Recently I began exchanging my time and labor for money. Yes, I have a job, my first in seventeen months. (Seventeen months!)

Six weeks ago a friend of mine had a birthday party at the old bar I used to work at. It was three years since I stepped foot in there and I thought little about my six month stint as a bartender. It was just another job, and not a particularly skilled one at that. Towards the end of the night I get a tap on my shoulder. It was my old boss. He asked me if I was looking for work and I said not really but I’d consider something part-time. We kept in touch but nothing happened.

Last Wednesday after a couple drinks at the Reef I took the Metro home and who was in the same train car but my old boss. Serendipity. He asked me again if I was looking for a job and I told him the same answer. He gave me a start date and that was that.

The bar is patroned by a hyper-professional, sharp-looking clientele in their mid-30′s and up who constantly thumb their Blackberries. Hipsters or college students do not know it exists, and I often overhear political discussion with names of specific Congressmen and Senators. The average tip is 20%, even for mediocre service during the happy hour rush. Customers are older and more conservative so there will be no grimy bar stories like you might see from other bartenders, but maybe I will find an elderly lady patron who would like to subsidize my travel and writing in exchange for sexual favors.

It took me only a short time to get back into the groove of making margaritas, dirty martinis (“extra dirty, please”), and whiskey sours. Honestly I’m not very fast at making drinks but when it comes to personality I’m unstoppable. Two nights ago a couple pleaded with me to cut my shift early and go drinking with them. Little do they know that years of picking up girls in bars and clubs have given me an uncanny ability to build rapport with complete strangers. Or maybe I’m just an all-around great guy.

In just a couple weeks the pads on my fingers will be rubbed raw and my hands will be sliced with little cuts, but nothing a little lotion and liquid band-aid can’t fix. Every night I will take the stack of tips I earned and add that to my bum fund. I will not increase my standard of living one bit—if anything I will bust out the bike even more. Every six nights I work will mean another month I don’t have to. I think that’s a fair trade.

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maybe I will find an elderly lady patron who would like to subsidize my travel and writing in exchange for sexual favors

Is travel really worth it?

Peter’s last blog post: Wednesday, October 1.

Sounds pretty good. So you work at the bar a couple of months and next thing you know you have a years worth of expenses saved for… nice!

Matt Savage’s last blog post: The Dilemmas of Male Virgins.

Nothing wrong with taking a job as a bartender. You might want to consider whether it would be worth it to bartend on a high-end cruise ship sailing the Mediterranean. Great money and you’ll get a chance to travel to countries you haven’t seen yet.

You don’t neccessarily need youthful customers for “grimy” bar stories. Co-workers can be just as dirty.

Jack Goes Forth’s last blog post: I’m Being Threatened.

elderly lady patron

yeah, 35 is pushing the elderly envelope. if you’re lucky she will offer a 3some with her younger sister.

personality and unique looks, plus ability to perform under pressure, count for way more than encyclopedic drink knowledge. i’ll be stopping by for a freebie.

roissy’s last blog post: What You Can Learn From A Beta.

If I hadn’t pussy-footed around for a few minutes wondering whether to take the Metro or a cab home, you would have missed him (chaos theory and all that).

So you’re welcome. I want free drinks.

Arjewtino’s last blog post: My insane need to be right is really starting to get in the way of looking at boobs.

I’m guessing this is going to bring an uptick in the tone of your writing – it seemed like you had reached an emotional nadir in the wake of your return from South America. I guess we’ll all stay tuned!

where is this bar? as a faithful reader i should get a freebie here and there. motivation.

If you enjoy traveling so much, you may as well find a bartending job abroad. Although you would be making any income, you could at least get free room and board.

Are you talking about the same place that I know?……I will bring my newborn and we will celebrate her birth, me and you drinking like old times, while she is crying and shitting herself, in her car seat in the corner of the bar…….nothing changed……

This reminds me of the places that, make me feel like a hobo, when it is time to close the tab.

Congratulations! Glad to hear that things worked out so well on Wednesday.

ListenToLeon’s last blog post: Stacks Album Review.

Consider slinging some coke on the side.

The world needs more Bartender/Beek Dealers.

- MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: New York armored truck heist arrest; $330,000 still missing.

“Or maybe I’m just an all-around great guy.”

Hahaha, I don’t know, that line really made me laugh… in a good way :]

Rita’s last blog post: the right to kill.

You know… many years ago, liking f’ing 10 now… i was in CHile, and i met these cyclists from Sweden, who were biking South-North there (in CHile)… one of them told me how he worked as a waiter.. worked a ton, in Sweden, so that he could then quit his job, and travel for a several mos. THen he’d begin the cycle again.

You are good writer. you could monetize that. through travel writing, editorial writing (magazine writing…). and you fill a niche… plenty of magazine would love travel/ game oriented pieces: esquire, details, gq etc. most of the game bloggers/experts are dreadful writers….

and i want add… i think it’s cool what you’re doing now.
just saying… you are ALSO a good writer and could exploit it if you cared to

bartenders are scum

I should visit my brother in DC sometime and drop in on all you crazy DC folks…

You serve Quilmes? Awesome :)

“bartenders are scum”

Unless the bartender is a Fly Girl and she wants to roll back to your hotel after she knocks off work.

- MPM

The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Iceland on the Brink of Bankruptcy.