The Secret To Getting Laid

Women are a fickle bunch. One minute they want to fuck you, the next minute they won’t bother to return your calls. Placing your bets on one girl is a poor strategy because the conversion rate to sex is extremely low.

The temptation for some guys is to sit back and take occasional shots at the girls they especially want. So a guy has no prospects, gets one, fails with her, and then goes back to having no prospects. This strategy has two consequences: his game remains in a state of rustiness and he gets overly excited at the prospects that do come his way. With no harem to keep his cock golden and ego elevated, he devotes all his mental energy into one girl at a time. Bad, needy game leaks out as a result.

If you want to have sex with one girl, you must do X number of approaches, get Y numbers, go on Z dates, and so on, where Z is less than Y is less than X. A certain number of attempts equals one lay, and that number will always be greater than one, sometimes significantly so. Tell me how many fresh prospects are in your phone and where your game is at and I’ll tell you how many notches you’ll get in the next month.

One reason for this is because lays are the product of momentum, not one-shot deals. It’s similar to surfing. A surfer waits for hours for that nice wave, resigned every now and then to catch the duds. But he definitely doesn’t enter the water and catch a big one right away (unless Poseidon is smiling down on him). If he wants to catch ten good waves he allots several hours in the water. If you want to bang one quality girl, you must approach a ton of girls—about as many that fit in the back of a dump truck.

“But Roosh, what’s the purpose of game if I have to deal with a lot of girls who are not my first choice?”

When you first get in the game your prospects will be mediocre or ghastly. Only the ghastly ones will come through. Then after some time a mediocre girl will open her legs for you. Your prospects gradually improve until some really cute girls enter your pool. Even hot girls if your game is tight. You bang a quality girl every now and then, one that you entered the game for, but your prospect pool will never consist entirely of hot girls. Years into the game you may still service the occasional biggie. I don’t care how hot that guy’s girl is, but it’s a certainty he has banged trolls in his day, and may occasionally continue to do so to keep the beast tamed.

The secret to getting laid is old fashioned hard work. Get your ass out in the field, approach in large numbers, get that experience, build momentum, and it’s almost impossible not to lay a variety of women. Reading blogs or books is fine to learn from the experience of other men, but unless you do the actual work yourself you will never be good. You’ll be the business professor who can talk about theory all day but has never actually run a business in his life, while college dropouts are running billion-dollar companies.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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  • AJT

    For you Warcraft players out there, think of this a farming for trim.

  • Anonymous

    Ah you classy guy. You deleted my comment from the cougar post, and then redirected the IP I posted from to some silly youtube video. Do you have any idea how easy it is to use any of a limitless number of open proxies to get here from another IP? What a petty and pointless act that was. I hope it made you feel better.

    The comment wasn’t even hating. It was simply observing, correctly, that you got played and dissed by a cougar. I guess you can dish it out but you can’t take it.

    Well, I expect you will delete this comment too. Don’t worry, I don’t really care if you do, I am not going to harass you. I’m just surprised that a relatively innocuous comment got under your skin, I mean, you actually post emails from your true haters! I guess I hit a nerve.

  • todd h

    nice breakdown

  • Sam Midhurst

    Great post.

    The game is addictive. Cool thing is, if you live in a good city, there are always more girls to approach.

    I never understood the Roosh hate. I mean, this shit works. Though maybe that’s real reason behind the anonymous vitriol.

  • Anonymous

    I wasn’t hating. I was laughing because I read that story and it sounded to me like he got played. So I didn’t buy his spin on that situation. I said nothing about the game, if I didn’t think this shit worked why would I waste my time reading the blog?

    But I guess there’s no room for discussion here – just roosh worshipping.

    As far as anonymity goes, if made up some name other than anonymous but didn’t link it to anything (like you) would that be better?

  • Firepower

    meh, who gives a fuck if the author was “dissed by a cougar”

    He said what he said; on teh interwebz, anything can be taken as true statement. You’d be satisfied if he said, instead, he fucked Demi Moore while Ashton held his balls?

    Bah. Everyone gets rejected. Even Bruce Willis gets rejected by coogz.

    Bah.

  • Sam Midhurst

    The only guy getting played in that story was the coug’s husband.

  • Carl Sagan

    Solid post.

    A lot of PUAs never mention this. Game has a lot to do with numbers. Most men don’t approach nearly enough girls. Even a modicum of Game will give you a tiny edge in the field. The better your game, the more of an edge you have (up to a point).

  • a different anonymous

    lol. some people are way too invested in what you think of them roosh…

    that aside, flirting/dating is a numbers game regardless of sex. findng someone who you are compatible with and have physical chemistry takes time. your point about sex happening being about momentum is so true, way to remind people of the basics…

  • Lee

    hey anonymous,
    roosh takes the time to put this this shit up for your and other peoples entertainment. he doesn’t need to listen to your shit. this is his turf.

  • BasilRansom

    This is why I love Roosh – total honesty. This post is so on point right now. I’ve had a bit of a dry streak (makeouts here and there but no lays).

    I had a date arranged with an awesome Icelandic girl, was really looking forward to it, something came up, the excuse seemed valid. At the time, she asked to reschedule, still wanted to see me. she later indifferently agreed to a date, and did not respond to a ‘feeler’ text. its dead now, pretty sure. Very likely a case of bad momentum and luck – the mistake was made when I didn’t try to take her home the night I met her.

  • Tampa

    “The Gospel according to”…..Roosh.

    “Praise he, lord of christ.”

  • http://thisisnotimefortheinnocent.blogspot.com/ Benedict Smith

    good post. truth. you want a good free throw, shoot a thousand a day. want to learn to swim, get wet.

    Benedict Smith’s last blog post: Benedict Moves 101: The Arm Pull, Exodus Compliment.

  • Zictor

    Good post, sometimes the obvious needs to be stated for some people to see it.

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com The G Manifesto

    “Even Bruce Willis gets rejected by coogz.”

    Bad example. Bruce Willis is a balding chimp.

    Back to the post:

    Swooping girls is a numbers Game. Numbers give you leverage.

    That is why I date at least 10 girls at the same time. At all times.

    Decent surfing analogy also.

    You could take the analogy further.

    To get good “waves” (fly girls) you need to travel and surf good “spots” (places that have fly girls).

    For instance, you are going to get better waves (hotter girls) if you surf J-Bay (country with fly girls ie Brazil) than if you surf shitty east coast beach break (place with terrible girls ie Cleveland).

    Fair enough?

    - MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Leonardo Notarbartolo: The World’s Biggest Diamond Heist.

  • Firepower

    umm – GREAT fucking example.

    b/c Bruce Willis doesn’t give a FUCK what you scribble in a blogpost.

    He’s a fucking movie star and you’re a snotty, effete intellectual.

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com The G Manifesto

    “b/c Bruce Willis doesn’t give a FUCK what you scribble in a blogpost.

    He’s a fucking movie star and you’re a snotty, effete intellectual.”

    Take the Bruce Willis poster down from your wall in your bedroom fan boy.

    I have a full head of hair.

    - MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Leonardo Notarbartolo: The World’s Biggest Diamond Heist.

  • http://ssmag.wordpress.com a_c

    Of course the question remains as to what you have to do to avoid the trolls.

    a_c’s last blog post: Nuclear Power: How it Works, What’s Next.

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com The G Manifesto

    “Of course the question remains as to what you have to do to avoid the trolls.”

    Don’t drink more than 20 cocktails on a night out.

    - MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Leonardo Notarbartolo: The World’s Biggest Diamond Heist.

  • Firepower

    Yeah, I’ll worship “Leonardo Notarbartolo” like all the sophisticates do.

    As soon as anybody gives a fuck who he is..

  • Anonymous

    Dude, quality observations. So if I want to get good at something, you’re saying I should practice it. I guess that makes sense. Another great one Roosh!!

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com The G Manifesto

    “Yeah, I’ll worship “Leonardo Notarbartolo” like all the sophisticates do.”

    If “worshiping” guys calms you down, I suggest you do it.

    - MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Leonardo Notarbartolo: The World’s Biggest Diamond Heist.

  • http://thedatingcroniclesoftylerd.blogspot.com/ Tyler

    haha, I like the method of avoiding trolls…”don’t drink 20 cocktails”

    My time is valuable, so I avoid trolls no matter how many cocktails. But it is true, quality should improve over time.

    Tyler’s last blog post: The Monday Mystery Date.

  • Firepower

    “I’ll worship “Leonardo Notarbartolo” like all the sophisticates do.”

    If “worshiping” guys calms you down, I suggest you do it.”

    nah, I said I’m not a sophisticate. I’d worship you, but you’re obviously not a man. hey – are you michael jackson lol

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com The G Manifesto

    “I’d worship you, but you’re obviously not a man.”

    Half Man, Half Amazing.

    “hey – are you michael jackson lol”

    Wrong Michael. Jordan would be closer.

    “you’re obviously not a man.”

    Who wrote “lol” above?

    In my world that is what little girls do.

    Or people that idolize celebrities.

    - MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Leonardo Notarbartolo: The World’s Biggest Diamond Heist.

  • guesto

    Great article. Write more like this!

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com The G Manifesto

    Justin Hladik,

    Ha.

    I actually checked. I didn’t get them.

    Re-shoot them.

    - MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Leonardo Notarbartolo: The World’s Biggest Diamond Heist.

  • Kerouac

    Ahh… Spring is in the air.

  • z

    A very true post by Roosh.

    This is exactly the kind of thing my old roomates from back in my day used to tell me when I was 18-19. They both got laid in incredible numbers and always were “running” 3-4 women at a time. It was such a culture shock for me to see that then coming from the quiet suburb I was from, but there it was. They’d hit on women everywhere. The mall, the gym, the apartment pool, the freakin’ mailbox, resturaunts, at lunch, and of course the bars. They developed thick skin and got to where being turned down didn’t bother them in the least. It was “like water rolling off a duck’s back”.

    One of them told me back then, “_________, its not that we are so good at getting pussy, its just that we try so much that even if one in 50 say yes, we are going to get laid a lot”, and “This is just a numbers game, the more you hit on them, the more you get laid”.

  • http://www.therawness.com T. AKA Ricky Raw

    A friend’s dad once said to me, “At the end of the night, what would you rather be, 0 for 3 or 1 for 100?”

    Great advice.

    T. AKA Ricky Raw’s last blog post: A Question to the Readers.

  • ResidentCynic

    “If you want to bang one quality girl, you must approach a ton of girls”

    So true. One big thing is going somewhere where there are tons of hot chicks and not as many dudes. The fact is that if there are a ton of dudes and just a few ugly girls, those even the ugly girls will reject you. You want math to be on your side.

    BTW, Roosh, why is your site so slow? It takes forever to load your page. Anyone else experience this?

  • Roosh

    “BTW, Roosh, why is your site so slow?”

    Loads fine for me. Try pagewash.com and see if it’s any different.

  • spyder11

    loads fine for me.

  • terps

    Loads fine on my PC, slow on my mobile.

    Great post btw, I know a few people I need to show this to.

  • ResidentCynic

    Loads faster in pagewash.com, but I can’t comment through that.

    I don’t know, maybe it loads slow because I’m on the West Coast? grasping at straws here…

  • Roosh

    Run this:

    http://www.fluidhosting.com/traceroute.php?host=rooshv.com

    If there is no loss at the last hop or two then it’s not my server but the path from your ISP to my host. Sometimes these clear up in a day or two

  • ResidentCynic

    Yep, that was it roosh. There’s two hops with 40+% packet loss and one in Atlanta with over 80%. Damn.

  • abe

    The problem with your post, Roosh, is that it doesn’t address the fact that many guys manage to get laid without all this effort and hard work. This fact alone will always shame PUAs who try so hard.

    My older brother is not aware of the PUA community yet he consistently manages to get laid to hot chicks (we live in Northern VA and a hot German girl came down from New York just to be with him this weekend.)

    Just as girls with average looks can’t will themselves to look hot, so too can’t men without attractive-alpha tendencies make themselves into naturals who pick up a lot of women. Sure, the average looking gal can put on a lot of makeup and try to be as pretty as possible, but at the end of the day she’s working with limited material and she’s just a tad pathetic for trying. So too with PUAs.

  • Roosh

    “that many guys manage to get laid without all this effort and hard work”

    That’s a reality that the guys working their asses off now will see many years down the road. That’s a different topic… not being a PUA but becoming your own man. Guys who aren’t there yet need to put in their dues first, as I did.

  • hans dampf

    Post makes sense. I have a question though: What about the risk of lowering your social value by this mass action? If you get rejected by a lot of girls and other girls notice won’t your status drop in their eyes? This problem should increase if you visit a pick-up place regulary or live in a smaller town.

  • RW

    The verdict is guilty as far as I’m concerned. A friend who was a PUA and followed the numbers game rule to the core told me to cast a wide net. We flew down to Miami for a weekend and I did try but my heart wasn’t into it. I just can’t get motivated by a 7 let alone a 6.

    Even a 9 can be a turnoff once she opens her mouth. It is what it is. They say I’m picky.

    But unlike my peers, I have not been married, divorced and taken to the cleaners. And unlike my best buddy, am not paying 2500 a month in child support so my ex-wife can live in their former suburban home and live with their gardner, who she married not a year from the divorce she requested mere months after separation. A full year was too much for her. (Apparently, she had plans.) Now she complains to my buddy if he’s late a few days on the payment. She says she needs the money to pay the mortgage.

    True Story.

    Will work more on the approaches. One friend told me back in our days, you have to stop turning girls down. It’s true, I am a picky bastard. But darn, I like to be careful where I put my holiest of holies.

    Two things I hope to pass on to children one day: Daddy never smoked crack and never banged a troll.

  • http://thedatingcroniclesoftylerd.blogspot.com/ Tyler

    RW, no one should be motivated by 6′s and 7′s. I don’t know how much you get laid…but it sounds like you’re so picky it may have been some time. This is just speculation of course.

    I have friends who are “too picky” but in my honest opinion, I think they are too scared to approach them. Just loosen up, you’ll probably have a better time. Bang that annoying 9 and move on. You’re not marrying her.

    Tyler’s last blog post: The Monday Mystery Date.

  • RW

    Thanks Tyler, no it’s not a fear issue. It’s more of having it too easy. They make eye contact, I evaluate and move on. (Depends on dress, circumstance, etc.)

    When a woman has any interest they use non-verbal big. They will position themselves near you to give you the “opportunity” to engage. This happens all the time, from a little store to a bar. Not saying it happens every single day.

    I’m going to take your advice and go ahead and bang the annoying 9. Or even an 8. But no fatties.

  • lurker

    Hey G, always your fan here, but don’t be hating on Willis or baldness. Don’t know where the anger comes from, but legend tells Willis was pulling in quality trim while a short, balding, poor, ugly bartender in NYC.

    He had game even then. Now he’s a whale gambler with 20-something pussy. He’s a life to live up to, not denigrate. Not a fanboy, but the man makes some good movies and deserves respect.

    And baldness? Hair is overrated. Witness the women who get all sorts of wet for Patrick Stewart. A short bald dude from a fanboy show. But Stewart has tight game. Now he’s sleeping with a 20 year old—a girl 1/3 his age.

    Peace.

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com The G Manifesto

    lurker,

    I got you.

    My thoughts on celebrity range from no thought to minimal thought. Celebrity worship just bugs me. Especially when it comes to their personal lives.

    Truth be told, most celebrities are ponces with minimal Game. I have victories over those guys to prove it. Most of their “legend” (as you put it above) is media hype.

    Willis just happened to be on the end of my wrath. In reality, I don’t care about the guy at all.

    And bottom line, I swoop hotter girls than he does.

    “And baldness? Hair is overrated.”

    Don’t take offense, but that is said only by people with no hair. Similar to only people with zero dough say “money is the root of all evil”.

    “Witness the women who get all sorts of wet for Patrick Stewart.”

    Who is Patrick Stewart?

    See, I give these guys no thought.

    - MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Leonardo Notarbartolo: The World’s Biggest Diamond Heist.

  • Firepower

    hey, don’t hate on G. it takes a lot of fencesitting to hate on baldass Bruce…but then use Michael Jordan as his personal avatar. It’s so… 1992. I thought jordan died LOL.

    LOL. I’m gonna go read his blog that’s all about b list celebs like jon stewart. Fencesitting is good for his sphincter. LOL. Oh, and LOL

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com The G Manifesto

    abe,

    “My older brother is not aware of the PUA community yet he consistently manages to get laid to hot chicks (we live in Northern VA and a hot German girl came down from New York just to be with him this weekend.)”

    Having one “hot German girl come down” is hardly the mark of a true playboy. Plus, living in Northern Virginia, disqualifies your brother from being cool right off the bat.

    hans dampf

    “This problem should increase if you visit a pick-up place regulary or live in a smaller town.”

    The real problem is living “in a smaller town”.

    RW

    “I just can’t get motivated by a 7 let alone a 6.”

    I don’t really like the 10 point scale, but either way you need to lighten up. Maybe have a few drinks. Get a fly exotic 7 to give you a blower sometime. It WILL be motivating.

    “I’m going to take your advice and go ahead and bang the annoying 9. Or even an 8.”

    Yes. Live life. Unwind.

    - MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Leonardo Notarbartolo: The World’s Biggest Diamond Heist.

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com The G Manifesto

    Firepower,

    Talking to you is like having a conversation about International Casino Development and Investing with a homeless person.

    - MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: Leonardo Notarbartolo: The World’s Biggest Diamond Heist.

  • Firepower

    Talking at The G maninfested is like talking to The Donald about self-aggrandizement.

    Ask him how my Melco PBL stock is doing. LOL

  • lurker

    Hey G, I’m with you on the celebrity worship.

    But don’t hate on Willis’s game till you google his girlfriends. There’re a lot more celebrities who could get laid without their fame, he ain’t one of them.

    And he and you would kill gambling together. Gotta give him respect: he shouldn’t be the action star he is. But he is.

    Stewart…well, he was the second star trek captain. late 60′s now. average sized dude (5’8″). Big nose. Skinny. But talk to chicks who know who is; they’ll tell you he’s got the Sean Connery leader/Bond vibe going. And, like I said, plowing quality trim right now.

    And I’m not offended, I’ve got my hair. ;) Fact is, baldness doesn’t run in my family, so I don’t have to worry there, not that I would. But I know 2 things:

    1) I live in nyc, and I have seen some balding little Jewish dudes absolutely smoke some otherwise fly dudes of all colors and take the girl. It’s their attitude of dominance that wins the girl; chicks forget the hair once they lay down the law. That inspired me towards game.

    2) I’ve shaved my head on occasion, and was floored by how some women were absolutely on me where before they hadn’t been. It changes with the woman; as RooshV says, if you think girls only go for the Details/GQ look, you’re never gonna know that girls go ape over different things. So if a bald guy shaves his head, bang, these chicks would be on him like neck bone.

    Keep it real, G.

  • gig

    The G is usually fun to read, but had a spasm of hate lately. Hating on bald guys, red state puas, alpha celebrities

    Also, the best PUA I know in the city of Rio is a balding guy who lives with his grandmother (he is 28)(but in the best neighbourhood) and is earns considerably less than ourmutual circle of friends.

  • Anonymous

    “Even a 9 can be a turnoff once she opens her mouth. It is what it is. They say Iâ??m picky… One friend told me back in our days, you have to stop turning girls down. Itâ??s true, I am a picky bastard. But darn, I like to be careful where I put my holiest of holies.”

    It’s ok, just embrace your homosexuality.

    Guys who love pussy, love pussy.

  • Brandon

    It almost sounds like you are suggesting that scoring a bunch of ugly chicks makes you a player. I honestly think you are more of a player if you can score 1 hottie a month than 5 unglies. Ugly girls take almost no effort. I could probably get laid by at least 2 or 3 girls a week if I went for uglies. But that ain’t my steeze. You don’t look at a guy making out with an ugly girl at the bar as a player, at least I don’t. I look at him and think, poor guy probaby can’t get anything else. I don’t have a new girl every week, but I have a hot girl when I get them, and I’m always getting complimented on the chicks I pull. Quality over quantity.

  • Firepower

    I agree, quality is now my prime motivator.

    Idiots misread Von Clausewitz’s “quantity has a quality all its own” axiom to read: “I’ll fuck any twat that gives me iois”

  • Anonymous

    I just had to google PUA. I usually don’t leave comments on blogs, but, holy shit, you guys are pathetic. I’m so glad I don’t live in DC anymore.

  • Firepower

    so long, mr Daschle. we enjoyed your work

  • abe

    “Thatâ��s a reality that the guys working their asses off now will see many years down the road. Thatâ��s a different topicâ�¦ not being a PUA but becoming your own man. Guys who arenâ��t there yet need to put in their dues first, as I did.”

    No, I don’t think it’s necessarily the case. I’m sorry, but blogs like this cater to hopeless AFCs who are eager to apply lessons from biology to women but aren’t so eager to apply it to themselves.

    Most men who are successful with women find their success naturally and instinctively, without having to try or resort to blogs or manuals.

    That simply stems from their NATURE. They effortlessly exude alpha qualities women find attractive.

    Their isn’t much “effort.” These men just ARE what they are.

    Similarly, hot women ARE what they are by nature.

    Here’s the sad truth: some men were meant to be by nature LEADERS and others FOLLOWERS. Women are instinctively attracted to the former, and nature did not distribute leadership/alpha-ish qualities among men fairly.

    If you are horrible and needing to read blogs to get women to talk to you, chances are you will not find inordinate success with women–and even if you do, that success is undermined by all the effort you put into it. You cannot change your nature just as a chick can’t change her looks at will.

    At the end of the day men who give so much thought to pussy are a tad pathetic.

  • http://roissy.wordpress.com roissy

    abe the naysayer:
    You cannot change your nature just as a chick can�t change her looks at will.

    a fat chick can get thinner.
    she will then get more attention from men.
    this is analogous to a man learning game.
    i’d tell you to think about it, but it sounds like you just want to shake your fist at those damn kids.

    At the end of the day men who give so much thought to pussy are a tad pathetic.

    it’s more fun than comparing golf handicaps.

    roissy’s last blog post: Predator Sluts.

  • abe

    An overweight chick with a pretty face can still be hot–thinness is not attractive in and of itself. Indeed, there are many fuglies who are thin.

    A man learning game is more analogous to an average (or ugly) chick trying to make herself look younger and more nubile.

    Indeed, “prize” women command attention because of their inherent beauty/youth. Similarly, many men attract women because of their inherent alpha qualities. There is little men or women can do to change the handicaps nature has placed on them. These “truths” from evolutionary biology are as unfortunate for men as they are for women.

    You damn well know most of the men who read these blogs–who, indeed, need to–are disadvantaged (probably biologically) compared to men who score women without exerting nowhere near as much energy.

    Roosh and Roissy readers are equivalent to loser average/plain chicks who read “how to catch the right guy!” type of books and columns.

  • http://www.thesimpledollar.com CN

    abe An overweight chick with a pretty face can still be hot�thinness is not attractive in and of itself. Indeed, there are many fuglies who are thin.

    A man learning game is more analogous to an average (or ugly) chick trying to make herself look younger and more nubile.

    Indeed, �prize� women command attention because of their inherent beauty/youth. Similarly, many men attract women because of their inherent alpha qualities. There is little men or women can do to change the handicaps nature has placed on them. These �truths� from evolutionary biology are as unfortunate for men as they are for women.

    Agreed but to roissy, a thin ugly girl ain’t too bad.

    CN’s last blog post: Is a Frugality Tip That Saves You a Quarter a Waste of Time? Some Notes on Economies of Scale.

  • Roosh

    abe: since you argue that a man can’t change his lot with women, are you saying you accept that you are a loser who will never fuck the hotties? that sucks.

  • abe

    I think that an average guy can probably improve his chances–there is much truth to the “numbers game.” But that sort of commitment is sort of pathetic. Most men who are successful with women don’t need to work that hard at it. They are by nature good with women, and I bet that most of the PUA gurus are this type of guy. The pernicious thing is that these gurus set up blogs and businesses premised on the idea that any guy (if only he’s willing!) can replicate their success. That’s fantasy–and probably a hurtful one as well.

    I think the only sane advice for average dudes isn’t to seek unlimited sex but to focus on their prospects and find a nice girl to settle down with. The end goal should be happiness, not temporary, fleeting indulgence.

  • abe

    And yes, I may never fuck a hotty. But so what?

  • abe

    Roosh said: “That’s a reality that the guys working their asses off now will see many years down the road. That’s a different topic… not being a PUA but becoming your own man. Guys who aren’t there yet need to put in their dues first, as I did.”

    What if your “all I had to do was try!” story is fundamentally false and you are successful with women because of natural charm/other personality endowments? Do you know how much misery you’re spreading around by planting in many desperate men the hope that they can do what you frequently do by just trying?

  • chilly

    isnt there a point in which your game becomes so tight, that you dont have to run the numbers game,you dont have to exude so much effort, you just make the most of every oppurtunity count? And that by being completely honest and upfront about your intentions is the best way to go?

  • chilly

    and i dont mean being the guys who are rock stars, or very wealthy

  • Roosh

    You’ll always be running some form of numbers game since no guy bangs every girl he goes after.

  • http://thedatingcroniclesoftylerd.blogspot.com/ Tyler

    It is a numbers game because there is no way it couldn’t be. And I think if you could bang every girl you attempted to hit on, you would probably want to raise your standards. Going out is fun anyways, you shouldn’t really be too concerned about the numbers. If this is stressing you out then you’re in the wrong mindframe….

    Tyler’s last blog post: Monday’s Date (Part 2).

  • Female Body Inspector

    Abe,

    As humans, we have evolved to the point where we are largely able to overcome the constraints of our genetics and evolutionary biological, instinctual “programming.” An example: maintenance of eye contact is a marker of dominance both in humans and in lions. When a weaker lion locks eyes with a stronger one, the one who is less dominant automatically averts his gaze. Humans, on the other hand, since we UNDERSTAND that maintenance of eye contact is a marker of dominance, can WILL ourselves to maintain eye contact in various situations, even though our instinctual pull might be to avert our gaze. Over time, and with proper training, we can most definitely change the dominance dynamic in social situation precisely because we have reached a point where we have a better understanding of how this dynamic operates. The world you are describing is best suited to lions, or the lesser primates, where genetics and evolutionary biological instincts do indeed predominate. One need only look at the fact that many, if not most, presidents, CEOs, and others in positions of power and leadership are not the most physically-dominant members of our species for negation of your point. Of course, natural gifts of both athleticism and intellect exist, but learning and persistence can do wonders where there is a deficit in either…

  • Logic

    To Abe:

    I agree with Abe to a certain extent. We need to be more realistic about what’s possible for the average male to achieve with Roosh’s or any other guru’s methods. I also agree that just finding a good girl would probably maximize our happiness over time instead of chasing new sexual partners endlessly.

    But even if a man is looking for just one reasonably good – looking, loyal woman, he’s going to need to be able to approach and play the dating/pickup game to a certain extent. There’s no denying it – a good woman is simply not going to land in our laps. So Roosh’s work here is still needed IMO.

    I had a good girl once. I dated her for five years. I lost her (or I should say – gave her away) because I got wrapped up in the pickup game – I wanted more sexual variety. I thought it would be more fun and exciting and fresh. Even when I was sleeping with 2 or 3 girls regularly, I honestly was happier with my main girl. Just an average, 7ish girl (on a 10 scale) who took care of me and I loved dearly.

    I guess what I mean is, I think Roosh’s lifestyle may be fun, but for me, life is better when the girl is giving you sex whenever and however you want it AND she’s actually a good friend of yours.

    To Female Body Inspector:

    I know you don’t mean any harm, but honestly, evolutionary theory is something that’s thrown around the pickup industry but offers little true value.

    I don’t think it’s helpful to the average guy trying to get better with women because it’s simply not practical – we can’t remember all of this in a pickup. And it may try to explain things, but all of us know that shyness/submissiveness when you’re trying to lead an interaction your way is less helpful than a friendly, assertive (so both parties know where the dynamic is heading and if she doesn’t like it, you can move on quickly) demeanor. Do we really need to take shots in the dark as to the biological reasons behind these things?

    So much talk of alpha this, beta that, etc…. sigh.

    Suffice it to say that when you’re comfortable and in a good mood, you will automatically start to exhibit more attractive behavior than you would being nervous, and let’s all get out there and become more comfortable through practice.

  • Female Body Inspector

    “we can’t remember all of this in a pickup”

    what’s to remember? just try maintaining eye contact in your day to day activities. it isn’t hard at all, and you’ll notice the world looks totally different when you’re not looking at the ground all the time…

    i’m by nature an introvert, and have gotten more mileage out of this one simple technique than I could have ever imagined

    as for “taking shots in the dark” regarding the evolutionary biological underpinnings of behavior—you could not be farther from the truth—this is not conjecture but substantiated fact proven though rigorous scientific analysis and extensive studies of both animals and humans

    that having been said, i don’t wish to engage you, or anyone else, for that matter, in a senseless online argument in this forum. I enjoy reading the Roosh content, and find it both entertaining, and helpful, and do enjoy making a comment from time to time. best of luck to all in your dating endeavors.

  • speakeasy

    This post may not be a groundbreaking revelation, but certainly a good reminder of what we need to be doing. It reminds me of the challenges I have when trying to take good photographs. I have to take 100 just to have 10 that I really, really like. As I become better, maybe that number will get to 10 great shots for every 40.

    Good post, thanks for the reminder.

  • Logic

    Female Body Inspector:

    You’re right, no need to argue.

    I just prefer the advice – maintain eye contact – more than the theory I guess.

  • AZI0

    I would loove to go on a date with you.

  • John

    Might want to re-check the old grammar before posting…

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  • http://youattractwomen.com Yep

    This is a great example of why I think the “gaming” i.e. “pick up” approach sucks. Again, just IMHO.

    The moment I left this “pick up” paradigm was when I met guys who were getting laid with many hotter girls, much more often and with no effort or work involved.

    What I’m getting at…

    If you have to do x aproaches to get y numbers which turn into z closes… Have you actually ever calculated the effort/time (skill) involved in that and how much one good-lay is costing you?

    Have you ever considered that if you had invested all that time in building something (say a band) you’d be a minor rockstar by now?

    One guy I know who gets laid without ever doing pick up, owns a modelling agency and is always hopping from one show/event to another. This other guy is a dance instructor so he spends most of his time at events with like 300 cute female dancers and he’s the only guy. Do you think he does the whole xyz thing? Nope, he just picks one of the 100 girls who are hitting on HIM that week.

    So why not build up the lifestyle where you don’t even have to deal with xyz?

    Yep’s last blog post: 7 ways to Attract women (even non-fugly ones!).

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  • Wolf

    Just re-read this, and it’s solid advice. I’ve read a lot of PUA advice, but I keep coming back to Roosh’s posts over and over because they speak the truth. The more I game, the more I see it.

    Sadly, the part about your early prospects being ghastly is also true. A lot of guys (including myself) get into game to get the 9s and 10s and failing at that, lose all motivation to go out and approach the ghastly and the beastly. Or they think that 5s are “easier” than 10s, and thus not worth the challenge. But the truth is that when you have no Game the 5s are PLENTY hard enough.

    But a PUA I respect put it this way, “Everyone who gets good starts out succeeding with the 4s and 5s first, and then works their way up to the 9s and 10s.” It’s an ugly truth about Game that almost no PUA guru will tell you.

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  • Harry

    With regards to getting ghastly girls in the first year of learning your game, if you do that, if you take home some ghastly looking women, you are making a big mistake. I slept with a half dozen women I knew I shouldn’t have, they weren’t all too attractive, the reason I did it was to cure myself of the habit of always wanted to bang women. It worked for a good long while. Why? Because ghastly women are brutal to your self esteem, they try to take it out with ghastly remarks and comments, they project all of their own shortcomings onto you and they undermine your self confidence like they are a U-boat on a seek and destroy mission. Hell, one of those cretons learned that I had a very strict and healthy diet. So, given that she had a few zits, she asked me to accompany inside of a store where she walked me down a half dozen pre-selected aisles where she stopped and stood to consider unhealthy junk food items. She wasn’t picking up a thing, mind you, just leading me over to it all. Finally, I made the mistake of picking up an item. A week later, I had a big zit on my forehead, the next store she asked me to accompany her to was a Target. She walked me over to the zit cream medication and asked me to look them over and tell her which one I thougt was best. Nice.

  • Harry

    You may be wondering where I would have gotten the idea that the cure for rampant promiscuity could come about from fucking fuck-ugly women, well, I saw a friend do exactly that before he married. Of course, it wasn’t long before his wife became fuggly herself.

  • http://www.marvelousmanboobs.com/ David H. Fucktrelle-Male Feminist Extraordinaire™

    oh, Rooshiepoops, you think you are being so original-this is just sales 101, I think they call it metrics in the sales manual.

    100+ cold calls to get three appointments to get two completed sales presentations to get one person who buys your product….

    Pipeline isn’t just a song by the ventures, y’know….

    http://www.4hoteliers.com/4hots_fshw.php?mwi=2785

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  • Instant Loser

    I don’t believe getting laid is even possible. I don’t believe it’s possible to improve your game. Constant failure = more constant failure, adnauseum. Whether she be a 4 or a 10, there is no way to get a woman to sleep with you. Not possible. No way. No how. Cannot be done. I am 100% certain I’ll die a virgin.

    The advice I’m looking for is how to stop thinking about sex, and stop noticing women completely (in a sexual sense, I just want to think of them as “people”) so I can have some peace of mind.

    That is all I want.

  • The Male Insider

    Settling for mediocre women isn’t acceptable on a routine basis. The only thing it can do is lower your self esteem.

    In the very beginning, if you have insecurities about sex or being with women, I completely agree it’s the way to go.

    But don’t make it a habit, settling for mediocre women because they are easier to pick up.

  • Hudders

    One more thing, the more you settle for lesser quality women, the lazier you become and the easier it is to do it.

  • Laced roc G

    Man that’s sick thinking. If you give up it won’t happen but if you keep trying you can achieve your goal.
    It’s painful but you can get out of your rut. I wish you well. Keep trying.

  • quit being a vag

    Yeah pussy? Your a big fuckin pussy!

    Seriously pussy boy what you need to do is man up and quit being such a little vag. How do you get women to sleep with you? Approach, game, close.

    Thats it: Approach, Game, Close. Rinse and repeat. If you are approaching less than 10 girls, up it to approach 20 girls a night. Go out 3 nights a week and do 20 approaches. In one month you will have gotten laid.

  • Biff B.

    Have your balls surgically removed. If you won’t use them, you certainly don’t need them. Almost immediately you’ll enjoy the peace and serenity of the complete absence of sexual desire.

  • someone122

    hilarious and so true

  • someone122

    Exactly what I did. If you don’t have the brilliance to do so you can do what every other sane and normal man does and that is meet good women through events and hobbies so you actually make friends with some people you have something in common with and through this avenue meet a female you actually LIKE who actually LIKES you because you share similar interests and passions.

  • someone122

    A fast momo play for go aloners ergo men without a wing man go to the strip bar for 2 hours and chat a lot even work different games or not but then take your chatty warm up to the bar or club or event. There are many plays after that. Just go warmed up.

  • someone122

    The problem for most men is they are hitting on women they don’t actually like. Their penis plays a mind game on them and they start hitting on women they really can’t stand (sluts) or have any real interest in outside of sex. Women pick up on that insincerity and or game pickup thing right away. So it becomes a shot in the dark 9 times out of 10. And if you manage to get 5 minutes of her undivided attention your game is weak or timing her is wrong because she has enough penis at the moment or you haven’t been in the bar long enough that evening for her to size you up as being a safe guy to hang with. But more than likely you really don’t have interest and timing is not right for YOU either because you think you need a 6 figure job to land that babe who isn’t a slut so you sabatoge yourself again with sarcasm or as stated earlier your hitting on women you don’t really want because you hate sluts but your penis says you love sluts but you really don’t. Its a vicious self defeating cycle. Quit the night game all together and go meet good girls. Or go out with your night game just for the game of it to see how good you can get at it. Its getting there that is more fun for you newbies. For us older players we are bored with working it bored getting it by not working it and bored after getting it. Bored Bored Bored

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  • neme

    and not one word about male looks was read that day..

  • Brad

    oh god more ghastly trolls every day their numbers are increasing

  • RebelAlliance

    Excellent post Roosh. I want to keep coming back to this to remind myself of the nature of pickup. Also, to all the dudes saying “this is too hard boo hoo”, what are you doing here? GTFO