Maybe It Doesn’t Really Get Better Than This

There are two paths you naturally gravitate towards if you want to have sex with a girl more than once. The first path is to pursue a casual relationship where you see her between 1-3 times a week to hang out at the bar, restaurant, park, seaside, cinema, theater, cupcake shop, or so on before having sex. The relationship doesn’t increase in emotional weight as time goes on, and you both are satisfied with the sexual arrangement for the short term until either of you finds something better or more novel. The second path is one of increasing deepening and commitment. You take trips together, she spends more nights over at your place, you become boyfriend/girlfriend, she moves in with you, you get married, have kids, and then get divorced.

I’m not sure if most men learn game for its purely sexual rewards as described in the first case or for long-term relationships like in the second, but chances are that if you’re reading me, you’re more after sex than commitment. Most of my game efforts for the past 13 years have been the same, and only lately have I pursued longer term relationships—but only slightly—as I find less value in one-night stands or sex with girls less than a couple times. But since emotion and love are not important to me, I find even mini-relationships to be somewhat pointless, mere sexual distractions, since my investment into her is small. She remains only a trivial addition to my life.

I still greatly enjoy sex with women, but if I’m going to maintain a steady state relationship with a girl where the pattern is a 1-3 hour hangout followed by sex and no more, it will become boring. Maybe I could try getting more creative with date ideas, but having sex alone with a girl without deepening it in some way makes the relationship nothing more than basic entertainment that adds no lasting value. We’re using each other for sexual and social benefits and it will likely not last longer than a couple months and that will be all.

Without some investment in terms of love or commitment, how much meaning can the mini-relationship possibly have? This is why it’s been so easy for me to walk away from these girls without regret or second-guessing my decision, and it’s not like girls are begging me either to come back to their city and resume our twice a week sex dates. She’s an easily replaceable sex toy and I’m her easily replaceable cock and there you have it—the pinnacle of modern relationships where both parties remain free and unburdened.

Recently I was on date ten or so with a girl and things were going well, but I wasn’t doing anything to advance the relationship. I started feeling like I was just wasting her time, and finding a replacement would at least give me a novelty boost of happiness. Maintaining a superficial relationship with one girl doesn’t seem to give much more happiness than one-night stands besides being able to raw dog more regularly, and if I wasn’t getting tired of clubs maybe I’d still prowl them four times a week since doing so simulates hunting and provides me with masculine pleasure. Or I could accept the biological destiny of procreating with hopefully the right woman. I did the former enough times that it adds little to my life and I don’t think the latter, of giving away my freedom, is the answer either.

In spite of being in the game as long as I have, I sometimes feel weird urges to turn the mini-relationship into a serious one, especially if I like the girl. I want to contact her more, see her more, and with the girl I mentioned above, I imagined how it would be like to actually live with her—not for having sex on demand but just pair bonding and growing old with someone. These beta commitment fantasies of mine always turn negative as I consider the loss of freedom and privacy with no strong advantage that makes the deal profitable for me. Mini-relationships and harem maintenance are nothing more than entertainment and serious relationships are drudgery, one step away from slavery. Both are unsatisfactory.

So what’s the answer? Is it eternal bachelorhood, of banging a handful of new girls each season, hopping from one new mini-relationship to the next, but achieving no depth or novelty in what you haven’t achieved before, or is it making what could be the biggest mistake of your life by knocking a girl up and riding the fatherhood roller coaster for the next 20 years? I could go out this weekend and hit it hard, maybe getting laid, but my intensive pursuit of sex in the past decade has sated me where I wouldn’t be upset if I failed. Or maybe the answer is that the happiness I have sought in women can’t be achieved at all, and whether I ride the slut carousel or settle down with one girl, I’ll still end up asking myself, “Is this it?”

Read Next: The Rise Of The Mini Relationship

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