How many times has it happened where you were flirting with a girl, said something really dumb, and then she turned away? Or you sent an over-eager text message and never got a response? In these cases you think, “Because I made that mistake, she no longer wants to talk to me,” but I think it’s more complicated than that.
Even the most deluded of women know there is no such thing as perfection. They understand that people occasionally say stupid things, and if they were to desire only a perfect man then they’d never get laid again. Girls have a mistake buffer where they permit a certain number of mistakes until they walk away. For American women the buffer is about 3-4 small mistakes, 2 medium mistakes, or 1 large fuck-up. Here’s how I would categorize seduction mistakes before the first bang:
- Saying an off-color joke
- Touching aggressively before some attraction is established
- Using emoticons or exclamation points in text messages
- Having bountiful nose hair
- Continuing to tell a bad story even when she appears bored
- Taking a picture of her
- Trying to impress her by discussing your job or status
- Not talking enough or talking too much
- Getting caught taking a picture of her when you think she’s not looking
- Sending the first text too soon
- Having bad breath
- Telling her you like her before she says it first
- Getting drunk and vomiting
- Grabbing her during a day-time pickup
- Letting her discover your fuck blog
Unfortunately, it’s impossible to completely eliminate making mistakes, especially if you’re dealing with new environments or situations. For example, I remember telling an Icelandic girl who had a boyfriend that “All Icelandic people cheat,” an observation I noticed after a month in the country. This was a fuck-up because it strengthened her resolve to prove me wrong by not cheating. While she didn’t walk away, I couldn’t overcome the mistake.
If a girl walks away after you make only one small or medium mistake, it will seem like you “lost” her because of that, but there are two things going on: (1) She wasn’t truly interested in you and your mistake was a convenient pretext to halt the interaction, or (2) You’re making other mistakes that you don’t realize. It’s the first reason if it comes soon after an approach. She’s not digging your vibe for whatever reason, you hit her with a lame joke, and that’s all she wrote.
The second reason usually comes hours after the approach, particularly on the first date. Since a girl is seriously considering getting fucked if she goes out on a date with you, not eventually sealing the deal means you’ve definitely committed errors. After a failed date, instead of getting mad at the girl for wasting your time, think about what are the likely things you did wrong and how you can prevent them for the next date. What mistakes did you make? Was it the first time you made those mistakes or do you have problem areas you need to seriously address?
Even you have a mistake buffer. Yeah that girl is a little overweight, though not enough to pass on the bang. But now you get in close to find that her breath smells and lose complete interest. Yeah the girl bites her nails into nubs, an annoying behavior you can deal with, but her room is filthy and she admitted to only taking showers once ever two days. It’s no surprise that men are most affected by aesthetic or hygienic “mistakes,” while girls tend to be most affected by personality or social ones.
For the average player, understanding the mistake buffer can isolate your weak points to find out what you’re doing wrong. It’s okay to make mistakes since you’re human, but make one too many and she’ll move on.Tweet Follow @rooshv
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You really hate Indian people, don’t you?
“Getting caught taking a picture of her when you think she’s not looking”
your fuck blog heh
indians seem to be one of the most universally hated groups out there.
beaten by a nose
(literally, i guess)
..only by the jew.
Solid practical advice.
I tell women that I blog but since I do it under an alias and don’t give them any details – it revs up her hamster without blowing my cover.
In general Indian girls are often intolerable. Always if they’re FOBs, and usually if they’re born in the USA. With the Americanized ones you get girls that have all the worst traits of American cunts plus the Indian princess and general argumentativeness syndrome. Though they usually know how to dress feminine and actually like their families/don’t have daddy issues, I’ll give them that.
There are a few exceptions, where they’re Americanized but don’t act like princesses. Then I think their family-oriented upbringing becomes a net-positive trait.
I’m seeing one like that now. Sweet, giving, naive, always happy and innocent-seeming without being a prude. And amazing T&A.
She’s Sri Lankan though. I wonder if that makes the difference.
Every seduction attempt has its flaws. It’s important to note them, even if they didn’t lead to failure. It’s all about incremental improvements, that raise the probability of success.
All that said, the belief that, given proper game you can have chemistry with any girl is unhealthy; it might make you a weirdo. A balance of internal and external locus of control mindset must be maintained. Gotta give up and move on sometimes.
nguyen, plenty of girls love “Jewish men.” More so when they see you’re not a typical herby Jew.
I’m curious. How big of a “mistake” does Roosh think it is when you politely pass on a girl’s approach?
I frequently get opened by girls in public…like at Starbucks today. A cute barista that was standing nearby, not even the one taking my order or getting my tea and cake pop, was super determined to get my attention and have a conversation. These situations are always such a shock because female approaches are so unusual, so nothing ever comes of these situations. If you pass on a girl’s approach, how grave of an offense is it?
Vanderjohn… a cake pop??? REally dude?? Maybe they assume your gay and want to have girl talk
I like how you tell guys to think about the mistakes they’ve made on a date or approach. I feel that a lot of times guys are like, “fuck her she’s a bitch and wasted my time” when they don’t even realize they could have beat if the only did one or two things different.
Asking “The Date Question” is an easy way to avoid making mistakes past guys have made and a quick way to beat town, ya feel me?
Add neediness. Nothing kills like neediness.
>Since a girl is seriously considering getting fucked if she goes out on a date with you,,,
This is an important principle I will keep in mind.
Roosh, you need to stay in Europe. Your past few posts are on a different level.
@VanderJohn, if pass on a random girl’s approach, you’re doomed. Your “rejection” will make her feel like shit for being forward/slutty, in addition to feeling rejected. She’ll rationalize that you’re gay or aren’t alpha.
What Anonymous isn’t saying is that she sucked my dick for pot in the Starbucks bathroom.
Self-examination can be one of the most difficult things to do, and considering women can be so hypersensitive and flakey, it’s easy to chalk it up to that. I’ve always believed that women decide pretty early on if they’re going to give you some – it’s just a matter of how long they’re going to make you wait, or how many hoops they’re going to try to make you jump through. I’ve always tried to play thing close to the vest, and simply try not to fuck it up by saying something stupid. Talk as much shit as you want after you smash it.
So, vanderjohn, you’re straight out of Digital Underground’s “Humpty Dance” except it was Starbucks, instead of Burger King!
straight up. i’m not black though.
roosh doesn’t hate indian people, just most indian girls. i can’t blame him. i went to the same college as roosh and the indian girls there were such annoying princesses. i disagree with roosh on on thing though – i find indian women generally good looking (but i’m indian and naturally attracted to them).
Stop with the hate dude!
I got no problems with indian dudes. Just the girls I dislike.
wow buddy, a lot of girls like going out just to be flattered, wine and dined even if they have ZERO interest in the man as some of them have just too much time on their hands and boring lives so they get an ego kick by going on a date with someone they have no interest in.
“Since a girl is seriously considering getting fucked if she goes out on a date with you”
The typical big city, American girl with any kind of looks probably averages one new date a week in order to stroke her ego.
It’s part of the American “dating” culture designed to drain men’s wallets and boost women’s self-esteem. They can come back to their friends and bitch about how there are no good men around and simulataneously brag about another new suitor they rejected for whatever minor reason and elevate their status.
I recovered after someone finding my fuck journal. You have to either be able to play it off carelessly as something all Alpha’s do (don’t argue, make it seem like you’re worried, or act like the ordeal phases you), OR you have to have mind-controlling powers.
this is a BETA post….who cares about mistakes???
thinking what you are doing wrong is absolutely caring too much. ..care is a sign of neediness.
fuck mistakes….and fuck girls.
where would you put farting?
as regards the ‘fuck ups’ an experienced ‘pua’ probably intends to sabotage ‘the bang’ for some unknown reason…clinging to some archaic moral throwback not yet thoroughly exorcised.
[...] Roosh – “The Busted Dudes Test“, “7 Things I Would Tell My Teenage Self“, “The Mistake Buffer” [...]
@24: Roosh is a scientist (BTW so am I, but no longer working in pure science).
Scientific mind always analyses situations and tests hypotheses. From the sandbox to the deathbed.
There is nothing alpha or beta about it. It is independent of social contacts. People like Roosh will think hard and explore anything, anywhere, regardless of presence or absence of other males or females. It is their way of life.
Calling her the wrong name (opps)… small mistake or medium mistake?
I think that would be an alpha move if you were in college.
Sometimes I make “mistakes” because when I’m responding, I get lazy thinking about the right message and I just send whatever I typed. Sometimes I kick myself later…but in the end I don’t care that much. At times I feel like sending careless messages, although may seem needy, are in actuality a sign of my indifference towards her reaction. Mistakes happenen, don’t lose sleep over it. Good post, I like that point of view.
@nguyen: spoken by a missile-fucked gook, I wouldn’t pay to much heed to your opinions on reviled groups.
[...] The Mistake Buffer by Roosh V [...]
I’m curious. Why do you dislike Indian women?
agreed…try growin up in that culture