The best way to tell if a girl is attracted to you or not is if she asks you personal questions. The more she wants to know about you, the more likely you will have sex with her. The problem with this method is that it’s not foolproof, especially at night, where a girl will ask you things like what you do or where you live without any intention of getting banged by your vein snake. You’ll also encounter girls who are so shy that they don’t ask you questions even though they’re interested.
There’s another indicator that is even more reliable in predicting a successful outcome, and that’s if she’s increasing her stake in the conversation. In other words, is she talking more than when you first started? If yes, then you have a solid prospect on your hands. Otherwise, the conversation will soon end. I’ve noticed this phenomenon before but only now have I realized that it does just as good of a job in determining if sex will occur than when a girl asks you personal questions. Combine the two and you might as well be able to predict the future.
Whether a girl is shy or not, you should see a relative increase of her participation in the conversation no later than the three minute mark. For example, let’s say that you approach a girl and during the first three minutes you’re doing 75% of the talking, which is about standard. If after those three minutes you’re talking even more then I guarantee the conversation will die. Here’s how a failed approach looks on a graph:
Girl is pink, guy is blue
It seems to be going well in the initial moments because of her participation, but after a mild bump that gives you false hope, she gradually goes silent. Our ego wants to think that she’s enraptured with what we’re saying, so we keep going and going, oblivious to the fact that she’s actually not at all interested and planning an exit strategy. All a sudden she hits us with a “I’m going back to my friends” and we’re left stunned. Why did she leave when she was listening to everything I said?!
What many men fail to understand is that seduction is a two-way street. The girl must be participating. The more she talks, the better it will go, even if she’s interrupting your turbo game material. There’s much truth in age-old advice to shut the fuck up and let a woman talk (once attraction is established).
Here’s how successful pickups look:
Notice how she steadily increases her share in the conversation. Often times she ends up talking more than you, sending the pink line over the blue.
When you notice she’s talking less than when you first started, understand that her attraction for you is decreasing. Continuing to talk won’t help matters, so what can we do to improve the situation?
Shut your mouth.
If you notice she’s talking less, just stop talking completely after using one of the silence lines I wrote about before. Additional lines you can try (said with a smirk):
“Can you please stop talking? I can’t get a word in with you.”
“I noticed you’re not talking much. Do you not like foreign men with beards like lush carpet?”
The best thing you can do when she’s pulling back is to push her away. If she then makes the decision to stay, she will automatically invest herself more into the conversation. The worst thing you can do is talk even more in the hopes that something will hook her, because she’s probably not even paying attention to your words anyway.
This technique is not a fix for building attraction; it merely tosses you a life vest when you’re already drowning. It gives you a chance at survival, but understand that over 80% of the time the interaction is unsalvageable if she’s withdrawing from it. Therefore it saves you time more than anything. Unfortunately, as you already know, you won’t be able to connect with every girl you approach.
The talking ratio is like a good friend telling me that I’m doing well. It reminds me to relax a bit once the conversation is established and focus more on letting her do what she wants in order to get comfortable with me. It lets me know that the hard part of the approach is done, and all I have to do is start touching and think about getting the kiss.Tweet Follow @rooshv
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Wow, you weren’t exaggerating about how many followers you have. Impressive.
With the past two posts, you’ve been focusing on how to tell if a girl is a suitable target/attracted to you as opposed to describing which actions will attract a girl to you.
This change in focus is much welcome. Personally, I think that at a club, before 1 am, game guys are playing musical chairs to get the willing/interested-in-hooking-up girls. It’s a matter of who puts in his bid first to the most willing target – as you wrote in a post long time ago.
I think that ‘pick up’ isn’t so much about convincing just any girl to swallow your vein snake but more about finding a girl who steps into the club/street interested in meeting a man. This aspect of game is usually ignored.
Keep the posts on knowing/predicting/detecting as opposed to doing.
The word “intercourse” means “conversation”. If she isn’t participating in intercourse with you, she isn’t going to participate in sexual intercourse with you either.
Roosh for president. Listening to guys talk incessantly at girls offends all of my various sensibilities.
One of these days, probably when I migrate to foreign lands next month, I’m buying the Day Game book.
For now it’s unnecessary, since it probably doesn’t cover how to deal with taking stripper’s money while having them pay for all my drinks:
Good one. I like the graphs.
I have been having some similiar thoughts recently. I learned that I don’t want to be the one talking. Like you said, the more I listen, the more chance I have to get laid.
Many guys talk to much. They don’t give the girl a chance to speak. They sometimes fail to realize that the girl is trying to say something. She might be curious about you, but you never gave her a chance to explore you.
If she starts talking, let her go, don’t cut her off.
@3 – I like that. I had never heard that before.
Excellent post Roosh, this is some golden advice.
Basically it boils down to “investment”, I’ve been realizing the more a woman invests in the interaction; (asking questions, talking, getting to know you, moving around w/ you, etc.), the greater your chances of success with her.
Please keep these game posts coming.
Roosh, the more you get theoretical, the more I like your game theory. It all makes sense, in a non-cryptic way. Keep going, master!
“You’ll also encounter girls who are so shy that they don’t ask you questions even though they’re interested.”
My buddy and I had a term for girls who, even though they were interested in you, refused to keep up their end of the conversation. We called them “deadbeats.”
You are well on your way towards developing into an anti-gamer, my friend.
You do realize this flatly contradicts earlier advice of yours to *ramble* and generally do more of the talking, as seen in Bang and on this blog?
Not criticizing, just pointing out that you have grown and developed as a human being – of all the gamers out there, I always thought you were one of the few who had the honesty and integrity to eventually develop into an anti-gamer.
You just always seemed to have a spark of pride – sometimes very tiny, but always there – that made me think eventually you would grasp how demeaning it is to do all sorts of tactics and try so hard with women.
Give it a few years, and I predict you will repudiate the gamer label completely. I would not be surprised if privately, amongst friends, you already do ;)
I find you either get a chick that doesn’t say much, or one that doesn’t know when to shut up, and YOU can’t get a word in edgewise. It’s difficult to come across that perfect balance, where it’s actually a CONVERSATION. A give and take. If you find a chick that can take it beyond “how old are you/what do you do/where are you from?” then you’ve probably found someone who’s genuinely interested in knowing you, and hopefully fucking you shortly.
Miike: I think you’re being a little selective with how you read this. I still state that you will be doing 75% of the talking initially, and even when that comes down, that could still mean 60% or more. The point is not to withhold ramble or talk less, but just make sure *she* talks more as time goes on. You still need tight ramble/talking skill to get to the point where she is participating more in the conversation.
” The more she wants to know about you, the more likely you will have sex with her.”
These are called “buying questions”.
“The best thing you can do when she’s pulling back is to push her away.”
This is called “the takeaway”.
Remember when swooping:
You have 2 ears and 1 mouth; use them in that ratio.
And “swooping is not telling”.
The Rest is Up to You…
This is correct but there are many more signs of attraction other than her investing in the conversation. You will read them in her body language, eye contact, touching and a general vibe she might be giving off. Sometimes it’s very subtle, but when it’s there, it’s there.
Agreed. Stage three of my daygame model is precisely about this – investment.
You have to create the energy in the beginning to make the interaction stick, which means doing most of the talking, but once she’s hooked you are looking to reduce your energy and make her work.
Tried that “foreign…beard…lush carpet” line.
Doesn’t work as well for clean shaven white guys, just FYI.
Add a third chart where she is doing 75% of the conversation and you end in the friend zone.
Came to this from your link in the British Virgin part 1.
Talking too much is pretty much my biggest conversation problem, in the wider world, not just with pickup