No experience in life can take from you without also giving, and no experience can give without taking. One occurs on the surface and is easily visible, but the other takes more reflection, helping you identify the truth, meaning, and value of your life. I had a recent experience in Turkey that did this for me.
In late August I was in the resort city of Alanya, Turkey, a place that was supposed to give me a refreshing break from Eastern Europe and its women. I booked the eleven day trip soon after getting dumped by Anna, with the idea of banging slutty Scandinavian girls on vacation, but I probably did this as a response to some confusing emotions about what I really wanted from women.
The environment of Alanya for banging, it turned out, was the worst I’ve seen since visiting Bolivia back in 2007. It was worse than Washington DC, Copenhagen, and Riga, cities I’ve spared no scorn for. It was so bad I tried to change my flight to leave sooner, but since it was the absolute peak of summer, all flights back home to Ukraine were full.
The negatives of Turkey were numerous:
- Complete inaccessibility of young Turkish girls. They were continually guarded by men or family members.
- Nuclear bomb of horny Turkish men who approached any foreign girl regardless of her beauty.
- Loud, cheesy nightlife with 4 guys for every 1 girl.
- Low quality Scandinavian girls.
- Extreme heat that barely tapered at night.
I knew I’d have a hill to climb in Turkey since I look Turkish (my bloodline is half Iranian and half Armenian), but I grossly underestimated how bad of a responses I’d get. I was treated by girls like a t-shirt or kebab vendor, just another brown man to brush off for the day. It didn’t help that Turkish men had great clown game, and were applying it with passion on girls I wouldn’t touch.
Even worse is that I went solo. On the handful of interactions I made progress on, I couldn’t isolate in the end. Rolling solo in a regular city isn’t so bad, but in a resort location it was the death knell. In eleven days I got nothing, and to add insult to injury, I got some type of infection that holed me up in a little hotel room for several days watching music videos and counting down to when I could return to the relative poosy paradise of Ukraine. It was the worst vacation I’ve ever taken.
If you’ve been reading me for the past couple of years, you’ll have noticed I’m not exactly sure as to the best way to proceed. Combined with the fact that I’ve accomplished what I had set out to do as dreamed by my 25-year-old self, it’s no surprise I’m lacking in direction. My experience in Turkey, along with fleeting clues I’ve recently processed in Russia, Poland, and Ukraine, has made that direction much more clear. Here is what I’m now sure of:
- I no longer have the heart or will to do bang or flag missions. I’m not that pleased when I succeed or disappointed when I fail, meaning it no longer brings much value to my life.
- I’m not interested in traveling alone. I’ve done it for so long, to so many countries, that I’ve passed the point of diminishing return in what it can provide me. It doesn’t help that any new country I visit simply reminds me of bits and pieces of previous countries.
- I must only “travel” to scout out a location for semi-permanent living, to make a legally required border run, or to share an experience with a close male friend or female lover.
- I want easy sex and a hundred notches a year from beautiful girls like any other guy, but I can no longer sacrifice quality for quantity. I’m unable to lower my standards even when inebriated. In Turkey I lowered my standards the first two nights but my game wasn’t congruent, and afterwards I felt ashamed at myself for pursuing such low talent. The notching phase of my life is over.
- I prefer Eastern European girls above all overs. I did like Latin girls in the past, have banged a couple Asian girls, one black girl, and even one Indian girl, but currently have no desire or curiosity to bang them again. While some Turkish girls were very pretty, my boner is less for them than their dainty European equivalent. I plan to spend the bulk of my remaining days in Eastern Europe.
- I need mini-relationships for companionship as much as access to pussy. Loneliness is getting harder to tolerate. I want someone to pass the time with once or twice a week, to brighten up the calm of my normal work week. Male friendship can fill this role also, but it’s often harder to make male friends in foreign cities than to make love with girls.
It’s not enough to state your goals, work towards them, and call it a day. Experience changes your desires and your desires affect your experiences, reacting with each other in an imperfect and unbalanced equation that can leave you absolutely sure of your direction and path one year, but lost the next. A jarring experience like the one I recently had in Turkey forced me to evaluate everything while I sat in my hotel room counting down the days until I could leave. These meditations told me to stop being so spoiled, appreciate the lifestyle that I’ve been able to build up, and to accept that the grass I’ve already found in Eastern Europe is in all likelihood the greenest based on who I am as a man.
The big problems of my life have been solved, and until those new problems appear, life will now become about receiving pleasure from dutiful work, hobbies that challenge me, and connections from both men and women. Thank you, Turkey, for helping me understand that.
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