My Boner Is My Master

If there is one part of my body that has given me the most happiness in life, it is my boner. When used in the way that nature intended, my obelisk of masculine power gives me pleasure, ecstasy, and purpose. Successfully pursuing its demands has showered me with satisfaction, no matter how fleeting, giving me meaning in an otherwise meaningless existence. I am who I am and where I am because I have faithfully listened to its needs and demands.

My boner knows what I like before I know. It signals to me when an attractive woman is within its view, forcing me to make contact with her. It sees the sexual value of certain women where I initially saw none, and if I fail to listen to my boner, it makes me feel guilt, shame, and regret. If I do follow its orders, I feel strong, masculine, hopeful.

My boner is ambitious. While it understands the conquest of female flesh is not instant, and that periods of time must pass between its feedings, my boner never lets me fall back into comfort or complacency. Besides instructing my testicles to produce sperm, creating weight and soreness that demands neverending release, it pushes me to find women who are more feminine and beautiful than the last. I have pierced higher quality women in the past year than ever, all from listening to my boner’s insatiable demands for beauty.

My boner is clever. It knows the difference between pleasure from my hand and pleasure from a real vagina. I have tried to deceive it many times, but it can not be tricked. Even the highest quality pornography does little to quench its demand for actual human fornication, and for that I nod my head to its supreme wisdom.

My boner is durable. There is no way to scientifically explain how my boner can sustain such prolonged friction with a vagina, even dry ones, in spite of its impossibly thin layer of outer skin. In the case of trauma from vigorous sexual activity, it self-heals within only a matter of days. Its fearless and always ready for action, like a samurai warrior.

My boner is strong. It only needs a small intermission between sex sessions. My body may fatigue, my heart my sputter, but my boner does not tire. In the face of sexual plenty, it can stay engorged with blood, its shy eye seeking a victim to impale, as if it thinks the end of times is near.

My boner does not lie. I have tried to give it sub-standard women since they are easier, but it simply does not activate, lying in a state of dormancy instead. My brain can be deceived by such women, but my devilish boner can not. For every woman I speak to, it either gives me a look of approval or one of disdain. Without his blessing, the interaction may not proceed.

My boner is my master. I am its happy slave, not wanting to be freed from its chains. I wish not to escape the flesh sacrifice it continually demands. It is my god, my muse, the heart of all which makes me a man. Without the ability to make a boner, I am weak, impotent, and harmless. I dare not ignore my boner or go against the prescription it has for me.

Only when my boner needs rest can I focus on other more worldly tasks, but as long as it is hungry, as long as it demands vaginal food, I will sacrifice everything so that it may be satisfied. As long as I live, I will serve my beloved boner.

Read Next: I Think, Therefore I’m Erect

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  • Anacleto López

    Long life the Boner!

  • http://t.co/UeL96NeVpL Nigel Big Game Davis

    Show me a man that doesn’t get boners and I’ll show you a woman. Straight talk my brother.

  • Pete M

    This is my boner. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My boner is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I master my life. My boner, without me, is useless. Without my boner, I am useless. I must fire my boner true.

  • joe

    “There is more wisdom in your body than in your deepest philosophy.” –Friedrich Nietzsche

  • actionoftime

    Some philosophy once said that without sex, people would have no desire to do anything, we would just not try anything. Think how many things you do in life because of this Truth. that’s why it’s called a sex drive

  • Roosh?

    Name 3 currently good cities in Poland for boners to go?????????

  • Cedric G

    Chopping down my wood all over my hood. Same thing make you laugh make you cry. Put some ds in that bitch. Roll pocket lockd smooth hustling hos proper. Real talk by real players and every yo know she hush her mouth and listen to a pimp when he talk. They all say- Cedric G put some of that hood knowledge in me player.

  • Laguna Beach Fogey

    That’s beautiful, man.

  • strangersinthenight

    Can’t you just come out of the closet already? I’m getting tired of meeting you in bathrooms and dark alleys…

    Although I must say, you mastered my boner like a champ last night ;)

    Kisses!

  • BronyFriendzoney

    very poetry. much boner. wow.

  • Ben

    Words of wisdom.

  • Joe

    I’m an American headed to Europe in March and plan on traveling all throughout for 6-8 months. Mostly backpacking an staying at hostels. Mainly approaching any cute girl I see. Any tips? Advice?

  • Impartial Observer

    Yeah, Nietzsche’s boner was so smart it got him syphillis.

  • Aurngifmsm

    Wester Europe is brainwashed like Team Murica. The Balkans are full of hotties and cheap. Get on the Roosh V forum and ask Greek Kamaki- that dude has a lot of knowledge.

  • Joe

    Thanks.

  • Jacob Ian Stalk

    When your boner stops working, as it certainly will one day, you’ll be like a house negro in a deserted house. What then?

  • Scesci

    Off topic

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ItA7ZdzF8lU

    Women in the elite police force of São Paulo

    i see a good gif potential

  • Dirk

    Which he claimed to have contracted on purpose.

  • Lacedric T

    ————What City has all of the following and is reasonably priced???????????
    1-Big tit friendly white women with decent facial symetry
    2-Good night clubs who play bumping music (trance, house)
    3-Lots of cheap and variety of cuisine (French, Turkish, Vietnamese, etc.)
    4-Cheap Party favors (alcohol and GOOD weed)

  • Lacedric T

    Roosh-ever drink Colt 45 or Old Milwaukee??? Gotta keep it classy.

  • Lacedric T

    Realer than Real Deal Holyfield, ya heard?

  • freedom

    This fucking article. 10/10.

  • Roosh_V

    “When [the thing you value most] stops, as it certainly will one day, you’ll be [wanting]. What then?”

    Oh I don’t know, deal with it like every other human who has lived in the world?

  • D P

    This post reminds me of the most recent Southpark

  • Aleks

    Great to have the drive but you need to Master it so you achieve your potential in life beyond a few lays.
    Read and digest Chapter 11 of Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill….he knew if you let lust control you that you dissipated energy that could propel you upwards in life creatively and financially!

    http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/tgr/tgr16.htm

  • Jonny_Paycheck

    Great to enjoy the boner BUT
    To achieve the most in life you have to Master the sex drive ,and use it to drive your achievements in life ,creatively ,financially etc rather than dissipating it all trying to get laid!
    Read Chapter 11 of Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill
    The Secret of Sexual Transmutation

    http://www.sacred-texts.com/nth/tgr/tgr16.htm

  • DickHerp

    No wonder you haven’t managed to accomplish shit with your life –other than con naiive men with jobs out of their hard earned cash, I mean.

  • Brock

    good potential for boredom! thanks for that!

  • John

    The modern consensus is he probably died of brain cancer. Nietzsche’s post WW2 haters liked to claim syphilis and now everyone believes it. There’s no way he was getting laid enough to get an STD let alone syphilis.

  • Haseem Cocksted

    Roosh could be a South Park character. He looks like the magic carpet riding animated version of David Grohl and i could see him teaching Stan and Kenny pick up or being the Women’s studies professor on South Park. You know that comedy “The Dictator” for some reason Roosh reminds me of him and every time I see a Roosh 4 YT upload- I’m thinking “Aladeen Mutha Fucka!!!!!!!”

  • Rochester

    i dont have a lot of feeling in my dick. it rarely gets hard. and when it does its not an angry demanding hard on like it used to be,its more,”whatever”. My orgasms are dull and boring. Perfunctory. i may never get happiness from pussy help me!!!

  • Adolf Hilter

    Read chptr 6 of “Re-Thinking” by Napoleon Hill: ” Looking back on my life my main regret is I didnt get a whole lot of pussy. In fact I nailed very little! Yeah I jerked off a lot,but I hardly ever fucked! And I NEVER fucked a chinese bitch,nor a nigger! I have never eaten a pussy! Whats it like-thats my favorite fanyasy,going down on some beautiful arrogant dominanat slut! Oh God I wiosh I couldve gone down on some hot broads!! And getting my dick sucked? Forget about it! And the joke is,I aint got no fucking money either, my jew manager got it all! FUCK!” Wow. Just wow.

  • Jacob Ian Stalk

    Overcoming loss is something everyone has to deal with at some point in their lives. The question wasn’t about everyman dealing with loss, it was about a slave dealing with freedom. Do you really think a house slave values being a house slave the most? He values freedom but he has no idea what to do with it, which can be worse than slavery. It’s wise to start planning for that day so you’ll know what to do when it comes. And it will surely come.

  • Jacob Ian Stalk

    Overcoming loss is something everyone has to deal with at some point in their lives. The question wasn’t about everyman dealing with loss, it was about a slave dealing with freedom. Do you really think a house slave values being a house slave the most? He values freedom but he has no idea what to do with it, which can be worse than slavery. It’s wise to start planning for that day so you’ll know what to do when it comes. And it will surely come.

  • Brian

    Hey Roosh,

    I bought your books but now they’re saying that the Polish Defense League will “protect the honor of their women” by fighting guys hitting on her esp at night. (btw, I applaud the PDL for their defense against the prevention of gang-rapes by muslims but this will seriously crimp my night approaches as i’m a brown colored hispanic looking guy)

    While I have no problem with a throwdown (i’m 5’6″ so it comes with the territory – napoleon complex and all that), my goal in going to Poland this year is to capture A Flag, not many just one (as a campaign of sorts).

    Do you have any suggestions for me as I will faithfully execute what’s in Bang Poland to the letter.

    Thanks, oh and i love the books, they’re awesome.

  • Osiris DuBois

    Haha that’s ridiculous

  • josorio300

    Doesnt count if the man is a fag….

  • Ray

    I broke my dick. What now?

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/MrParkerEast Parker East

    Dude. Never put a boner in a dry vagina. Just no.

    That’s what lube is for. It’s nearly as indispensable as condoms.

  • Ray

    Women suck, that’s why they find so many of them floating face down in the river every day.

  • thepinch

    You’re an idiot.