I think we’re arriving to the point where girls, especially ones under the age of 25, are becoming reluctant and unable to pick up the phone to call a guy they feel positive but not crazy about. Even though text messaging costs more than sending data from the Hubble Telescope, our hyper-ADD and multi-task culture is becoming increasingly focused on meaningless bursts of communication focused around sentence fragments and abbreviations. This is especially jarring for guys like me approaching their 30′s who didn’t even send their first text message until two years ago.
It’s not too hard getting first dates now without even calling. I first did this in Argentina because of the language barrier but since then I’ve done it here too. For college kids this is common perhaps but for me it’s a revolutionary shift in game. It’s just surprising that a girl will go out with you when you put less effort into contacting her, yet the young ones actually prefer you text. In fact I’ve met quite a few girls who tell me specifically that texting is the best way to contact him. Our parents generation will be the last to have written love letters to share in semi-tearful moments some thirty years later.
A good way to get someone to commit is to make someone invest time and energy into you. This is why you meet some girls and they start asking you for little favors. I think they do this unconsciously—perhaps it’s genetic—but there is that escalating ladder of favors until next thing you’re at Zales buying her diamond earrings. To their unfortunate detriment women are now making it easier for guys to fuck them without putting in this crucial investment. I’m shaking my head at how they continue to dig their own spinster grave (Sex and the City movie is coming out soon!), but this is great for guys like myself who just want hot sex. I can only smile when I blast the same message on Monday to multiple girls I just met and get responses trickling in for just ten seconds of work.
There is still a need to have phone skills, but possibly not as much in the past. The end goal for guys is to find the easiest yet most efficient way to get girls out. I need to experiment a little more, but my hypothesis is it will depend on the girl’s age and the breeziness of your text message style.Tweet Follow @rooshv
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This is one of my favorite topics; texting is a double edged sword. It has removed the last shred of romanticism from dating. For the phone averse (like me), it is nice, because you are not stuck making uncomfortable small talk. Yet, it can also be the tool of pussies. Guys can text you for a second date, instead of calling, which lessens the blow of rejection. It really can take out an element of human interaction. I once dated a guy for 6 months and realized 4 months in I had never talked to him on the phone. The there is the drunk texting, angry texting, 4 am “wanna fuck?” texting…
Lemmonex’s last blog post: I Have Seen the Depths of Hell.
one of the good things about texting is that the detachment involved in it allows a person to say things they wouldn’t otherwise say on the phone…ie to be more sexually aggressive
i have a related post on this subject coming up. basically, even for the older women (28+) texting is the preferred method of contact. no one calls anymore.
roissy’s last blog post: May 2008 Comment Winner.
wow — texting is preferred by women… why? it seems so gutless
oh, and an argument can be made that texting is replacing calling because a phone call is more unnatural than texting. humans still have the hindbrains that respond best to face-to-face conversation. the phone completely shredded this natural inclination by having our voices connect minus the faces. texting returns us to a time when letters were written back and forth when face-to-face interaction was impossible. sure, it’s abbreviated sentences and emoticons, but that’s a step closer to old-fashioned letter writing than the phone.
so in a sense texting is bringing us back to our more comfortable human roots, which is why it’s universally embraced. also, girls don’t like the feeling of rejecting guys, and not answering a text is even easier than not answering a voicemail.
roissy’s last blog post: May 2008 Comment Winner.
It’s certainly an interesting phenomenon, but I think there was probably a similar sentiment when the telephone started becoming popular – talking on the phone takes away from the personal aspects of talking to someone in person. We see the same thing now with texting, emailing, etc. The important thing to remember though is that eventually it has to get personal, in the flesh, face to face.
It’s not uncommon for me to get emails and MySpace’s in place of phone numbers when trying to pick up girls these days. It’s not a big deal, the rules of seduction are still the same, it’s just that the tools are different.
Matt Savage’s last blog post: MySpace Dating Experiment.
I think it has less to do with all these negative reasons given: it’s more cowardly, it’s less personal, etc., and has more to do with the convenience of it. Even from friends or family members unless they just want to ‘chat’ I’d always rather someone txt me.
If I get a missed call from someone or they call but I’m busy, what do they want? Did they just want to say hi, want to make plans for the weekend, or they’re taking a test and they’re in the bathroom calling for answers? If I was busy I’d ignore all three of those if they called since I can’t differentiate between them. If someone txts I’ll probably ignore the first til work is over, ignore the second until I have a free five minutes, and respond to the third immediately.
Txt’ing is much more convenient, and that is why it is being embraced as a superior alternative method of communication in most instances.
Mr. Hanky makes an excellent point about the ability to be bolder in text messages than you can when speaking on the phone. A few months back I sent a text message to a woman I was sleeping with that read, “Feel like having some orgasms?” (She responded, “Yes!”) That sort of thing doesn’t work nearly as well on a phone call when she can’t see the playful grin on face when you say something lascivious.
Texting has made it easier to get laid (just send the same “hi” to 8 different numbers). Do you really care that it has replaced the phone? ie. Do you care that girls don’t want to waste our time with useless banter about what time they were up til last night?
texting is great. I started texting just recently as well and it gives you this “i don’t give a f*** enough to call you’ mentality that I think works well on girls.
i suppose another aspect is the same as e-mail… people can respond to a text when they have time. they are not put on the spot like with a phone call. you also dont have to screen calls (say with called i.d. or voicemail). and arent put in the awkward position of returning an undesired call
I still don’t see how texting to ask about a first or second date can be seen as anything other than a pussy way to do it.
Texting is great for guys who are naturally more introverted — not socially shy, but who just don’t prefer being around lots of people all day. Extraverted people are better at performing on-the-spot, so for introverts, the ability to think something over for a second or two before responding is great.
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I was just giving one of my readers I’m coaching advice about how to get dates from the numbers he’s piling up.,
my advice was fuck the phone number and get her Facebook page.
If you’re under 25 your chances of getting a date through back and forth Facebook emailing far beats out the phone call.
The last 2 girls I dated seriously I met out at a bar, got their myspace page, and never talked to them on the phone before meeting them again (via a message on myspace)
It works perfectly because you can work a good lead over the course of a month. if you’ve got skills you’ll probably be working 5-6 girls over that time period.
Phone calls suck because pride is affected to easily if she doesn’t call right back, with Facebook you can leave messages at your speed, multiple ones if necessary, and when you feel the time is right you strike with the invite you hang out.,
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The problem with texting is that when your ‘unlocked’ phone gets infiltrated by one of your women…. you got some explaining to do. Always password protect your cell!
Dick Goodnuts’s last blog post: American Boys.
I personally just avoid the phone all together: guys, girls, and yes even immediate family.
Ava V.’s last blog post: Santa Fe Yard Sale.
I just think texting is a shitty way to communicate, except for short relevant factual information that doesn’t need a conversation around it (“our hotel room number is 623″, for example). I briefly messed with a girl who never ever talked on the phone, only text. It was lame. At least you get to hear the other person’s voice if you call.
Texting also allows either party to try to elevate their status, presenting the image that their time is so valuable that they can’t be bothered to even talk on the phone with the other one. It encourages a “race to the bottom” or arms race-like scenario where both make a show of how little effort they can expend at communicating with the other.
This post is well-timed. I just got a call from a girl that kind of went on longer than I wanted, and I got sort of frustrated by that. But at least she was *talking* to me.
Our parent’s generation being the last one to have written letters to each other?
While I don’t believe that “love letters” are the way to go at all, the ability to write well is becoming a premium in this day and age. Here’s my theory. The idea that youth nowadays are being grammatically degraded by texting and IMs is full of crap. People haven’t been able to write well for decades already, it’s only now we have a technology that shows how badly that particular skill has dwindled. People stopped writing long personal letters regularly long before the internet was around. Now, however, we have a medium in which skill with the (type)written word is revalued, in other words, those of us who have the skill and time in invest in writing well can use it to our advantage.
Case in point, I write longhand letters to many of my friends abroad, partially because I enjoy writing, partially because of the results I get with it. Never underestimate the power of a couple longhand letters on unlined paper (not love letters, mind you, think in terms of the sort of letters written in the 19th century) on a girl when you visit them several months later.
Its just so convenient for us!…..you can’t always talk with certain people around you nor do you want what your up to to be apparent. Quick discreet and easy :D
Maybe one of the contributing factors to the prevalence of texting is that its alot cheaper than calling via cell phone.
Younger women tend to either be students or in jobs that are not particularly well paying.
So , if a chick has lots of friends and guys that she is staying in contact with, talking on the phone would make for a hefty phone bill at the end of the month.
Yes it is coming to an end. Dump the home phone, people. This is the age of email and texts.
The game it is a changin’
Roosh said: “Even though text messaging costs more than sending data from the Hubble Telescope…”
Roosh, you made a great point but this should have been your whole argument. Women like things that cost money. Phone service is free; texting isn’t. Therefore, women have taken to texting because they inherently find more value because it costs more.
Texting is like getting the same crappy sweater but with a designer label at three times the price. It’s the same old shit, but the fact that women spend money means, to them, “I’m worth it.”
Has anyone else noticed that women can earn three times more then men, yet save three times less money? Just asking.
“In fact I’ve met quite a few girls who tell me specifically that texting is the best way to contact him.”
You been picking up a few of the Bangcock ladyboys?
Most people I know who txt on a regular basis have an unlimited plan. It’s $10/mo, i.e. a heck of a lot cheaper than what I pay for my minutes.
Texting is GREAT.
Instead of bullshitting over the phone where you can’t do jackshit with them, you send a text and meet them in person.
“To their unfortunate detriment women are now making it easier for guys to fuck them without putting in this crucial investment. I’m shaking my head at how they continue to dig their own spinster grave (Sex and the City movie is coming out soon!), but this is great for guys like myself who just want hot sex.”
No, not at all. Texting makes it easier to get guys into buying THEM cocktails and dinner.
No need for them to sit at home and WASTE 30 minutes listening to some bullshit call from some guy that ends with the typical, “Uh, um would you like to have dinner with me?”
You shouldnt even be dating someone under 25 dumbass! What the hell do you have in common with someone barely a few years out of puberty. Get real man. Your 30+ ! Kinda hard to feel sorry for you there. Get yourself a woman atleast 28-30 that you can relate to bc guess what, it wouldnt be any better in person. Under 25 talks in mindless fragments anyway doofus. Where have U been?? Kinda makes you look like the perv here and you cant fault a kid for being a kid with a cell phone. Theyre still a kid. HELLO!
“You shouldnt even be dating someone under 25 dumbass! What the hell do you have in common with someone barely a few years out of puberty. Get real man… Get yourself a woman atleast 28-30… Kinda makes you look like the perv here… Theyre still a kid. HELLO!”
Shannon, please do yourself a favor and suck a dick and/or have an orgasm.
This is EXACTLY why he should be dating women in their early 20s. They aren’t angry, bitter, judgmental, passed over, and certainly don’t think men in their 20s are “pervs”.
I agree with Anon. When you date someone between 28-30 years old, she’s looking to get married (or at least engaged) BEFORE she turns 30. As a result, the amount of “play time” you’ll have together will be measured in days or weeks, rather than months or even years. Women age 21-25 aren’t thinking about marriage. They want to have fun before settling down. It’s your job to be the fun….
Under 25 talks in mindless fragments anyway doofus
…nah, too easy.
agnostic’s last blog post: A second shot at girliness: some data.
There is no better reminder as to why to date younger women than reading Shannon’s angry, illogical screed.
Thanks for the reminder as to why to date 25-year-olds, gramma.
“Under 25 talks in mindless fragments anyway doofus. ”
Wow, look how stupid you are.
I have to imagine that for today’s player, texting is an awesome way to manage multiple women (my player days are behind me, personally). Especially with the “mass text” function where you can send a text to multiple people at once. One guy I know told me of a technique he had where he sends out one giant mass text to every woman in his phone near the end of the night saying “Had such a blast tonight, wanna keep partying. Where are you right now?” Then he waits to see who texts back and sees if he can get a booty call that night. It’s worked quite a few times for him. (I think he got the technique from a blog, actually)
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I had a serious relationship with a girl I met online. It was 4 months into it before I ever talked on the phone with her.