The first time I went into Grand Central with my wingman, this girl gave me a smile. She wanted me to approach but her appearance was disagreeable. Thirty minutes later she gave me another smile but I still didn’t bite. Finally she decided to take matters into her own hands when she slid up next to me at the bar. I was more intoxicated by then and open to talking to her, but no way I was having sex with her.
She gave up after a while because I kept giving one-word answers to her questions. She went to sit down next to her cuter friend, who VK took a liking too. Thirty minutes later he told me he wanted to get the friends number real quick and then we could leave. I tagged along and sat at the table.
The girl who liked me was half German and half Japanese, but unfortunately she was born in the United States so there was no flag consideration. Her face was all sorts of bad—she didn’t really have a chin and I couldn’t hold eye contact for more than three seconds. This would be like a negative notch.
I was being a good wingman until my beast said to me, “God you’re so hot I just want to kiss you.” Fellas, if a girl tells you that you’re hot, you are way out of her league. Only “cute” is acceptable. I knew this but earlier in the day I checked my budget spreadsheet and saw that my cost per notch was just above my $50 goal for the year. If I bang this beast tonight, mission accomplished. So I banged her. I put a Turkish flag on her face and did her for my Mom’s country.
After the deed was done, I looked at the clock and it was 1:30. My ride, the Metro, closed at midnight (it was a weekday) so I was stuck until the morning. I got up at 7am, looked at her face, and felt like dog shit. And I’m not being dramatic—I had to think of all the pretty girls I’ve dated to make myself feel better.
I stopped by McDonalds for a post-celebratory bang treat of a Sausage, Egg, and Cheese McGriddle. It was tasty and took my mind off the beast bang (the maple syrup is built right into the pancake buns), but I remembered why I stopped going to McDonalds during each of the three times I visited the toilet that day. I deserved loose stools after what I did. At home I couldn’t even look my little brothers in the face.
I stooped low just to say I accomplished a goal that was experimental in the first place. The only thing a low CPN proves is that you are dirty and can get one night stands. But I already knew that about myself in the first place. Getting laid on the cheap is nice, but where’s the emotional connection? Where’s the passion? Where’s the game growth? Where’s the self-respect?
My CPN for 2007 will stand for eternity at $45. Its neon yellow box has been deleted from my spreadsheet.Tweet Follow @rooshv
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“This would be like a negative notch.”
ha. the “botch”.
it’s funny, but when a guy is way out of a girl’s league, specifically a girl who is blissfully unaware of her market value, she will come on strong to him like a guy would to a girl. but because women are not accustomed to being the pursuer, their aggressive sexually-charged flirting is amusingly inept. in those situations, one word answers, $0, and an unzipped fly will get you insta-notch.
haha ‘her appearance was disagreeable’.
“The only thing a low CPN proves is that you are dirty and can get one night stands.”
I applaud you on this. I’m sorry you feel guilty about your experience, but think positively. You obviously gave “the beast” a magical time and you learned a lesson. You’ll never have to bang an fug again.
only thing a low CPN proves is that you are dirty and can get one night stands. But I already knew that about myself in the first place.
So you didn’t really learn anything new about yourself? Ugh don’t bang girls just because. That’s so trashy. If you didn’t like her, you should’ve just made some excuse for not having sex. Said you drank too much or something and couldn’t get it up.
I don’t feel sorry for you. In fact, I was laughing with a slight tinge of disgust as I read this. (i hope you used protection.)
This made me think of a line from a Lily Allen song ‘Sorry, love, you ain’t a pretty picture’
People without chins freak me out.
This is not going to make people want to attend Summer Love at Grand Central!
funny stuff……..dont think of it as bad experience, instead think of it as expansion of standards (on the low end)…..meaning if you are ever in a situation where you have to bang to save your life……you could do it…next test is prison rape…you should be able to adapt much easier now to sex with any “beast” :-)
out of the park, yet again! :) quality.
id like to suggest an alternative – to the *close you did: you should have played it like Seth in boiler room when he got a newspaper salesman on the phone with a weak pitch (salesman being sold, ~ you being gamed)
it starts something like “SETH:
That’s it? That’s your pitch? You
consider that a sales call??!
then he goes on to talk about sales, and basically school the guy a bit.
imo you could have made a friend that night and an ok post, instead of a cheap notch :) and a great post.
Thanks for the wingmanship. Her friend was hotter than a mother though. I think I more than returned the favor on Saturday when we met up with those Brazilian mommies. Your “summer love” was a pure bread. Mine was German/ Brazilian, spoke three different languages, and was here for 6 months with the World Bank.
The broad was still busted, looking like Helga on crack. But we do what we must do in the name of the game and to respect the game. You lucky bastard!
“… where’s the emotional connection? Where’s the passion? Where’s the game growth? Where’s the self-respect?”
How about, “Where’s the decisive moment when a man stops justifying his actions with silly rhetorical questions?”
While I definitely have a love/hate relationship with this blog- I respect that you are confident enough to share your experiences and question your own actions and beliefs. I think we all have moments in our lives where we do things we aren’t proud of- these actions make us reflect on the way we are living our lives and give us the insight to make beneficial change.
Too bad you chalked up the “botch” (word to Roissy), but props for detailing the experience and reasoning behind it … a lesser blogger would’ve lied by omission. Way to man up.
Nowhere is it written that a wingman must sleep with a fugly to neutralize the potential cock-block. Your job is to fall on the grenade, not fuck it. Damn kid, you really have hit rock bottom. Now go out and land yourself a quality girl…wait, you’re in DC…uhm…never-mind.
I did laugh through this whole thing. There’s just not enough SC&L to get me to sleep with someone that I am completely unattracted to…but i’ll read about someone else doing it all damned day!
DF (et al– I welcome all the boys to respond to this):
So what’s the deal with this absolute hostility towards women who live in DC? I could take a stab at a few likely reasons– hyperinsecurity about the involvement of sexuality in power dynamics; materialism and other status-seeking behaviours (though is it really worse here than in other big cities?); and perhaps an annoying insistence on maintaining strict p.c. gender norms. I’ll also grant you that on the whole, women here seem less attractive/more generic than in other big cities– but that applies to DC men, too, and I’ve certainly met enough exceptions to keep me satisfied. I’m curious as to what kinds of ridiculously, consistently awful romantic encounters you must have had in this city to render you such an unabashed generalizer. Seriously, where do you hang out?
Give the guy a break. He took one for the team — we all have at some point in time. My days of hooking up with unattractive women, however, ended many, many years ago back in college.
As for what he might have learned, it’s apparent from this post, as well as many of his recent ones, that the whole concept of random hookups is starting to lose its luster. I completely respect this change in perspective, since it’s for the better, namely, QUALITY over QUANTITY. The next step is finding the one woman of such high quality that most women pale in comparison. That may be a long time in coming, but at least I’ll be entertained while reading about it.
Nikita, my comment was in jest but given the complaints I’ve heard I knew there would be an interesting reception to my post. DC’ers can comment better than I can because I’m in NY, where our douchebaggery is positively correlated with market performance. Humility and introspection are usually products of a recession or market correction.
DF– haha, touche. I naively agreed to visit friends on the Upper East Side last weekend, and after enduring repeated references to “the Preppy Handbook” and thirty-six hours of hubris-infused cocktails, I jumped the first bus back to DC and reveled in the dingy solace of my humble neighborhood watering hole. DC may be somewhat dull compared to Alphabet City, but it’s reassuring to be perpetually surrounded by unfashionable people who can’t wait to get drunk.
He took one for the team? What team? I wasn’t aware that there was a league for fucking not so hot chicks!
I like how Roosh thinks this somehow reflects badly on the girl. Um, she wasn’t the one who slept with someone below her ‘status.’
bunifah: she had no game thats the part reflects badly
Perhaps making roosh think she had no game was her game.
Dude, this story is fucking disgusting. I can’t believe you actually stooped so low as to eat a McGriddle. For fuck’s sake, man, they’ve got stuff stamped into the pancake. You don’t eat that.
The problem with this whole story is a failure to evaluate the cost-benefit. This has been gone over here before, of course. Basically the benefit was getting your nut with a stranger on a weekday. The recognizable costs are your depression of your self-image, understandable but probably short-term and irrelevant, and the opportunity cost of not spending your time otherwise. So, let’s see. You imply the night was getting old and you were heading out anyways, which means the chances of better game were probably slim. In this context, getting sweated by a skank probably did not prevent you from banging a more appealing partner.
So if this sex did not prevent better sex, what did it prevent? Getting a better night’s sleep? Playing video games? Catching up on late night TV? A proper cost-benefit analysis, if the girl was proper horrible, may actually find this to still be a negative transaction. Thus, you must look for value addition. Perhaps she wants you so bad she’s willing to agree to a threesome. Maybe she’ll do A2M. You don’t know. These are the venues you could have explored. And if she didn’t go for it, you would have been out of sex you didn’t want anyway.
Instead of bemoaning the fact that you slept with a she-beast, you could be boasting that you have phone-camera footage of you getting blown on the Metro with an octogenarian drunk giving you a high-five. Remember, opportunity doesn’t knock twice, and it doesn’t like to leave the package at the front desk either.
I think he went below his status based on looks and she went below her status based on giving a guy any of her time when he had so obviously blown her off earlier. They both could have done better. Also along the lines of doing better, the sex was obviously not good either. That’s a shame. If that girl was going to stoop to fucking a guy who wasn’t even interested, she should have turned it out proper. I guarantee Roosh would have thought more kindly of her.
He took one for the team? What team? — Bunifah
RooshV wrote — “She gave up after a while because I kept giving one-word answers to her questions. She went to sit down next to her cuter friend, who VK took a liking too. Thirty minutes later he told me he wanted to get the friends number real quick and then we could leave. I tagged along and sat at the table.”
I admit he didn’t have to sleep with her, but he did so that’s that.
it’s funny, but when a guy is way out of a girl’s league, specifically a girl who is blissfully unaware of her market value, she will come on strong to him like a guy would to a girl. but because women are not accustomed to being the pursuer, their aggressive sexually-charged flirting is amusingly inept.
Oh man, isn’t that the truth. I’ve been in those scenarios first- and second-hand. It’s funny, but also kind of sad really. You think to yourself the whole time, dear god I hope I don’t act like this when I’m talking to women.
It makes me feel like Jesus from the Big Lebowski. “This is bush league psych-out stuff. Laughable, mang!”
“she went below her status based on giving a guy any of her time when he had so obviously blown her off earlier”
lisa, this is the kind of contortionistic sophistry that does nothing but muddy the waters. the very act of her degrading herself by practically begging for sex from a man who could hardly be bothered to give her the time of day is a dead giveaway of her lower status relative to his. the fact that roosh eventually slept with her after, it seems, much mentally agonizing cost-benefit analysis, doesn’t equalize her market value with his because the bar is set very low indeed if your only criteria is getting the guy to stick his dick in you. even the top alphas will occasionally dump a fuck in a beast.
Hey man, as Zino Davidoff put it – “consume less, but better”.
As far as girls go, I’ve tried to live by that standard since I was 25 or so.
I only bang dogs now when there’s a friend joining in, or she lets me make a video, or something wacky like that. It’s just not worth it otherwise, as you’ve just seen.
“The bar is set very low indeed if your only criteria is getting the guy to stick his dick in you.”
Roissy, how is it any different if your only criterion is getting a girl to let you stick your dick in her? Neither approach involves quality filters; the bar in both cases is a shared willingness–albeit minimal– to fuck.
“how is it any different if your only criterion is getting a girl to let you stick your dick in her?”
men are polygamous
men are chosen
sperm is cheap
eggs are expensive
women are picky
men are indiscriminate
spread the seed
hoard the egg
Oh, I see! It’s a basic supply and demand equation:
Pussy is basically a limited resource, and penises are numerous and insatiable consumers. While the relative desirability of different pussies may vary, insofar as two pussies can be consumed or used in place of one another, low-standard pussy is as much a substitutable good as margarine for butter. Furthermore, the fact that one pussy is substitutable for another has immediate economic consequences: as long as one pussy can be substituted for another, demand for the two kinds of pussy will be bound together by the fact that penises can trade off one pussy for the other if it becomes advantageous to do so.
Good God, Roissy. You must be a fucking genius.
OMG you mustn’t lower your standards –
Only eat the Egg Mcmuffins
“Pussy is basically a limited resource, and penises are numerous and insatiable consumers.”
numbers are not the crux of the issue. after all, there are technically more pussies in the world than penises. what matters is the relative demand for each; that’s what sets the price. the demand for each unit of penis is weaker than the demand for each unit of pussy for very obvious biological reasons (for example, one penis can impregnate many uteri) and the market prices, through the dating mechanism, reflect that.
“low-standard pussy is as much a substitutable good as margarine for butter”
if i were a gourmand, i might substitute margarine in a pinch, but for the long haul i’d prefer my meals use rich irish cream butter.
“the fact that one pussy is substitutable for another has immediate economic consequences”
this is a good frame of mind for a guy to have when playing the field, and one i recommend any man internalize, but it is not entirely true. women have sexual market value just like men do. all pussy are not created equal. a man will sufficiently lower his standards for a one night stand with an eager woman that requires no effort on his part to bed except the basic minimal mental focus to keep his cock hard. getting him committed to her is another matter.
“You must be a fucking genius.”
does it bother you that you are substitutable?
You haven’t met me yet.
Wapang Nikita! Nice. Roissy, I wasn’t talking about one person’s status in relation to another. I was talking about lowering the status of personal self respect which they both did. As for the girl, no one, no matter how ugly or with what shortcomings, needs to degrade herself the way that girl degraded herself, namely by giving her time to a guy who didn’t value it. And I pointed out that even then, if she was personally confident and capable she could have come out on top of the situation by being an unexpected unbelievably good lay. People can think what they want to think about you and that’s fine, but then show them what you’re really made of. But she didn’t do that.
:thumbup::thumbup: Two thumbs up to the stellar exchange between Nikita and Roissy … Someone tell me the comments here are always this good.
I dropped the ball on those “thumbs up” smilies. Here we go :thumbup:
“You haven’t met me yet.”
“… women have sexual market value just like men do. all pussy are not created equal….”
Roissy, all the above points you made a substantial, esp. the one I quote. However, I wanted to point out that the market value of pussy is somewhat relative. In DC, there are 6′s who are considered 10′s because of their company and who they date.
But you can go into the suburbs and find stunningly beautiful (and natural) 10′s who carry themselves like 1′s because they’re from a different class of people and date trash. So class plays into market value as well.
Anyone ever met a society woman and though “Ewwww! I can find better at the 7-Eleven slurpee machine any Saturday!!”
I implore everyone:
Try not to use or take advantage of anyone under any circumstances (regardless of their level of attractiveness.) What the world needs are more decent people who can say no – and do not take advantage of or prey upon others for their own selfish desires….not very “cool” and rather “square” concept, but give it a try.
Try to be a decent person for a change.
This fuck brought your CPN below 50, to its 45 as you say now.
X = notches
First calculation for CPN of exactly 50.
X * 50 = (X + 1) * 45
(X * 50) / X = (X * 45) / X + (1 * 45) / X
50 = 45 + 45 / X
5 = 45 / X
X = 9
If the CPN was 90 before this fuck, its a different story altogether.
Great blog. Wonder what your book is like.