I Think, Therefore I’m Erect

My libido, as I enter my mid 30s, is not as strong as it once was. While still robust, I find it easier to talk myself out of bangs and go longer periods without sex. I figured this was a normal result of aging that, beyond working on diet and exercise, fell largely outside of my control.

Another factor that contributed to my decreasing libido was penile desensitization. Indiscriminately banging so many different women for so long means I receive less pleasure from new bangs. It became easier for me to stay home on a weekend night knowing that I wasn’t missing out on something I haven’t experienced many times before.

The months went by and I gradually accepted this change, but then I began to wonder. In Chisinau I partied with two Brazilian guys, one of whom was in his late 40′s. He had twice as much energy as me. He danced, approached, and drank all night. It’s possible he was the oldest guy in the club, but he didn’t have problems receiving affections from young women. Later, in Odessa, I met two guys who were chasing poon nearly every night, and they were about the same age as me. Why was I less motivated than them?

We like to think that testosterone levels are dependent on genetics or environment, but I asked myself if there is a mental component as well. Could testosterone production ramp up or down depending on how you think? I believe the answer is yes.

In unfavorable sexual environments, where you resign yourself to less sex, your body will produce less testosterone as a self-protection mechanism. If getting laid is difficult but your body has ramped up T production in the anticipation of penetrating a real vagina, its efforts will have been in vain when that sex doesn’t occur. Once your body no longer expects easy, random sex, it decreases your T concentration to a level that is not optimal for the challenging endeavor of hunting women. This is why getting laid multiple times a week keeps your T sky high—your body knows that sex is upcoming. Without that expectation, I hypothesize that your body diverts resources away from T production into foraging or intellectually-heavy tasks like mathematics and philosophy.

Whenever I enter a new city with beautiful women, before the local sex economy is made apparent to me, I’m essentially a walking boner. Once my first few experiences tell me that actual labor is required to lay the women, my daily boners subside. Why should my body continue pumping out T if it can’t see a pretty girl and engage in immediate reproductive activity with her? My horniness falls back to a basal state that, while biologically sound, doesn’t exactly make me animalistic. While environmental chemicals can reduce T levels, a man’s body is not going to pump it out if he’s surrounded by unattractive women who are not easy to lay. It’s possible that being surrounded by unattractive women alone is just as damaging to your T levels as soy milk (good luck finding a university to explore that notion).

I decided to do a simple experiment on myself: nurture the boner. I usually wake up with morning wood, not thinking twice about it, but I started to hold the boner by reliving a sex memory with a girl in my past while humping my pillow. Later, when walking outside, instead of looking at a pretty girl and imagining the long process of getting her to my bed, I’d try to imagine her naked, completely forgetting about any difficulty it would be to lay her, no matter how unrealistic. Within a week, without any changes to my diet or weightlifting routine, my dick was acting five years younger. I was once again achieving random boners. My thinking influenced my horniess, and therefore my desire. Approaches were more effortless because my logical brain, which knows very well the difficulty in getting laid, was silenced in the face of the testosterone flood.

My renewed horniness demanded instant release, which meant I was being driven back to night game, where I had a higher chance of achieving near-instant sex. I thought I wrote off night game for good, but it took only three nights of going out for me to get my old game back, successfully convincing two girls to join me in my love den “for just a drink.” I realized that my horniness was as much mental as physical, and that I wasn’t entitled to wake up every day full of raw masculine desire. I had to incubate it with perverted thoughts and images.

Just like how you exercise your muscles at the gym or stimulate your mind with heavy reading, you have to work on your boner with horny meditation. Simply spend a few moments in the day to concentrate on sex to get your younger penis back. If you refuse to do this, don’t be surprised to find your horniness ebbing dangerously low. As soon as I got lazy and stopped nurturing my boner, my desire quickly decreased to a more flaccid level.

Read Next: The Boner Test

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  • george

    “Related Posts:
    Anna (Part 2)”


  • Lawrence Farnsworth

    I think there’s weight to the theory of unattractive women harming hormonal levels. Once I fled the UK and its awful maidens to live in Eastern Europe, my workouts suddenly became far more intense and effective. Weird.

    Small, pedantic point: soy actually doesn’t drop T levels at all. ( http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19524224 )

  • A True Gentleman

    When body and mind are congruent and aligned you will achieve what you want but when they are not aligned you may not get the same result. For any activity presence of body and mind is the key !

  • http://thecaptainpower.blogspot.com/ thecaptainpower

    There is nothing wrong with you physically, its just normal mid 30s anxiety/depression. I get it where im flaccid for 2 weeks then i get a 10 day long boner

  • Michael Drumel

    This is a very serious post :
    So your lifestyle is thinking about your dick all the time, and writting posts on how society keeps you from getting laid ? … This seems childish. Yes, it’s true that children have a lot fun, but a MAN needs CONTROL to feel happy. Something which you obviously NEVER can attain when dealing with women. I ‘m not talking about manning up the way women want you to, which is by cutting off your balls. I ‘m talking abnout manning up the manly way, which is by taking control of your life. You don’t seem to have control of your life, your finances (whatever you may say on the subject I find it hard to believe you re making money off of this), and the women you occasionally find.
    You are not relevant anymore. I have exceeded you. Thank you for what you ‘ve given me so far. … But why do you keep posting instead of fixing your life, instead of becoming a strong man ?

    I ‘m not buying anything from you.
    Most of the people here do not buy anything from you.
    Who DOES buy anything from you ? Lets see if any of the commenters buy anything from you … How do you support this lifestyle of not working at all ?
    Will you ever come clean about it ?

  • bariserkan

    do you have any scientific evidence to back up your theory ”In unfavorable sexual environments, where you resign yourself to less sex, your body will produce less testosterone as a self-protection mechanism.” ?

  • M

    LOL, funny article. But you surely made good points. I notice a decrease in my libido while i’m in hard-studying times. And you know, the mind have more control on the body that we imagine.

  • Tex Austin

    Maybe the waning you describe is to be welcomed rather resisted? Maybe of interest, from Plato’s Republic:

    “At these reunions most of us make lament, longing for the lost joys of youth and recalling to mind the pleasures of wine, women, and feasts, and other things thereto appertaining, and they repine in the belief that the greatest things have been taken from them and that then they lived well and now it is no life at all. And some of them complain of the indignities that friends and kinsmen put upon old age and thereto recite a doleful litany of all the miseries for which they blame old age. But in my opinion, Socrates, they do not put the blame on the real cause. For if it were the cause I too should have had the same experience so far as old age is concerned, and so would all others who have come to this time of life. But in fact I have ere now met with others who do not feel in this way, and in particular I remember hearing Sophocles the poet greeted by a fellow who asked, ‘How about your service of the goddess of sexual passion, Aphrodite, Sophocles—is your natural force in bed still unabated?’ And he replied, ‘Hush, man, most gladly have I escaped this thing you talk of, as if I had run away from a raging and savage beast of a despotic slavemaster.’ I thought it a good answer then and now I think so still more. For in very truth there comes to old age a great tranquillity in such matters and a blessed release.”

  • pup

    Married, 39 years old. Been seeing T levels and performance start to slide. Anxiety and depression have been on the increase. Finding it a challenge to live in the here and now, even with an attractive and willing wife in bed with me every night.

    I wake with wood, but can’t put it to use (have morning sex) with wife because of the CF that is getting ready in the morning with 3 little kids. My energy level is much lower in the evening, and I find it often results in a loss of bone power mid-session.

    I wonder if there is a similar solution for married guys who work in an office filled with 3′s and 4′s. Should I be attempting to “nurture the boner” during the day by thinking sexy thoughts, etc. in preparation for banging the missus at night? Oh, and WTF is the deal with “Kegels for men?”

  • Meaty Slut Bat

    Keep you tonsil tickler aka pelvic massager healthy and keep them coming back by doing the following:

    In order to get rock hard erections, place a wet towel at the end of your schlong, and lift the towel during erections, Proceed to heavier and heavier weight simply by soaking the towel with more water, Your arteries in your schlong can get blocked aswell if you havent had an INTENSE erection in a while, so force expand them by clamping the base of the schlong with mild pressure using your fist, it expands the tissue, do this while flexing the anal sphincter muscle, sucking in your asshole, pressurizes the schlong and unblocks the chambers, hold for 10 seconds and release 10 times a day, that is not even 2 minutes a day , your sperm shooter will blast off. I remember being with a girlfriend once and pulling out i was going to unload my jizz on her stomach but because i had been doing the towel exercises it accidentally shot all over her face instead and in her hair and mouth! She was some pissed off i tell ya, funny story and proof that it works! You will have mega orgasms with a strong base cock muscle.

    . Now to raise testosterone you need to lift heavy and eat enough, or sprint and take cold ass showers, im talking showers so cold you cant stand it for more than 10 mins, you’ll get a massive surge in growth hormone and testosterone. Supplement with tribulus terrestris and you will be a horny bastard. Tonsil tickler upkeep is part of game.

  • Roosh_V

    “I *hypothesize* that your body…”

    In the scientific process, a hypothesis is an educated guess that may lead to a new truth or discovery.

  • Who destroyed us

    Hindu indian way of life has become mainstream american way of life these days, corruption degeneracy and filthy values of hindus and jews are seen everywhere

    Shame USA is becoming sodom and gomorrah

  • Bob

    Hmm interesting. Great timing on the article, btw. I’ve been worrying about having a low libido lately

  • Blaximus

    Woah man….did u even read?
    Also, if you really, really want to go deep, ” control ” itself is an illusion.
    But if the illusion makes you ” haaapppyyy “, more power to you my friend. I just find it odd that a perswon with so much ” control ” in life would bother to rag on an article expressing an opinion.
    To bad you couldn’t control your emotional response.

  • http://www.thesaturdaycollection.com/ Gabriel Hernandez

    classic case of beliefs following actions – the more you do, the more your brain will think it is.

  • Magellan

    Lol… first time commenter, but I’ve bought multiple travel guides from Roosh before going abroad for the first time. I suspect many discover him (and the manosphere at large) in a similar fashion.

  • x

    In the US you are used to getting easy pussy because the women are easy so when you go to a country where getting pussy or ONSs is hard you see a hot woman and your dick thinks “oh, I’m about to bang this hot chick” but if that doesn’t happen often enough then of course over time the dick isn’t so sure it’s gonna get pussy anymore so it chills out.

    I’m sure that US guys think they’re better than EE guys because they get laid more often but actually that’s because the US women are the easiest. You wonder why EE guys aren’t approaching like maniacs… well one thing is that they are very used to hot women and apart from that not everybody is willing to deal with the bitchshields and resistance that women in some EE countries put up and to be constantly shot down. With enough time spent in the EE, the US guys’ momentum would die as well, but what can you say about the EE guys that spent their entire lifes there and are accustomed to the beauty but have had to deal with the difficulty all the time, of course they aren’t going to have much drive for picking up and would settle for LTRs.


    Another thing is cupping your balls and massaging them with a warm rag for ten minutes. Also, fantasizing while holding your balls and seeing how big they are increases testosterone. Another thing is a British made cock ring with some form of current in it used to treat low-T-its about $150 but it has rave reviews and you can wear it all day. Let me say if I’d known what I gulag real life was I’d stayed in college for undergrad for 8 years and gamed my ass off. Have fun while you can and beat the man if you can because he sucks mega ass.

  • PM Siesta

    Hey, I don’t normally comment, but chill out man! Especially your comment “Thank you for what you’ve given me so far….” That’s sounds like you’re a fucking lazy mooch, to just take value from Roosh and give nothing back. If you got some wisdom, then post that stuff. Anyway, sounds like Roosh is on the right track, how bout you?

  • Ronin

    Become a Homo Erectus

  • Humongous

    Roosh you should try rubbing Bengay or Vicks vaporub on your penis. Hope this helps.


  • Lodi Wadsmore

    As graphic as you can be (I’m that way too-I’ll talk about if I dribble or squirt when I cum).
    Quantify this for us-
    If your libido was like at 100% when you were 16 what is it like now?

    I’m 31 and want to know from you and other guys in their mid 30′s and up if you were at 100% when you were 15 or 16 or 18 what are you at now?
    Me-16 100% (wish game was around bcuz there were several opportunities I missed including a STACKED milf who looked like Lisa Ann-that was a loss! for sure)

    I’ll keep it real when I was 16 I HAD to jerk off at least 3-4xs/day and I’d cum so hard sometimes it’s be like I cracked an egg over myself-jizz everywhere. Now if I wait 2 weeks to jerk it I cum like a farm animal but I’d say I’m at 85% what I was and like to get off at least 1-2xs/day.

  • Willy Stroker

    Sound advice Humongous Bengay is great!

  • RealZombi3

    I’m glad to see that you wrote that it was a hypothesis. Too many people write their hypotheses as though they are pure fact nowadays. A nice read by the way.

  • Arirang

    “It’s possible that being surrounded by unattractive women alone is just as damaging to your T levels as soy milk (good luck finding a university to explore that notion).”

    No joke!

  • Arirang

    “Weight to the theory…” hahaha!

  • Ganesh is a total perv

    Typed while wearing a tinfoil hat

  • Lone Wolf

    Stopping cumming for a few months while still having sex everyday. This will explode your testosterone levels, ancient chinese wisdom. Also, mix a teaspoon of cayenne pepper in water, take it as a shot everyday. It may taste awful but the stuff works like viagra, you’ll be walking around with a fist between your legs. For tips on semen retention during sex, google “anal breathing Dr. Lin”. Basically you use your breath to circulate the sexual energy built up. After you go without cumming for 6 months or so, try to limit it to twice a month, make it a special occasion with your wife. I have done this for 5 years, can tell you first hand that it works, I ooze passion, inside and outside of the bedroom. Ive never felt better.

  • Special Delivery

    Stop watching porn and masturbating. The only way I orgasm now is in side a vagina.

  • Brad Turner

    shut up bitch

  • Awesome Possum

    I’ve bought all his eBooks, as well as the paperback “Bang Poland”.

    Sounds like you’re just a fag.

  • dj


    Wait until you get to your 40′s and 50′s then it will be even less. Allows me to be more picky about the women that I bang so not all bad.

  • Daniel

    Tons of people have respect and esteem for Roosh and Roosh’s work. Personally I bought his entire life work, and also his last book Smiley Face and I hardly remember I could ever get so much with so little, enjoying the reading and the good advices he gives, totally agreeing with his philosophy and view of life.

  • Shenpen

    So basically… you mean that for example a man with an old ugly wife and no mistress and thus very low sexual arousal and generally accepting this i.e. a man who does not care much about sex anymore cannot be dominant, masculine, challenging, competitive, tough, courageous because all these come from T and this lowers T? Is the “chaste hero” a contradiction in itself?

  • Marshallaw

    Was listening to the radio yesterday and guy in England has written a book about the benefits of alcohol! A half bottle of red wine a day will keep the old chap functioning well into your dotage… but beer with hops contain oestrogens which play hell with a hard on as well as having a hi GI. Wouldn’t you know it those pesky female hormones get in the way of a good time….. again….

  • Robert W

    Shenpen – haven’t you basically described the typical American marriage past 50?

  • Armchair General

    Too much talk about your dick roosh. (Had to put gay shield before proceeding)

  • Psychonaut

    The British like to drink. That is just how he justifies his alcoholism. Half bottle of wine a day is addiction. Alcohol is a poison.

    Try cannabis instead.

  • Derzu Uzala

    When your wife has a new born child, for instance, your testosterone levels decrease.

  • Derzu Uzala

    I find that in my case, being excited all the time is not healthy, unless release is expected. So if things chill down a bit, I do not worry and carry on.

  • Jeremy aka troublemagnet.

    Comments like that help keep the sheep in line, good job,useless eater, way to conform to the Illuminati programming.

  • anonymous

    Did your dominatrix let you out of your cage to type that?

  • J.M.

    Oh yeah, flooding known phytoestrogens into your body and anti-nutrients (that are wont to deplete you zinc levels) will not decrease your T-levels..cool story bro

  • dooodie

    “I started to hold the boner by reliving a sex memory with a girl in my past while humping my pillow”
    Didn’t know there was another pillow humper out there.

  • Lawrence Farnsworth

    I supplied data, you supplied broscience, bro.

    Soy phytoestrogens partially block the body’s estrogen receptors, thereby reducing the effects of natural estrogen. Essentially the complete opposite of what broscientists claim.

  • : fvaetha: el

    So, does that anti-religious, xenophobic drivel make you feel better?

  • seth datta

    UK women used to be really good looking. Less so these days, though I think its due to something in the water or food. They have gained weight and have manjaws more often. Biggest problem is the attitude though. Although it has improved, its not enough versus the EE beauties.

  • Fathercoughlin

    Or a black mans anus

  • Fathercoughlin

    the sight and smell of a black man’s anus is all I ned to get harder than a Civil War statue…

  • Fathercoughlin

    ‘specially if the newborns a nigger…

  • Special Delivery

    I won’t be able to get it up

  • EU guy

    Half a bottle of wine is about 4 small glasses. For a non drinker it will get him mildly drunk, the for the heavy drinker its nothing. It is not a big quantity but certainly it is not good to drink that everyday. Yet a glass of wine a day is good. Contrary to other types of alcohols, wine is a complex drink that includes many ingredients that if provided in moderate amounts (i.e. a glass a day) they ameliorate the heart rate as well as releasing chemicals that improve libido. It works for both men and women – i.e. best share the glass with the woman you want.

    Cannabis on the other hand is a very ”random” substance. It may lead the user into different ”paths” ranging from numbness/fuzzyness to a state of clarity and/or energy. Sometimes it helps libido sometimes it just kills it. Low consumption of cannabis (say 1-2 weekends per month, 1 cigarette) can be OK but few consumers remain to that – most take it to every week if not every day, consuming quite a large amount which has detrimental effects on health, libido included.

    Stick to the 1 glass of wine better. Cannabis will not make you a man.

  • Shenpen

    Dunno, I am Hungarian, not American. I had more in mind the medieval knight archetype – or the careerist man who is so absorbed in a goal that he forgets about the body. Especially if it is a more intellectual kind of goal where the body in comparison comes accross as dirty. The problem here is that if low sex drive equals low T, does it also mean low drive, low ambition, low dominance etc.?

  • E.K.

    Funny. First he writes this article about how he has to all but cajole himself into still craving sex with new women, and then he writes an article about how marriage is a poor proposition when viewed through the lens that sex with new women is a man’s primary concern. It’s almost as if he came *this close* to realizing that one can live a full, rewarding life that is oriented towards something other than sex, and then panicked that he might be becoming the kind of person he always derided. He says in the other post that without the hunt for new women, he is robbed of the motivation to be a better person, and he talks at length about the importance of self-improvement and self-development but always undercuts himself by making self-improvement always in the service of sex. But here he almost opens his eyes to see that self-improvement and the pursuit of satisfaction can be for its own sake and not to prop up a player’s career…and then starts humping his pillow. Better to be a horny dude humping his pillow in sexual frustration than a man motivated by something other than sex.

  • T

    I would suggest the opposite is true as well. You can deny your libido and ultimately repress your sexuality

  • Slobert

    when I lived in Colombia and wanted fruit juice, a lady at the fruit juice stand would have to squeeze it for me. There was no minute maid full of preservatives. When I wanted to talk to a friend I had to make one and throw myself out there. When I wanted to get away from the city I would climb rainforest mountains and not see people until I went back to the city and saw amazingly effeminate women and get soooo sprung. It was such a healthy life and now that I’m back in states im eating pizza to porn and my boners are soooo weak. It’s difficult to feel like a healthy primaly invigorated man in this country.