Icelandic girls are extremely shy, boring, and cold (I’d describe American girls as annoying, abrasive, and cold). Unless you get them drunk, you’ll have a hard time building any sort of connection. When I met someone who was unusually warm (asking me questions and maintaining strong eye contact), it would be a guarantee I was talking to a foreigner.
In the beginning of my trip I wanted to conclude that Icelanders were an anti-social species, but very often I saw people having long conversations with their friends in coffee shops and bookstores. So while they’re capable of normal human interaction, their shyness, combined with a lack of charm and skepticism of outsiders, makes it challenging to establish rapport in a way you’re used to. The vibe I got from many of my interactions was that they simply didn’t care to put one ounce of work into helping the conversation, especially when they were sober. It’s unfortunate that unless she was drunk and borderline about to puke, talking to her was like getting a tooth pulled.
There is a big exception: if the Icelandic girl has lived in England or America for a while. In that case, she’ll be used to long-form conversation that you already do on girls. She’ll also be more accustomed to dating, something that Icelanders don’t do (they simply fuck, only developing relationships if their social circles happen to overlap).
With the Icelandic girls who have been exposed to Western culture, you can use gradual escalation in the form of chatting, flirting, touching, kissing, and so on, as if it’s a timed program. Otherwise, you’ll have to adopt some new techniques to account for the fact that having more than a thirty-minute heart-to-heart conversation with her is just about impossible. In addition, she won’t be turned on by your charm, wit, or cocky and funny game because, after all, she doesn’t mind sleeping with Icelandic guys, who are boring as rocks. Therefore, you have to time your approaches toward the end of the night so you can go for a quick venue change to your room, a strategy I’ll elaborate on in the future.
What I want you to understand is that good chat is not valued by Icelandic girls. They really don’t care about your status back home, your vast experience, or your accomplished humor. While I’m not saying to be boring on purpose, the things that get you laid with American or British girls will be of little help on an Icelandic girl who hasn’t had long-term exposure to your culture.
So what criteria do the girls use to select for sex? Appearance and vibe. If they like both and you can eke out a respectable fifteen-minute fluffy conversation where you’re being a non-cocky cool guy, you have a high chance of getting her in bed.
I asked several Icelandic girls about the vibe they wanted in men, but I didn’t get any clear-cut answers. Most said they liked “sexy” guys who were “different” and “stood out,” vague statements that could mean just about anything. Looking back at my own Icelandic bangs, it seems that timing and logistics were the primary keys to success, assuming the girl didn’t mind my appearance or vibe. This means approaching a girl at the right time when she was looking for a hookup and then providing a nearby private room to make it happen. My Icelandic bangs felt more like plain old luck than any other country I’ve been to, but since the girls love to fuck and will do so quickly, that “luck” became somewhat consistent.
So far I may have painted a picture that the girls are boring and quiet, but they’re a rambunctious bunch when hanging out with friends, doing all sorts of crazy, silly, and obnoxious shit. You look at a girl, think she’s the most fun in the bar because of her wild dance moves, then approach only to have her clam up. In another instance, you think she hates you because of how withdrawn she’s acting, but then she offers to buy you a drink. Even guys get into the drink-buying act. In Iceland I’ve never had so many people buy me drinks before, even as expensive as they were. It seems to me that drink-buying is a crutch for shyness, since one of the most reliable ways for them to break the ice is, “You want a shot?” In Iceland the general goal is to go with your friends and get retarded, not to have a deep one-on-one conversation by the bar. I’m not saying that deep conversations don’t happen, but it’s rare.
On the plus side, the girls are extremely polite. I can’t say I’ve ever been blown out, even when they were drunk. They’ll be nice as long as you’re asking for some type of help, like a bar recommendation or how late some place closes, but don’t be surprised if they quickly shut down and give no additional information that might help the conversation proceed. They’re sort of like guys in the fact that their communication is to convey information instead of to flirt. Sadly, flirting or charm is nonexistent, as is the case with most Scandinavian girls. Until Iceland, I had no idea that a girl would be interested in fucking me after a conversation where absolutely no sexual or playful vibe was established.
I can easily say that an average conversation with a Colombian taxi driver was far more intimate and enjoyable than one with the average Icelander. The night I went to see a Brazilian singer with a Russian girl about one month into my trip was eye opening. The Russian was chatty about life and travel while the Brazilian singer was charming, smiley, and graceful. The fact that the Russian girl asked for my opinions almost blew my mind, because even Icelanders didn’t give a fuck what I thought of their country. One month into my Iceland stay, I forgot what it was like to experience basic human warmth.
Don’t confuse my criticisms on Icelanders with bashing them. Not every culture will fit what you’re accustomed to, and Icelanders actually think American friendliness is fake, forced, and superficial. I’m not here to say which culture is better, but a discussion on their personality traits, including their weaknesses, is essential if we want to identify the optimal game in banging the women.
Another important trait of Icelandic women is that they’re die-hard feminists. They believe in equal rights, suffrage, and abortions for all, but thankfully they don’t do the American thing of calling you out on your perceived flaws or mistakes. In the early stages of your interactions with them they won’t try to jam their liberal opinions down your throat, they won’t go on about the inferiority of men, and they won’t try to make you feel small.
While I could argue that a lot of American women actually hate men and get joy out of shaming them, in Iceland the girls are more laid-back and just out to have a good time and get drunk. She’s too busy drinking to have a verbal battle with a guy because she didn’t like his approach style. (In America and Denmark, though, I believe girls have a hidden agenda and go out with an intention to feel superior). An Icelandic girl is definitely quiet and boring, but she won’t disrespect you early on.
Her overall attitude will be positive when you first meet. She won’t say much, but she won’t make you groan or roll your eyes. She’s just a shy girl who takes a long time to get to know strangers, but once she starts to feel comfortable with you, let the groaning and eye-rolling commence. I once had a girl argue with me about what “real hip-hop” is, pulling up a YouTube video of two chubby Icelandic guys rapping in plaid shirts on a green hill. Thankfully, the opinionated feminist only reveals herself after sex, and since most sexual encounters are one-and-out, you may never get to experience the annoying side of an Icelandic girl. The fact that she doesn’t talk much before sex can actually be chalked up as an advantage, since the things they have to say are likely to irritate you anyway.
The picture in your mind of the average Icelandic girl should be a decent-looking shy chick who gets a little sexy and a lotta drunk for the weekend. She’s not particularly feminine or graceful, and her movements and body language are sometimes gruff. She won’t care about appearing ladylike, even when she’s wearing sexy clothing. What this ultimately means is that Icelandic girls are for fucking, not for falling in love with. While there are countless tales of men visiting Latin America or Southeast Asia and finding a wife, this will definitely not happen to you in Iceland. Go there to drink, get laid, and see some interesting scenery, but be prepared to pay a bit of coin for that privilege.
The last point I want to make is that Icelandic girls have a very loose concept of fidelity, meaning she’ll definitely cheat on her Icelandic boyfriend for a guy she knows isn’t staying long. If she claims to have a boyfriend but he’s not currently in the same venue, you can safely ignore what she says. The only question you may want to ask is, “Are you meeting up with him later?” Because the girls get so drunk, they’ll easily succumb to cheating if the logistics are right and there are few spying eyes.
The above article was adapted from Bang Iceland, my 80-page book that teaches you how to sleep with Icelandic women during a visit to the country. It contains tourist tips, game advice, and sex stories that give you all the information you need to pillage creamy white Icelandic women, with extra details not released on the blog. It's available in paperback, Kindle, and ebook. Read sample pages or learn more about the book.