Same Thing

I don’t get why a girl would go out knowing she will have on the same clothing or accessories as other girls her age. I freak out when I’m wearing the same t-shirt as another guy, but if you go into any club you’ll see at least ten girls with the same purse. And they don’t seem to mind one bit.

A few months ago I went to Atlantic City and brought along this cheap Old Navy thermal with an eagle design on the front (it seemed so stylish when I bought it). I was wearing it in the Trump Taj Mahal when I saw him: a short, ugly 60-year-old Asian man wearing the exact same shirt. Fuck! I’m not one to get embarrassed easily, but it was the most embarrassing moment of my life. I pretended I was scratching my chest to cover up the design until the Asian man went back to play Pai Gow. For the rest of the trip, I was confused about my identity.

Same clothing sightings bring up the loser question: if he’s a loser and paid money for the same shirt that I’m wearing, what does that say about me? Replace shirts with women and you get the same problem, like this one girl I dated for a while who I’ve seen with nothing but losers. Sure I’m the exception, but seriously, the Senator? With so many clothing options out there in the world, you are a failure as a individual if you are wearing the same things that most other people have. I’m not saying you need to stand out, but can you girls stop sucking Coach/DD/LV’s dick for one minute? Can you white people stop giving North Face 100% market saturation for their cheaply made vests?

I can’t do anything about my ex’s, but I have solved the same-shirt problem: I only shop at Lord & Taylor. None of my peers would dare step into that store. Problem solved!

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