The Easiest Day Of The Year To Get Laid

Men have their theories about which days are easiest to get laid. Here are four that I hear often:

Valentine’s Day
Common Sense: Single girls feel especially lonely, so they’ll want to fuck any guy that gives them a little attention.
The Reality: She’s fantasizing about love, not sex.

Halloween
Common Sense: It’s easier to approach since you have a costume, and girls will be extra slutty since they’re already dressed like a slut.
The Reality: Groups are too large and distractions from other costumers too frequent. She’s in the mood for constant attention reinforcement, not a long conversation that leads to sex.

New Year’s Eve
Common Sense: Everyone is in a celebratory mood with the goal of heavy drinking.
The Reality: All the fat amateurs come out to play, leading to a horrible talent pool, in addition to the high sausage presence because of guys who think like you. Plus there’s a substantial increase in unattractive couples and tearful drama.

Any Day It Rains
Common Sense: If she goes out while it’s raining, she must be extra horny.
The Reality: Rain dampens her horniness.

With all four of the above cases I see lower close rates than a regular day with nighttime temperatures at 65 degrees Fahrenheit or above, but there’s one day where I’ve seen easy success: New Year’s Day.

It says a few things if you’re a girl going out on the night of January 1:

  • You’re lonely, and perhaps desperate.
  • You didn’t get a solid New Year’s Eve hookup.
  • You’re horny as balls.
  • You’re not in a relationship (if you were, you’d have spent your wad the night before and elected to stay home).

I went out on January 1 this year, which happened to fall on a Saturday. The scene was dead, and felt more like a Tuesday night than the best night of the week, but the girls who did come out wanted to fuck. I was getting so many looks and smiles that I thought they confused me for James Blunt or the lead singer of Miike Snow. Girls were complimenting and touching, making me feel like I was in Rio and not DC. I had developed three DTF prospects in a short amount of time and I estimate I only exchanged about 300 words with the girl I eventually did penetrate (Virgle Kent was in the adjacent room, snoring). The opener I used was, “Do you mind if I reach over and grab a napkin?” Then she just started talking to me about napkins. This was the second year in a row I got laid thanks to January 1, and the pressure is now on to keep this budding streak alive.

Sometimes New Year’s Day falls on a dud day like Monday, but in any decent city there is at least one bar that is active on any given night. Go to that bar and then thank me later. There’s nothing like starting the year off with a bang, and you only have to wait 11 months until you can try it yourself.

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  • Tampa

    That is a really good observation. I would have never thought this. Plus, you usually got a bunch of football games on that night which keeps the sausages home and on the couch. Very observant.

  • http://www.thebachelorscode.com/ Tyler

    I am actually a fan of valentines day. The night before I went to a bar, by myself to grab a beer. I was visiting the bar tender. I made her a card using materials from the bar. I stapled plastic hearts that were decorating the bar to a little bar napkin. I used the stapler next to the cash register and a pen from the woman next to me to personalize the card. Then I took her out Tuesday to finish the deal.

    Valentine’s day itself, I picked up some of those card board valentine’s day cards you hand out in 2nd grade. The only ones that were left were Shrek 2. They fact that they were retarded made the hand outs that much better. Valentines has been over for 4 or 5 days now…but I am still handing out the cards. I have lined up quite a few dates….Granted you’re right…they probably think they are in love…but aren’t they all?

  • raliv

    Valentines Day here in Athens GA is a sausage fest. Yes, some girls went out but it was mostly dudes who thought that all the lonely horny girls would be DTF.

    They weren’t. Most girls were too humiliated to go out and sat at home eating ice cream and watching Twilight movies.

    I did see a couple on campus fucking in plain view on Valentines Day night. Exhibitionism is on the rise.

  • Black Rebel

    Valentines Day – No. All the top quality girls are with their boyfriends and fuckbuddies. I went out V-Day this year to a bar that had about 50 people in it; one non-bartender 8 or above, getting harassed like crazy all night, and I live in a place with a favorable number of attractive young women.

    New Years Eve – Agree with Roosh, got one this year and did as well two years ago. Starting next year I’m doing it dolo though; I believe NYE has the highest rates of friend-to-friend cockblocking and envy of any day in the year, your crew can drag you down.

    Halloween – Not really. You might get lucky at a party, but most of the slutty costumes are teases.

    What if I were to tell you guys, especially the students, that the biggest walk of the year is a scant month away? Hint: everyone is Irish and girls start drinking at 10 AM. Normally shy and reserved girls pinching your ass on the subway, take advantage.

  • http://www.vksempireofdirt.com virlge kent

    You think I was sleeping! Ha, wait till you blow up a little bit more after your next book then your sex tape hits the net… Gold Jerry fucking gold

  • G Manifesto

    I’ve swooped on Valentine’s Day on 6 different continents.

    This latest V-Day, I was rollin dolo in my ‘Lac down Whittier Boulevard in East Los all pachuco’d out in my zoot suit when I saw my ace Tuco on the corner.

    Now Tuco was a mack, of the old school playboy variety. He was quick with the tongue and quicker with the heater and he’d just been released from San Quentin. As everybody from every criminal underground subculture across the world is cool with me and has some type of connection to me,he hopped in my ‘lac and let me know about some rivals that needed to be taken out and being the down cat that I am, I was in like Flynn. We rolled back to his barrio and got suited up. I put together a custom Armani ensemble with a Gucci ski mask complete with a black Walther PPK, while Tuco wore a cream-colored Italian get-up with Versace ski mask and a chrome four-fifth.

    On the corner of Pico and Verner at 10:15 PM, February 14th, we rolled up on the snitches in a candy paint red Escalade and blasted on them.

    Afterwards, I remembered that I was invited to a party at the Playboy Mansion, so we rolled there and I swooped all the fly model chicks and sold everybody beakers and beans.

    Then I woke up.

  • chad

    Lol g just hijacked your blog post

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com/ The G Manifesto

    Hilarious post above. I like that one.

    On another note, here is a free low profile tip for everyone:

    Best day for Day Game of the year, December 31st.

    All girls out and about getting ready for New Years. Zero guys.

    It helps if you are in a place with a warm climate ie Southern CA or Miami.

    Thank me later.

    - MPM

  • http://gvictor.wordpress.com LibraryDeskGraffiti

    2nd year in a row I’ve gone out New Year’s Day and I gotta concur.

    The vibe everywhere is almost perfect, you can feel it in the air.

  • dc

    do you think the same logic would apply to feb 15th?

  • Maynard

    Now you tell me! fucker.

  • Brian

    We can expand this to the 1st day of EVERY month (like a holiday) and call it BANG day. This will be good practice to keep on top of our game for Jan. 1.

  • Anonymous

    G Manifesto in a Gucci mask, please keep it up! That shit was funny.

  • Timothy

    The New Year’s Day thing makes sense, especially if it falls on a night when people would normally go out, like Thursday through Saturday. New Year’s Day is a college football bowl game night, so there may be far more women than men out, unless it’s a sports bar of course. All the other nights are probably couples heavy, and people don’t go out on Halloween looking to hook up – it’s more a night to be silly.

  • Anonymous

    I pounded a girl this v day, who gives a f if she thinks its love… moreover easier to game, just throw some longer term plans into the convo i.e we should go ski next month.

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  • Jack

    St. Patrick’s day when I was in college was by far the best night of the year to get laid. Now that I’m living in NYC, is it still great for that? Or is everyone just out with their cockblocking boyfriends/male freinds?

  • Anon

    Re: Inclement Weather.

    If you’re in the middle of pulling a girl out of a bar & the weather turns bad, then yes, it could dampen the mood.

    But if the weather was already crap when you got to the bar, then that’s another story…

  • Steve Johnson

    Have to disagree on Halloween. Maybe it’s just because of my own beliefs (or that it’s NYC) but I’ve got a 4 Halloween SNL streak going.

    Other best day? St. Patrick’s Day.

    Any holiday where there is a weather change is gold. Spring / fall. In spring women are looking for a new guy after winter, in fall women are looking for a new guy for the winter. It’s not rational and it’s not conscious but it’s there in the back of their brains: need a man for winter (in fall) / it’s my chance to get a better man and have babies this year (in spring).

  • Tim

    All those summer-time holidays are great

    memorial day, july 4th, labor day

    Just get the beach bod ready to go, and get your mingle on.

    I’ll be in havasu this memorial day with my boat