Some girls can be especially hard to extract to your place. You may live too far from her for a spontaneous venue change or she can be an early riser. As you already know, getting a girl over is half the battle, so why not eliminate that issue completely by inviting her over for dinner?
If there’s one dish you can cook for yourself that doesn’t involve frozen ingredients, you can successfully execute the dinner date move. Even if you live in a house with five other people, it can result in sex as long as you have your own room. Simply follow these steps:
1. Execute the move only on date two or beyond. A girl will most likely not accept you dinner date offer after only talking to you for an hour at the bar. For her to have a date in your house, a minimum of two face-to-face interactions must be achieved before she’ll want to come over.
2. You must have at least kissed and slightly groped her at the previous meeting. The move is done when the next logistical step is sex, which usually falls on date two or three. Otherwise what will happen is you waste the move to get no more than a kiss.
3. Pre-sell the date. If you’re at the end of a first date where kissing and touching has happened, say, “How about next time we do dinner at my place? I just learned how to cook a new dish.” She will be noncommittal, which is fine, because you’re just planting the seed so that she begins to accept the idea of coming over. There’s no need to iron out the exact time or date. Contact her in a couple days to make the plan.
4. Don’t start cooking until she arrives. There are two reasons for this. First, you want the cooking process to help you put in “face time” where she gets comfortable in your home. Second, you want her to start drinking while her stomach is empty so the booze (usually wine) has maximum effect. After eating, the alcohol will barely make a dent in her decision-making apparatus, so get her drinking as much as you can before the meal. Therefore it’s good to have meals that take at least one hour to prepare. To encourage drinking, try to stock your house with her booze preference, which you should know from your previous meetings with her.
5. Cook something you know. Don’t make the mistake I made several years ago by planning an elaborate three course meal that had me more focused on the food than the girl. It also showed that I was trying to impress her, which causes most American girls to lose attraction. Instead, cook a basic meal that is edible. If it’s pasta with Ragu sauce, then so be it. I usually cook rice with chicken and vegetables, a light meal that alcohol can punch through like a bulldozer. If she makes fun of you for such a simple dish, sarcastically apologize that you’re not a gourmet chef.
6. After dinner, get her on a surface where sex can occur. I like couches. It’s not hard to start banging there and then move to the bedroom. Many guys make the mistake of suggesting to watch a movie after dinner, but by the time it’s over she will have sobered up. Instead, put on The Weeknd, sit on the couch, talk, and then start kissing. After a bit of this, when you’re sure she’s aroused, get her straddled on top of you and start taking off her clothes (shirt and bra first). Have a condom already in your back pocket so that you don’t need to disturb the action by getting up to retrieve one. If you don’t have a couch, give her a “tour” of your room and put the music on there.
If you don’t get the bang, you have to do two normal dates before attempting another dinner date. Girls don’t like back-to-back home dinner dates.
The period of time I used dinner dates most was in Colombia. I had a lot of trouble getting one-night stands and bringing girls back the normal way, so I’d whip this move out on date two or three to get my bang. The move was most successful when executed on the weekends (Colombian girls aren’t like American girls in that they must go to the bar or club on Friday night).
The home dinner date move is also great for beginner or intermediate players who aren’t yet confident to do weasel moves. Even though I have a doctorate in weaseling, I occasionally have to do the move when I encounter girls who give resistance to coming over at the end of dates. Thankfully, there’s always a move for whatever flavor of resistance a girl is putting up.Tweet Follow @rooshv
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Thanks for the linkage man.
Number 6 is a big deal, its a step I, and I’m sure many other guys, make. Now I’ve been able to segue movies into sex pretty easily in the past, but I’ve also massively cockblocked myself by choosing the wrong movie.
I think having a YouTube playlist of good date music is a must. That might even be worth a post in and of itself
This Roosh post gets the full *** stars in my michelin rating guide!
Masterpiece, you’re for sure a professional in this field.
So elegant. So science-ey. :)
I like ‘movie at my place’. Same idea, less kitchen, more proximity and dubious lighting. Escalate during movie. I have about five movies that I must have watched a hundred times … pick the right ones, and they do all the (mood making) work for you. Heh.
Bought a portable all-in-one projector on Craigslist at one point. Built in speakers, DVD player, everything. Easy for movie-at-her-house. For a good year there that was my go to bang-prop.
4 and 5 are pure wisdom.
From my experience wine and champagne are best – although in Mexico recently I was using tequila, but it got a bit sloppy at some points:)
Straight up fucking science. Usually kicks off a BJ after making out a bit. Using the couch is key.
oh yes! indeed that’s the date move that gave me the more bangs here in Colombia; gold advice.
date dinner move?
what happened to you?
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUUUUUU?!?!??! :D
I think the problem with the post-meal movie isn’t so much her sobering up, but actually getting groggy due to the alcohol and digestion of the meal (especially if it’s the kind of movie where you lower the lights and get relaxed). Escalation DURING the movie can possibly head this off, but I guess you need to pay attention to the particular chick you’re with and gauge her energy level.
@ 9 Marco…I hear you. I think we’ve dealt with this on other threads, and opinions definitely differ on the cooking-for-a-chick move. For some, it shows value/skill. Others simply object to doing something like this for a chick you haven’t banged yet. For a guy that likes to cook, and cooks well for himself, it isn’t a big deal. If you aren’t comfortable cooking and don’t really want to try/learn, skipping this is advised.
Your point #2 is crucial. You must have had some sort of make out or something before employing the dinner date move or you will waste it. If you haven’t made out or groped yet, that’s what you’ll get post dinner. I think dinner date move is a solid 3rd date bang move. Great write up.
As a chick, I will attest to the fact that this formula works. also, if your place has a killer view, I can almost guarantee you’ll get in her pants. Girls love that panoramic shit. See, e.g. “want to see the view from the rooftop?”
Might also want to invest in some nice bedding.
Thanks for putting me on The Weeknd
Straight panty dropper shit right there.
Learn something new every day
Great post Roosh. I use to do dinner dates but don’t tend to do them anymore.
I agree with Tampa.
Funny thing is, once she made it to your place and you have created connection, foreplay and even bang often take place BEFORE the meal. Let’s say you get your dessert first!
I often had dinner left untouched, which is great because you won’t have to cook next day :)
Not sure about this move Bro! … I have been in five different cities in Colombia for extended time (currently here :) … All I do is have them come to a park or mall near my place and then take them to a nearby coffee/bar, but I do it at 3pm so everything is casual, inexpensive and their guard is not high … I talk a little about my travels and get them interested in the subject, after 3 or 4 beers have them come to my apt to show them my travel pics … 95% of the time they will come, once there I play it by ear, go with the flow of the moment, use ALL my tricks (while having more beer) … There is NO WAY she will leave my place alive. Success rate = 4 out every 5 times … All at the FIRST encounter … and I try to make at least 3 or 4 attempts a week (different girls obviously) … do the math!!! …. This is no BS (I keep it simple) … Have done same maneuver in many countries (Inexpensive and effective), I almost never go to a club. On a fair note, my spanish is perfect and that gives me a HUGE advantage I have to admit. Donations accepted!! LOL
That’s too much work. I just invite her to my place to watch a movie. If she smokes pot, I make sure to have some available.
@around the world in 80 jobs
Good call on the champagne. I make up something random to celebrate, i.e…my dog’s b-day, the anniversary of when I climbed some mountain, etc… Sets a positive vibe and girls love the bubbly.
Hahaha doctorate in weaseling :P
Nice post, some good points …
I’ve done this strategy successfully many times.
However, one point to consider is the possibility that you will later wish this woman did not know where you live.
Experience taught me to appreciate the value of her not knowing where I live (sometimes, some women, not for awhile, etc.).
Of course a man should learn to screen for undesirable personality traits, but you can’t always see that she will be pushing for way too much, way too soon, or that she lacks awareness of commonly understood boundaries between 2 people who only met recently.
You know I love the dinner date move :)
@Marco: “I cooked dinner for a girl and then banged her. Guys, was that BETA?”
Great post, I will add one point:
7) Tell her that you’re ‘trying to cook something new’ and joke that it might all blow up and you’ll have to send her out to get McDonalds. This gives the night a little bit of drama and creates a mini-story of the two of you coming together to overcome an obstacle, and succeeding. (Of course I only ever had one meal in my wheelhouse.)
And what the hell one more:
8) If you didn’t get a solid makeout on date #1, which I never do because my date #1 is for her to come visit me in a coffee shop while I’m working, make sure you get a solid makeout in BEFORE the meal. This changes the entire tone of the date and makes the bang about 10000 percent more likely.
Getting the makeout in the kitchen is dead easy. Get her active in the cooking process, i.e. chop this, stir this, mix this, etc. After a half hour of flirting, touching, and her following your orders, she will want you bad. Pin her up against the fridge and go to town. Push for the bang. If you can get any of her clothes off, a hand on her pussy, or her hand on your cock, the bang basically becomes a forgone conclusion and the two of you can just chill out and eat dinner knowing what’s coming. As a bonus, getting a little fool around before dinner makes the date itself a lot more fun.
I have never had a dinner date in my life. I’m way too stingy to take a girl to a restaurant, and I don’t see the point of taking a girl back to my place and cooking for her when I can take her back and fuck her instead
I have never cooked shit for a girl in my life ever… way too much work.
A romcom, a giant flat screen, a fat couch and some booze works wonders though.
WTF? I am not cooking for a girl. But, she can assume her proper role in the kitchen where she belongs to cook for me.
teriyaki stir fry (chicken cutlets with peppers, snow peas and water chestnuts — but hold the onions, they’ll make the girl self-conscious about her breath) is my go-to pre-sex meal. easy to cook, hard to mess up, and like you said, light in the belly so alcohol won’t be absorbed.
Dude one of the best sexual experiences of my life was when I cooked for a woman.
I knew what she liked to drink, made sure to have plenty of that in my house.
I told her I was cooking one of my mother’s recipes. It was but still a good line, makes her think you think she is someone who might be special enough to meet her.
The chick screwed my brains out it was amazing. Seriously she was coming out of her clothes before dinner was even ready!
While it’s true that you don’t need to cook for a girl to fuck her, I will say that cooking a good dinner for a girl will certainly help keep her legs open for longer.
I just love that puppy dog look of wonderment in their eyes when you have mastery of your kitchen and her as you give her little tasks and tease her with a little taste of various ingredients (and then later you).
I’m a girl and when i read the line, “If she makes fun of you for such a simple dish, sarcastically apologize that you’re not a gourmet chef,” it really bothered me to think that girls would say that to a man who was generous enough to cook her dinner (even if he was trying to get sex – what stupid girl doesn’t realize a man would like her to give him pleasure if he brings her home?) If a man offered to take me to his home and cook me dinner, I would feel like he honored me and do everything I possibly could to make him happy that night. I feel like, as a girl, I should always cook for any man I’m seeing even if it’s just casual dating, so for a man to offer to cook for me would be so touching and sexy and romantic, I can’t understand how any girl could possibly make fun of a man no matter what he cooked for her. That’s so unkind and unfeminine. No matter how simple it is, a man cooking dinner for a girl is doing something incredibly sweet for her – that she should do for him all the time – and I would be so grateful for a man to do that for me, I would go to bed with him and do my best to give him as much pleasure as I could.
I thought that the whole “make dinner for her” shtick was verboten – It smacks of “acceptance-seeking behavior”, and likely to raise a red flag in her hamster-brain.
I can see it working in a LTR – but it still smacks of needy beta behavior. I don’t think an Alpha would even consider doing this..
If she makes fun of you for such a simple dish, sarcastically apologize that you’re not a gourmet chef.
IMV, the way to deal with this is something along the lines of ‘Pfff, I like it’.
Makes it clear that you are cooking for yourself and if she wants to partake, OK, but you’d be quite happy eating it without her there.
Which is better for hotties? Manhattan or the best parts of Los Angeles?
Which has more hotties, easier to Game, etc., among these two choices?
Classic, been doing this for ages.
What I like to do is qualify her during our first or second meeting by asking ‘Can you cook?’
If she says yes you can later on (at end of date) suggest she shows you, if no you have her over on the premise of cooking and teaching her something.
If she’s at your place, you give her instructions on helping you prepare the food.
Its a relatively easy move, but has led to the first bang pretty much every time I’ve done it.
If she’s on the couch and makes space between you or is sitting with her feet pointed towards you, it’s photo album time, she then has to move beside you to see. Do not pass her the album, hold it close. Every guy should have an album of photos from year by year. Have the photos sequenced to tell an interesting life story.
The dinner date is a proven winning formula for me. It works really well with women half my age. It definitely distinguishes me from the guys their age. Knowledge of wine and food and skill in the kitchen is a reward and pleasure in and of itself. Definitely Alpha! Knowledege of video games and comic books is Beta.
1. Get them used to compliance by taking charge and assigning them tasks. If it’s pre-bang or early in a relationship, don’t make them feel ackward and unsexy by getting them to cut up food especially smelly onions.(also – handling knives is inherently masculine) Get them to put linen on the table, light candles, choose crystal wine glasses and other tasks that women associate with romance. They can’t help but start to feel sexy.
2. If you’re further along in a relationship and want to get them cutting stuff up in the kitchen you should have a sexy apron for them to wear – preferably something bordering on the slutty halloween costume look. Tie it on them yourself. When they ask you why you have a sexy apron – there is almost no response that won’t trigger crazy hamster activity. I accidentally stumbled upon this move and it’s never let me down. It’s also great for driving ex-gfs insane with drama filled jealousy when they find out someone new is wearing “their” apron. Also suitable for home made porn.
3. Use the process to drop romantic DHVs. “I picked this up at the winery in Napa.” “This is my favorite french bistro dish – it always reminds me of the summer I spent in Paris.” “I always have this dish at Babbo in New York.”
4. Learn how to make latte art. A heart shape in steamed milk even poorly executed is one of the ultimate closing maneuvers. Deliver it to her on the couch and you might not have to watch the Weeknd. It’s also been known to result in the occasional pre-dinner bang.
“I can see it working in a LTR – but it still smacks of needy beta behavior. I don’t think an Alpha would even consider doing this..”
I think this is extreme, flawed thinking. What, a “true” alpha doesn’t cook for someone? It isn’t about being needy. You’re doing it as a display of control. You’re exhibiting skill. If you know how to cook, and do so for yourself, it isn’t a big deal to make and share a meal with a woman. The premise that you should never put in any kind of effort to get a bang isn’t a hard and fast rule. If you do something like this as a TREAT, it’s a great maneuver. If you find yourself doing it all the time, I agree that you’re probably getting played like a chump (unless she’s footing the bill for the groceries as a way of balancing things out).
[...] Abdication Imperative”Normz – “Stakes is High”Roosh – “The Home Dinner Date Move”Leap of a Beta – “Finding Your Wounds“, “Barriers”Dirt Man [...]
“Don´t look for a Colombian girl for laugh or deep conversations about life meaning”.A Colombian Web said you wrote this in your book, and in that case…
WHAT KIND OF IDIOTS ARE YOU USED TO DATE?
oh… i forgot… you are looking for easy sex..
Playing the weeknd around intoxicated girls at my crib never fails to get me play. That guys a godsend.
The Weeknd part cracked me up.. partially because I’ve always thought it was too obvious/cheesy of a choice, and partially i couldn’t imagine Roosh listening to Weeknd.
Benny Benassi never fails to get chicks horny but that’s wayy earlier in the night
[...] does a great explanation here, so I won’t repeat it but rather only append to it. It’s a great screener to see if [...]