The Perfect Woman

This is perfect woman week, brought to you by a guy who needs help identifying the girl with the huge breasts in this photo. Here’s what four other fine bloggers before me wrote about this topic…

Roissy: The perfect woman does not treat love like a supplement to life.

VK: It’s a warmth and tenderness that lets you know that no matter how strong you are, behind closed doors you’re allowed to be weak in front of her and she won’t hold it against you..

The Rawness: Instead of complementing the male gender, the female of the species now aims to duplicate the male gender, and she’s lost a lot of what made her so special to begin with.

DC Hero: She’d have ageless beauty and the essence of youth. Lady in the street, freak in the sheets…

I can’t top what these gentlemen wrote, but it got me thinking, and…

It kills me how random life is. A big chunk of me has nothing to do with me. It’s just the environment I’m in, the events and people that cross my path. Wrong time, right place.

I was 23-years-old when I met a beautiful girl. I have no idea how I got her but I did, and I didn’t have the “game” that I have now. She liked me for me, an eager guy out of college trying to relieve whatever inadequacy he thought he had.

She crushed me, but that was okay. But I did something that wasn’t okay. I overcompensated, to the extreme. I had to get even better at the game so not only could I find a girl like that again, but I could keep her as well. You see there was an end goal of a happy relationship somewhere along the line, but it didn’t work out like that. The game was the end itself. The perfect woman I thought I wanted slowly slipped away. She morphed into this monster of easy sex and unrealistic expectations. Sex on demand, no later than the third date, and if you’re not exactly what I want then fuck off.

Part of me wishes I got swooped up by her. Maybe I would see women as more than just numbers and stories. Maybe I’d be in a happy relationship. Sure I’d be whipped and still working in some soulless job trying to pay a mortgage, but at least I’d have this woman who cared for me and loved me, and I would do the same to her. I think I was capable of that.

Instead I went down this rabbit hole… deeper and deeper… and darker. I see less than I used to. Too much experience, too used to easy attention and cheap thrills. You can’t undo your experiences, especially when there is just too many of them, their naked bodies, their smell on your fingers as you drive home racking up another score… your fantasies of their moans and kisses as you smile yourself to sleep. The way they laugh at jokes you’ve said a hundred times before.

It gets worse every year, the happy relationship with my “perfect” girl just gets farther as I become more incapable, as I become “better” at getting sex that has meaning but really doesn’t. I don’t even notice differences in girls anymore. But I can’t stop. I notice most other guys can. Am I… a validation junkie? An attention whore? Like the girls I criticize?

When that girl dumped me I cried. I went to her place to get my stuff, hoping I could keep it going. But it was done. I left and parked in a gas station and sat there and cried like a little baby. If that happened today, I wouldn’t even give a shit, and I think that’s my problem. I’m a machine with flesh, no empathy or love… another night, another performance.

She wasn’t perfect, not even close. But she was. Anyone decent looking can be made perfect. You already know it takes very little effort. But I haven’t done it recently.

So… she’s gone. Experience killed the perfect woman. It means nothing to me.

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  • Jason

    Well, now you’ve scared me off. I’m giving up on everything “game”-like, am going to find a nice six, marry her, and live a safe, boring, but well loved life. Peace.

  • http://journals.aol.com/r32r38/Ironrailsironweights/ Peter

    Anyone decent looking can be made perfect

    So long as she isn’t shaved.

  • Anonymous

    “Maybe I’d be in a happy relationship. Sure I’d be whipped and still working in some soulless job trying to pay a mortgage, but at least I’d have this woman who cared for me and loved me, and I would do the same to her.”

    Riiiiight. Fuck that SHIT. The grass is always greener on the other side.

    Better to be viciously dumped at 23 than at 45. Just ask any middle-aged balding man with alimony payments and 2.5 kids to support.

    At 23, getting dumped means NOTHING because you get a free pass and new, fresh pussy is within easy reach.

  • Jo

    Well, at least you’ve come to know yourself enough to figure out why you do what you do. That’s the first step right?

    I think you just put that girl on a pedestal.

  • Neil

    Yup. This story could be me, a year or so ago. Got my heart broke when I was young, and once I committed to putting myself out there I got on a hot streak that just wouldn’t stop. A few years of veering from “I’m having so much fun I’m jealous of myself!” to “Man, I’m so sick of my irresistable bullshit” and back again… eventually I decided I just wanted to take a break from women, kick back and watch the NBA playoffs. Of course, that’s when a perfect (by T’s definition) woman snuck in.

    Anyway, my point is all of that experience that you think has ruined you – well on the one hand you never stop missing the hunt, it’s like quitting smoking you have to be vigilant against falling into old habits. But on the other hand, all of that experience with other women only heightens your appreciation for a woman who is so wise and easy to be with in comparison. And you live with those things, and you’re happy.

  • Perspective Wants Its Ransom

    You should watch High Fidelity again…

  • http://vksempireofdirt.com virgle Kent

    You cried like a girl? that actually sounds like a healthy way to handle a break up instead of what I do, go on a tequila fueled mud turtle anger bangathon.

    I’ve said it time and time again and I’ll keep saying it till the day I die.

    “When it comes to DC women they all fuck the same they just wear different clothes”

    Like I told you last night, after this roller coaster of sexual depravity I’ve been on I fear I wouldn’t know what to do with a normal girl. I think I’d actually shit my pants if I girl answered the phone the first time I called after getting her number.

  • Rajia

    Holy Crap Roosh. This is probably the most real thing I’ve read on this blog. I kept waiting for the punch line, but nope – you’re actually human!

    I think you’re still pretty young to give up on the idea of the perfect woman (for you – there is no one single definition of a perfect woman). Maybe you’re just in a holding pattern. The fact is that eventually the lifestyle you’re living…it will get boring. Eventually, everyone wants someone to come home to. And I mean this honestly when I say Good Luck!

  • D

    Wow Roosh, how much did you drink after you wrote that? That was by far the most human side I have seen since you started this blog.

  • http://culinarycouture.wordpress.com Lemmonex

    This depressed me….far too much resonated and I hate that.

    Lemmonex’s last blog post: Zzz?.

  • http://streamofjessica.blogspot.com Jessica

    Patience, my friend…

    Jessica’s last blog post: Guardian Angel.

  • GJ

    It’s all a ploy for Roosh to lure the woman readers of the blog into a false sense of sympathy… then BLAM! DP with a post after.

    But in all seriousness, a great post. If I recall, at one point you were discussing moving somewhere new in the US after you satisfy your foreign travel cravings. It will be interesting to see if your conditioning follows you, or if you can make a fresh start of it. If such a thing is possible.

  • Generate

    Dog, you’ll be where you want to be (hoes or relationship). Just follow your instinct.

  • Anonymous

    This is one your best posts ever. Very enligtening – I can relate to it a great deal.

    The real question I have is – have we in our pursuit of ‘game’ added so much ‘baggage’ that even if we find the ‘perfect woman’ we won’t know it or be in a position to take advantage of the situation.

    Do we have as much baggage as the 29 year old woman who is desperatly trying to settle down and have a family?

    It’s different – but it’s baggage…

  • Sweatpants

    True story: that chick totally got stalked by internet dudes who found out her full name and everything. There are a bunch of pictures of her out there, look on http://jj.am .

    Another true story: One time Roosh told me he wished he was like me (relationship guy, instead of player guy). He was probably just humoring me, but still. I couldn’t help but think of him saying that while I was reading this entry.

  • Anonymous

    Haha I too found this to be a great post, but GJ too makes a great point that it could all be a just a gimmick to prove to his readers what a true dick he really is in his next post. Roosh likes to keep his readers guessing afterall. I doubt anything would be different for Roosh if he packs up and leaves the area– to quote my dad, “wherever you go, you take yourself with you.”

    Overall though, its great to see a different side of you– it takes far more courage and personal strength to admit you have doubts about yourself than it is to keep of a veneer of indestructibility.

    If you are not honest with yourself and other people about who you really are and how you really feel, than there is no hope for ever having a real relationship. If you could stop faking for a minute, maybe you would stumble onto something great.

  • Chris

    the name of that chick in that picture is Amanda Wenk. She was an “Internet Sensation” about a year or so ago. Most of the pics that you’ll find are of her in high school. I think she’s in college now, and has committed the crime of having them reduced!

  • mike says

    One of your best posts ever, great closer on the series.

    and LMAO @ vk’s “tequila-fueled mud turtle anger bangathon”

  • http://emach.wordpress.com Evan

    I have a hard time believing this is a real post considering how quick you were only a few days ago to defend the player lifestyle after I heavily criticized it, but either way, bravo. This is almost exactly what I would have said if I had 5 or 6 years of PUA street cred to back it up.

    Evan’s last blog post: Food for thought.

  • caro

    this was a lot more than I expected on a friday morning. nice one roosh.

  • Hope

    It seems like a lot of those who “play the field” wrote about the perfect woman as being more than mere meat. Even despite their great outward successes and exclamations to the contrary, players do have a human side.

    We can build up walls around ourselves to keep others out, but in the end the walls confine us to solitude. Humans are social animals by nature, and we need to be able to trust, to love, to be trusted and to be loved. Bonding, building a family, passing on our legacy not just genetically but also our ideas and aspirations. Deep down, despite all the fears of abandonment, pain, divorce, etc. I suspect most of us crave this.

    I’m really sorry to hear about your experiences. There seems to be more unwritten between the lines than written. It might be tempting to blame the woman who started all this, but it could also be just chance. Sometimes love doesn’t work out quite as expected; sometimes it’s unreciprocated; sometimes love itself isn’t enough. Life is full of random chances, some of which hit, and others are just crapshoots.

    Part of your problem could be that you’re too far out from the mainstream curve and need that from your partner. I doubt you could settle for just any pretty face. You shouldn’t give up on the idea yet, though you might want to ease up on the expectations. Maybe you think you don’t want to be in a relationship anymore… but you seem like you still do.

    “The grass is always greener on the other side.”

    Not for some of us. I wouldn’t trade my life for a club/bar hopper’s life for a second.

  • Anonymous

    Someone’s on the rag…

  • http://dchero.wordpress.com dchero

    I have one of those “What-if” girls. I wonder how many guys do. The more I think about it, I’d rather try to marry a perfect mother instead of trying to marry a perfect woman since the point of getting married should be to raise kids anyway. Love and beauty always fade. Oh yeah, tangent alert. Great post Roosh

    dchero’s last blog post: The/My Perfect Woman.

  • http://vksempireofdirt.com virgle kent

    Hope wrote the best comment I’ve read in a long time.

    I guess what I want to say is a player isn’t born he’s created through pain and fire. You have to get hurt so badly that you tell yourself by any means necessary you wont let it happen again.

    Thanks Roosh for finish perfect woman week strong, but fuck you for making me drink last night some of us have real jobs

  • http://jackgoesforth.blogspot.com Jack Goes Forth

    you’re ice cold now, and the world (including JGF) thanks you…

    Jack Goes Forth’s last blog post: How To Dominate the Strawberry Hill Races.

  • DF

    The perfect woman week has indeed been an insightful and entertaining read. This is a great finish.

  • http://www.therawness.com T.

    The cruel irony of life is that most of the time, the more you really value something, the more likely you are to be taken for granted by that same thing you placed value on. You meet scores of women because you stopped valuing them. If you want back to your soulmate mindset, ironically you’d probably have less chance of attracting her.

    T.’s last blog post: The Perfect Woman: A How-To Guide.

  • http://www.therawness.com T.

    Oh, and great post. Nice way to finish up.

    T.’s last blog post: The Perfect Woman: A How-To Guide.

  • Brad

    One of your best posts ever.

    Don’t fret over it, it took me 35 years.

  • Peter

    Good post.

    Hopefully you’re lucky enough to wake up one morning and find that ‘the hate’ (what I called my particular situation) is gone.

  • leena

    that is so sad. do you need a hug?

    but i seriously doubt that your notches have left you completely incapable of viewing women as separate individuals rather than just another possible notch…

  • Sudamericana

    Time flies…is it April Fool’s again?

  • http://roissy.wordpress.com roissy

    beautiful post, man. i can relate.

    If that happened today, I wouldn’t even give a shit, and I think that’s my problem. I’m a machine with flesh, no empathy or love… another night, another performance

    therein lies the rub. only when you don’t give a shit do they come. women have to understand that they are their own worst enemies. they create the monsters in their midst.

    this post was like chick crack. wait a second…

    roissy’s last blog post: You deserve a 10.

  • ????

    Chris, Sweatpants. What are you talking about some Amanda Wenk girl? Did Roosh have a picture up on the post originally or something? Just can’t ifgure out why you two commmented on something that (to me) seems random.

  • D

    thank you Roissy for using the term ” rub” correctly, that was great

  • Nikita

    Jesus, Roosh, that was a phenomenal (and totally unexpected) post! Props for having the balls to be so honest about the “other side” of your game. You’re hard on yourself, perhaps rightfully so, but I know you well enough to be certain that there’s still something good and hopeful in you. A perfectly imperfect girl will find you eventually… And you’ll surprise yourself.

  • Jay Gatsby

    I stopped commenting several months ago because, being a recently-married guy, I believed that had little in common with most of the folks who frequent Roosh, VK & Roissy’s blogs. After reading all of the prior contributions, and now Roosh’s entry, I find myself looking at men who are now where I was several years ago before I met my wife. Back then I was a player and my life revolved around work, the gym and different women every weekend. My apartment door was literally a revolving door. It was a game at which I was reasonably successful, and yet it held very little meaning to me.

    Enter my wife. Attractive brunette with a great head on her shoulders. Like most women I dated, she had her annoying habits. Instead of kicking her to the curb when those habits started to get on my nerves, I decided to see if I could minimize them by setting some boundaries. Over time, we both probably smoothed away our annoying habits and grew closer in the process. Today, while I’m still a very independent guy, I couldn’t imagine my life without her. We complement one another – we don’t complete one another.

  • Chris

    ???? if you had read the post you would see in the first line that Roosh wrote “This is perfect woman week, brought to you by a guy who needs help identifying the girl with the huge breasts in this photo. Here’s what four other fine bloggers before me wrote about this topic…”

    the link that points to the picture of “this photo” is of Amanda Wenk. I was merely answering a question.

  • rcr

    Have you been reading Bret Easton Ellis? I like the defeatism. Makes for great rhetoric.

  • reality

    a full-time girlfriend can also discreetly help with that back hair problem

  • miik

    So you take your adventure, and you balance it with stability, and Bang! a girlfriend will show up who is stable and wants a guy who can handle and share adventures.

    You can take it however it ends up.

  • http://spellyourcast.blogspot.com/ Roya

    Women do it often… create the ‘perfect’ man out of a flawed individual. And then he breaks their heart. I think we just have more stamina in the way of emotional pain, so we jump back in for more. I don’t know what’s worse, repeatedly getting hurt or shutting down…

    Good post

    Roya’s last blog post: in the library.

  • Abhs

    - I once talked to you over instant messenger about a year ago about this form of disillusionment and I felt like we were jiving about this stuff. You’re still my favorite blogger btw!

    Today, I really can’t tell what exactly my relationship with my what-if girl was founded on. Was she me trying to relieve my inadequacies, to fill this hole in myself? If she was, I was the parched man in the desert, and I could not drink enough of the waters of her soul. I was at once in the terrible desperation and manic ecstasy of having too much longing but no release. I could drink and drink endlessly but I was never able to quench the fires within.

    Was that relationship doomed to burn out by my eventually caring too much? Was I bound from the onset to eventually lose my frame? I didn’t care. It felt too real, more real than anything I had ever imagined.. And it ended up consuming me. When we broke up I felt the deepest, most profound pain of my life.

    It’s at once hilarious and depressing to imagine ourselves stubbornly trying to expurgate every ounce of weakness in our bodies, hoping, wishing, to never feel that kind of suffocating weakness again.

    I doubt I could have become who I am today if I did not have the motivation that I did. Changing yourself so comprehensively that your very thought process is intuitively different.. It’s a very demanding exercise, to the point of seeming.. self-sacrificial.

    And now, after all this time, with the once insurmountable conquests made easy lays.. Of pushing myself, at first out of sheer curiosity and later out of a fascinated repulsion, to seeing how completely weak and malleable most people (not only women) are.. I had the same questions.

    Did I kill my old persona and use his lifeless corpse as fuel on the pyres of my rejuvenation? Am I so far removed from him, and by extension, from other people that I may as well be a machine?

    I think it simply comes down to this. We strive to achieve independence so that we might never submit to weakness ever again. We throw off societal bonds and aim for complete self-sufficiency. But doing so, we do not realize that some of these bonds are what made us feel, and what made our existence human in the first place. I stole this from the movie Into the Wild – “Happiness is only real when shared.”

    I do not think anymore that there is one specific perfect woman out there for me. I do not think anymore that another person can complete me. But I also do not believe anymore that strength comes from closing myself off from other people, or repressing the emotions that they elicit. We are not machines. We are vessels and we choose the paths that we take through life. And I believe that in being human, we are strongest.

  • Laura

    Roosh, you have grown up a bit. I am proud of you. Women are not the enemy. We are human beings just like you are. Manipulating them is not the answer. Using or taking advantage of others because it is great sport or just because you can is not the answer. Realizing that you learn from your mistakes and want to share your life with someone you care about is healthy. We all take our lumps in life, but I hope you find her. Good luck and god bless.

  • http://www.bittersweetamalgam.com Angelo De La Vega

    … I should probably feel really dirty for enjoying that picture so much… but I mean… whoa… that Amanda Wenk’s boobs… jesus… I had forgotten about her… I’d say, at the age of 16, she was the perfect “one night” woman.

    Good post.

    Angelo De La Vega’s last blog post: Playing in the Dirt.

  • http://www.nothingtoxic.com/media/1207451591/Meet_Dick_Masterson_the_Most_Chauvinistic_Man_Alive Anonymous
  • http://thatsmyprerogative.wordpress.com/ Ava V

    so when will there be posts for the perfect man?

    Ava V’s last blog post: No Posers 2008.

  • http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/david-deangelo Seduction Chronicles

    Holy shit there are alot of comments on this post.

    The perfect woman? Not sure if it exists before you know her, after getting to know her I think you can evolve with her and get to near perfection to each other.

    I see your Alexa ranking is going down. Nice…

    Seduction Chronicles’s last blog post: Becoming A Natural (Sinn Column).

  • fred

    Yeah, I went through women for a while in college. Eventually when I landed a girl I’d been crushing on for ages during the depths of a rebound from another (eg, not even really trying) I decided that I’d already proved to myself that I can snap my fingers and make something happen. That’s all I really wanted, to know that anything I wanted was possible. After that I started looking for something a bit more fulfilling – your perfect woman I suppose.

    Looking ahead, I can say that when you decide to turn your attentions to business you could make a killing if you don’t forget your game. Have you seen The Riches? Holy fuck that is business to a T. To many assholes with money running around and playing games and tossing bills. Networking is another word for throwing game, making people like you until you get what you need. Yes, you do have to be cold at times too. If you decide to make that leap you could kill.

    Aaaaand my fiancee has just fallen asleep on the sofa wearing my underwear. fin.

  • Anonymous

    you’re officially the Will Ferrell character from Wedding Crashers

  • Poseur

    Roosh check out RSD’s newest pick up inner game product the blueprint. I believe it will have your answers.

  • Poseur

    Oh and does Bang have inner game advice?

  • Sudamericana

    Was this Judy?

  • Todd Hackett

    good, honest self-reflection…

    it’s one thing to be a grand master of game in your 20′s and 30s… but to be pushing 40 (or more) and still preoccupied with “notches” and “flags”…. it’s pretty empty and one can end up alone and kind of a loser. it’s not a matter of either/or… that either youre a game-pro or fat, bald with debt and kids… Based on your photo, You dont have to worry about being bald…or fat, if you keep running… It’s possible to be happy and in a relationship…(with hair and fit too). Who says you need kids or marriage… that is a choice which many couples today opt out of…

    there’s some movie with Art Garfunkle that deals with this… it’s pertinent but i cant remember the title.

    Good luck.

  • Anonymous

    The girls actually a lot hotter with clothes on. You be the judge.

    http://www.fohguild.org/forums/screenshots/17596-amanda-wenk-9.html

  • irina

    Roosh, it’s all in you still. That’s what I first noticed about you. It was not the charade, it was the heart. But where did it go? You could have had so much love if you hadn’t let it go…

  • ovech

    Wow deep stuff…glad to hear I’m not the only one who has these thought. Got burned once many years ago…after recovering and realizing I have game, have yet to have real ‘feelings’ for any girl I meet, regardless of looks, brains, etc. The lifestyle is no doubt fun but what have I really accomplished? Maybe guys like us are truly damaged goods and doomed to a life of notches and stories. Problem is time goes by pretty fast and tomorrow we might be old and alone with nothing but our notches to keep us company.

  • http://www.blacksupermodel@blogspot.com CHIC NOIR

    Wow, this was an excellent post. You really opened up.

  • Anonymous
  • Gunslingergregi

    That is why you need to beat the game of life early so you can move on to other pursuits. Money and time to move rapidly through the basic experiences to reach enlightenment early. So maybe you can live a true life to yourself.

  • Anonymous

    Nearly everyone gets burnt , its a rite of passage and can be used as a valuable learning experience about who we are and how we relate to the world.

    Yes , it can be the source of great angst , bitterness , sadness and anger , but this loss of “innocence” can also be used in a more positive way to make us better people.

  • http://nutmeg96.blogspot.com Megan

    I lived in NYC right out of college. While I was there, it always seemed like there were a ton of great, available women who couldn’t find the right guy because the guys just weren’t ready to treat a woman the right way. Now I see so many guys floating around out there, lost, and by our mid-30s a lot of the girls worth having really are taken. (The good thing for guys, though, is you can always go for a younger girl. For women it’s harder to do that.)

    I think you’re romanticizing your first great love, but that’s what first great loves are for, right?

    I don’t believe in the “if it’s the right person you’ll know” thing, because timing has so much to do with it. I doubt you’re a fan of Sex and the City, but in one episode the girls compare a marriage-ready man to a taxi with its light on. When your taxi light is on, then it will happen.

    I’m not sure it’s on yet.

    Megan’s last blog post: The Mogwai Are Restless.

  • ???

    Megan,

    Excuse me?? The guys were not ready to treat the women right?

    It’s the women with all the games and BS. If a smart, good looking girl (the “great available women” you mention) were without their bullshit games they play things would be a lot different.

  • http://www.fanfrickingtastic.wordpress.com fanfrickingtastic

    This is the saddest post I have ever read. Sad in the sense that guys are even worse than I could have ever imagined. Wow. Lesbianism here I come!

  • http://shannonstamey.blogspot.com Shannon

    The most important part of any game is to know when it’s time to say “game over.” I can’t imagine seeing women as an enemy to be manipulated and conquered, which is what “game” seems to be about. I don’t see men as the enemy. It’s a rather bleak and cynical worldview when you really think about it. Maybe you’ve been a cynic so long that it’s time to let go of the hate.

    Who knows? But I’m interested to see what happens next.

    Shannon’s last blog post: Looking at the People Who Are Looking at the Stuff.

  • http://roissy.wordpress.com roissy

    shannon, game is not about seeing women as the enemy, it’s about understanding human nature and working within its boundaries to get what you want. it’s about accepting reality instead of wishing it away.

    if what men want often seems at odds to what women want, well, that’s because it is. the sexes have opposing goals. we are designed that way.

    roissy’s last blog post: One Year Anniversary: Greatest Hits.

  • http://www.thesoftlounge.com/blog Frank L

    It’s like Adam Duritz had a blog instead of writing the songs he writes. This endless cycle of validation and reflection, Use and regret and making that use and regret sound like more than it is.

    It’s just life. We walk up to the Buddha in the road, don’t kill him, and circle around to see if he makes sense the second time. He never does-in fact his being there stops you from understanding (or so the story goes). It’s this representation of perfection we put outside of ourselves-and as long as that exists outside, it can’t happen inside.

    Which is to say we keep meeting “imperfect” people because we keep meeting our imperfect selves. People keep saying “She isn’t her…”, but they keep meaning “I’m still not me..”

    But fuck it-plenty of people mucking around, screwing up and trying to figure this shit out-and nobody has got a great answer. No shame in just being like everyone else anyway-it’s what makes us relatable.

    Frank L’s last blog post: Nats Don?t Post Loss-Unsure What That Means.

  • mule

    Reality sucks!

  • http://shannonstamey.blogspot.com Shannon

    Roissy, “It’s about understanding human nature and working within its boundaries to get what you want,” sounds an awful lot like exploiting the enemy to me. Then again, you’re right that you can’t change human nature, you can only work within its limits.

    Striving to be a better person isn’t idle wishing or intellectual laziness. It’s seeing the world for what it is, and doing your best to make it a better place and to not exploit others for your personal gain.

    At any rate, judging from Roosh’s post above and my own experiences, you either grow out of it or lose a part of your humanity.

    Shannon’s last blog post: Looking at the People Who Are Looking at the Stuff.

  • http://nutmeg96.blogspot.com Megan

    No, we both misspoke. People — not guys vs girls — need a certain level of maturity to be able to have a real relationship. Anyone who says “guys always X” or “girls always Y” is making a gross generalization and might be whining so much they are turning off the opposite sex. :) Instead of the “ready” taxi sign then you get a “desperate” flashing neon light. Both men and women.

    But that’s clearly not what RooshV is doing. He’s just looking into himself to find out why he’s not ready, or at least why he hasn’t been ready in the past.

    Megan’s last blog post: The Mogwai Are Restless.

  • Laura

    Roosh, even if you do meet that “Perfect Woman”, and things do work out…guess what? People change. If you end up getting married or moving in together, years later neither one of you are the same exact person you both fell in love with. The key is able to accept and deal with each other’s faults and hopefully you can both change together in positive way. Theoretically.

  • http://roissy.wordpress.com roissy

    “It’s about understanding human nature and working within its boundaries to get what you want,” sounds an awful lot like exploiting the enemy to me.

    when a woman strives for a financially secure, tall, funny man who will be devoted to her and willing to relinquish his desire for sexual variety in commitment to her, is that a case of the woman exploiting the enemy? because if it isn’t, then neither is it exploitation when the man follows his own desires and acts to fulfill them.

    roissy’s last blog post: One Year Anniversary: Greatest Hits.

  • http://shannonstamey.blogspot.com Shannon

    Roissy, not to totally hijack the thread, but sure, I’ll hijack the thread.

    I don’t see the world as a man vs. woman battle for dominance. In that, we differ. I get sick of ‘game’ posts, but I also get sick of Cosmo magazine telling women they can hang on to their boyfriends by doing 47 acrobatic things to him per night. I was a bit of a date-aholic when I was younger, I burned out and moved on.

    There’s a point where you decide to just be yourself, and let the chips fall where they may. You opt out. And that’s usually the point where good relationships start to enter your life.

    Basically, play the game all you want, but if the game is all you want, learn to live inside the void.

    Shannon’s last blog post: Crazy Sex-Starved Women!!!!.

  • Todd Hackett

    guys in their 30′s talking about “flags”, “notches”, and referring to adult women as “girls”… it’s a weird subculture and rather pathetic (at times). these blog entries are interesting, informative sometimes, usually well-written, and generate good comments (mine notwithstanding). that’s why it was refreshing to see introspection with this post and an expression of humanity (and honesty)

  • Peter

    p.s. wanted to add what some others already have – that girls are just like us boys – just as whacked – only in different ways.

    and, importantly, they’re only products of their environments. American girls are born as innocent as Brazilian girls – they are conditioned and socialized to be jacked in the head. Their environments are the same as our environments – a cultural wasteland with ‘asteroid belts of garbage’, otherwise known as ‘America’:

    http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/121

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  • renaldo

    The perfect woman stands about 3 feet high, has a flat head (so you set your beer on it), and no teeth!

    Cheers.

  • Anonymous

    excellent post…

  • smile

    two words… peace corps

  • Chris

    This is one of the most profound posts I’ve ever read.

    I can’t help but wonder if this is the way it’s suppossed to be. After much persistance we finally open our hearts and sooner or later we’re resented for it. It’s pushed away. Women tell us things like “Don’t be needy, be a man, be mysterious, take charge, don’t react, make me look cool by being with you, etc.” And we give them these things. For those of us that don’t know how (myself included, we thrust ourselves into literature and communities like this that will teach us how to do these things…to give women what they want. And we get good at it. So good at it…that suddenly we have women, women who wouldn’t even give us the time of day before, now suddenly lining up around the corner for us to give them what they want. And in return they give us sex as the reward for a job well done. Like a high five and a smack on the ass after hitting a home run and returning to the dugout hearing “Good game.” Because sex is what we want, right? And once we get it from whoever we want whenever we want we’re happy, right? At least for a while. Each lay represents a shovelfull of dirt to throw on the old memory of having your heart torn to pieces once upon a time. But there’s a sadness to those girls lining up around the corner…what happens when you put the technique aside and decide to open your heart? Connect? Be human? Is that allowed in this whole arms race of attraction? Or will that be pushed away too? I wonder.

  • Anonymous

    I completely understand Roosh – I am falling into that rabbit hole and it does not feel good. More experience, no love. It sucks but it keeps you going – like a junkie.

  • Consul

    This is the best advise you will ever hear “everything you have learned is meant to be forgotten” if you dont know what it means let me know but I assume you understand.

  • Mike

    Hey man,
    did you ever think that if you just loved a girl completely for her, she woulnd’t dump you? Your talking about how your pissed that a girl dumped you because you liked the love that she gave you. Everybody needs love. Love is the most powerful of all emotions and im sure a all hell you wouldnt have cheated on your girlfriend if some random girl gave you an offer to bang you. Maybe if you just find a nice girl, and love her for her(because girls need it to)she will gain security through your love, and one day love you back for you…..love does exist, its just so few poeple experience because everyones wrapped up in their own insecurities to truly love someone for who they are……

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  • jon

    I always knew Roosh and most guys that live this lifestyle are emotionally damaged, but to hear him admit it makes me wonder…since he knows it, how can he fix it?
    It sounds like it turns into a drug addiction almost. Like people could just as easily turn to alcohol rather than sex with a massive amount of meaningless women. So maybe AA meetings would have some good advice.

  • Anonymous

    Wow, I find this sad. My advice, say no to sex for a while you are only hurting yourself more every time. Concentrate on yourself, through meditation, travel, camping, whatever works for you. What you are looking for is love for your self with all its faults not love towards your egotistic self.

  • Chotomate

    I’m in line w no. 86, very sad. My advice is just don’t use women this way. Just don’t use women period because it hurts you too. All those girls you rate as less than 10 – you have no idea who they really are and you’ll never have their friendship or love. Get to know yourself and just stop having all this disgusting mindless and heartless and loveless sex. Or don’t listen to me and die of aids somewhere in a gutter.

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  • JULZ

    Beautiful in it’s ugliness

  • Garrett

    that was amazing. thank you for sharing Roosh.

  • Theodora

    I find it very funny how we can use any experience as an excuse to do what we’ve always wanted to. It’s all a matter of will. As is the will to quit when we have enough reasons to do so.

  • Anonymous

    Awwwwwwwww. What if you guys got back together? Would things be better?

  • Anonymous

    my friend…why have you dedicated your career to this? it’s pointless. It doesn’t matter how many “scores” you rack up or how much action you get…it’s all meaningless, you know. You’re not happy. I’m sure if you have studied sex as much as you appear to indicate, then you must realize that the best sex is between people who already know and trust and love each other, and have done so for awhile. Wouldn’t you want that? One day, just like the rest of us, you will die. Please don’t fall to a sin like lust; it will consume you and hollow you out, if it hasn’t already. “I know a planet where there is a certain red-faced gentleman. He has never smelled a flower. He has never looked at a star. He has never loved any one. He has never done anything in his life but add up figures. And all day he says over and over, just like you: ‘I am busy with matters of consequence!’ And that makes him swell up with pride. But he is not a man–he is a mushroom!” from The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint Exupery. don’t be a mushroom, and don’t be afraid to extend your heart out again, even if it hurts.

  • Nathan

    There is so much honesty here. The comments are almost as good as the original post itself. Roosh really is striking a chord deep within humankind. It can look ugly from our current societal perspectives–but it is the truth. Let’s be honest. Maybe we’ll change. But until we change, let’s not be liars.

  • TinkyWinky

    The paradox of too much choice… It’s like a drug but for a newer novel hit rather than more of the one substance.

    http://yourbrainonporn.com/garys-tedx-talk-great-porn-experiment

  • TinkyWinky

    Or ‘binging’.

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  • LKS
  • Anonymous

    Awww…I am loving the “perfect woman” series, here and over at the Chateau. So sweet :)

  • Drummurgurl

    Thank you for sharing that. It means a lot to me.

  • novice

    Beautiful post; poetic