As much as I hate to admit it, my happiness is still tied to the responses I get from women. I have been unable to achieve a complete Buddhist-like state when it comes to game, and my states remain affected by them.
If I approach a cute new girl and get her number, say in a tough day-time approach, I am pleased and pat myself on the back, thinking of my little success for the next couple hours. If I then fuck her, I’m in positive spirits for at least a day. If a new girl I thought was a lock flakes on me at some point in the seduction I get annoyed and experience a bad or neutral mood for hours. If I don’t get the bang when I’ve done everything in my power to do so, I’m frustrated.
It’s happened where a girl didn’t reply to my phone call, and I scratch my hand wondering why, only for her to finally respond and my mood to immediately lift. I want to get away from this completely, of reacting emotionally to responses a woman gives me, but I know that’s asking myself to remove a part that makes me human. While I worry less about outcomes with specific women than the average man, there is obviously a part of me that cares, mostly for my own success and sense of accomplishment.
Garden-variety apathy is a common attribute of those men who rack up lots of bangs, but I want complete robot-like apathy when it comes to the initial stages of pick-up because I know that emotions such as the ones I experience only hinder my maximum potential. The time I’m feeling down will lead to missed opportunities because I won’t be “in the mood.” The times I’m feeling up does the same because of the “I just got laid—I don’t need to try” mindset, also called Golden Cock Syndrome.
There is a negative to robot-like apathy, because to not care is to lack desire. Unfortunately at zero desire you’ll be prevented from playing the game at all and attemping anything, as you can reason that women are not needed for your existence in the first place. This is a tough point to reconcile, and it’s entirely possible that my current mindset, of caring a little, is actually most optimal.