I note ways my interactions with girls are different when I really get along with them. Sure I touch more, laugh more, and kiss quicker, but there’s something I caught myself doing when the chemistry was especially strong: making vague future plans.
For example I’d talk with a girl for a while, she’d tell me she likes sushi, and then I’d say, “Oh I know this great sushi place that has so and so. We should go there one day.”
Later we’re talking about clubs and how she loves house music. Then I’d say, “Have you been to so and so club? On Friday nights their music is incredible, maybe we should check it out.”
I didn’t do this as a “move”—it was just a natural way to share future fun experiences with someone who has similar interests. But then I got to thinking about how to explicitly use this as a move to shortcut the rapport process, and started doing it on purpose. The result is what you’d expect: it creates a feeling that we’ve known each other a lot longer than we really have.
In the course of conversation she’s going to hopefully mention an interest that you share. Then all you have to do is identify a place that has that interest and say, “We should go there.” Don’t set a date, don’t name specifics, just plant the seed in her brain and then change the subject.
If she mentions a love of flowers and you happen to love flowers as well for some reason, say, “Have you been to the Botanical Gardens—they have something like 500 species of flowers. We should go there.”
If she mentions an interest in rock music and you know a free festival coming up, tell her about it and say, “We should go there.”
If she mentions an interest in coffee, and you know an Italian espresso bar then mention it and say, “We should go there.”
As long as she keeps mentioning interests, keep mentioning places you should go to, though if you’re nervous about overdoing it keep a cap at three spots until you get experience and can better feel out the move.
Again, the point here is not to actually get a date (though that may very occur), but to strengthen the rapport and get her mind thinking about spending time with you in the future. You won’t be able to objectively measure the effectiveness of this move, but I’m sure after doing it you’ll feel the connection strengthen.Tweet Follow @rooshv
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Great advice! Too many guys would just get all excited about the shared interest but you always need to plan your next move. Often times I’d just talk to someone and feel the great conection but forget to even take the phone # or make plans. Always think of the next move, true player never rests!
Botanical garden = win. You don’t have to dress up for it and can let go of aggression while enjoying the various flower species.
This is also something that has come to me completely naturally when gaming. What’s really cool is that girls remember all the little details word for word. When you do suggest that you go to this place, she will be happy you remembered. This strategy has great short and long term benefits.
Culdcept’s last blog post: When they come crawling back.
Yes. I found myself doing that when the vibe is good – just like you say it comes off natural and you’re not actually seeding a date.
Gonna consciously think about it now. Thanks.
Krauser’s last blog post: Wimminz be deluded.
aka Future Time Pacing ;)
damn. should have used that this weekend.
The Rookie’s last blog post: Go Away.
I do this naturally as well, but I found it isn’t ALWAYS good to indulge this urge to make vague future plans.
Especially on the first or second date. This is because sometimes the girl isn’t quite there with you yet, even though your feeling familiar. And even if she is, some girls are well used to this early feeling and used to guys trying to lock them into future plans. It can come off as a bit needy in some situations. But it depends on the girl.
With girls that are more innocent / less experienced, its usually fine. With girls that have been around the block, I like to let the tension build a bit, in that we both feel good about the interaction but I don’t try to commit further by locking her in. Usually, playing it cooler with these girls, even though we get along really well, enhances their interest. Otherwise, they can feel like they won the game already and lose interest a bit.
Just wanted to leave a comment letting you know that I dig the tweets you put up. I don’t plan on signing up for twitter or whatever, but you’ve linked to a lot of good articles.
Good Advice. That is why its important to always have your ear to the street and know what is going on in the city you are residing in.
Ya, props for the tweets.
Also, I purchased your book DBIP last month. I thought it was an excellent read. Well worth the $20.
Keep on doing what you’re doing.
This comes pretty natural to me with girls I’m actually seeing and going on dates with. I guess here you’re saying to try using it earlier like during your first encounter with a chick?
Willy Wonka’s last blog post: More Bar Hopping.
Roosh couldn’t even score when he went to Vegas!
We’re talking Sin City where the booze flows freely & the chicks are extra skanky!
ROOSH CAN’T SCORE!
ROOSH IS A LOSER! A FAKE! A PHONY!
ROOSH HAS NEVER SCORED WITH A REAL FEMALE AND HE NEVER EVER WILL!
GOD DAMN YOU SUCK, ROOSH!
READY FOR RICK ROLL, BABY!
‘CAUSE THE TRUTH HURTS, DON’T IT ROOSH THE ETERNAL VIRGIN WHO HAS NEVER SCORED IN HIS ENTIRE SMELLY EXISTENCE!
I was doing this tactic for a while and stopped. I need to get back to using it, works wonders.
SupermanPUA’s last blog post: Don’t Blow It in the Ninth Inning.
I’m hesitant to do this too much in the first meeting because I feel like she might think I’m too interested if I’m already trying to make future plans.
I might make one future plan but I’ll always frame it properly.
“Maybe we’ll go to the bukkake festival next week if I’m free”
“We’ll go the battered old ladies exhibit on Sunday.”
Vincent Ignatius’s last blog post: Another post on flaky girls.
I think Style has a similar gambit, but as always, your explanation is crisp, clear, and accessible.
Rivelino’s last blog post: I’m a roaring success..
I’ve also noticed I do this naturally when I feel that (rare) connection with a cool girl I truly want to see again as opposed to a ho ho I’d like to bang once or thrice. BUT, the risk of coming across (her face!) as needy and/or emotionally over-reaching seems a bit high too. Best used once…tops…in any interaction IMHO.
Yup. Future Adventure Projection (aka “FAP” :D ), been around forever, Mystery originally put it out there and got it popular, VERY effective.
Not disparaging your discovery, the fact that you figured it out on your own is awesome, I’m just saying that yeah, many many other guys have tried it and proven its effectiveness, thereby proving that you’re right.
Addendum, for those unfamiliar, here are a couple good threads on it:
Hey Roosh readers. Remind me.
Does Roosh follow the same current American rules about not buying a girl you’re picking up drinks, or not many, as PUAs advise while in the states, in the case of Latin American girls?
I could see that going either way. On the one hand they’re less feminist and more traditional (though there is a global American culture influence). One the other it’s wired in to be more attracted to the guy who isn’t over eager and considers the girl lucky to be getting his attention, rather than something he should have to pay her for.
But the cultural factor could override. 50 years ago men bought women drinks in America, however alpha they were. Well unless the girl was way richer maybe.
But then again Roosh is cheap and living off episodic writing earnings that he’s trying to stretch out in time.
Varies by country?
Clue me in guys.
As a woman, I will tell you that I love it when guys do this. It indicates that they’re interested and can plan things in advance. Oddly enough, it only seems to happen with men I’m actually interested in seeing again, so maybe it’s a same-wavelength thing. I really can’t remember a time when a man made this suggestion and I was like, eh, no thanks.
roosh, you dont have a clue, seriously, anyone who has to think this much to get laid so infrequently should just stay home and wack off
Good tactic, but with great power comes great responsibility.
I was brought up not to lead men on.
When you ‘finish’ with a girl, are you leaving with good memories for both of you..or is it just you leaving a trail of broken hearts?