A big mistake that guys make is trying to upgrade from a girl they haven’t fucked yet. I wrote about this in The 9 Immutable Laws Of Pick-Up…
If one night you have both a sure thing and a “maybe” with another girl, always go for the sure thing. It’s never happened in the history of the world that a man got something after skipping on the sure thing, partly because the mere act of skipping on the sure thing for some other girl means you’re overvaluing the better girl. Bad game will leak out as a result.
What happens is you approach a girl, get in good with her, and then suddenly notice a bunch of hotter girls checking you out, maybe even coming close with the hope that they can intrude on the conversation. Sometimes it gets even more extreme, like what happened to me one night in Copenhagen.
I approached a blonde sitting next to me. She was just okay, a 6.5, but for Copenhagen that’s quite decent. She also had a shockingly large, round ass, and I’m not exaggerating when I say I got an instant boner after putting my hand on it. Since she passed my boner test with flying colors, I was ready to call upon my troops to do everything possible to make it happen.
Over the next two hours, not one, not two, not three, but four other girls approached me without any fear or hesitation. I was stunned by their aggressiveness. Now I’ll admit I was looking good that night, but having a decent blonde on your nuts in the middle of a crowded bar didn’t hurt. Most other dudes were drunk, looking sloppy with ill-fitting clothing, and roaming around like hyenas, making me a good catch for the heterosexual women of the bar.
The first girl who approached was an American of lesser quality than the blonde. I was nice to her, but ended the conversation after only a minute. Poor girl probably hadn’t been laid in a while.
The second girl was from Finland, at least one point higher in attractiveness. The urge to upgrade was strong. She talked to me and the blonde, asking, “So are you two dating? How did you meet?” I kept things vague, joking that we were friends from high school. I asked her how to say “ménage à trois” in Finnish, hinting that she may have a chance, but then she tried to position herself so that the blonde wouldn’t be included in the conversation. I didn’t allow it, and told her to have a nice night.
The third girl was from Ireland, of equal quality to the blonde. She also asked if we were “dating” and was much more aggressive in trying to dominate the conversation. Within two minutes I told her to have a nice night.
The fourth girl was from Iceland, a petite thing on the same level of the blonde. She actually knew an Icelander that I know (that’s Iceland for you), and we talked about how Icelanders hook up. She gave me this smile that I remember from Iceland means, “I want to have sex with you,” but I cut off the conversation and told her that maybe I’d see her around.
In each case I talked to the girls only long enough to make the blonde a little jealous, all while keeping my hand placed on her ass to let her know she was my ho for the night and I wasn’t trying to upgrade.
Do you want to know what would have happened if I ditched the blonde and went for any of those girls? Nothing. I wouldn’t have gotten laid, because the act of ditching your main bitch for another girl causes your value to drop. The main reason those girls wanted me in the first place (being with the blonde) would disappear, they’d re-evaluate their attraction for me, and odds are I’d get a make-out at most. If you go for the upgrade, you might as well just hand your balls to the new girl and beg her not to screw up your decision.
I told myself that even if the blonde doesn’t end up fucking me, I’m still doing the proper move. In poker if you do the statistically correct move but still lose the hand, it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. In the long-run doing that move would still give you an advantage and higher winnings. I completely accepted that it would be the blonde or nothing, so I eliminated any sexual thoughts about those other four girls.
The blonde came through. Having all those girls come up to me made her want me even more, and there was no resistance in putting her pussy in a sarcophagus.
Technically, you can always upgrade. There’s always going to be a girl cuter than the one you are with, but you have to remind yourself that you are attracted to her, which is the reason why you approached her in the first place. Therefore it would be pure beta weakness to get tempted by sweeter fruit before first sealing the deal with what you got. Commit to the bang until you succeed or get thwarted, never aborting midway through, no matter how much love another slut is giving you.
If you’re with a girl you’ve already fucked, it’s fine to get a number on the sly, but before the bang you’d be an idiot not to go for the girl you already invested in. If you think of getting laid as an obstacle course, don’t fall for the old trick of getting distracted from your mission by girls just trying to play games and cockblock your shit. Guys who change their mind every fifteen minutes depending on what the bar mob is giving them don’t get laid. Only closers who remain focused get laid.