The Truth About Medellin

Time really flies when you stay in the same place and develop a routine. Six months in Colombia is done and gone as tomorrow I leave Medellin for Fortaleza, Brazil. From there begins a 1,700 mile journey back to Rio that I plan on tackling by bus (check the about page for map updates). I’m sure nothing bad at all will happen during that time.

Before leaving Medellin I wanted to do a sort of tribute video that shows how far the city has come from the Pablo Escobar days of the past. Using clips I’ve shot of the city over the past couple months, I’ve put together something poweful which I’m confident will increase Colombian tourism by a significant amount. In fact I’m expecting the Colombia Tourism Board to start sending me royalty checks or just hire me outright as a travel consultant.

The video has a subtle reference from A Dead Bat In Paraguay for those of you who read the book. Here it is…

Thank you Medellin, for making these past six months so wonderful.

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  • Chris

    OMG…I dare you to post a link to that on the forum at PoorButHappy.com. The ensuing thread would be hilarious… that is before you were banned by those prepago chasing hypocrites, but still…

  • http://www.fluentin3months.com Benny the Irish polyglot

    lol, great video! Hilarious commentary :D
    I’m living in Rio until mid-December. Hit me an email if you make it here before then!

    Benny the Irish polyglot’s last blog post: Best free online dictionaries for translators and linguists.

  • Lief

    That is classic. Absolutely hilarious. Roosh you gotta write a satire script!!!

  • Anonymous

    I couldn’t tell how much of this was tongue in cheek and how much wasnt. I’m pretty sure most of it is, but not all. Does roosh really pick up $15 prostitutes when he strikes out?

  • http://www.thegmanifesto.com The G Manifesto

    Funny stuff.

    Buying a ticket now.

    - MPM

    The G Manifesto’s last blog post: South Beach Saturday Night Limo Move.

  • Billy

    Funny… but where is the huge Medellin break down we were promised some time ago?

  • http://fbardamu.wordpress.com/ Ferdinand Bardamu

    Permanent diarrhea – “permarhea”.

    Classic!

    Ferdinand Bardamu’s last blog post: How to walk like a man.

  • Anonymous

    Loved that!

  • The Rookie

    hahahahaa much love. Bogota was very similar!

  • Roosh

    4: Correct everything in the video was tongue-in-cheek EXCEPT the prostitute part. I go to Prado Pan every day to rack up a fresh notch because I’m too lazy to rape. I’m in the 1000′s now.

    6: Working on a thorough Colombia guide. At first it was going to be a series of posts, but it’s become rather big. It’ll be a couple more months as I know I’m not going to get much work done in Brazil until i settle down.

  • Carl Sagan

    Hilarious.

  • Josh

    That was one of the funniest videos I have ever had the pleasure of watching. Your deadpan delivery of this shit is priceless.

  • http://alliemarien.wordpress.com/ alliemarien

    is that ass of a bigger woman just as satifying as the ass of a smaller frame?

    alliemarien’s last blog post: Stewed Apples.

  • Backdoor Man

    Let’s assume the video didn’t really reflect your experience. Because if it did, that’s too bad. I lived in Colombia (mostly Bogota) for four years. I had an awesome experience, I developed a deep attachment for the country, and I had tremendous succcess with the women. I’m still with one of them today, 14 years later. I challenge anyone to match the happiness of my marriage.

  • reader

    I think the idea of bringing comments back, but having the “criticism is fine” reminder is an excellent idea.

  • http://roissy.wordpress.com roissy

    that belch was oscar worthy! i jumped a little in my seat.

    roissy’s last blog post: What To Do When A Girl Starts Crying For No Reason.

  • spandrell

    very damn funny. And truthful. No comedy beats real life.

  • Billy

    @Roosh: Great, I can wait – I am more speaking from a view of intellectual curiosity:) I spent some time in Colombia, but Medellin seemed to be one of the tougher places to pull compared to the rest of South America… Yeah, I wouldn’t get to do much writing in Brazil neither….

  • Seeking Alpha

    Was the reference the rabies?

  • DCjourno

    Hey Roosh,

    Thanks for scoop on Medellin. You’ve said it’s possible to get by on about $1,000 a month there. How much would recommend per month for Rio? $2,000? More? I’m trying to plan a year’s worth of travel in South America with 6 months in Rio. Thanks much

  • http://medellinliving.com Dave

    You sentimental bastard!

    Dave’s last blog post: La Dany – Documentary of a Transvestite Street Performer.

  • Roosh

    19: Correct!

    20: The dollar has been doing poorly lately so up your estimates. I have zero idea your travel style so any estimate I give you would be wrong.

    Dave I knew youd like

  • JP Tanag

    So that’s everything medellin gave you? Poor bastard, I guess you won’t be going there in a while, will you? I’ll try to email your pic to local authorities and some friends I got the last time I was in town, they’ll probably give you a great welcome (Pablo Escobar Style) and show you all the good parts of the city.

    Some people in Medellin should organize like a group that beats up tourists like you! All my colombian friends say it’s now infested! and also say girls are really complaining about the way tourists sometimes treat them. It seems also that foreigners are being banned even from some public places. But oh well, just a thought…

    Good luck in Brazil I guess.

  • Lumiere

    They have hookers in Prado Pan? Damn I used to walk past that place every day! Never knew.

    As for the first building, I used to have lunch there all the time and never once suspected it was a crack den. I am so naive!

  • Eugenius

    Roosh, this is really funny. I am not sure if I love the monotone or if it irritates me……while funny…..your voice sounds really different like you just smoked up…….

  • http://www.medellintraveler.com Ambrose Santiago

    Funny video. I love Medellin, Colombia!

  • Jordan

    I’m still eagerly awaiting your Medellin, Colombia Breakdown. I’m going there in September and would love to hear your thoughts and stories.

  • Anonymous

    Go up to the Comunas bitch, go up and show that to the Militias, and see how funny it can get. Fucking gringo

  • Trvlr

    Your comments, voice, eating and burping on the video were not funny at all and it reflects who you are. You should make videos like this of your own country. I am sure Brazilians will really give it to you! I lived there for 12 years…. Good luck! You will needed, ignorant gringo!

  • paul smith

    You guys didnt go to Medellin. Medellin it is beutiful, I was so impress with people from there, are polite and happy. You just show the bad part of Medellin, I guess you were on drugs. I feel sorry for you. MEDELLIN IT IS THE MOST BEUTIFUL CITY IN SOUTH AMERICA.

  • Posis

    Just like an American…no sorry a North American…So full of themselves…wrong again…just like all ignorant North American gringos…

  • mike

    a bet you punk ur not a north american ur a poor educated drug abuser go to the hell motherfucker

  • Lee

    I have a serious warning about a Medellin apartment rental company. I found the site http://www.themedellinapartment.com and contacted the owner Albert Licht about it. We decided to rent it in June 2012, after exchanging several emails as it seemed to fit our needs with location and security. We arrived and immediately noticed that it had a combination lock on the door instead of the standard deadbolt that ALL of the other apartments in the building had. We were very concerned since any number of people could have the combination and therefor full access to our things and we told Sebastian Lopez (Albert’s partner) but he assured us that no one knew the code and everything would be fine. We didn’t feel comfortable about it and but since the building had 24 hour manned security and after the reassurance offered by Albert’s assistant we decided it would be ok. We felt uneasy about it…well, this was our first mistake…TRUST.

    We rented for 1 month and 2 weeks into the rental we noticed that our dog was acting odd when we returned to the apartment. He was scared and hiding as if something had happened. We made a mental note of it but nothing more, until a couple of days later when we needed to find something in the luggage and noticed that one of the locks on a bag had been broken! It has been fine when we moved it! We quickly searched the bag onto discover that a very valuable item has been stolen! We immediately informed building security and the owner Albert Licht about the robbery in his apartment.

    Neither building security or Albert seemed the least bit concerned, in fact, Albert didn’t contact us until a day later (after we left many phone calls and emails). When he did he was completely defensive and didn’t seem concerned about our loss or our well being. The robbery was clearly an inside job as the thief knew the security code and was welcome in the building (remember the 24 hour manned security). We immediately changed the lock to a deadbolt but we never felt safe again since we suspected that the building security were actually part of the theft. Albert offered no assistance even though this occurred inside his apartment. The lock he provided to secure the apartment door was sub-standard for the environment and clearly inadequate as evidenced by all the other apartments having multiple deadbolts! Although we have no way to prove it, we suspect that someone associated with the apartment rental company was directly involved.

    I strongly recommend that you avoid doing business with Albert Licht and his company. They left us high and dry and offered only defensive excuses and nothing else. We never even saw Albert once after that event. He refused to give us a refund for the rental even though we suffered a substantial lose due to his inadequate security. At times we even felt intimidated and threatened by him and associates instead of being assisted! Our vacation was ruined. I strongly recommend that you avoid Albert Licht and his company at all cost. Beware

  • Rick

    Can anyone tell me which bodytech gym location has the hottest chicks? I know they have 5 or so locations in Medellin but don’t want to waste my time in a gym with too many dudes/cock blockers. Also, how do Colombian feel about men who are “well groomed” if you know what I mean? Do they feel one way or another about a guy who is trimmed/waxed “down there?”

  • Anonymous

    you’re right about everything save for the water.
    America’s water is filled with toxic chemicals.
    otherwise, you’re right on point.

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  • Snuke

    dingleberry