One reason I hate MySpace is because it makes it too easy for a girl to get a maximum amount of attention while putting in no effort. The distance between herself and you, a potential suitor, is so great that screening you out is her default move. One reason I don’t get email addresses is because it’s too easy for the girl to reply when she feels like it. She receives attention from guys and takes her time writing back even if she checks her email every 10 minutes (I guarantee you she does). One reason I don’t like coffee dates is because she doesn’t come to the date ready to perform or please. Instead, she wants to relax and let you make her feel warm and fuzzy inside over a non-alcoholic beverage.
A female blogger writes:
I LOVE coffee dates. They are totally casual and can be either long or short, depending on your shatter mode.
Exactly. Let me ask you this: have you ever first made out with someone on a coffee date? You haven’t — in fact, no one has. I don’t even see lovers making out in coffee shops. It just does not happen. When a girl wants to go on a coffee date, she is basically saying either she is not trying to hook up with you or does not want you to escalate your game. Safe and comfortable for her means late night masturbation for you. She gets to practice dating and feeling wanted on your clock.
If you don’t make out with a girl when you first meet her, you failed. If you don’t make out with her by the first date, you are a complete sucker. What are you waiting for? Be a man, get her in a bar, make her laugh over a couple drinks, and step up. If you are under 21, get a smoothie, go for a walk, sit on a bench in front of some pond with ducks, put your arm around her, and make it happen. If you are not making out with girls by the first date, you need to seriously work on your game. It doesn’t matter how old you are. If you think making out with girls by the first date is “too fast,” then you are a hopeless beta who probably doesn’t go on dates anyway.
1. If you are reading this, you are on the new server.
2. I added a Top Commenters list at the bottom of the right column. Roissy is current king.
3. I added a contact form link under my email.
4. Now when you make a comment on any post, you have the option at the bottom of being emailed when a new comment comes up. Probably best on older topics or if you don’t visit all the time.
I know everyone thinks of love as an emotion, but I have never been the romantic type. To me, love is very logical. No, I don’t mean people behave logically when they are in love. I mean what makes people fall in and out of love is very logical. Allow me to explain.
Although many people aspire to be more unconditionally loving toward their fellow man, let’s be honest, there are people we like, people we don’t like, people we love, and people we hate. As we meet people throughout our lives, only an extremely small percentage ever win our love. Why is this?
Actually, it’s very simple. We each have our individual needs and desires. When we meet people who fulfill our needs and desires, we like them. If they do a damn good job at it, we fall in love with them. This may make love sound very selfish. Well, there is a good reason for that: love is selfish. If we get what we want, big time, we fall in love (as long as we don’t mind giving back what they want). If we don’t get what we want, or don’t want to give what they want in return, love doesn’t happen.
It’s all very logical. In fact, it can even be expressed as a mathematical formula.
Let’s say a man like Roosh has the following wants in a woman:
1. Nice ass
2. Beautiful face
3. Does not waste his time playing games
4. Does not demand he spend his hard earned money on her
5. Makes interesting conversation
6. Stops making interesting conversation and leaves after sex is over
Then his love formula is:
Nice ass+ Beautiful face+ No games+ Good convo+ No snuggling = Love.
Since this woman doesn’t exist, he hasn’t fallen in love lately.
Let’s say a man like Chaco has the following wants in a woman:
1. Nice ass (hey, great minds think alike)
2. Cute face
3. Highly intelligent
4. Shares mutual interests and outlook on life
5. Gentle disposition devoid of drama
6. Is respectful of Chaco’s need to be The Decider
Then Chaco’s formula, like Roosh’s, is all those things added together = love. Since Chaco has met a woman just like this, he is in love.
Therefore, love is not some random event that strikes us when we least expect it. It’s actually quite predictable according to the formula above. When two people meet who match each other’s formula’s, a deep bond will form.
Understanding this formula is critical for keeping relationships strong. So many couples that fall in love end up falling out of it. Half of all couples who get married and take vows to love each other forever not only end up falling out of love, they often become bitter enemies.
The love equation explains this perfectly. When people start out dating, they usually try their best to win the other’s affection. Men are generous with their money, dress their best, shower women with compliments, and try hard to please sexually. Women wear their best outfits, spend extra time on their makeup, laugh at all of his dumb jokes, try to seem impressed with his ‘power job’, and also try hard to please sexually.
After the relationship has been going on for a while, or worse, after marriage, it’s a different story. Now the partners stop trying in the same way they used to. They get lazy and think that their prior feelings or solemn vows will sustain their relationship. This is a fatal mistake.
Once you recognize that love is based on a very logical formula, it should not surprise you that if you stop trying, the person who used to love you won’t any more. If someone fell in love with you because you matched an equation that looked like:
Cute+ In shape+ Fashionable clothes+ Sweet personality+ Hot sex = Love…
But now you are now like:
Plain+ Out of shape+ Frumpy clothes+ Annoying nag+ No sex = Pain in the ass…
Then I assure you it’s 100% predictable that your relationship will deteriorate and the love will be lost.
Men, you don’t get cut any slack here. If you once matched a formula like:
Handsome+ Buff+ Sharp dresser+ Generous+ Confident leader+ Dominant sex = Love…
But now you are like:
Soft+ Sloppy dresser+ Cheap bastard+ Pussy-whipped beta+ Lame sex = Loser…
Then it’s certain you will be divorced and financing your ex-wife’s trips to Paris with her new lover.
So let’s take the mystery out of love. No more being astounded when the love of your life loses its passion. No more demanding to be loved when you no longer provide what your partner wants. Love is not something you are owed, it is something you earn. If you are in a relationship and want to keep it strong, figure out what your partner values in you and never stop providing it. As long as you match your partner’s love formula, keeping their love is natural and automatic.
For the past year I have been looking for a desk that serves my unique needs:
1. Multi-purpose functioning that uses innovative technology.
2. Saves valuable space in my child-sized townhouse bedroom.
3. Allows me to masturbate on my bed without squinting at the far-away porn action on my computer monitor.
My needs have been met with the Ergopod 500 Workstation, which I have just purchased.
Simulated photo of me in my new Ergopod
Please pray for me that the cloth strap doesn’t break and send my 19-inch CRT monitor crashing on my testicles.
- Via aboutcolonblank.
The NY Times ran a story about how for the first time ever, 51% of women are not living with a spouse. But take a look at the first picture.
A lonely woman with a cat!
Cat ladies typically start with one cat until they add “just one more” enough times to have dozens and dozens of cats who sleep in sinks and defecate in bathtubs filled with gravel and sand. I predict a cat lady epidemic of catastrophic proportions in the next thirty years because of the strange phenomenon whereby American women look for a husband after their physical prime. I love cats, but I fear how they will be treated by spinsters that even human beings don’t want to deal with. There will be government animal units that specialize exclusively with removal of cats and the cat lady overlord still glued to her feces infested rocking chair.
Many of you reading are destined to be cat ladies, but now with my Cat Lady Early Detection Quiz, you can get help before it’s too late.
Cat Lady Early Detection Quiz
1. Do you think a cat is a suitable emotional substitution for a man?
2. Have friends or relatives given up asking you when you are going to get married?
3. Are you so scared you will not have kids in time that you have casually looked into adoption web sites?
4. Do you like rubbing your hands through luxuriously soft and furry materials?
5. Do you hug your pillow and cry yourself to bed, wishing a man with a heartbeat was next to you?
6. Have you ever broke off a serious relationship because you wanted to party all the time?
7. To land a man, do you feel like you may need to “trick” him?
8. Do you look forward to marriage so you can finally eat entire pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream in one sitting without guilt?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, I have some bad news: you will end up being a cat lady. Mainstream medicine and psychotherapy has not just caught on to the cat lady problem, but I have personally developed a program which will save you in just one session. Simply email me with your photo and I will suggest a local bar near your place where we can begin your treatment. Dress sexy.
A colleague of mine handed me a book written in 1970 called 365 More Ways To Say I Love You, a sequel to what I’m guessing was a successful book. It’s intended for women to better please their husbands.
Because this book is no longer in print, allow me to share some of its advice.
Be available. If you’re cooking dinner, reading a mystery, balancing a checkbook — forget it. Burned roasts, unsolved murders, and bounced checks are as nothing when it comes to keeping your man happy.
This is what I’m talking about. While I don’t look to women for happiness, I’m more likely to spend time with one who understands that my needs are just as important as hers.
Get some of that sexy new breast make-up and experiment. Beauty doesn’t stop at the neck, remember.
I’m not sure about this one. I think I’d be freaked out if I got a mouthful of rouge instead of teet.
When you’re all alone with him, don’t be shy or (heaven forbid!) inhibited. Be free to say and do anything you think might give him pleasure.
Unfortunately women have trouble understanding that if a man is pleased in bed, he will go out of his way to give that pleasure back. There should be no reason for girls to ask for pleasure before giving it first.
Try doing without the assistance of a bra — at least at home. Very sexy, this.
As long as your breasts don’t sandbag to your waists, I see nothing wrong with this piece of advice.
Make home movies for your strictly private viewing.
It’s amazing that something written in 1970 could so accurately describe what most men still want today. Too bad modern girls have so many trust issues that it takes either months of commitment or borderline alcohol poisoning to get sex with her on tape.
Ways To Say ‘I Love You’ That I 100% Agree With
Take belly-dance classes or learn to strip like Gypsy or brush up on your tap dancing. Do whatever turns him on. There are kinds and kinds of adult ed.
Hide in the closet naked when you know he’s going to hang up his tie.
On Bastille Day, devote yourself to thinking up new ways to storm his defenses.
Use his swim trunks for the flag on a sand castle you two build on the beach. Better make it a very private beach!
Forget how to say “What did you say?” Always try to listen hard the first time he says something. That business about him feeling ten-feet tall has to do with your making him think his every word is a gem.
Renew his subscription to Playboy.
Bring him some banana bread at midnight. (It’s in your cookbook under ‘B.’)
I love banana bread!
Ways To Say ‘I Love You’ That I Don’t Really Care For
Sneak out at midnight and get him three king-sized cheeseburgers at McDonald’s to celebrate the Feast of the Three Kings.
Call Pan Am and reserve seats for the easiest convenient moon flight. Might be a fun way to celebrate your fiftieth anniversary.
Suggest he grow a beard or moustache in honor of the bearded President Lincoln’s birthday.
Invite him to take you to a hamburger stand. They’re not crowded in February, and besides, they’re cheap and fun. Men love to take us out, but they hate to spend money.
Write to the head of the Institute of Linguistics at the Center for Advanced Study in Behavioral Sciences in Stanford, California, if you want to find out how to say “I love you” in Usarufa, White Tai, Terena, Amuesha, or Mazatec. Show the letter to your man. He’ll think you’re awfully inquisitive. But cute.
Put a note in his shorts saying that the pleasures of a temporary affair are nothing like the pleasures of living with him.
Trace his front teeth with your finger.
Offer to lick the envelope enclosing the income tax.
Tell him you’ll wear your hair in an Afro if he finds it aphro.
Put a special note inside one of his hub caps. The day he finds it, he’ll love you all over the map.
Send him a postcard saying, I’m glad you’re here a couple days before you leave for your vacation. Address it to your chosen vacation spot.
Have his best character traits set in type at the local print shop. With his name at the top and a handsome frame, he’ll love it.
On Armistice Day, patch up the slightest quarrel you might have had with a Western Union I-Didn’t-Mean-It-Gram.
Thirty-seven years later and we’re in a different time where treating men well and catering to their needs is seen as old-fashioned and archaic — but I know that the current system of pumping and dumping (by both sexes) into your 30′s and 40′s to hold out for a perfect mate is one that will lead to the destruction of our species. Unless you want to make pumping and dumping the end and not just a means, like me, you’re probably better off just marrying the first person who accepts you and your many flaws.
On each individual post there are now previous and next post links at the top so you don’t have to click back to the main page to browse through new comments.
I’m starting to outgrow my shared web hosting plan so it’s just a matter of time until you come here and get a “This site has been suspended” message. In the meantime I make regular backups so your precious comments are not lost. I’m looking into other hosting options ($$$).
I need to learn how to salsa as quickly as possible, somewhere in DC or Maryland. Money is no object. Any recommendations?