The Jante Lawification Of America

In the past I’ve described Jante Law, a Scandinavian cultural norm that aims for true equality. Efforts to show off, brag, or display value in Jante Law-affected societies cause revulsion and public shaming. Disagreeing with acquaintances are frowned upon. Heated debates are unacceptable.

The result is a comical avoidance of generalizing, giving strong opinions, or attributing personal success to hard work instead of good fortune or being raised by the “village.” No one is stupid, just disadvantaged. No one is lazy, just lacking in educational opportunities. Running game is a delicate concern because you have to show value without showing value while simultaneously not offending the girl and her pro-equality and ultra-liberal views

The Jante Law virus—when applied in the realm of gender equality—is increasingly infecting America as women consolidate their power over men. Things I saw in Denmark a couple years ago are more noticeable in the States, and I predict that in ten years we’ll develop a ‘roided Jante Law that is even too extreme for Scandinavians, mostly due to the militant and aggressive nature of our empowered females.

There are ten rules of Jante Law immortalized by a popular Danish author. It’s not hard to share examples of how it’s being applied to American men, with arguments you can easily find on women sites…

1. Don’t think you’re anything special.

“Men are essentially sperm donors. Soon, technology will make them superfluous.  Society doesn’t need them, and limiting their masculinity through new laws so they can’t hurt people would eradicate all crime and mass shootings. The world may very well be a better place without men.”

2. Don’t think you’re as good as us.

“Women excel in clerical office jobs while men flounder. It’s obvious women can communicate clearer and make for better team players. They are also very skilled at managing men to make sure they stay on task with whatever engineering or programming tasks they have to finish.”

3. Don’t think you’re smarter than us.

“Men have become intellectually lazy. They don’t even have the focus and commitment to attend universities anymore. The proof is in high enrollment rates for women. Their brain is becoming increasingly facile and better suited for the virtual world of video games.”

4. Don’t convince yourself that you’re better than us.

“Besides being physically stronger than women, you hold no advantage. Evolution has stopped at the neck and given female brains all of your strengths and none of the weaknesses. It is therefore a tragedy that more women are not CEOs when they’re obviously qualified. Quotas should be enacted to correct this.”

5. Don’t think you know more than us.

“In the past we used to allow our brains to atrophy at home by cooking and cleaning like a common slave, but now we read a lot of books. Eat Pray Love, 50 Shades Of Gray, and whatever that wonderful black superwoman Oprah tells us to read are enriching our minds and filling our souls. We don’t need to major in psychology to understand the human condition better than you to be more successful in life.”

6. Don’t think you are more important than us.

“You’ve been important for long enough. To squash the artificial superiority that has for some reason existed since the dawn of time, policies and laws must keep you down so the natural order of your inferiority and unimportance are allowed to freely flourish in society. Women must be given a head start to handle the patriarchal influence you’ve polluted our world with.”

7. Don’t think you are good at anything.

“You’ve failed to become a man who earns high wages, and now women are stepping up to fill that role. Important cultural commentators have predicted The End Of Men thanks to your inaction and laziness. The fact that women can so easily out-earn you is testament to your failure, and now these accomplished women have no choice but to entertain themselves with a string of bad boy lovers to experience the excitement that you utterly fail to provide.”

8. Don’t laugh at us.

“We are not fat—we have healthy body weight. We don’t have attitude—we are independent with strong and passionate opinions. We are not slutty—we are exploring our sexuality. Our tattoos are not trashy—they’re unique and a reflection of our individuality. We are not spinsters or cougars—we are confident women who know what we want and can easily get it while you have to travel to poor countries to sleep with dirty sluts who have herpes.”

9. Don’t think anyone cares about you.

“It doesn’t matter if little boys are floundering in public schools, if men are committing suicide at high rates, if men are being locked up for one of a thousand crimes, or if Middle East war veterans are coming back without limbs or a sound mind. It doesn’t matter if you can’t find work and are pushed to the margins of society. As long as homosexuals can marry in wonderful ceremonies with beautiful flowers and single mothers get money from the state to help them be independent, society is functioning as it should, and you better open your wallet and pay taxes to ensure this progress continues.”

10. Don’t think you can teach us anything.

“There’s nothing you know that we don’t. Just because you built civilization and all the gadgets we use, absolutely nothing you say will make a difference in our thought. By the way, even if you agree to everything we say, we still won’t put out for you, but we appreciate the support. Maybe you can also tell all the misogynists to man up and see the error of their ways and accept that equality is the true way to societal happiness.”

There exists some hypocrisies with Jante Law in that it’s applied more strictly with males, but the Danes seem almost genuine with their aim of gender equality, no matter the grotesque creation of an androgynous society where it can be hard to tell the difference between men and woman and straights and gays. In America, however, the borrowed ideas of Jante Law will only have one purpose: to put men down and give justification for programs, laws, and re-education that make men second-class citizens in a country that they built. It’s happening as we speak.

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