Leaving Girls Voicemail

The following exerpt is from my book Bang.

A girl has made up her mind on whether she is going to call you back before you even pick up the phone. There is no message in the world that will make the girl call you back when she already decided not to, but there are messages you can leave which can change her mind and stop her from calling you back. In the case of voice messages, boring is better. Our simple voice message avoids the pitfalls of a typical bad message, like the previously mentioned joke or story drop and also self-descriptions that insinuate you are forgettable. Bad message example: “Hey it’s Steve, from Friday night at the bar, with the striped shirt, just calling to say….” If she gave you her number she is already interested to you (or was at the moment she gave it). Until you see her again in person you can only do more to harm than help.

Once you leave a message, put your phone down and go occupy your mind with something else. You’re expecting a call, not waiting for one. Get on with your life and don’t worry about if your phone has a strong enough signal or if your ringer is loud enough for you to hear it. If you are doing things that you wouldn’t do if you were expecting a buddy of yours to return a call, then you need to take a step back by turning off your ringer and hiding your phone until the next morning. You give too much power to the girl if you eagerly await her call.

Phone game is important, but it’s one of the only areas of the game where simply being capable is enough. The phone is just a bridge to continuing the interaction, not intensifying it. If you keep that frame in mind you will talk to girls like you would talk to a friend: relaxed, fun, and brief. There is a band-aid to bad phone game in the form of text messaging (it used to be e-mail), but you’ll have to get her on the phone eventually so you might as well get it straightened out starting now. Bang has several pages on how to work the phone. You can learn more about what’s inside the book here.

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