The Most Important Thing A Man Has

Read this email I received from a guy who calls himself Grandpa…

In Bogota a few years ago I was talking to a HOT Colombian girl. She asked for a drink. I bought one for her and then she walked away. I was pissed. An old Colombian guy at the bar said, “You are new here and do not know what the hell you are doing.” I guess I don’t. He said, “Buy me a beer and I will give you an education that you cannot buy with money.” What the fuck, I might as well lose two drinks.

He gave me the best advice I have ever had that ended up landing me more Colombian pussy than I can count. He said the most valuable thing a guy has, especially an older guy (I was almost 40 then), is his dignity. (Yea, I am older now, but I am living in Brazil with a 22 year old smoking hot girl, with a few more on the side… yea, yea and a cabinet full of Viagra).

He told me the best way to handle when a girl asks me for a drink. First look at your watch and remember the time. Then completely ignore her comment about the drink. Change the subject and just bullshit for five full minutes. He said make sure you time it. You gringos will not be able to stand this situation and it will seem like an hour. After five full minutes, as part of the conversation, ask her what she is drinking, then wait another few minutes. Excuse yourself, go to the bar and get her and yourself a drink (preferable where she cannot see you), and bring it to her. This does a few things for you.

1. You are in charge of the situation, not her. She does not control you.
2. You will use your position of power to take care of her needs.
3. Buying her the drink is on your terms and your timetable, not hers.
4. You do not respond well to commands, especially from a woman. You ignore her commands.
5. You do not get angry with her commands because they are meaningless to you and you are above that.
6. It is okay for her to let you know what she wants, but it is entirely up to you if she gets it, and when she gets it.

The old guy told me that when I immediately bought her a drink she felt uncomfortable being in charge of the situation, and that I was easy and not to be respected or followed. I dated a lot of Colombian women and each of them kicked hard against me. After a while I realized that what they were really asking is “Are you strong enough for me to trust you to lead me?” After a while (weeks) most of the smart one learned to be very sweet and whisper in my ear, “I am getting a little thirsty,” with a sweet Colombian smile.

That place is fucking AWESOME. I got more Colombian stories than you can imagine.

Grandpa

P.S. The doctor who said if your woodie lasts longer then 4 hours, go to the doctor did NOT live in Colombia or Brazil… Happy Hunting.

This email reminds me of my first night going out in Colombia back in April 2009 (it feels like forever ago). In Bogota I went with a tall Croatian man I met at the hostel to a bar in the La Candelaria neighborhood. Almost immediately we started talking to two Colombian girls. The Croat was bursting with energy and doing all sorts of crazy dance moves to hook his girl, while I took on a more laid-back vibe with mine. About twenty minutes into the interaction, she asked me to buy her a drink.

I didn’t have any experience when a girl asks me that in South America, because even in my previous trip it never happened. So I gave her my typical American response: “Do you want me to just write you a check?” The interaction then terminated.

The next morning, the Croat told me how he fucked his girl without a condom and was scared of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

“Too bad my girl wasn’t open,” I said.

“No dude, your girl was open. You just went with the wrong game. You needed to be more playful instead of bitching her out. Back at the other girl’s place, I thought I was going to get a threesome for a second. I was so close!”

What he said didn’t really register, but over the next several months I realized that my worth to women—especially South American women—was not only in my humor or intellect or even game. It was also my ability to provide, made obvious when you consider the average Colombian girl can barely afford to buy herself a drink. It took me a little too long to realize their value system was different than Western girls.

I had the notion, from my upbringing in America, that a girl must like me for me and not my money or anything “superficial.” I was stubborn about letting this go at first (“But my jokes are so great!”), until I noticed that fucking a girl who likes my jokes versus fucking a girl who likes the fact that I can buy her an imported beer makes no difference to my dick, or ultimately, my happiness. As long as I’m not getting used for either it’s all the same, and I’d be a moron not to use whatever strength I possess to hit the attraction buttons of the local women. Let’s just say that highlighting my ability to provide—in a casual, non-flashy way—did not hurt my results with Colombian women, and is something I’m more aware of displaying in poor countries. It’s a careful balance because if you overdo it you can look like a total douche bag, but then again you shouldn’t go out of your way to hide the fact that you make a couple bucks.

Whenever I think back at the night with the Croat, asking the Colombian girl if she wanted me to write her a check, I cringe. What a rookie mistake.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

Do You Want To Read More Articles Like This?

Join 30,000 other subscribers to my free email newsletter and learn how to meet women. Articles include: 7 Tips For First Dates That Lead To Sex, How To Tease A Girl, How To Handle Flakey Girls, The Reason She Isn't Hitting You Back, and a whole lot more. Enter your first name and email below...

I guarantee 100% privacy. Your information will not be shared.

Related Posts For You

  • Anonymous

    I like this post – good insight. I think that american girls over the age of 24 are looking for providers as well – I am surprised at how much ass my friends who own their own house and do really well financially do with women. they dont spend alot of money on girls – the girls jsut seem to work for it more once they know you dont need them.

  • Zictor

    The way you always refer to “poor countries” is so condescending it betrays the typical superior mindset of people from “rich” countries.

    Sorry, but I have to say this.

  • http://clerkin.wordpress.com/ Matt

    Great post.

    I’ve seen plenty of players pull pussy after buying a girl a drink. But it’s always on his terms, AFTER creating strong attraction.

    I’m betting this type of game would work really well in certain parts of southeast Asia, e.g. the Philippines, Thailand, etc.

  • Anonymous

    @Zictor

    I’m sure Roosh’s derisive comments about princess American women and clueless American betas don’t bother you though.

  • Timothy

    This was very useful info. I don’t think the label “poor country” was meant as derisive. It’s accurate, not condescending to acknowledge that in many countries in South America the average citizen is struggling financially. And as Anonymous pointed out, even women that can afford to buy their own drinks don’t mind men buying them too! (women generally believe that what’s theirs is theirs, and what’s YOURS is theirs too…HA HA!) While here, the house and car might be the ultimate bait, in some places simply providing a drink or two one night may be enough.

    I really loved how Grandpa laid out how if you control your emotions, you control the frame.

  • http://sjones84.blogspot.com/ Solo

    niceeee wish I had that this weekend. I have to try this, I had a chick ask me for a drink last weekend, weird part is she was walking by, I opened her, and was just screening, then all of a sudden she is like “are you going to get me a drink?” I was a bit taken aback honestly(shouldn’t have been knowing she was walking to the bar DOH!) and said “I taught you were going to buy me a drink?” (wrong reply)

    One thing that has been working well for me as of late is, if a girl ask you for a drink or whatever have her buy you one first, then you can

    1. Return the favor, and game accordingly

    or

    2. Get your Deshawn Jackson on and run away, but be warned, don’t be surprise if the chick runs after you, you’d be surprised how fast some of these broads can run when their “thirsty” ha ha

    ;-)

  • Legion

    Zictor, plain speaking about facts must hurt your nuanced sensibilities.

  • quepaso

    Having lived in a third world country I agree, women are indoctrinated at a young age that they should seek a provider a man who can take care of himself and the family financially while she gives her self to him and to raising the family.

    Industrialised countries like the west and anglophone countries like australia and new zealand are different.

  • roosha

    do you have any similar insights on eastern europeans.

  • hydrogonian

    I once turned down a latina woman who asked me for a drink. I didn’t feel like it, so I just said “I don’t buy women drinks”. This was in NYC. She went on to pout and say that I was killing her buzz, or something like that. (I guess her Buzz was predicated on being treated like a diva). I just smiled and kept playing pool with her and her friend. Funny thing is, after I turned down the drink request, her much hotter friend, who had previously paid me zero attention, soon made it clear that i would be invited back to Brooklyn that night with her if I so wanted. No drink necessary. The power shift in waiting, or turning down drinks, can be huge if not effective for the woman you make wait/turn down, but with other women watching. You can almost feel your power dissipate when you jump on buying drinks for women that you just met, although I will readily do it for women with whom I am already partying with and with whom there is a sexual vibe.

    End of the story, I wound up getting sick in the bar bathroom and the hottie came into hold my head and make me feel better. Needless to say though, I didn’t make the trip to Brooklyn.

  • Firepower

    Not convinced “dignity” is a concept that has survived in present times as a successful strategy for mating.
    http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/
    I’d say the never-ending supply of tales & pics to HCWDB proves that dignity does NOT exist.

  • OhioStater

    Nice. I’m assuming the extra girl he could have pulled into the three-some was the girl you mis-handled.

    Let’s assume you bought the drink anyway, but you did so in an undignified way. The story could go like this:

    “I rawdogged my girl and your girl. Thanks for buying her a drink, dude”.

    Men sharpen other men, and he sharpened you!

  • Firepower

    When the delivery and result depends upon the grace of her sense of humor, never underestimate the dimness of a hot girl.

    So, it’s not proper to call it mishandling, especially by a lowly buckeye who’s football team will be crushed by the Razorbacks. Go pig, soo-ee

  • Jordan

    I loved this post…best one since broken american women. I was in Medellin in september and i’m going back in february. Its all so true! In general women from non industrialized countries value a provider so much more. You can really use it to your advantage.

  • http://naughtynomad.wordpress.com Naughty Nomad

    Haha!

    I think the advice above applies to most of Asia, Eastern Europe and Africa too. I think a few cheap drinks is totally worth it if it gets you laid. Plus- it get’s them drunk.

  • Firepower

    Wow, the innovation of Sugardaddy Game, played out by luring a girl with drinks. Groundbreaking.

    Game has come full circle.

  • John

    “Do you want me to just write you a check?”

    Ah that’s certainly gonna piss off a latina in latin america. They don’t get nor like that kind of cocky sarcasm and see that as confrontational, aggressive.

  • http://fretdancer.wordpress.com/ FretDancer

    Great post man, I’m gonna see how Grandpa’s advice works over here.

  • Cliff Arroyo

    Brazilian Portuguese doesn’t sound like Russian to me, but European Portuguese sounds equally like Russian, Turkish and Romanian.

    And if you’re heading toward Eastern Europe the quality girls aren’t looking for a provider so much as a … reliable business partner (actually a family man but in local cultural terms a family man is a reliable partner in keeping a household going). The ones who can be impressed by a westerner’s financial standing are either golddiggers, whores or naive country girls in for a world of hurt.

  • http://vincentignatius.wordpress.com Vincent Ignatius

    The only women I ever take commands from are older women in my own family. Any girl I’m dating better know her place. I NEVER comply with anything a woman says if it can be interpreted as a command.

  • Yams

    @Cliff Arroyo

    Portuguese does sound very slavic put it has never originated from anything slavic. Also Greek sounds very much like Spanish to the point where you will confuse the two if you are not paying attention.

    The fact that they sound like these other languages is pure coincidental.

  • Anonymous
  • Viralata

    That’s funny, I always say the same thing about Russian and Brasilian Portuguese. Sometimes I’ll hear some Russians speaking around Vancouver and I really have to pay attention to know if they’re Brasilians or no, like if it’s noisy in a bus or somewhere I can only hear the sounds they make and not the words. I find it’s particularly pronounced with the chiado of the Cariocas and Russian.

    Viralata

  • Danny Panama

    GOOD post Roosh! REALLY good post. This is the first time I have commented on ANY of your post, but this one was GREAT insight.
    Yeah, we all have to realize that depending on where you are in the world game changes. For the MOST part the framework stays the same, BUT there are outliers that must change or else you will blow a lot of leads.

    It took me literally about 1.5-2 years to REALLY get a hold of the latin culture. When I first moved to Panama from the states it was a BORE female wise. The chics were extremely flaky, it was a bit tougher then I thought it would be to close deals, the list goes on and on. But after fucking up and learning the ropes of the DIFFERENCE in gender relations, game, etc. It was/is like taking candy from a baby! GOOD POST!!

  • Lumiere

    It’s a tricky balance dude.

    As we discussed in Medellin, there are tons of prepagos looking for a sugar daddy.

    If you roll by buying chicks drinks and meals, those are the kind of chicks that will gravitate towards you naturally. I saw it time and time again in Columbia.

    If girls demand that I buy them food / drinks for the ‘honour’ of talking to them I just laugh and tell them ‘no’. She is a value taker.

    I don’t care if it costs me a lay.

    At the same time I don’t mind buying a chick a drink if it is clear she is not a value taker.

    Drinks are cheap and, if she is investing in the interaction in other ways, of course I will buy her a drink if she wants one.

    Rule of thumb, if it’s clear that the chick will not walk away whether you buy her a drink or not then it’s ok to buy her a drink.

    Intersting story about a chick I picked up in Medellin. I was out with a young Columbian dude (wanna-be PUA who wanted to watch me run game) I opened 2 girls at a bar, chatted to the one I was interested in and left him talking to the other chick.

    We roll from the bar to a takeaway place. The 3 of them ate. I was not hungry and was still drinking the bottle of beer from the bar we just left so I did not order anything.

    I carry on talking to my one who is clearly into me. I overhear her friend (in Spanish) tell the young Columbian dude ‘wow, its so obvious she wants to fuck him’.

    We go to leave and her friend orders the young Columbian dude to pay the bill for all three of them.

    The dude is totally in-experinced and does not know what to do. He is shocked and asks me what to do. I said just tell her ‘no’.

    He tells her no and she gets all pissy with him, grabs her friend and leaves.

    I don’t care because I know the girl I was talking to liked me and I had her number.

    I texted her, met up with her again with strict instructions that she is not to bring her friend.

    She turns up, apologises about her friend and said she was embarassed about her friend’s behaviour.

    I end up banging her and now, everytime I am in Medellin, she invites me to her place, makes me dinner and treats me like a king.

  • Lumiere

    BTW Roosh, I can’t believe you said that to a Columbian chick.

    I would never say shit like that a Columbian girl. You are right, rookie mistake.

    Was this at Escobar Rosas bar?

  • http://alpharivelino.wordpress.com/ Rivelino

    damn roosh, sometimes your posts are so fucking money. thanks. and thanks for posting that reader email. brilliant.

  • http://alpharivelino.wordpress.com/ Rivelino

    “16 firepower
    Wow, the innovation of Sugardaddy Game, played out by luring a girl with drinks. Groundbreaking.
    Game has come full circle.”

    hilarious.

    “20 Vincent Ignatius
    The only women I ever take commands from are older women in my own family. Any girl I’m dating better know her place. I NEVER comply with anything a woman says if it can be interpreted as a command.”

    money.

  • Pingback: Words to live by « Becoming Alpha

  • Pingback: Linkage is Good for You: Christmastime Again Edition

  • Schlong Dong

    So the most important thing a man has and what it comes down to is resources, pure and simple.

    No offense, but “Well D-UH”

    Ask any experienced cocksmith over age 55 and he will give you this same sage advice.

    In the final analysis and after all the hoop jumping and bs it all comes down to resources.

  • ah… no.

    quote: “The old guy told me that when I immediately bought her a drink she felt uncomfortable being in charge of the situation, and that I was easy and not to be respected or followed.”

    Ah… no. This is, as previously stated by someone, typical politically correct rationalization that only stupid men fall for. Its amazing just how far men will go to white wash female behavior. The skank in question was not “uncomfortable” with being in charge of the situation, but rather once she had her drink she no longer needed Mr. Joe Mangina Useful-Idiot Shit-For-Brains anymore so she moved on.

    Quote: “The next morning, the Croat told me how he fucked his girl without a condom and was scared of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

    “Too bad my girl wasn’t open,” I said.

    “No dude, your girl was open. You just went with the wrong game. You needed to be more playful instead of bitching her out.”

    Ah… no. You refused to give her what she wanted (kudos to you), and in a manner where you indirectly but powerfully told her: “you don´t have me fooled”. But because most men a pathetic desperate worthless cheesedicks always on the make for pussy, she knew she had other options so she instead walked away to try to find Mr. Mangina Useful-Idiot Shit-For-Brains.

  • Phoenix

    @ #32
    Yeah, agreed with your last paragraph. Girls will use their beauty and sex appeal to scout around bars and have guys pay for drinks. When a girl uses that line on me, it constitutes one of the biggest RED FLAGS I could ever imagine.

    This one chick I know spends 4-5 nights out at the bars, and has guys pay for her end. Friggin rediculous considering she’s so damn immature.

  • Steve O

    @ #16 Firepower who said:
    “Wow, the innovation of Sugardaddy Game, played out by luring a girl with drinks. Groundbreaking. Game has come full circle.”

    Exactly. After all the shit and more shit and more bs and more lies and more nonsense, after all the propaganda, after all the, ahem *science* on the mating ritual, after all the books, seduction, so called techniques, after all the *gurus* after all the reality TV shows, after all the crap, crap and more crap it all comes down to this: you gotta have something cupcake wants.

    To quote writer Fred Reed: “It all comes down to the age-old bargain: Women exchange sex for whatever they want. Men exchange whatever they have for sex. Call it prostitution, or call it marriage, which is just prostitution with compulsory brand-loyalty. It’s how God made us, probably in a moment of ill humor. Some things just are.”

    A-fuckin-men.

  • Pingback: When A Girl Asks You To Buy A Drink | Effective Attraction