Russian Girls

I can not pull a Russian girl to save my life. I have been to at least seven Russian parties in the past year and I’ve pulled nothing except American. When I try to talk to them, they stick with monosyllabic speech that leads to nowhere, instead of engaging me in conversation that helps me gain access to their vagina.

My Russian roommate, an expert on matters such as this, says the cold attitude of these non-Americanized Russians is not so much snobbiness as it is insecurity, “They are intimidated by Americans and don’t feel confident when having to talk in English.” It has to be cultural because I’ve spoken to many other girls where there was a language barrier and I didn’t get this feeling that hacking away at permafrost in Siberia would be more interesting.


Let’s not forget the good: Russian girls are hot and thin. Sure when they get older they look like a can of Coke, but I’m sure it would be easy upgrade before that happens. To all the men banging Russian girls: God bless you; you are like glorious iron fist of strength and power.

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