For everyone: TED talks. Short and long lectures from a bunch of really smart people. Check out the ones by Malcolm Gladwell, Dan Gilbert, and Barry Schwartz.

For the ladies: a picture of me beating my meat.

For myself: a 3.5 pound laptop. My desktop and I had a good six year run.

This one is cool too.

I never have done drugs, so there are a lot of things about drug use that confuse me. But what confuses me most are how people do coke/ecstasy/meth/whatever to get high but don’t think about the crash into depression that comes after. The crash is as much a part of the experience as the high, but nobody ever says “I am going to get high and then get depressed.” People just talk about the high part.

Actually, drugs are not the point of this post. I bring them up because I have noticed a similar phenomenon when it comes to relationships. There is a lot of wanting to get high but ignoring what comes after. More specifically, I have been noticing lately that people desire mates with certain qualities, but never think that there may be a downside to those very same desired qualities.

There are quite a few examples of this. My favorite example of late is when women seek a professionally successful (and therefore wealthy) man for a husband and then express great frustration when he is too busy to spend quality time with the family. Did you read the recent news articles about Goldman Sachs year-end bonuses? Those guys don’t get anywhere in an I-Bank like Goldman by leaving at 5:00PM every night to be home for the family dinner. Want a man with a chance to make partner in a top law firm? Those guys don’t make partner by insisting on time off for PTA meetings. The vast majority of jobs that pay big money also expect you to bust your ass in exchange for all that wealth. Why doesn’t it occur to women that the hot shot MBA who is going to buy them that fabulous Georgetown townhouse isn’t going to have extra time for his son’s little league games?

Men have their own issues with not wanting what they thought they wanted. We know men tend to be attracted to youthful women. I think if you took a survey of men and asked what the ideal age for a wife would be (and you promised you would never reveal their answers any women), I am sure most would say age 18 is perfect. That is, as long as she turned 18 within the last month. But what’s funny is that men who successfully land a young hottie then become driven to near madness from her immaturity. I have been guilty of this myself. In the past few years I have dated some women in their early 20′s and then complained to friends about xyz ridiculous! stupid! childish! thing they did. The usual response from guys is usually something like, “Put that bitch in her place yo!”. The usual response from women is usually something like, “What did you expect, you idiot??” With hindsight, the ladies have a point. Guys, if you like ‘em young, go for it, but don’t expect a college girl to show sound and prudent judgment in dealing with you. Expect an impulsive kid raised in an age of instant gratification who was spoiled rotten by excessively indulgent parents.

I could go on and on. Ladies, you want an assertive alpha male with a strong backbone, right? Funny how that alpha male transforms into a macho jerk when he disagrees with you and stubbornly refuses to back down. Fellas, you want that club hottie who wears fashionable sexy clothes? Funny how she transforms into an untrustworthy slut when she flirts with all the club players who hit on her. Ladies, do you like metrosexuals? Funny how they don’t seem so endearing when they insist on different choice of dinner flatware. Ok, instead you want a man’s man who knows how to change a tire just like your dad could? Funny how he think spending all weekend watching football games on TV is a way to spend quality time at home (wearing tapered leg jeans with white sneakers, no less).

I think people would be a lot happier in their relationships if they learned to accept that with every desired quality comes a downside to the very same quality. I am not saying those downsides are a party, but nobody should be surprised when they appear.

1. No good deed goes unpunished. Yesterday I posted a picture of a seemingly happy couple, complimenting the guy on his game and the girl on her looks. Turns out the guy is gay (he fooled me) and his friends are getting uppity, all because I complimented his pussy-getting ability. Whatever. They are obviously new to the internet with their “you have no life” arguments. Next thing they will tell me that are “it” people in DC or something. Sorry my life is isn’t going to Fly every fucking weekend to party with the same fucking people. Please teach me how to be cool.

2. A girl who I refused to go down on publicly reacted to my post on Tuesday by basically saying I have mommy issues. I wrote something spiked with venom that was ready to crush her but I decided to put it aside. I have no choice but to defend my honor if she continues the psychobabble.

3. Both Kathryn and V shut down their blogs today. The DC blog community as I know it is over, and I fear the brain drain has just begun.

This man appears to be relaxed and comfortable. He has put in a little work to his appearance with the facial pubes and the hand jewelry, but it doesn’t look like he is trying too hard. He is not making any weird facial expressions or camera-pointing gestures. His hands are comfortably wrapped around the girl’s body.

Other than an awkward claw position for her left arm, the girl attempts to get as close as possible to him, as if she wants everyone on the internet to know they are an item. The thing that seals the fact that this man is a player is that her crotch is almost against his crotch, something that is uncommon when posing for pictures with lady friends. I would guess that his game is at an advanced level for being able to pull a pretty girl from the majority race.

I have no clue when a girl orgasms or not. Unless she tells me, your guess is as good as mine. I know there are some signs like a sudden change in vocalization (e.g. “I’m coming”) or a request for a one-minute break, but it’s impossible to be certain unless I ask. And while I’m curious how many multiple orgasms I did or did not give in a 30-minute period, I don’t ask.

If I ask, I’ll start focusing on her pleasure instead of doing my own thing, which — if I hear from her again — is good enough. The moment I try to please her is the moment I’ll end up pleasing both of us less.

P.S. I have not gone down on a woman since 2003.

I feel sorry for women because all guys want to do is fuck them. I think my interactions with the human race would be more negative if I was viewed as genital organ with a life support system built around it. It would bother me as a girl that I’m constantly fed bullshit and lies. “But not all guys are like that!” Yeah and those happen to be the ones girls usually don’t want to fuck.

While I’m no different from most men, I like to think I leave girls better than I found them. I gave her this pleasure (emotional, physical, and spiritual) that stays with her for at least a month, sometimes longer. I help raised the bar for future men she dates. I gave her hope and experience. She doesn’t realize it at the time, especially when she runs into me when I’m with some other broad, but I made her tougher and stronger. The next time she meets a guy like me, she’ll be better prepared to play him and get more of what she wants. Smashing and dashing really is win-win for everyone involved.