The Game Balance

Be confident, but not arrogant.

Be a lovable jerk, but not an insufferable asshole.

Be charming, but don’t go out of your way to please her.

Put in effort to make it work, but don’t force it.

Be warm, but not needy.

Be funny, but not an entertainer.

Demand respect, but don’t be angry.

Lead the conversation by being chatty, but let her talk too.

Seek quality, but be realistic.

Be polished, but don’t come across as rehearsed.

Be persistent, but don’t be desperate.

Learn from other guys, but be your own man.

When getting into the game you will be bouncing from one extreme to the other, usually from being overly nice to being an asshole, from being shy and quiet to talking for the sake of talking. You’ll likely see better results from these shifts, but they will not be highest until you tread the middle where you’re both an empathetic human and a primal animal.

A comment I hear from guys who meet me in person is, “You’re a pretty nice guy.” From reading me you may think I’m a horrible monster, but truth is I’m a normal man. My default program is “friendly, nice guy,” but I have a huge drawer of game and social tools that I can use depending on the interaction and what I want from it. When you stay entrenched at the extremes, you use only one tool for everything, locking you into getting lower results than your’re capable of.

Going through the extremes is a part of the learning process, but understand that the best game is balanced. Having a default asshole game will not be as effective as having a default cocky/indifferent game that swings assholish or nice depending on the girl you’re dealing with. Being a persistent motherfucker who approaches 50 girls a night and calls every girl 10 times before giving up will not be as effective as being more thoughtful about your approaches or walking away from interactions where the girl isn’t treating you well (which in turn boosts your self-worth to help with future girls).

It’s when I find myself at the extremes (being an asshole or forcing it) that I know I won’t be getting laid with a girl that I want. Game isn’t about displaying a caricature of yourself to the opposite sex, it’s about showing you’re a balanced, unique man who knows how to do two things: connect with her and then offer seamless logistics to having sex at the moment she wants it most. Anything else is masturbation.

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