Tapping Into The Hipster Niche

“The hipster movement did not produce artists. It produced tattoo artists. It did not produce photographers, but snapshot and party photographers. It did not produce painters, but graphic designers. It did not yield a great literature, but it made good use of fonts.”Mark Greif

In the USA there still exists a niche where men can find reasonably attractive girls: hipsters. Girls who run in hipster circles are concerned with their appearance much more than the average girl, meaning she will not come out of the house looking like she has given up on life. Most importantly, she’ll be skinny. Yoga chicks and hipster chicks are the last remaining skinny breed of American girl left.

Unfortunately, besides her average weight, the hipster chick will possess a lot of downsides:

  • Ugly prescription glasses
  • Stupid tattoos
  • Complete lack of femininity
  • Unpainted nails, often chewed down to stubs
  • Overconfident even though she’s only knowledgeable about music and fashion
  • Outfits that make you wonder if she’s trying out for a position in the circus
  • Always trying to be witty and ironic

Nonetheless, she’s still better than the alternative, a “mainstream” girl who is 20 pounds overweight, speaks in LOL dialect, and wears flip flops everywhere. Hipster chicks are like the lesser of two very horrible evils.

Now you can’t just roll up to a hipster bar with a stripped shirt from JC Penny and expect to get good responses. You’ll have to make a few cosmetic changes. First, grow out your hair and beard. You don’t have to adopt a Jesus look, but you should not look like you’re about conduct a job interview at Goldman Sachs. Second, buy a couple deep v-necks along with a snug pair of jeans. It doesn’t have to be skinny jeans, but it shouldn’t be baggy in the 50 Cent style. Congratulations, you now have a basic look that will not be objectionable to hipster girls.

One way to stand out from the other hipster dudes without getting a lot of video game tattoos or being in a band is to have some muscles. Hipster dudes are frail with concentration camp bodies, so having a more athletic build—that your v-neck will undoubtedly highlight—will do a better job of tapping into her ancestral desire for a strong man. Just don’t be jacked because hipster chicks don’t like that. Even though hipsters are obsessed with their look, making sure each strand of hair is strategically placed across their face, the trick is making it seem like you don’t really care.

As for what type of game to spit, I’m confident you’ll quickly adapt as you start approaching them. At first you’ll feel unprepared to talk about their favorite venues and music, but after 20 approaches and some basic internet research, you’ll be able to discuss their interests. Other than that you can run your normal game, so there’s no need to reinvent the wheel.

I unwittingly tapped into the hipster niche after buying a $7 white v-neck in Brazil. I came back to the U.S. with my already shaggy hair and scruffy beard and did quite well with them even though they were nothing like the Latin women I was banging in South America. I remember how the first American girl I fucked after that trip was wearing bright red pants. Until then I had never had sex with a girl who owned such an item.

The hipster niche will not be exploitable for long as that subculture becomes increasingly homogenized with the mainstream (I’m sure you remember the time before plaid became popular). Plus, hipster chicks are getting fatter. Or maybe fat chicks are becoming hipsters. Anyway, I estimate you have about two or three years to rock it out with some pseudo-anorexic hipster chicks until fatties completely take over the country and smother us all.

There was a time where the only way you could exploit the hipster culture was to wear a cape and a monocle, but that time is no more. Put on a v-neck, build glorious scruff above your neck, and enjoy sex with some weird and self-absorbed women.

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