The Brazilian Way To Carry Grocery Bags

In Brazil, grocery stores can be quite far from the favela. Because carrying plastic bags with your hands over long distances is painful, Brazilian people who don’t have cars have come up with two novel methods to carry groceries that transfer the load to their shoulders.

The Saddlebag Method

This is usually done with four bags. It leaves your hands mostly clear in case you need to carry additional items like toilet paper or a pack of Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers.

The T-Shirt Method

This method can only be done with two bags. You tie the ends of each bag together and put your head through the big hole as if you were putting on a t-shirt. I like this method when I want my hands to be completely free to text girls I met at the club.

I’ve never seen anyone carry grocery bags like this outside of Brazil, even in other South American countries like Argentina or Colombia. It’s a purely Brazilian innovation that I’ve been using for about two years. My hope with this post is to spread the idea throughout the world so I can see other people doing it while I’m doing it. I can only imagine the intense look that will be exchanged.

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  • http://www.hokieblogger.com Gmac

    Hahaha. This is for real isn’t it?

  • Riker

    Nice place

  • zergbong

    Are you going mad ~

  • Tampa

    So that’s a picture of the place where all the banging goes down huh? Knocked the back out that young polish chick in that room? atta boy.

  • Anonymous

    A+ post

  • Hughman

    Oh Roosh, you do love to troll at times

  • Pete M

    WOW! Is there anything Roosh CAN’T do?!?!

  • Anonymous

    hahaha you’re so funny :)

  • Anonymous

    What’s that thing with the kitten on it?

  • Tuthmosis

    Best. Post. Ever.

  • The Glee Manifesto

    You should try the double saddle bag…where you hang 4 more off of your belt.

  • Shallow Hal

    Might be a good way to pick up Brazilian girls in the US.

  • samseau

    I like the saddlebag method

  • Luckystar

    Very informative post, bro.

    Is that your pad in Poland? Looks pretty good.

  • Roosh

    This is 100% for real. Some Brazilians really carry grocery bags like this.

    “hahaha you’re so funny :)

    Are you cute?

    “What’s that thing with the kitten on it?”

    My Polish study folder.

    “Is that your pad in Poland?”

    Yes.

  • samseau

    oh and grey looks much better on you

  • samseau

    if you look at the blue shirt from the side, it almost makes you look like you’ve got a bit of a gut, but the grey from the side keeps you looking slim

  • dickbutt

    is your sister hot

  • Roosh

    I don’t have a gut! Ladies, here is a picture of my sexy hairy body:

    http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/9424_250884025452_756915452_8621771_7205414_n.jpg

  • Anonymous

    That last pic looks like they may make it half way home before all the blood to ones brain is totally chocked out and die.genius.

  • mae

    how are you going to choke on that? I’m more concerned that the plastic might break if the load’s a bit on the heavy side

  • http://www.aroundtheworldin80girls.com neil skywalker

    This method kinda sucks because it covers up all the brazilian breasts i want to see. Im staying for 2 months in brazil soon. Hope i dont encounter this too much.

  • Juergen

    Wow. That is one ugly mother fucker. The room is microscopic. Girls don’t dig that. The bed is basically humping against the “kitchen.” Pathetic.

  • Don Draper

    No need to shit on the pad. It has everything a true player needs to self actualize: bed, fridge, pussy, done.
    Everything else is superfluous.

    And by pussy I mean the kitten folder.

  • daniel

    I am brazilian ( from Belo Horizonte ) and never seen that. Maybe it is only a Rio de Janeiro trait.

    Btw very nice blog, keep up the good job Roosh.

  • Sid

    Not a bad idea, but someone walking around like that would look aspergery outside of Rio.

  • Giovonny

    I love the ingenuity of poor people. They come up with some brilliant shit sometimes.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for the tip. I especially liked how you tied it into Game…now you too can carry your groceries while texting girls you met at the club.

  • Ju

    I’m from Porto Alegre and I’ve already seen people doing this. I do the saddlebag method sometimes. And, hum…your body is indeed very sexy. “Gostoso”, as we like to say around here.

  • dickbutt

    “I love the ingenuity of poor people. They come up with some brilliant shit sometimes.”

    no they don’t, that’s part of why they’re poor brah

  • Anonymous

    @30
    Exactly.

  • haircut

    hey Roosh,

    Why the big beard ? Why don’t you shave and grow your hair ?
    just an idea, would make you look less like a lego doll.

  • get some scissors

    what the hell kind of haircut is that?

  • fourblindmonkeys

    Is there a good reason why both of your shirts are plain with no design or is it just coincidence?

  • shop m dude

    this is hilarious. Roosh, is that a king size box of condoms on the night table? and a XL vibrator in the t-shirt bag?

  • Jake

    You do a look a wee little bit retarded, with all that incongruous hair getup, Mr. B-Roosh-Vee. Ahhhh Mr. B-Roosh-Vee, ahh will fighta you with his cockah!

  • Cliff Arroyo

    Polish learning tip #456: Prioritize! learn (in this order)

    - noun case endings (esp nominative, accusative and genitive, after those the rest are easy)
    - adjective case endings
    - pronoun case endings

    verb endings aren’t as important (or hard) just learn and use the present tense until you have a good understanding of the case endings (the backbone of the language) don’t worry about aspect until later.

    don’t even try to decline numbers until you’re pretty advanced, even Polish people don’t do that very well, no one cares if you say piec all the time (instead of piecioma, pieciorga, pieciu etc)

    just mentioning this since most Polish teacher who teach foreigners don’t really prioritize and have a tendency to overwhelm students with massive grammar dumps that simply induce frustration.

  • Anonymous

    Demetri Martin look-a-like?

  • Marco

    Dude, smile a little in the pictures. You know its an informative photo illustrating the carrying of the bags, you look like a serial killer… coming from the groceries lol

  • Anonymous

    LOL@ this pumpkin pie hair cutted arab thinking he’s don juan! ahahahhaahaha look at his HAIR! ROFL!

  • Anon

    Umm, no. Please don’t wear your bags like that. Get a backpack or something. You look like a douche with those bags on you, and that is sad because you were cute in your beach pic.

  • clothes

    you need to buy new clothes. jeans and a solid plain t shirt? wow, you have great style. barf

  • http://fromayoungmansperspective.blogspot.com/ Gentsworth

    Hehe, putting the “Bra” in Bra-zilian!
    With plastic bags… Or something like that…

  • Rudy

    Roosh you’re my new dad Roosh even though you’re only 8 years older i’m getting numbers from 7′s and 8′s now following your advice. Everything you and Mystery say, it happens to a T. I’m getting girls in my own leauge, finally.

  • Larinha

    Im brazilian and lived here my entire life, and ive NEVER EVER seen such a thing!! Really!
    Sometimes i check your blog too, but most what you say is non-sense for our culture here.
    I always wondered if you were lying about ever coming to Brazil… My guess is that you are.

    Té mais!

  • Anon

    “Wow. That is one ugly mother fucker. The room is microscopic. Girls don’t dig that. The bed is basically humping against the “kitchen.” Pathetic.”

    @23,

    The room is small but it’s clean and has all the necessities. It’s a perfect pad for someone visiting a foreign country. And it’s bigger than a typical dorm room, in which millions of 18 year old girls are having sex right now.

    I’m not much for cleaning or decorating, but I’ve brought home and fucked girls in dirtier, barely furnished pads that girls have described as caves. I’m sure I’ve scared off some gold diggers too.

  • Anon

    @Larinha,

    You know english and have internet… maybe you’re not the type of Brazilian who’s been to the favelas?

  • Anonymous

    haha! you know I’m a girl! sorry, I have a boyfriend… thanks for your naked picture though ;)

  • Ubermind

    Now you can know whether a girl you cold approach is wife material or not. If she doesn’t ridicule and is not creeped out from you for such a stange way of carrying bags, but respects and understands your innovation and finds it funny and smart than she has heart

  • Pingback: Linkage is Good for You: It BURNS Edition

  • zumah

    WTF is up with people hating on Roosh’s pad?
    That place is more than good enough to take a local girl back to.Just the fact he has his own studio and not a dorm room in some crappy hostel will elevate him in most girls eyes.And you can always tell them it is only a temp untill you find somewhere better.

  • Adam Kadmon

    But the real question is: what has happened to Roissy’s blog? Did he get married or something?

  • Larinha

    @47
    Im the avarage brazilian girl, nothing more or less. Favelas are anomalies in the country, just like american guettos. Coming here to date a favela girl is like going to US to date a guetto girl. And theyre not the avarage on Brazil at all. Look for bazilian statistics from media class and youll see(assuming you know a bit portuguese).
    Anyways, my best friend from university is a guetto girl who works hard, and when i can i give her rides to her home and visit her on weekends. So yes, Ive been in favelas.
    Ps: who doesnt know english these days? Compared to portuguese grammar, english is like a 4 year old trying to speak. Most people here have classes, while others like me learn it only reading books and internet stuff.
    Who doesnt know english here is because doesnt know portuguese to begin with.
    Hope i have enlitened you a bit, and please stop thinking brazilian avarage people are stupid and are the ones you guys meet when come here, because we are not!
    Have a nice night!

  • Frush

    Get a car

  • Anonymous

    …are you a pedo?

  • Anonymous

    I’m really curious about Roissy too, he was so good, why did he stop writing?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6EqcvUUPKo&feature=channel_video_title BRAZILIAN

    Hey guys! Whats up!!??

    I’m brazilian and I would like to share an important video with you guys. Its about the real Brazil. The Brazil that nobody talks about. As you guys may know, we are gonna have a Soccer Would cup happening in Brazil in 2014, and the Olympic Games in 2016. Many people from arround the would will go to Brazil to see these events. But, before go to Brazil, is very important to watch this video first:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6EqcvUUPKo&feature=channel_video_title

    Brazil is not a tropical paradise as you guys think. The real Brazil is the biggest pig sty in South America. People live like animais but they are very happy. Is like you are eating shit and smilling.

    Please, send these video to everybody you guys know. Thanks!

  • Frush

    @Adam Kadmon- Roissy is now running Compliment and Cuddle game, and is having so much success that he no longer has time to blog. But he’s much happier now being used by women as a doormat, so it’s cool, even though he hasn’t been laid in months.

  • @Frush and Kadmon

    I live on the same street as Roissy and see him sometimes. The bro is way old like mid 40s old. Probably doesn’t have time for the blog anymore at that age.

  • Cliff Arroyo

    How dumb are some people here? Roissy simply changed addresses. Google ‘heartiste’ to find the new location.

  • Anonymous

    OMG! That was soooo damn funny!!! I lol’d so loud!!!

  • Sad B

    I’m Brazilian and I have NEVER seen that.
    Roosh, for goodness sake, get away from the favelas. This is like going to California and staying in South Central, LA.

  • Timothy

    #30 and #31…that’s some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen written here. The poor have to be innovative to survive – to do more with less. A person’s economic standing doesn’t have anything to do with their inability to invent something – I don’t see how you connect the two.

  • prozac.

    I was doubtful but gave the T-Shirt method a go yesterday and it worked like a charm. Living a good 15 mins from the shops has killed my arms in the past but with the shopping bag T-Shirt I strutted my groceries home effortlessly.

    Big shout out from Australia where I’m sure this will catch on in no time.

  • http://aaronsholymountain.wordpress.com Aaron

    it’s way too hot in Australia to walk around with plastic bags draped over you! it might catch on with the aborigines though.

  • Sleeper

    @64 – You should be rocking Hulk Hogan sized biceps and arms schleping heavy bags without the Brazilian method. Which should get you more pussy, cuz chix like big biceps. So when you draw them in with the unusual bag arrangement, knock their socks off with your chiseled arms. Or some such.

    :D

  • Melville

    @prozac.

    Already caught on in Australia – been doing the saddle bag method for the past three weeks. Even got opened once by a girl inquiring what i was doing when putting them on at the check out. Bonus points if you double bag it:

    http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/04/30/double-bagger/

    Double bonus points for being custom suited down and smokin. Havnt tried this before, but the way it works in all other aspects of my life I should really give it a go.

    Thanks Roosh, you can proudly say you changed my life for the better – no more carrying bags like a sucker.

  • Roosh

    “Thanks Roosh, you can proudly say you changed my life for the better – no more carrying bags like a sucker.”

    :banana:

  • http://www.adventureunderwear.com Nigel Clifford

    Haha this is priceless!

  • stray

    Eu sou Brasileiro, and I HAVE seen that. I have employed that method on various occasions and quite frankly, it hurts as well, but not as much as it would if the bags were in your hands. Also, it’s true that it is like going to Cali and staying in South L.A. (I actually live in the heart of South Central, Leimert Park to be exact.) It’s where you meet the most genuine people; hood pussy is always good.