In Medellin I was the old guy on campus. Even when I wasn’t taking classes I’d go there on certain afternoons to study Spanish and hit on girls. Some American women may say that’s disgusting and pathetic, and who knows maybe it is (laugh), but I can assure you there is nothing disgusting or pathetic about slamming a college girl that looks 16-years-old.

I want to talk about how to deal with the intense, sometimes brutal flakiness that college girls put out when trying to get them out on a date. This post isn’t about meeting them because it’s just as easy as any other girl, perhaps easier because of their bubbly and free-spirited nature.

I’ve only dated a couple college girls in the States as an adult, and sure they were unreliable, but the flakiness exhibited by Colombian college girls (and Colombian girls in general) exceeded anything I’ve ever seen in my life. I became so accustomed to it that even if I had a date I proceeded as if I didn’t. There was a 50% chance the girls would either cut off all contact on the day of the date or send a cancellation text message a few minutes before it was supposed to start—and that’s if you’re lucky (I’ve had guys tell me the girls didn’t cancel until they were already waiting at the bar). Days go by after the cancellation until they tell you a laughable excuse on MSN Messenger.

I’ve tried to work many different angles. Being patient with the girl doesn’t work. If you accept getting flaked she will just flake on you again (this one girl got me three fucking times). Being aggressive doesn’t work. You look desperate and scare the girl off. Being angry doesn’t work either, because why should a girl care if you, some guy she hasn’t even made out with yet, gets mad at her flakiness? There is only one option left: fighting fire with fire. You must be flakey yourself.

You don’t want to use the fire strategy on a college girl who isn’t a flake, so it’s best you get flaked on a lot to be able to identify the flake’s unique characteristics. But let me get you started: generally speaking if the college girl is hot and has a large social circle then she’s a flake. If she is a no greater than cute and has few friends, then she probably isn’t.

Now set a date like you normally would by asking her for a drink a day or two in advance. If she agrees, tell her you will call her that afternoon to set a time but are thinking around 9pm, for example. Then when the day of the date rolls around, simply don’t call or text her.

If she attempts to call or text you towards the evening that means she got anxious about going out with you and wants to ask if the date is still on for the night. Pick up the phone or text her back and set up the time as usual. (If she contacts you way early in the afternoon then it’s to cancel—don’t respond.)

If she doesn’t call or text you, that means she didn’t give a shit about you enough to see if the date was on or not. Bummer.

Only do this with flakes! This is a technique you don’t want to introduce to a girl who is going along with the river’s current, as it may fuck things up.

For flakes you need to put out a strong “I don’t give a shit” vibe, and nothing does that more than simply not confirming a date when you said you would. It’s by no means foolproof, and doesn’t prevent a premeditated flake, but it’s the best available tool I have come up with that hits her with the right aloof vibe while making her do at least some of the work.

P.S. If you liked this post then I think you will like my book Bang, a collection of simple but powerful techniques, moves, and lines that make it easier for the average 20-something man to be more successful with women. Topics in Bang include discussion of the alpha male, effective opening lines, conversation themes, getting phone numbers, detailed dating strategy, and much more.

Complimenting the book is my Game Tips Newsletter. It's free and your first newsletter will be about how to meet girls in coffee shops. Following that will be newsletters on dealing with flakes, handling cockblockers, and meeting girls in foreign countries, among others. Your email address will always remain private and you can unsubscribe at any time. To subscribe put your first name and email address below and click the button.

The following is a guest post by my partner-in-crime Virgle Kent.

Man, on Monday I haven’t seen that much heat on this blog since I told a hipster chick that the band Grizzly Bear was slightly overrated—that one didn’t end well. Roosh wrote something about American women not showing enough interest when it comes to needing men and how the western culture has broken them, and I’m just paraphrasing there but for some reason this got me thinking on my normal chicken and the egg thought process of game and gaming. Now just follow me for a second.

Let’s say you spit game to a pretty girl and she’s very receptive, touching, laughing at all your jokes and at the end she gives you her number. You call in a couple of days and she picks up on the first couple of rings (yes this is DC, shut it). After quick conversation you set up the date and she shows up without flaking or even being “fake late” (yes, still in DC). The date ends with a make out and by date two she let’s you hit (I’m sorry DC, “Beat the pussy up”). Now after that nothing really changes, she hits you right back when you text, picks up phone calls or calls back as soon as she’s available, and sticks with plans. If you want a relationship she’s down, but not too pushy about it. My question is if you had a girl who knew how to “act right” in public or when you’re alone, and was generally a nice girl, would you still use as much game on her as you do with other girls?

By now if you’ve been hitting the DC streets you already know what’s up, you know the truth is that game works best on bitter women who believe that game can’t work on them. The jaded ones who’ve survived and been through oh so much are too wise to fall for silly alpha lines as they’ve developed anti-game to combat your game. These women are the ones who are serially pumped and dumped. Since women like this are too messed up to have relationships with once you’re anti-game radar goes off, go for the notch and be out faster than Snooki’s vagina when a Tiesto beat comes on (what is that beef jerky).

Although we could blame Western culture on the bitter girl who chose the pursuit of career, education and weight gain over not settling with a reasonable guy early, understand that the first girl who responded well to all your advances without putting up much of a front is the same girl at one who is ice cold and jaded—they are just at different times in their lives.

Guys get so used to running game all the time that it almost becomes a dating crutch. A script we follow down to the exact detail. If you overgame a girl who is open and already into you you’re just making it harder for the next guy that comes along after you because now he’s going to have to game her twice as hard. It compounds and builds and by the end she hates herself for liking guys like you. Gaming never really goes away but I do think there are certain times it’s not needed as much as one thinks.

This does remind me of this one time last year back when Roosh was being stalked by this psycho poetry chick that wrote a Valerie Solanas type S.C.U.M Manifesto. At Brazilian night on a Thursday I met one of her girls—she had an Israeli vibe going on and a phatty you could see from the front. I got her phone number and the next night she invited me to stop by her coffee shop where she would be working. She brings up Roosh and goes on to start talking all this shit about him. “That guy is such an asshole, he’s so pathetic, all that game shit doesn’t work, no real girl would give him the time of day, what a loser, blah blah blah blah.” By then she already knew about his blog from poetry girl.

I sat quietly and let her run her mouth for a minute or two enjoying my free food until I smiled and asked how long she’s worked at this coffee shop. She said a couple of years. I asked if she was working here sometime back last Spring and she said yes. I told her I remembered her because Roosh and I used to come in on Saturdays and sit in her section to get some work done. The reason I remembered was because Roosh flirted with her and got her number using standard waitress game, with lines he had used many times before. Her face turned bright red as she had honestly forgot and she was so genuinely embarrassed she begged for me not to mention anything back to Roosh.

There’s a lesson in that one somewhere.

When you’re talking to a B girl and she asks for your Facebook or Orkut name before the interaction is over, the interaction will soon be over. While she is curious about you, she’s asking because she’s ready to dip and meet other people. What you gotta do is say, “Yeah sure, but let me go to the bar/bathroom real quick—hold on,” then walk away quickly before waiting for her response. Your best bet is to use scarcity to reengage later, but odds of recovery are slim.

There’s a psuedo-rock club I go to where the Brazilian guys have zero game. They don’t approach and even when a girl likes them they find a way to blow it by chasing too hard or saying something like, “If I was a girl I’d wear those pantyhose too!” So what always happens there is I’ll be talking to a B girl and I’ll hear the guys speaking English in a mocking manner near me, but never loud enough so that I can make out what they’re saying. And then I run into them and I look them in the face and I say, “Were you saying something in English earlier? I couldn’t hear it.” They put on a fake smile and ask me where I’m from, but then when they walk away they’ll again mutter something unintelligible. I don’t blame them for hating because I am taking their beautiful women out of circulation, but they should reconsider their strategy of putting so much energy into me than on the women.

Sometimes you’ll get the partial cockblock when a girl persists in hovering around and not letting you isolate her friend. If she’s cuter than the girl you want, all you gotta do is engage her instead, insinuate that her friend is nice but not your “type,” and then invite her to the bar to make out with her instead. Of course this assumes that the original girl is being occupied by someone else. The strategy of making out with the cockblocker works in cultures where the cockblocker is not automatically a disgusting pig (e.g. United States). If you’re wondering why not go for the cockblocker instead, it’s because B girls have friends scattered all over the club and you may have invested in a girl based on incomplete information.

I’ve found that talking to the ugly B girl of the group to get to the pretty one rarely works. What happens is the pretty ones will back off and let her friend “have” you. B girls don’t seem to like competing for guys like American girls do. Perhaps they take their friendships more seriously maybe.

If a B girl is super fluent in English, and hits you with sarcastic or witty jokes, then you need to ramp up the dial on your cocky game and assume she is like an American girl, because she basically is. And when she calls out one of your jokes or teases as offensive, yet still stands there talking to you, keep doing it you big stud.

There is a lot of prejudices against Americans in Brazil, not just from the millions of American guys that come for sex tourism but also our way of imperializing the world. Even though Brazilians like English and American entertainment, most will tell you without hesitation that they prefer British or Europeans more. I can see the disappointment on some girls’ faces when I say Eu sou Americano. Fuck ‘em.

A B girl asking where you’re from is like an American girl ask you what you do—it doesn’t mean she’s interested. She needs to dig deeper than that before you can say she’s into you.

I used to think that it was better to tell a girl you’re staying for many months instead of say a week, but when you’re somewhere for a short time you have a built-in urgent storyline and can get her in bed faster well before she flakes out. I used to lie and insinuate I’d stay a long time (or at least be vague about it), but now I don’t bother. Since 99% of B girls you meet in the club would never consider a long-term relationship with you, there is very little advantage is saying you’re staying if you’re not looking for a long-term relationship yourself. Some girls like it that she can have sex with a guy who is going to disappear forever. Don’t underestimate the value of semi-anonymous sex.

“Apparently, he was not totally ignorant of one of life’s great secrets: women don’t look for handsome men, they look for men with beautiful women. Having an ugly mistress is therefore a fatal error.”
—The Book Of Laughter & Forgetting by Milan Kundera

Not being needy is important because it shows girls you’re already getting what you, well, need. Girls want sex from men who are already getting sex. Despite every girl’s protest to the contrary, the more partners you’ve had the better, because each vagina you’ve demolished acts as a seal of approval of your worthiness. What better way for a girl to screen out new dick by finding out many other girls lined up to take a ride on it?

The reason I know this is fact and not mere conjecture is the large number of girls I’ve banged who knew about my blog beforehand. If you ask these girls a straight-forward question about sleeping with a guy who has had many partners, 100% would say they hate it, it’s gross, the AIDS, etc., but yet they have done it with me, and I’m certain I’m not the only “exception.” Even girls who have found out about my blog after having sex end up returning for seconds. In fact it’s a guarantee she’ll come back, even flying internationally to do so, because now she experiences a self-esteem boost knowing that she’s fucking a guy who is successful with women.

End conversations early. Cancel dates. Be late. Appear disinterested. Don’t lean in. Stop trying to kiss her all the time. Don’t tell her when you’ll contact her. Don’t say you’ve been in love. Don’t talk longingly about your exes. Don’t console her. Take days to call her back after first time sex. Don’t ask for her opinions. Be insensitive.

All these behaviors show you’re not needy, that you don’t give a fuck. They convey to the girl that you can get away with doing these things because you’re probably already banging and she better shape up if she wants her vagina to be demolished as well. There’s no shortcut to this: you can’t just tell a girl you’ve fucked a lot of girls and expect her to be turned on. Insinuate instead, and be rewarded handsomely.

When you’re in a foreign country and unable to communicate perfectly with words, or cultural differences make it hard to show value or humor, not being needy will be the cornerstone of your game.

P.S. If you liked this post then I think you will like my book Bang, a collection of simple but powerful techniques, moves, and lines that make it easier for the average 20-something man to be more successful with women. Topics in Bang include discussion of the alpha male, effective opening lines, conversation themes, getting phone numbers, detailed dating strategy, and much more.

Complimenting the book is my Game Tips Newsletter. It's free and your first newsletter will be about how to meet girls in coffee shops. Following that will be newsletters on dealing with flakes, handling cockblockers, and meeting girls in foreign countries, among others. Your email address will always remain private and you can unsubscribe at any time. To subscribe put your first name and email address below and click the button.

My roommate from Denmark was locked out of his room the other day and waited in the kitchen for the landlord to deliver a spare key. I cooked dinner in the meanwhile and we got to talking. At some point he asked me, “Why are you here?”

—

“Everyone keeps asking me that and I wish I had a quick, powerful answer, but it comes down to two things: wanting to explore, something I think most men want to do, and wanting to get away from the American way of life. I really can’t say which one motivates me more to be here.

“In America you go to college, which you’re told is supposed to be the most fun years of life, and then you get a job taking orders from some pencil dick in this grand mission to chase money and accumulate stuff. I don’t need stuff—all I need in life is a laptop and good speakers. I’ll be happy anywhere because it’ll keep me busy. I can write, read, listen to music, stay in touch with friends and family… I don’t need more than that. Now I date girls young enough who think that type of lifestyle is ‘cool,’ but if I ever want to have a family some day I’ll probably have to make some changes.

“I don’t want to work 40 hours a week doing the same thing to be insulted with a 3% raise and a pat on the head every year. I don’t want to count down the days to the weekend where I punish my liver because my week was so lifeless. I don’t want to wait until Saturday to take a book to a coffee shop and lose track of time. In college they should sit you down on your first day and say: ‘Ladies and gentleman, your mission in life is to make the days of the week irrelevant.’ What day is today? I don’t know. Days of the week are bar and club names for me now, places I know are good. Sunday: Casa Rosa. Wednesday: Casa da Matriz. Thursday: Democratica. Saturday: Rio Scenarium. I feel like I’ve made it because I don’t care what day it is.

“Americans are lazy but they’re not. When it comes to money they’ll work like fucking mules. You’ll never see someone put in as many hours as an American, kiss ass like an American. They’ll do anything to make that extra dollar to get that plasma television or dine in some frou-frou restaurant that got a good review by some idiot on the internet. They’ll grin and take it in the ass when the boss asks them to stay in on Saturday morning a month before performance reviews are due. They will work and barely complain when you tell them they can’t take a long vacation. Hell, even if you give them a lot of time off they wouldn’t know what to do with it. They’ll take a trip to the Caribbean or some pre-programmed cruise to be trapped with a bunch of whales, one handshake from projectile diarrhea.

“When it comes to anything else Americans don’t want to lift a finger. I mean look at heath care. Americans think it’s pills and MRIs. Why aren’t many people connecting the dots between the American diet and health care? Americans eat like pigs, look like pigs, get sick with diabetes, heart disease, god knows what else, and then complain that health care is too expensive. Their lifestyle makes it expensive. Don’t get me wrong I believe the government should provide free health care for its citizens, but exercising four times a week is my health care. Eating vegetables, cooking all my meals, avoiding junk food, drugs, stress—that’s my health care. I probably spend more hours a week on my health than on making money. Americans don’t cook or simply take care of themselves because they’re too tired from making money. They want to pop pills with side effects to keep eating ‘comfort’ food and sit on their asses. After putting in a tough eight hours or more with the man that’s all they have the energy to do.

“And the women… ‘I don’t need a man. I’m independent. I don’t need a man, I got my own money, my own job. I don’t need a man.’ The result is that an American girl thinks it’s weakness to show a man how much she needs him. I don’t know if you had a corporate job in Denmark, but dating an American woman is like dealing with coworkers. They’re very careful with what they say. Every laugh is meticulously orchestrated—she must’ve laugh too hard now or you may think she thinks you’re funny. Every word’s use was analyzed and judged—she mustn’t show too much interest because that’s weakness. ‘Shit I just showed too much interest I have to be cold now—let me make fun of him about something.’ I’m lucky I’ve spent enough time down here to know that that simply isn’t real. That’s not how women, as in women of the human race, really are. Those American girls are basically programmed to be more distant than their nature. And they wonder why they’re so unhappy. Nature is a powerful thing, and you’ll always lose when you go against it.

“The other night I went out with this Brazilian girl. Very cute girl, a few years younger than me. It was our second date and we went out to some gringo bar and after our first drink she looks at me and says, ‘If you were leaving back to America right now, I’d come with you. I’d take a chance and do it.’ Other Brazilian girls have done and said similar ‘weak’ things, and Colombian girls as well. And that’s real, because the nature of a woman is she needs a man. These girls here understand that. They don’t hide it, and I don’t punish them for it. A girl that knows she needs a man, that that’s the point of her existence, will treat men very well. She’ll pleasure him, make him happy, hold onto him a little tighter at night. You think an American girl will ever say something like that?! If I tell an American girl some of the things that the girls down here have said to me, she’ll be shocked, ‘But but that goes against the book! They’re showing too much interest! They’re showing weakness!’

“You remember that American girl I brought back a couple weeks ago? Okay I know I’m in Brazil and fucking an American girl looks bad, but truth is American girls have become perfectly designed for easy, meaningless sex. It’s like one step above jerking off… no emotions, just business—like getting with a prostitute. It takes just three hours to get them in bed, and you’re fucking her for the first time and she says cunt this, cock that, like she’s in a porno movie, because she watches that too. I just met the bitch and she’s moaning that she likes how much I’m beating her pussy up! Look that’s fun, like how jerking off with your left hand is fun, but it’s not normal. A normal girl will be quiet the first time, will be self-conscious, will wonder if she’s pleasing you properly or not.

“The Western culture has broken the women. A girl wakes up and she’s 30 and has no man and no hope for a man, yet she already passed on several who didn’t give her the tinglies or butterflies in her stomach or whatever the fuck term she uses. Because of course the culture gave them this sense of entitlement as well, to think that with mediocre looks and ten extra pounds they can get a hot stud like they see in the magazines in line at the grocery store. And then they get old and have to compete with younger and prettier girls. They can’t win. They won’t. So what do they do? They throw themselves on young guys who still value older women as ‘experienced’ and ‘mature.’ But those guys age and get a clue, and then you see the woman going on 40, working hard at the gym, desperately trying to fight the sag, bragging that she fucked this college guy. What a miserable existence.

“My parents aren’t American but in the end I’m a product of that culture and it takes a lot of time and effort to fight the programming —to do what nature intended you to do. Unfortunately I think I’ll always be tethered to America. My family is there and I can’t even talk to my mom on the phone without her guilting me into coming back and taking care of her, even though she doesn’t need taken care of. I don’t know… I’m going to go back and the first month is going to be great with my family, and my friends, and then after that they’ll be nothing for me. I don’t fit in there, and I don’t exactly fit in anywhere else either. What am I going to do in the States—get an American girlfriend? Get a 9-5? Fuck that. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

In A Dead Bat In Paraguay I wrote:

While packed in the procession dancing along with my friends, Skol beer in hand, I realized how much worse Carnival would be if I didn’t know anyone. I wouldn’t know which blocos to pick and there would no one to tell me what the Carnival songs meant. And I definitely wouldn’t know that the cloudy white liquid in plastic bags shaped like condoms were caipirinhas. For foreigners who come alone, I don’t see how Carnival can mean anything more than getting drunk with a strange crowd.

The main feature of Carnival is the street parties called blocos. It usually starts as a prosession led by either a truck full of speakers or a band in a train car. Samba is the music of choice. They stick one song on repeat (if you’re lucky they change it up after a dozen or so plays), and a crushing crowd follows the lead car. Then the car stops and everyone focuses on drinking and talking. That’s Carnival.

The result is you go to a bloco, have a few beers, pretend you’re having a great time to another culture’s song and dance, and then go to another one. Carnival is basically drinking cheap booze with the mob, to music you don’t know or understand.

The crowd is so thick that if you lose your friends you’ll have problems finding them again. It’s unbearably hot and sweaty bodies will be pressed against you like in a game of pickup street ball. While the actual blocos are free, you have to pay five times more for already crappy lodgings. Gringo gouging is common.

As for the girls, most hang out in huge groups of friends, and at the blocos they run into even more friends. While you can pick up in a bloco, they are not designed for you to do so. Do you think a quality Brazilian girl celebrating her country’s prime cultural event with a dozen friends wants to hook up with a gringo who doesn’t speak Portuguese? Most of the hooking up happens within the social circle, so if you have no Brazilian friends you’re at a huge disadvantage.

The clubs are mostly empty at night because everyone is so tired from drinking during the day. Therefore it’s actually much harder to bang a Brazilian girl during Carnival than any other time. I’ll be in Rio for my second Carnival and I’m already preparing for a week of no new poon or going out. I plan to get some writing done and it’ll probably be my most productive week of the year.

In fact I have yet to meet someone who can explain to me why Carnival is worth it, but of course no one wants to say straight-up that it blows. But it does. Besides the colorful samba parade, which is great but only a few hours long, Carnival is a steaming piles of marketing bullshit designed to part you from your money. You won’t get laid, you won’t like the music, you won’t like the crowds, and you definitely won’t like the cheap booze. I really like Brazil, but I dread another Carnival.

New Years Eve is more of the same but with a pretty fireworks display. Save your money.

What a pleasant surprise this city was after waddling through the north of Brazil. A tip in the forum told me that it was a hotbed of Brazilian poon, so I decided to stop by for a night to check it out. I left ten days later.

The good: the female to male ratio here is extremely high and it was rare to be in a club with more guys than girls. The girls are beautiful and you can spend all night hitting on pretty ones without having to lower your standards (it’s continued experiences like this which make it impossible for me to permanently live in an American city besides maybe New York or Miami). It reminded me more of Cordoba, Argentina than anywhere else. Since Vitória is not a tourist destination you’ll likely be the only gringo in the club.

The bad: the girls are hard and snobby at the well-to-do clubs where attractiveness is highest. Out of six nights out I only got grimey on one, which for Brazil is not very good. The girls of Cordoba got far more excited at my gringo status than the girls here, and I’m nearly certain that Cordoba was in fact easier. Many girls here didn’t give me a chance or indulge my bad Portuguese for more than a minute. It wasn’t common to meet a girl who speaks English like I always do in Rio.

Another problem is there are no cheap accommodations—no pousadas or hostels. If you’re stopping by for only a weekend than stay at the pricey Ibis Vitoria hotel (R$125-155 a night), which is within walking distance of clubs in the posh Triangulo district. After a couple weeks of lodging in cheap pousadas the Ibis felt like a luxury penthouse.

If that’s too expensive for you then you have to head to sketchy centro a couple miles away, within walking distance of favelas. There your best option is the Cannes Palace, a clean hotel with wireless internet, air conditioning, and mini-fridge. It’ll set you back R$69 a night. If that’s still too much, then try the run-down Hotel Avenida two blocks away from the Cannes (Av. Presidente Florentino Avidos 347, tel. 27 3223 4317). It’s R$55 a night for their best rooms but you don’t get air conditioning or a fridge.

The key to not breaking the bank here is to go to clubs before 11 for their “happy” specials. Let me explain how it works. If you get to the club late you pay something like a R$40 or more cover and then drinks on top of that, but if you get there early then you pay R$50 for consumação, or consumption. This means your entire R$50 contribution goes towards drinks, which equals about six caipirinhas or three Johnny Walker Blacks. It’s almost like paying cover but drinking for free.

The most popular club in Triangulo is Casa (“Home”), which gets packed starting on Thursday night. Next door is Escritorio (“Office”), a bar owned by the same guy (start drinking at the office then continue at home—get it?). Most girls here are absolutely brutal but I won’t say it’s impossible. There are a handful of clubs nearby and they all seem similar. On weekends the streets pack and form a little bloco, making for fun street game attempts.

My top club recommendation is São Firmino, half a mile away from the Triangulo. It’s packed with girls that are slightly nicer than the ones in Triangulo but just as beautiful. This is where I got a little lucky, partially thanks to there being more girls than guys early on.

An alternative to Vitória is Belo Horizonte, the state capital of neighboring Minas Gerais. I haven’t been there yet but from what I read it seems like a larger version of Vitória but with nicer girls and a hostel. I also hear good things coming out of Porto Alegre and Brasilia, where being a gringo carries higher status than in Vitória and definitely Rio, which I believe is going through gringo fatigue.

I can’t say Vitória is better than Cordoba or Rio because of the accommodation problem, but with clubs that consistently pack them in and an excess of beautiful (but difficult) women, it’s worth your time if you don’t mind spending a little bit of money, especially since it’s only eight hours from Rio by bus. If you’re conversational in Portuguese then this is a must-visit city, as you have a decent chance of pulling.

If you liked this post then I think you will like my travel memoir A Dead Bat In Paraguay, about when I quit my job and sold my stuff to try and bang my way across South America. It contains my experiences with South American women and the struggles that crushed me both mentally and physically. Called "refreshing." "honest," and "inspiring," A Dead Bat In Paraguay is available in both eBook and paperback. Check out the homepage to watch the introductory video, read exerpts, or learn more about what's inside.

Here’s an email I received recently:

I’ve recently realized it’s usually a bad idea to ask a chick for her phone number.

1. If she’s truly interested, she will ask you!

2. By asking her for her number, you are raising her status in the interaction between the two of you.

3. Getting her number gives her reassurance that she doesn’t need to sleep with you that night because you are already into her enough to want her number.

4. If you know you will never ask a girl for her number unless she offers it, you will quit spending so much time overanalyzing your time with her, wondering how to manipulate the interaction to get the number.

1. Many girls do, but not all, including girls that you can get out and fuck on the first or second date. By keeping this rigid rule you cost yourself notches, plain and simple.

2. Not by as much as you think, especially when you preclude the number ask with “you seem cool.” Understand that most women of the world like confident guys who make the first move. I’m convinced that my aggressiveness and persistence gets me laid more than my awesome jokes. Don’t confuse those qualities with neediness or desperation.

3. I don’t see why this is relevant when you only get the number after you’ve tried all you can to hit that first night. Many of the numbers you get should be on the steps of her house or in the narrow dark alley right next to it.

4. I agree with you for guys who only think in numbers. But if your interaction with a girl is cut short, it pays to ask.

Let me put it this way: say a very low 1 out of 50 numbers you get results in a bang. And the time it takes to get a number is 20 seconds. And the time to call or text that number is 60 seconds. (80 seconds x 50 numbers = 1 hour of time). Is it worth one hour of time spread out over weeks or months to bang an attractive girl?

Of course, especially when you consider that one hour is at least the amount of time you spend jerking off in a week. Fact is one hour is a drop in the bucket. Get numbers all the time after you’ve already pushed the interaction as far and long as you could. Don’t hope to meet those confident girls that can ask. Not only is that as much luck as game, but those aggressive “in charge” girls have slept with tons more guys than the more timid ones. Every now and then I still like seeing the girl grimace upon initial penetration.

Not every man has to approach to get laid, for there are lifestyle choices you can make which allow the women to come to you. While it’s rare to meet a man who has tight game but never approaches, taking on a lifestyle “gimmick” will make it easier for every guy. Here’s some things you can do which eliminate the need to approach:

1. Bartender, bouncer, or promoter. This is where women have to interact with you. With game and personality it’ll be very easy to take these normal interactions to the next level since your high value is already assumed. Even though bartending is manual labor and something that a monkey can do, girls are incredibly impressed by it. I left out DJ’ing on purpose because while women do approach you, it’s not as common you think. You’re unable to communicate with her and she gets bored and goes right back into the crowd to get grimey with another guy. Unless you’re a world-class DJ, you’ll get scraps.

2. Musician who performs in live shows. It doesn’t even matter if you’re in a good band or not. Simply perform and then have some drink afterwards with the commoners. Girls will compliment your show or ask you a question about a song that touched them deeply. It doesn’t matter how many panties get wet with your music but you won’t get anything unless you mingle after the show.

3. Surfing instructor. You’re the expert not only in surfing (getting nice views of her body as you push her into waves), but also in the nightlife. Try to make tentative plans to meet up at night or merely make a strong recommendation for the spot you’re going to. You’ll run into her and once liquored up she’ll be rather easy. Seen it a million times.

4. Tour guide. Again, your expert status conveys high value and as long as you show personality it won’t be hard to get an after-tour drink.

5. Foreign language instructor. The key here is to teach hot rich girls who you normally wouldn’t have access to. I’ve heard many stories of gringos teachers getting with very hot women that would be extremely laborious to pick up otherwise. To score you’ll have better odds teaching for a large company with group classes than occasional 1-on-1 private tutoring.

6. CouchSurfing host. There’s a Brazilian guy I met that has a CouchSurfing profile but only replies to requests by cute girls. He has accumulated quite a few flags this way because as you know girls traveling alone willing to stay with a random man is probably down for that random cock.

Others gimmicks worth mentioning: Studio photographer, pool lifeguard, and cable repairman.

Every now and then there is a weird gimmick that you wouldn’t think helps a guy out. For example the guy who works as a waiter in the family-owned pizzeria for the summer at the beach gets laid like a champ. The main idea here is finding something where girls have to interact with you in a setting that shows your value, then turning on that charm. You won’t have to do any cold approaches again until the goose dies.

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Definitely Rio de Janeiro, maybe São Paulo and Florianopolis. If you come to Brazil chances are those are the cities you’ll visit first. But how about after that? Besides Amazon jungle tours or a visit to Iguazu falls, it’s not obvious where to go if you want to dig deeper into Brazil. So what I ended up doing was starting all the way up north in Fortaleza and in a month’s time worked my way down to Rio (traveling around 1,700 miles by bus).

Here’s where I went…

Fortaleza:

A large, plain city with several decent beaches to choose from. If you’re on a budget then head to the sketchy Praia de Iracema beach, which has rooms starting at 55 R$ (divide numbers in Brazilian reals by the exchange rate, which as of this writing is around 1.72). Get off on Avenida Beira Mar facing the beach and bargain with the over dozen hotels clustered nearby. If you have more money to spend then head to upmarket Praia do Futuro a couple miles away.

The great thing about Fortaleza is that the nightlife is easy to find. Simply go to Dragão do Mar, an area of bars, nightclubs, and restaurants within walking distance of Iracema. From Thursday through Sunday you’ll find something happening. Nearby Dragão do Mar is Mucuripe (Rua Travessa Maranguape, 108), a megaclub that has three different dance floors, including one that played decent house and American hip-hop when I went. The cover is 30 R$ and the girls have attitude, but it’s not bad for a visit.

Speaking of the girls, I’ve never seen so many husky women as I have in Fortaleza. It’s as if they’re all spawn of football players, which is interesting because the men appeared normal. While the women tend to be overweight with hammy arms, it’s their wide build which was most disturbing. This was the first city I visited after Rio, so the downgrade in attractiveness was shocking and took a bit away from the Brazilian woman mystique.

Natal:

Cleaner and smaller than Fortaleza, Natal has earned its spot in guidebooks as a city with tours around neighboring sand dunes and pretty beaches. The most common tour is the six-hour day trip up north to Genipabu Beach (60 R$). I hear trips to southern beaches are also nice but beware that all these excursions are extremely touristy, and if you can find an agency that rents buggies and has a decent map you may want to consider doing it yourself.

Praia Ponta Negra is the quaint tourist beach with clothing shops, modern restaurants, and a nightlife center. I stayed in Pousada Recanto das Flores for 50 R$ a night, a clean option located only one block away from the beach. I didn’t get to experience the nightlife but it’s around Rua Bezzera in Alto de Ponta Negra. The girls were cuter than in Fortaleza.

Praia de Pipa:

Further south you have Pipa, a beach village with laid-back hippie vibes. There are several nice beaches within walking distance of the center including Praia Madeiro, which is good for surfing (lessons and board rentals on the beach). On the main drag check out the restaurant with the big “Açai” sign for great sandwiches and… açai.

For nightlife there is usually something going on around Oz Music Bar starting late on Wednesday night, but on Thursday nights more people head to the beachfront in front of the reggae club. A block down from Oz (to the right towards the beach), there is a club with a hidden entrance that usually fills up on weekends. If you want to get laid here your best bet is to hit on the traveling gringas. They’ll be obvious to spot and you can open them with something like, “I have a feeling you speak English.”

The Brazilian girls that live in Pipa tend to be of the tattooed and dredlocked variety, but since this is a tourist destination you’ll get lot of well-maintained rich girls from cities nearby, though they’re usually traveling with family or significant others.

I stayed in the modern Pousada Rivas for 50 R$ a night. It came with a ceiling fan but if you pay a bit more you can get air conditioning. It was the best Pousada I’ve stayed at, with a nice pool, friendly family vibe, and a huge breakfast buffet that came with a great selection of juices, fruits, breads, cakes, meats, cheeses, and other goodies. I think the buffet is worth a stay here alone.

I greatly enjoyed my time in Pipa and definitely recommend a visit. It’s safe, offers good value, and is a refreshing break from the bigger cities.

Recife:

Besides being known as one of the most dangerous cities in Brazil (and for that matter the Americas), it also has the most dangerous beach. Environmental damage over the past two decades has destroyed food and breeding grounds for bull sharks, and they’ve responded by coming closer to shore and attacking humans. The local government has pretty much given up on the problem and is trying to turn the state from a beach spot into a “cultural” destination. The only culture I saw in upmarket Boa Viagem was dozens of streetwalkers, especially on the weekend, though people tell me I should have gone to colonial Olinda where most dirty backpackers stay.

Your nightlife options are the expensive asshole clubs scattered around Boa Viagem like U.K., Audrey, and Nox, or the commoner clubs in old town like Downtown and Burburinho where the quality is poor. All leave much to be desired.

If you visit Recife, and I recommend against it, stay in Piratas Da Praia for a budget option (35 R$/night) or Bamboo, a comfortable hotel for old gringo guys (75 R$/night). The latter allows you to bring guests back at no extra charge, but beware of the bar—all the girls that hang out there are professionals.

Salvador:

What an overrated piece of shit city. It’s literally one big favela that is not worth more than two hours of your time. Leave your bags at the bus station, visit the historic center, and then get the hell out of town to a place that’s not so dirty or dangerous. Or just watch the movie Cidade Baixa.

It’s the only city in Brazil where I didn’t feel safe walking around during the day. To give you an idea of how bad it is, at the hostel the clerk gave me a map and marked half of it as areas that I shouldn’t go to, leaving just a few square blocks that I could explore without surely getting robbed. If you insist on staying here for more than a minute, lodge in Barra instead.

I can’t wait to meet hippie gringos who tell me with a smug look on their face that they’re going to Salvador to experience “a more authentic Carnival.” I’ll respond by saying, “Let me guess, you’ve never actually been to Salvador.” You’ll like this city if you love to romanticize about poverty and note how starving little kids seem “so happy,” a month before you go back to your first-world lifestyle. Asshole.

Ilhéus:

A rustic city seven hours south of Salvador by bus, Ilhéus is often used by travelers as a waypoint to the beaches of Itacaré 90 minutes away, but I was beached out by this point and just wanted to chop up my trip further South. Ilhéus does have a pleasant small-town feel and isn’t bad for a couple days (reminds me of Tena, Ecuador a bit), but it won’t offer you much in terms of beautiful women or sights. Ask for a seaside room at the Pousada Brisa do Mar (73 3231 2644 / Av 2 de Julho 136) for 50 R$ a night. It’s within walking distance of the center.

Other Northern cities I’d visit if I had time and will:

Jericoacoara: Only two hours away from Fortaleza by bus and 4-wheel Jeep, Jeriocoacoara has a beautiful beach located in a fishing village, with good conditions for wind sports and surfing. It rivals Pipa in terms of hippie vibe.

João Pessoa: Along with a decent beach, I’m told this city has pumping nightlife on the weekends.

Maceio: Another choice for visiting nice beaches (see a pattern yet?). Nearby Praia do Gunga is supposedly the most beautiful beach in Brazil.

Here are some related topics on the travel forum:

• How To Prepare For Brazil
• Carnival In Salvador
• Beach Game Strategy
• Florianopolis Tips
• São Paulo Tips
• Good Country For Girls And Lifestyle?

In conclusion, the north of Brazil has some nice beaches and decent value, but it’s rougher and doesn’t have Brazil’s most beautiful women. For that you have to start in Minas Gerais or Espirito Santo, the two states north of Rio, and work your way south (I’ll have more about my visit to Espirito Santo in the future). Unless you got money and time to blow and want to learn about Brazilian culture, I’d skip the north.