How To Have The Upper Hand During Your Approaches

Controlling your turf translates to power when it comes to approaching girls in bars. You want your first interaction with her to be in your “house,” not hers, because if she suspects she has the least bit of upper hand she will take advantage of that to feed her low self-esteem.

(Disclaimer: If you’re new to the game then you should be approaching girls in every type of situation imaginable to get experience, but when it comes to refinement you can choose approaches carefully to get the most amount of sex with the least amount of work.)

Before I approach a girl, I ask myself who has to move or turn away if the approach doesn’t go well. If the answer is me then most of the time I don’t do the approach. I wait until positions change and she is the one who has to walk away if the conversation doesn’t catch. If the girl knows she is the one who can stay put, like in situations where she is leaning against a wall or sitting down on a stool while I’m standing, she will be a bigger bitch than if it was her who had to do the walk. She, or more commonly her beastly friend, will abuse that positional power to make me feel weak. It’s human nature to take advantage of perceived strength, and female bar-goers are no exception.

What I do is stake out a spot and stick there. Like a commercial fisherman I wait for girls to come into my net. If a girl is sitting with her large group of ugly friends, I take note and wait until she has to go to the bar or use the bathroom, then pull her into my circle and spit game until things go well or she has to walk away. This is the same strategy I use in a coffee shop, where I wait for a girl at a faraway table to cross my path instead of awkwardly walking up to her. If it doesn’t go well I don’t have to do anything.

The way I see it is why should I have to do the walk of shame in the likely chance there is no connection? I’m already taking 100% of the risk by doing the approach, the least she can do is fuck off if she’s not feeling me.

Almost a month ago I started talking to a girl who stood a few feet away from me. I had to take only one-and-a-half steps to get within conversation range. I put the obligatory face time with the fat friend, who told me her mom was from Chile. Without thinking I said, “Yeah I’ve been to Chile. Man the people there are so fat.” I forgot that she was fat, but I was respectful and tried to recover by quickly changing the subject.

Surprisingly she gets upset anyway and says, “It was nice talking to you,” which is code for “Go away.”

I said, “I’m going to stand right here. What, I’m going to walk away because you told me too?” Sure, I was probably in the wrong due to my inconsiderate observation, but that doesn’t mean I have to obey her command.

She looks at me, realizes I’m not moving, and then storms off. Her friend stays and apologizes for her fat friend’s behavior.

You’re probably thinking if having to do the walk of shame really matters or not. Isn’t it just pride? No, because whoever has to do the walk of shame has less hand. That fat girl who I wasn’t even hitting on me tried to use her position to make me feel small, and in this case it backfired. If she was sitting down then I would definitely have to do the walk, and she would have gotten satisfaction from that and repeated it on guys such as yourself.

With turf in mind, even if I fuck up an approach pretty bad there are no repercussions. She walks away and it’s over. I can have a laugh and continue as I was with my buddies. That’s how it should be: the man shouldn’t have to move his body because a girl didn’t like him. Now of course I still up to girls and gotten numbers and gotten bangs, and that can work very well, but I prefer to have an edge before I open my mouth.

My entire game is becoming increasingly structured around the fact that a girl almost never has the upper hand when she’s talking to me.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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