To Notch Or Not To Notch

Every now and then a man encounters a moment which helps him determine what he should do next. I had this moment in Moscow when on a first date with a Russian girl. We had already kissed at the end of our first meeting, so now it was time to lay the ground work for the bang. This girl wasn’t special or significantly above my average, but I wanted to get laid quickly because I was horny and leaving the city in a week.

She was a competent English speaker with a good amount of travel experience even though she was only 20 years old. She was a bit Westernized but still wore heels on the date, reinforcing the idea of how hard it is to shed your own culture even when rapidly absorbing another. While she was telling me about what she wanted to be after graduating from college, I was hit by the realization that she looked eerily similar to an Estonian girl I dated three years before. I met them both when they were nearly the same age. They both had round cheeks, blue eyes, and brown hair that went slightly past their shoulders. They even had the same English ability. The Estonian girl, however, had a sweeter personality and was more nurturing, making her the better overall choice.

I must tell you now that I dumped the Estonian girl. I could have kept our little relationship going, but I decided instead to travel to Lithuania to get my Baltic sweep of flags. Fast forward three years later in Moscow and I was expending labor and much more money to lay an inferior version of a girl I had let go. It didn’t make sense. There was no way I could rationalize this. I already have extensive travel and poon experience so I could not justify it as gaining experience. If I were to look upon this behavior objectively, I was essentially duplicating work in a factory assembly line, clocking in my hours every day with a new shift but an identical task. Even worse, I’ve repeatedly released decent girls into the wild only to pursue girls who weren’t better. After making this realization, I rapidly lost interest in the Russian girl because she was a physical reminder of my past decisions.

Over the past two years I have shared my thoughts on losing interest in the pursuit of notches, but this date stung more than others. Unless I’m looking at an easy one-night stand opportunity, it’s illogical for me based on my experience to go on a date with a girl for any other reason than to enter some type of relationship with her, something that I don’t necessarily want. Otherwise it’s a waste of time that provides me with nothing more than entertainment. Even a one-night stand has lost its luster since the quality will be modest at best and condom use will be usually required, decreasing the overall sexual pleasure. It’s clear to me now that I don’t want what I used to want (as much), but at the same time I don’t care for something deeper. I’m afraid I may have already extracted the most satisfying rewards women could provide me in life, and that this particular oil well in running dry.

Read Next: Marriage Doesn’t Make Sense

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