This is a guest post from respected forum contributor kindredspirit.
Famous explorers were worshipped as fearless adventurers who roamed the world in search of distant lands, exotic spices, and golden treasures that strengthened empires. Upon their return home from successful voyages, grand feasts were thrown in their honor by the crown. They kept women in every port and lived life to the fullest, and returned home to enjoy the warm, missed embrace of the women they were truly in love with. They could once again spend time with their children and friends, regaling them with stories of new civilizations and lands. These men of the sea would receive the rest, relaxation, and comforts of home needed to nourish their weary bodies and souls.
When the domesticity of home became suffocating and the pull of the unknown frontier started tugging at their heart strings (and loins) once more, they would raise the sails for a whole new voyage filled with freedom, sex, adventure, and discovery. This sailor-explorer lifestyle modified for modern times is the best model I have found to cure the following age-long dilemma of men throughout the world:
How to balance the cozy, warm security of being in a committed relationship with the recurring need for new sexual conquests and romantic excitement? How to balance the peace, tranquility and domestic comforts offered by home with the yearning to explore new lands, meet new people, and embrace new opportunities?
I believe the key to such balanced happiness is to find the right woman to settle down with who can understand this lifestyle and give you the freedom you need when you need it. It can work if you are determined enough, worldly enough, and yes, financially well-off enough. Here’s a few upsides to this way of life:
1. You are not shitting where you eat. You are faithful to your woman within the national boundary of the country in which you reside.
2. You are not keeping long-term mistresses nearby. The negative energy and drama caused by the daily deception needed to acquire and maintain mistresses would likely kill your primary relationship. (See Tiger Woods for how things can spiral out of control.)
3. You and your primary woman will miss each other with the time spent away from one another. Any lack of longing will let you know that the relationship you have with one another is valueless.
4. Even with children, this model allows the two parent family structure to remain intact while allowing you to get release from the daily grind of stifling domestic boredom or the semi-castrating feeling of being seen as an asexual “daddy.”
5. Living abroad alone in a new country with the freedom to do what your heart desires makes one feel like a man. Taking risks, exploring new lands, conquering new women, meeting new people, and embracing new opportunities is what we were born to do and allows us to truly feel alive.
6. The time spent alone on the road allows you to better appreciate what you already have: a woman who loves you, children who care for you, and all the other comforts of family life without having to throw it all away just to be single. This is especially important for warding off the cynicism and jadedness towards women that can arise when one spends all of his time as a lone wolf constantly hunting for new pussy. For those times you do feel lonely or get rejected, the knowledge of having your primary relationship back home will sustain you and give you strength.
Sometimes, all a man wants is to experience the freedom of being single again, to have the ability to hunt freely without looking over his shoulders. For many men in their 30s and 40s, the actual fucking is not all that important as is the delight of seduction and conquest.
7. You are not proposing something weird that most women would reject, such as becoming swingers, proclaiming yourself to be polyamorous, or proposing an open relationship.
8. Three to four months by yourself in a new country can teach you a lot about how the world works, make you more confident and independent, and open new doors. Think of it as the study abroad experience you might have never had, except now with the wisdom and resources to do the things you could never do in your awkward youth.
Of course there are some downsides to this model as well:
1. It costs a lot money, especially if your primary stint takes several months.
2. A woman can generally feel when you’re straying, and she may not remain faithful if you’re away for too long. Therefore the relationship has to be something you’re willing to lose, but this is how men should approach every relationship anyway. It may hurt like hell, but you have to be willing to cut her off from your life and she has to know that you are capable of this. Understand, though, that having a child with your primary woman will make it less likely that she abandons the relationship due to your prolonged absence.
3. It may become difficult to justify spending 3-4 months every year in the capitals of the world for “business.” The ideal woman back home should have something akin to the following attitude: “Do what you need to do. I don’t really want to know all the details. I am just happy you come back home to me a better man.”
4. You may fall in love with a newer, younger, hotter—maybe even better—woman. By this time you will hopefully know what “better” really means and be wiser to the ebbs and flows of a new relationship (hot in the beginning, warm in the middle, with a fast drop off after 3-4 years once the sex gets old).
In other words, just because you’re fucking your new foreign girl night and day does not necessarily mean she is the right woman for you. However, this admittedly strays a bit too close to dangerous territory as relationships with women abroad that go beyond largely sexual, hormonal-driven flings may have a significant effect on how you view your primary home relationship.
5. Your job may not be location-independent. But if it is not, you can work towards making it happen.
6. With the internet, any new women you meet in these distant lands may want to keep in touch with you when you go back home. If this becomes daily contact in the form of e-mail, chat, and phone calls, you would be in spiritual violation of number two above (not shitting where you eat). I believe it would be important for you to have your flings and leave them as just that—romantic, passion-filled affairs that are in your past. Be the good lover or boyfriend when you are back home.
7. If you have a family, three to four months is a long time to spend away from them. Children need a steady father-figure in their lives. Though on the bright side, when you do return home, I believe the time spent away will make you appreciate your children a lot more.
One possible idea is to have a “family-oriented location” where you, your primary woman, and children can also spend time abroad together exploring and enjoying a new land. The family-oriented locale would serve as a complement to your “single-man” oriented international locales. This way, your family would not feel like they are constantly being left behind while you go on foreign adventures alone. To a certain degree they too can now enjoy the international lifestyle you have adopted.
8. You don’t want to have to start all over again with new friends, a new place, and new women every single time you hit the road. It may be worth finding a few favorite places and building up a network in each location so that you can re-visit them with greater ease and convenience. People feel psychologically reassured by routine and familiarity. You don’t want your life to be perpetual, jet-lagged chaos.
With a little tweaking, a model of old can serve as the lifestyle foundation for men of our generation. While it’s not easy to accomplish, the benefits it offers would make it far more superior than the stressful and unfulfilling lives that many men lead today.Tweet Follow @rooshv
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This has been a work in progress idea of mine for a while.
Do 7 years in the RAF. See the world.
Then either work for PMC, the WHO, or enter academia and be a ‘locum’ (ie traveling teacher)
Great pay, get to travel the world. If I happen to acquire some interesting anecdotes, experiences and exotic poon on the way, great.
I like it if you are a single guy but if you plan on having a family and raising kids then this life is not something I can agree with. No pussy overseas is worth losing your family for overseas.
I like it if you are a single guy but if you plan on having a family and raising kids then this life is not something I can agree with. No pussy overseas is worth losing your family for.
“Even with children, this model allows the two parent family structure to remain intact while allowing you to get release from the daily grind of stifling domestic boredom or the semi-castrating feeling of being seen as an asexual “daddy.” ”
Easy solution: don’t have kids.
Excellent post. The great thing is this can be done so easily now-a-days and you don’t even have to worry about scurvy.
Tim Ferriss + Roosh = KindredSpirit
This makes me yawn. I liked the videos with the robotic voices much better.
A man can easily understand the attraction of this. But the big swinging you know what of reality will hit everyone in the face sooner or later.
You don’t have to be a member of the Catholic Church (I am fyi) to see a lot of wisdom in their teachings about gender relations. Men and women are fundamentally different, but complimentary. The family unit should be one, a reflection of the (triune) God. It is best for both yourself and your civilization to raise children in this environment, hopefully with a good and faithful partner. They are your help, as much of a pain as they can be. This is the greatest fulfillment, which will become obvious by the end of life.
Roosh, you have written in the past about how your game (and I respect and believe in game, but the social dynamic parts of it, not the pro-slut parts) has made you come to despise women more. Is that really the way our life was meant to be?
Our biological urge is to procreate. And, as Roissy rightly points out, context is king.
Sounds like a nice fantasy.
If you’re in 5th grade…
Leaving a family and wife for 3-4 months every year. How nice for them.
Thank you for posting this.
In todays society this is a quite a selfish attitude and a bit unrealistic. Why would any women with an ounce of self respect be content with being left alone for 3/4 months of the year? Your living in a dream world. This isnt the 1500′s for pity sake.
This is completely brilliant! I see the 3-4 month timeframe as being a bit long. I think 1-2 months may be more workable, and can achieve the same goals. Not entirely sure about that though. Brilliant!
Realistically, even most jobs that require lots of travel bring you to boring destinations, or even with a great destination, you’ll always be working. I knew a consultant, and he said he visited exciting places like Indianapolis, etc.
Besides, the countries we most wish to visit are in Eastern Europe, South America, SE Asia and Ethiopia. None of them except maybe SE Asia would be business destinations.
Most realistically, most jobs would require travel to China or something. Now if you had EU citizenship…….
I’ve been a management consultant my entire career, I’m 31 and travel internationally for most of my projects although home base is in DC. Destinations over the past 5 years have mainly been Asia (Japan, China, Singapore) and Europe (France, Italy, Germany, Switzerland, GB).
Although the week is filled with work, it’s very rare that I don’t have an evening to myself to explore my surroundings. Also you have weekends to venture further – especially in Europe where a weekend in Prague, Amsterdam, Paris are all feasible with a 1-2 hour flight – not to mention summer trips to the south of France, Amalfi coast, etc.
Clients pay for my weekly expenses and hotel stays and my costs in DC are low because I’m home only 50-70% of the time.
I must say, if you are independent, adventurous person who is not afraid to be alone – it is a wonderful life. Although I’ve not met the woman to start a family with, the preceding post is intriguing. I would never want to give up my exploration of culture and languages – ALONE – nothing is the same as surviving on your own someplace new and there is no better way to learn a language.
Thanks for this interesting post, it’s given me something to ponder. And for those of you who think this would be impossible to manage – I stand as proof that it is possible from the work/travel side. The wife/kids side has still yet to be solved.
Until then – I’ll chat up the cute German girl who giggles when she speaks English and teaches me all the nuances of the German language.
Musicians (think, Rock Stars) come to mind when I think of the modern equivalent of this example.
They can marry, settle down and then go on a seasonal tour where they go all over the country (or world) and bang groupies in every city.
Williy Wonka’s last blog post: “Sarging”.
I’m trying to figure out something like this for my future.
The types of jobs I’m aiming for would have me traveling a lot, though I wouldn’t be staying in one place very long. The pay would be great though.
Vincent Ignatius’s last blog post: Working With Girls.
Buddy,wake up…you’re Dreaming!
This is the life I’ve been living for the last 5 years. Timeframe is between 2-3 months a year in a Southeast Asian country. I was originally from there.
I’ve had a visectomy after my 2nd child with my wife of 25 years. So no kids abroad. Solves a lot of potential problems.
The biggest issue is falling deeply in love with the other woman. You just cant let it happen. At the end of the day, you have to know how to get back home.
don’t get married. don’t have kids. it’s a choice, not a mandate.
So I assume the woman will be allowed to fuck around while you’re gone?
wow, there are some immature people here.
sow your seed before marriage.
then marry someone who will be a good mother.
have some kids, take care of them, dont be such a loser that you need to abandon your legacy to go stick your 3 inch peeter into thai hookers.
“a man who doesnt spend time with his family can never be a real man.”
@ #8 who stated: “Roosh, you have written in the past about how your game (and I respect and believe in game, but the social dynamic parts of it, not the pro-slut parts) has made you come to despise women more. Is that really the way our life was meant to be?”
This is a double edged sword: Men who despise women are the ones who have met and interacted with many many of them. it’s like taking the red pills from the matrix and unplugging. it’s also quite unnerving and depressing. Reality truly does bite. This is why the typical jack-ass of today who marches off to the gallows of matrimony has very little experience with the opposite sex, as well as the divorce laws. Not knowing women’s true nature is what makes men want to have children. This is where ignorance can be bliss.
@ # 11 who stated: “In todays society this is a quite a selfish attitude and a bit unrealistic. Why would any women with an ounce of self respect be content with being left alone for 3/4 months of the year? Your living in a dream world. This isnt the 1500′s for pity sake.”
I’m afraid the fat lesbo who wrote this is right. Women have no sense of loyalty and would not be too keen on a guy going about traveling the world. Besides, as already mentioned about divorce laws, she can march into court at any time for no reason and then you’ll just be stuck with making divorce payments supporting her and her new found drug dealing piece of shit thug boyfriend that gives her the hardcore physical and emotional abuse that you couldn’t because, as a human being, you do have an ethical line you do not want to cross.
Think about it
[...] Kindredspirit – “The Famous Sailor-Explorer Lifestyle Model” [...]
This is not very true – I read Captain Cook’s Voyages (reprinted from his ship journals) last year – there was a lot of exploring, charting unknown lands, hunger, scurvy, honor back home – but no pussy. At least by his account. It’s true he mentioned some of the sailors got “friendly” with some of the local women.
I see this model as something that can wreck your family – my cousin is a captain of a dry-bulk ship, dude is away 6 months at a time. He is at his 4th serious girlfriend or someting, over the last several years – broads can’t help but cheat on him when he’s not around. And I can see if I were a woman in their position I would probably do that, too.
So – go do your thing when you are young and single. When you do want a family, do it the old-fashioned way and be there by them – they will thank you for it, especially your kids. I am not saying don’t cheat (if you can get away with it) but such a model is not conductive to raising a happy family, because of the kids mostly. Your wife will probably be fine (with the neighbour’s cock’s help) but what about your kids without a father figure for months on end?
This is the exact type of lifestyle I used to dream about when I was in my 20’s – traveling the world like a modern version of Indiana Jones, making money, banging gals from every corner of the world and going on adventurers.
It wasn’t until I was in my late 20s when I finally had the opportunity to work and travel overseas, the second I landed in that airport and my nose was filled with strange odors, my ears with crazy sounds and a visual explosion of everything I was seeing I knew that that was the life for me – it was what I imagine it is like being born.
Now I keep a house back in the US and one in Asia, I spend about half the year (or more) overseas and the other half in the US and I can tell you that I am 100% happy every time I wake up in the morning. I get to bang gals all over the world, go on crazy adventures, see things I used to only see on TV, make some nice coin and have a lifestyle that even old Indiana would be jealous of.
Whenever I am in the states my boys are always asking about all of the stuff I did in the Middle East or Asia or wherever I have been with wide eyes (especially about the gals I meet overseas).
But when I suggest they do the same I get a dump truck worth of excuses of what they cant do the same. And all of the excuses of what they can’t are BS, every single one has a solution but they simply don’t have the guts to make a jump that big in their life.
So if this is the lifestyle you want then just do it – I did
When I first started reading Roosh’s blog it was because he was a pick-up guy living in the same area I did (and I like his insights abut the DC dating scene) but when I read that he was going to start traveling overseas I knew his mindset would totally change and the really good stuff would start coming out here. And it has, bravo to you Roosh for taking the leap overseas with an open mind
When I am back in DC I’ll buy ya a beer
Really cool post, kindredspirit – you have the heart of a anthropologist.
Not everyone is intelligent enough to really “get” Game – there are many confounding factors and logical pitfalls (short-sighted people assume it’s just about the pussy). From reading the comments here it’s obvious who gets it and who doesn’t.
[...] guest poster on Roosh’s blog writes in the post titled The Famous Sailor-Explorer Lifestyle Model that fatherhood is emasculating. I have to say I have no idea where he got such an impression. [...]