I was at a bar talking to a girl who kept bragging that she was a bitch, and quite literally: she repeated “I’m a bitch” several times when I questioned her abrasive attitude. It made me think back to this girl I met in Brazil, who was feminine and gentle and would be embarrassed to say something like that about herself. But this is America.
I don’t mind a challenge under the influence so I wanted to see if I could crack her candy-coated shell to get to the gooey lubricated center (I know, I’m reinforcing the behavior). Whenever you meet someone who has a shell, 99% of the time it’s because they have been hurt badly in the past, but since everyone has been hurt, why is it some people get colder as go through the human condition and others get more.. human? Well I think it’s because one group has a belief that pain is bad and you must do everything to avoid it, while the other sees value in all experiences, good and bad.
After I built rapport with this girl, I asked her why she’s so rough. I told her how much attractive she’d be if she’d be more like a gentle flower instead of a box of razors. Eventually it comes out that she has been hurt. Her eyes well up and I felt a moment. Most girls I meet are intolerable and I wouldn’t want to spend time with them outside the bedroom, but you get these moments from them where they are so vulnerable and sweet. Her shield collapsed and I felt like this was the real girl and I wanted to get to know her. There was a short kiss and I got her number.
I bump into her one hour later. It was obvious the moment was gone and I’d have to work to get it back, but it wasn’t worth it. She’s capable of being the type of girl I want, but I shouldn’t have to constantly dig to find the real person inside. Any girl in her 20’s should come pre-fabricated to livable specifications. I’m not a dog trainer. So I never called her.
Exactly one week later I met another girl, also young. She wasn’t a bitch but she had a shield up as well and referred to being jaded from “crash and burns,” which I took to mean “pumps and dumps.” “Twenty-two and jaded already?” I worked it like other girl and had a nice moment with the “real” or natural girl. Her sister, who was a bitch, became alarmed and dragged her away per the tired American female cockblocking ritual. One hour later I saw her, but the moment passed, and I didn’t bother.