I went straight to raw dog, my dick going in smooth like butter. My eyes rolled in the back of my head and my head tilted up to the ceiling. For twenty seconds I felt paralyzed with pleasure, unable to move. She didn’t mind doing the work, holding onto the couch for balance to fuck me in and out, her moans getting louder. I regained focus and gave her the best dick I could, in the kitchen, against the couch, against the window with a view facing the entire city, and finally on my bed, her pussy juice leaving a crumb trail throughout my apartment. I pulled out right in time and ejaculated a liter of cum all over her body, shooting up to her neck.
We fucked again and again and again. I instructed her to talk dirty in Polish and she obliged as I fucked faster and harder. I had no idea what she was saying but I assure you it sounded sexy. Even Vietnamese would have sounded sexy at that point. After three nuts I knew it would be impossible for me to cum again, but I couldn’t stop. I was a mindless fuck zombie with no other function in life but to pump that poor girl’s pussy. Even sleep wasn’t required, only fuck.
I started getting angry that she was able to handle so much dick, so I fucked her as violently as I possibly could to tire her out, as if trying to lose her in a sprint, choking her and yanking on her hair, but I only fatigued myself in the process. “I need a time out,” I’d say, pulling out slowly. She’d cuddle next to me while I caught glances of my raw dick, wondering how much more it could take. After a twenty minute breather I’d wake her up and fuck some more. My dick was inside her for over two hours by the time she left the next afternoon.
Four nights later I brought home another girl. She had the same petite and thin dimensions, a body that I’d be lucky to experience even once a year in my own country. The sex wasn’t as good, especially since I was mindful enough to use condoms, but it was good enough.
October was turning out to be even better than May, but something felt off. Was magic simply fucking a lot of girls, or do you need something more, like having a Little Egg on your arm to balance it all out? I wasn’t sure, because I didn’t want to be sure. I wasn’t ready to examine the purpose of my current existence, to accept that my pursuit of the easiest sex possible may have costs that are decreasing my happiness.
Sometimes your subconscious decides for you. As if just out of curiosity, I started to casually research flights out of Poland.
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“Elephant-on-kitten” is the best thing I’ve read all month.
I have a place in Sopot (Gdynia/Trójmiasto) — basically a University and spa set of 3 towns. I can verify that Polish women DO get hot and cold in unison; I’ve been going there since my father told me at 15 to go to Europe and compare those women to the Americans. The man was (and still is) right.
Spring time is a huge horniness bomb going off, always. The clubs get packed, the art street fairs get packed, the ladies are out to play, to burn off a cold winter.
Fall gets warm, not hot, because the gals want to settle down.
I live in Chicago, one of the largest populations of Polish women in the world, but alas they’re Americanized and useless. Still, they follow the exact same rhythm as back home.
Get out of Northern Europe. If not Europe period. And don’t come back until spring, the winters hear are depressing. But you know this.
It’ll be interesting to see what place you pick next though. I’m hoping you’ll go to (SE) Asia to get your take on the continent.
“Mindless fuck zombie”
Easy, fast pussy gets old. There’s a reason why white dudes with yellow fever leave the Phillipines after a couple months of non stop fucking. Boredom smothers you slowly. Man wants meaning, struggle, danger, play.Go out to new lands and seek novel experiences, young Roosh. Suffer your hardships with a smile, giving it an artistic flourish.
liking the drake quote there
“you never see it coming you just get to see it go” really does describe when a chick your into just vanishes
“a round ass that would please any black man”
I would imagine that Little Egg heard about you from a friend of a friend or something. If you were fucking as many different girls as you say, and I have no reason not to believe you, it’s possible. Women talk. Is this the risk of having wild “success” in a smaller city? And a woman like her–not a girl, that sounds like a real woman you had there–will let you go quietly rather than engage in drama, even when she’s really hurt. She was old enough to know that a dramatic confrontation with some American expat playboy wouldn’t do any good, wouldn’t make her feel any better. Maybe she had too much pride.
That’s just my theory.
Maybe the locals stole the Polish Magic back from you after they realized you were slaying all of their women.
I love your quote. “after they realized you were slaying all of their women.”
Overwinter and do reconnaissance in Greece. It´s cheap now, and it might be interesting.
“My dick was inside her for over two hours by the time she left the next afternoon.”
Using Roosh’s average fuck times, that means he must have had sex with her over 60 times.
Little Egg? How sweet.
Who knew you were a romantic.
Rooshie fell in love but failed to recognize it. L.O.S.E.R.
Roosh, call your old buddy Virgle Kent for advice. I think you know he has a certain perspective on the philosophy of phree phucking.
I like it when you do posts that detail your experiences.
It gives us more perspective and insight into the places / girls.
I think having an Egg is key ;)
summer sucks, and the beginning of fall sucks.. it takes a little while for their heads to start deflating. best time is feb.
From back in the days when I was reading about human ethology, it sounds like sex has become an open drive for you.
That is, it’s not a need that can be met like it is for most people (or like food or shelter is for you) but one that can never be filled (and the attempts bring less and less satisfaction).
In other words sexual relationships (whether one night or a couple of months) don’t bring you any more satisfaction than a new pair of shoes did for Imelda Marcos.
at the end of all of this, you could launch a line of men’s fragrances:
“Explosión por Roosh” (bang by Roosh)
“Explosión de Día” (day bang by roosh)
I can barely see because my eyes are watering from laughing so hard! There’s almost always that dilemma – the same steady girl, or hunting down new girls. Having both is the ideal, but can be tiring to pull off. So Roosh…if Ms. Macedonia was a 7.5 in the club, what was the upgrade when you got her back to the crib and got the clothes off?
@ 18 The Glee Manifesto…Marc Jacobs already has a cologne out called “Bang.” We don’t want to see Roosh get sued!
It’s surprising you didn’t leave Poland during the summer.
Mastering your sexual destiny is a necessary step in the optimal realization of your most basic biological life purpose. It’s just time for the next thing, possibly.
“I lost the Polish Magic”
There’s a deft Polish joke in there, somewhere. Sadly, I am neither deft nor Polish.
Are you going to go for those free airline tickets to Japan?
The subconscious takes over much faster if you go for a while without a wank. Makes a hyoooooge difference
Wasn’t there supposed to be a podcast yesterday?
I’m so jealous of you, you bastard
“Man, you been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long. I am the eggman, they are the eggmen. I am the walrus”
Polish girls can go on forever, they are a rare breed indeed.
You should write sex lit..this had good detail
I hope you find a deep and fulfilling happiness wherever you go Roosh!
Question: Is this a “normal” thing for hottish chicks (7+) to go to Polish Bars on their own?
My best guess is jajeczko simply decided there was no future with you and cut off contact. Or, alternately, she decided to test if there was a future by going cold and seeing how you’d react. As it turns out, she didn’t really mean anything to you so she decided to go on with her life.
Polish people aren’t afraid of confrontations and if she’d found out about the cheating (and if she cared) she would definitely let you know.
Do you ever think about staying in a long term relationship with someone like “little egg”? Does she bring enough to the table that you could be personally satisfied without fucking other chicks?
I think you are having a good problem to have, so much pussy and getting tired of it :-)
Bangs are great and all. But constant desire for the strange interferes with the ability to build something meaningful with a woman. Ultimately it’s an empty pursuit.
I speak from experience.
Still trying to kick the habit.
Practical Pickup has a great article on the ‘paradox of abundance’. The more we are able to get, the less we’re interested in holding.
@Moses. That little pervert Woody Allen once said, “Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but, as meaningless experiences go, it’s one of the best.”
The opposite of oneitis is noneitis, the inability to truly value another person in a relationship.
In the short term it’s a lot more fun than oneitis but the longterm prospects aren’t really much better.
“If supply increases and demand remains unchanged, then it leads to lower equilibrium price and higher quantity”
great keynesian remark!
if all the time you’ve spent in poland has been in poznan, there’s a not insignificant chance you and i are eskimo brothers
anyways, i’ve read most of ‘day bang’ and am impressed so far… even tried some material and gotten results. i still need more to get more approaches and experience in though
Roosh – If you go farther east into Europe, just be aware that you need to be much more aware of your physical safety when you are doing night game in some places. Not guys getting rough w/you for hitting on their girl fear for you safety – just flat out attacking you for being a foreigner with potential money.
A good friend of mine went clubbing in St. Petersburg after living there for a year and being fluent in Russian and got mugged so badly they broke his jaw. 2 weeks ago we celebrated the end of his painful 7 year recovery from the injury. He’s a 6’5″ former college baseball pitcher who grew up Irish-Catholic in a rough part of Connecticut and knows how to carry himself in a fight. While this is the only first hand account I’ve ever heard about the real perils of going deeper into eastern europe searching for girls, I’ve read plenty of 2nd and 3rd hand accounts to make me think his experience wasn’t an isolated incident.
I apologize for my previous behavior, but this site has been life changing. Don’t want to lose you. Have fun but be careful.
There is no Little Egg is there?
It’s all just stuff for your book to add a little emotion in order to make it all readable. To make the readers connect more instead of just a soulless how to sex manual. Not to mention it adds the never-ending cliffhanger “Will Roosh Settle down?”
I wish it was real Roosh, but I know it’s just for sales.
[Roosh: Sorry to ruin your fantasy but Little Egg is very real. Also, this isn't a book, it's a blog.]
Any tips on fucking stamina/style?
Damn that’s a great article.
“Even sleep wasn’t required, only fuck”….
so now it’s upside down:
“Even fuck wasn’t required, only sleep”…. ? ;)
Roosh, have you considered going to hungary?
Alot of their women are erm.. actresses.. if you catch my drift
“. . . my pursuit of the easiest sex possible may have costs that are decreasing my happiness.”
I could have been stewarding this conversation in your forum for the last few weeks. You guys are shining paragons of good manners and behavior when it comes to things you’re not interested in hearing. Anyone who has observed me as a commenter knows I lack naive, simple rage against the idea of getting laid–I’m living this stuff too–but when things get pathetically shallow and empty maybe you want to have someone around who will observe the spade for what it is.
We ought to unfuck ourselves and become men, not merely the shiniest dicks on the unreflective dick carousel.
Hey Rosh great story!!
What city were u in poland?
I read about Warsaw i’ve never been in poland but after reading your stories poland it’s on my list hehehe i was in miami a couple months ago and it went perfect eventho it wasnt the best time of the year anyway i was wondering what city were u?
“Outfits that make you wonder if she’s trying out for a position in the circus”
LOL, you got that right. I can’t get into hipster chicks. Not only do I hate nails chewed to the numb with sore-looking hangnails leftover, but I can’t stand tattoos. A single small one I can ignore, but tramp stamps and especially the tribal tatoos around the arm just scream of desperation, conformity, and insecurity.
[...] Hockey Player frame combined to be a perfect combination. I believe Roosh has called this ‘elephant-on-kitten’. An apt way to put it to be sure, and shows why Roosh is such a fine writer. I think I will call [...]
When the gods seek to destroy us most completely, they give us what we want.
I am arriving in Poland in the end of June.
There’s the Euro 2012 thing, which is also in Ukraine.. but I can stay up until the end of August in the area.
Based on what you said, the student girls aren’t in Poland, nor as hot, during summer months. Not to mention that they’ll be desensitized by the Euro 2012 tourists. Should I even bother go there, or perhaps Bulgaria/Romania/Hungaria/Estonia/Latvia are better places?
Roosh, I thought I give you headsup but Dees and that mentally bankrupt SPLC claim their tracking you. They claimed they scammed over a $160 thosand and maybe now their looking for another law suit. john
should’ve stayed with Little Egg :(