A big mistake that guys make is trying to upgrade from a girl they haven’t fucked yet. I wrote about this in The 9 Immutable Laws Of Pick-Up…
If one night you have both a sure thing and a “maybe” with another girl, always go for the sure thing. It’s never happened in the history of the world that a man got something after skipping on the sure thing, partly because the mere act of skipping on the sure thing for some other girl means you’re overvaluing the better girl. Bad game will leak out as a result.
What happens is you approach a girl, get in good with her, and then suddenly notice a bunch of hotter girls checking you out, maybe even coming close with the hope that they can intrude on the conversation. Sometimes it gets even more extreme, like what happened to me one night in Copenhagen.
I approached a blonde sitting next to me. She was just okay, a 6.5, but for Copenhagen that’s quite decent. She also had a shockingly large, round ass, and I’m not exaggerating when I say I got an instant boner after putting my hand on it. Since she passed my boner test with flying colors, I was ready to call upon my troops to do everything possible to make it happen.
Over the next two hours, not one, not two, not three, but four other girls approached me without any fear or hesitation. I was stunned by their aggressiveness. Now I’ll admit I was looking good that night, but having a decent blonde on your nuts in the middle of a crowded bar didn’t hurt. Most other dudes were drunk, looking sloppy with ill-fitting clothing, and roaming around like hyenas, making me a good catch for the heterosexual women of the bar.
The first girl who approached was an American of lesser quality than the blonde. I was nice to her, but ended the conversation after only a minute. Poor girl probably hadn’t been laid in a while.
The second girl was from Finland, at least one point higher in attractiveness. The urge to upgrade was strong. She talked to me and the blonde, asking, “So are you two dating? How did you meet?” I kept things vague, joking that we were friends from high school. I asked her how to say “ménage à trois” in Finnish, hinting that she may have a chance, but then she tried to position herself so that the blonde wouldn’t be included in the conversation. I didn’t allow it, and told her to have a nice night.
The third girl was from Ireland, of equal quality to the blonde. She also asked if we were “dating” and was much more aggressive in trying to dominate the conversation. Within two minutes I told her to have a nice night.
The fourth girl was from Iceland, a petite thing on the same level of the blonde. She actually knew an Icelander that I know (that’s Iceland for you), and we talked about how Icelanders hook up. She gave me this smile that I remember from Iceland means, “I want to have sex with you,” but I cut off the conversation and told her that maybe I’d see her around.
In each case I talked to the girls only long enough to make the blonde a little jealous, all while keeping my hand placed on her ass to let her know she was my ho for the night and I wasn’t trying to upgrade.
Do you want to know what would have happened if I ditched the blonde and went for any of those girls? Nothing. I wouldn’t have gotten laid, because the act of ditching your main bitch for another girl causes your value to drop. The main reason those girls wanted me in the first place (being with the blonde) would disappear, they’d re-evaluate their attraction for me, and odds are I’d get a make-out at most. If you go for the upgrade, you might as well just hand your balls to the new girl and beg her not to screw up your decision.
I told myself that even if the blonde doesn’t end up fucking me, I’m still doing the proper move. In poker if you do the statistically correct move but still lose the hand, it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. In the long-run doing that move would still give you an advantage and higher winnings. I completely accepted that it would be the blonde or nothing, so I eliminated any sexual thoughts about those other four girls.
The blonde came through. Having all those girls come up to me made her want me even more, and there was no resistance in putting her pussy in a sarcophagus.
Technically, you can always upgrade. There’s always going to be a girl cuter than the one you are with, but you have to remind yourself that you are attracted to her, which is the reason why you approached her in the first place. Therefore it would be pure beta weakness to get tempted by sweeter fruit before first sealing the deal with what you got. Commit to the bang until you succeed or get thwarted, never aborting midway through, no matter how much love another slut is giving you.
If you’re with a girl you’ve already fucked, it’s fine to get a number on the sly, but before the bang you’d be an idiot not to go for the girl you already invested in. If you think of getting laid as an obstacle course, don’t fall for the old trick of getting distracted from your mission by girls just trying to play games and cockblock your shit. Guys who change their mind every fifteen minutes depending on what the bar mob is giving them don’t get laid. Only closers who remain focused get laid.Tweet Follow @rooshv
Related Posts You May Like:
Game Tips Newsletter:
100% agree. This is one of the common mistakes when a man starts to develop advanced beginner game. This is one bit of wisdom I learned from you and always applied in my game. In my experience, it always got me the notch with the girl I was already with, and often led to me later getting the notch from the girl who tried to peep.
Very true. Even worse is if you neglect the girl you are gaming to actively chase other girls, just because you think you can do better.
Sometimes when the venue has a favorable ratio, it’s very hard to keep a laser-beam like focus, but you have to – otherwise you often come back empty-handed to the girl you were originally gaming only to find not so warmly receptive anymore.
Now I know some PUAs say turn your back to her every now and then, push-pull, go flirt with other girls, but more often that not when I’ve done that either some other dude took my place before I came back, or she got pissed off.
Refusing or ignoring interest from other girls raises your value to the girl you are with.
a bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush?
“In each case I talked to the girls only long enough to make the blonde a little jealous, all while keeping my hand placed on her ass to let her know she was my ho for the night and I wasn’t trying to upgrade. ”
ha ha ha!! that’s how you’ve got to keep them in place. This line killed it, along with the Kanye ref.
Man this was a good post for young G’s trying to come up in the game.. I used to always stumble on this one
Good point.You basically had that ass on lock,so women naturaly gravitate toward game(a pretty girl in your arms in a venue is worth four in the bush).Its always gona be a shit test from the other girls that approach asell,but you got to know when to fold’em +when to hold’em.
Pussy begets pussy 9 times out of 10.Women can sense and smell pussy on you even when your chick is’nt present.
Rules to live by in GAME.
which club were you at?
I remember the first time I read that tip, almost 8 months ago… and it is indeed solid fucking advice. In fact, it was following your advice that lead me to my own conclusions (the boner test).
I failed in this situation many times
This makes me feel better after hooking up with a 5.5 a few nights ago….
Roosh, per your tweet: what laws were broken?
I almost did this last Saturday.I was with a sure thing and I was tempted to approach another girl in the bar who was eye-contacting me.Thankfully I sticked with the former,and everything went well
bitch? ho? slut? One more step on the ladder of hate….
That’s the preselection effect. Try it with a good looking female friend on your arm who wants to help you picking up.
off topic but thought people here would know. Got an unprotected blow job from a chick. Odds of getting Herpes 1 on my genitals?
Most other dudes were drunk, looking sloppy with ill-fitting clothing
I would find some links with pics about how to dress and how not to dress helpful, fashion and clothes are a language i am definitely not fluent in and i realise more and more its not helping my game any.
Great stuff, Roosh! I liked the poker analogy. That was nicely-worded and well-explained!
How can you possible get goodlooking women when you are so UGLY yourself. No women above a 2 would look at you twice. Some people are so delusional.
dont be a hater dude.I know “uglier”,fatter guys who are with nice looking 7-8′s women.and they are’nt rich either.
In Rooshes case, keep on mackin in poland bro.
I have a long time friend who married a polish girl and I was envious on her quality compared to the american ex-wife he had prior.
“Technically, you can always upgrade. There’s always going to be a girl cuter than the one you are with, but you have to remind yourself that you are attracted to her, which is the reason why you approached her in the first place.”
Just the thought makes me throw up in my mouth — disgusting.
Very good advice. The other key here is the girl you were with had the awesome ass. Thus she wasn’t just any 6.5. She was a “qualified” 6.5.
So I think the other side that people need to notice is the girl you were with passed the boner test. That’s key. Would you agree that it’s OK to pass on a girl you could bang who *doesn’t* pass the boner test. (I mean you COULD get it up for her, but there ain’t nothing that gets you that excited about it).
As always informative and funny. Good bit of advice roosh.
Yeah…a nice bubble ass will do it EVERY time!
Gentlemen, this also illustrates just how SCANDALOUS the female of the species is. They won’t think twice about trying to poach another woman’s man, but demand faithfulness from that very same man. Notice how one of the chicks actually asked the status of their relationship, and took it upon herself to decide it was okay to simply step in and poach. This is why women simply can’t be taken seriously. They treat each other with so little regard right in front of us, showing us exactly devious they are.
you ‘re obviously a chick.no guy here cares about your opinion.
You been in poland and denmark for how many months, and we have yet to see a picture or some kind of video of these places. WTF?
@ 15 Preselection effect
“That’s the preselection effect. Try it with a good looking female friend on your arm who wants to help you picking up.”
Women, hamster brained sheeple.
Instead of the scale measurement rating of 1-10 for any woman you’re with, I simply make it easier:
She’s either a 1 or a 0.
1 = boner test passed
0 = boner test failed
However, even 1s could eventually turn into 0s after they get hammered and reveal how many guys they slept with and the emotional bullshit drama they’ve caused.
HAHAHAH the KANYE reference flew over probably 90% of your readers. Dope, none the less.
If I’m a chick, then obviously my opinion would matter. Isn’t that his target demographic — chicks. So I would know whether he’s gross or not — unless you are into guys — men always think they’re hot when they are not. He probably only games butterfaces — decent body but OMG but her face.
This is some good advice and something that I’ve always suffered from. I’ll be out and I’ll get tied in with the first decent thing that comes by only to try to move on to something better and end up with nothing.
I’ll will remember these words of pure wisdom.
[...] – “One Bitch on Your Nuts is Worth More Than Two Trying to Peep“, “Open Letter to the Parents of American [...]
excellent story, well told.
Thanks for this excellent post, I will remember it.
nahh I’ve behaved very badly before especially in medellin. I’ll never forget how once I was dancing and making out with a hot 21 year old and a guy was tapping on my shoulder(usually a bad thing). He says his friend who is a hot 28 year old woman wants to know me. I figure my odds of closing the deal that night with the 21 year old and the odds of closing the deal with the 28 year old, and I jumped ship. So pretty soon I’m dancing and making out with the 28 year old. It turned out to be one of the best nights..she was the half owner of a PR firm and took me home to her mansion to fuck. When we were stripping down she asks me if she should leave on the red thigh high hooker heals—OF COURSE!
you have no respect for women, i feel sorry for any women who happens to meet your sorry ass
mummy&daddy must be very proud of you
Ugh..guilty as charged as I made this mistake before…
post… come on. girls from 4 different nationalities approached a guy who already was with another girl? although copenhagen is a pretty international and open minded location… i am sure such a thing didn’t even happen to casanova. this is all so made up. nice storytelling though.
DC guy here, was talking to girl at the bar, she wasn’t giving me openings, and turned to talk to someone else. Another girl stepped into the gap to get a drink and bumped into me. I opened the new girl and took her home.
Sometimes, you just have to eject.