What To Do If She Has A Boyfriend

Chasing a girl with a boyfriend used to be such an awesome challenge for me. I loved how I was penetrating something that I should not be able to. I pursued girls who had a boyfriend more than single ones, but I was young and immature then and don’t really do that anymore. I have morals now.

There are girls with boyfriends you should chase, and those that you should not, such as girls who just got engaged or married. I don’t even need to tell you this because chances are she won’t even talk to you. She is still on cloud nine with commitment bliss and wouldn’t consider cheating.

On the flip side are girls who are having trouble with their boyfriends. It’s possible you won’t need a strategy to deal with these girls because you may not even find out about the boyfriend until after you kissed, fingered, or banged her. With them all you need to do is stay aggressive and keep the sexual tension tight. The sex should happen unless something big changes in the relationship.

first-date.jpgThen you have the murky middle, where she is not quite unhappy with the relationship but not happy either. Girls are different so one who is slightly unhappy might not cheat but one who is slightly happy might. How do you know if she is worth pursuing or not? Two key signs:

1. Length of time until the boyfriend drop. The longer amount of time until she mentions the boyfriend the better it is for you. If a girl is in a happy relationship, the boyfriend will be constantly popping in her mind like in a game of Duck Hunt. She will feel guilty talking with a charming, teaseful guy and will have to drop at some point that her boyfriend is an amazing guy who rocks her world. But if takes 15, 30, even 60 minutes for this to come up, consider her breakable. Bonus if she doesn’t tell you at all and you learn through a third party.

2. Her level of engagement. It’s possible she can have a boyfriend but still want to talk to other guys in the bar to keep things “exciting” at home. Maybe she wants to feel alive or still attractive. How can you separate her from a girl who is more open to cheating? The answer is how much she engages you, by doing things like keeping the conversation going, touching you (very very big), and seeking you out after a break in the conversation, either verbally or through eye contact. If you talk to her for ten minutes and she doesn’t even ask you for your name and things feel like a one-sided interview, move on.

If it takes forever for the boyfriend drop to come and she’s still sticking around you, then do what you normally do and at the minimum try for the kiss. Two things happen if you get your face close to her to feel for the kiss: either she turns away at the very last second or she says, “I can’t… I have a boyfriend.” You respond: “Oh that’s fine with me.” AGREE, AGREE, AGREE. Do not allow her to come up with objections in her mind. Then you try again in a few minutes.

Her: “I can’t do anything.” You: “We’re not! I’m just hanging out.” Keep going, keep pushing. If she doesn’t walk away from you and get out of a situation where she might cheat, she wants to cheat. So you’re just doing what she wants you to do… subconsciously anyway.

There’s a myth going around that women are stronger than men, but I think they’re just as weak as us. If she puts herself in a position to break, she will.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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  • sa

    Hey Roosh,

    Namaste from India. Following your blog for months and have to tell I love it. India is just waiting for it’s own “game” revolution. That said, I really want your book but I emailed Lulu and they said they don’t ship to India. Any workarounds? I will be going abroad soon I can get it still but my friends all want a copy.

  • Anonymous

    girls with boyfriends or girls who are just coming out of relationships are easy to chase in a way. you don’t have to worry about her laying on the commitment guilt

  • http://themodernsavage.com Matt Savage

    I’ve been struggling with this lately, whether I should pursue girls in a relationship. It seems that girls who cheat on their boyfriends are not that happy about their current relationship and are looking for something better or something different. If this is the case, then I think pursuing the girl is ok, as the current relationship is already on the verge of falling apart. If a girl is in a great relationship then you probably wouldn’t have the option to pursue her anyways, as Roosh says, she’s already on cloud nine. So, basically it just works itself out, if that makes any sense…

    Matt Savage’s last blog post: Why You Should Light Your Thumb on Fire.

  • http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/david-deangelo Seduction Chronicles

    On the money, yet again.

    Seduction Chronicles’s last blog post: 10 Ways To Get Started With Game (Sinn Column).

  • ibegtodiffer

    So, Roosh, you’re not interested in a friendship? By that I mean a platonic relationship with a girl that is fun, genuine, witty and intelligent that happens to be taken? Seems to me that to dismiss the opportunity would be to sorely limit the variety of your friend-pool.

    I also think you’re selling yourself short because you’re assuming that the girl’s motivations, subconscious or not, are to cheat, when she may, in fact, find you, your conversations, your perspective stimulating ((gasp!)). I, personally, would be insulted if you assumed that I “subconsciously wanted to cheat” if I simply wanted to hang out and pick your brain and enjoy your company.

  • Roosh


    If i didn’t care for her then i wouldn’t pursue anything besides the same night.

    But.. if I thought she was cute and fun i’d pursue friendship as a way to get my octopus tentacles wrapped around her so i can create this emotional/intimate bond that lasts a lifetime.

    This post was written before saturday night. It excludes some recent.. experiences. :surprised:
    Also there is an box when you comment that allows a commenter to put in his or her email address……..

  • http://vksempireofdirt.com virgle kent

    I couldn’t be just friends with any girl that gives me a boner….. but that’s just me

    Do friends get to play just the tip, wait what?

  • http://roissy.wordpress.com roissy

    she says, “I can’t… I have a boyfriend.” You respond: “Oh that’s fine with me.” AGREE, AGREE, AGREE.

    for a while i was answering the BF objection with a line i got from some friends:

    “that’s OK, so does my girlfriend.”

    i’ve used this line at least 20 times and while it always makes the girl laugh i’ve found it doesn’t do anything to advance the pickup. i think your line would work much better. it’s simple, clear, and straighforward and gives you enough wiggle room to keep working her. agreeing and then doing what you were planning on doing anyhow screws with a girl’s logical side.

    roissy’s last blog post: The Perfect Woman.

  • ibegtodiffer

    vkent: Keeping it classy.

    Roosh: You’re insinuating your opinion would change based on said events from this weekend?

  • Roosh

    sa: Email me your city and I will get a shipping quote out to you.

    ibeg: There would be a lot of chaos if I let one experience change my opinion, so no, I’m not insinuating that. It’s implied that there will be an exception or two.

  • ???

    looks like something happened, and the blog got in the middle

  • shadi

    *sitting back and grinning at the comment exchanges*

    vk: those are exactly the comments i appreciate from you. thank you for being you. wait what?

    best roosh line: “i have morals now.”

  • web marketing question

    the following question is not meant as criticism but a genuine inquiry – how come the site for your book looks like every other online marketing cheesy scammy site? did you design it yourself – if so why did you choose that format? if you had it outsourced – why did you choose to do it that way?

  • http://thec-and-c.blogspot.com/ Jewcano

    Girls with boyfriends are good for one night stands, and little else; if they’re willing to put out they’ve already demonstrated they’re not worth the slightest commitment. I used to consider it the height of scumminess to continue hitting on girls after they lift the BF shield until I figured out they would be retreating from the field if they weren’t actively looking for action. I still find it seriously distasteful.

    Jewcano’s last blog post: Amnesty Means Amnesty….

  • Cob

    meant as constructive criticism, but I have to agree with the web marketing commenter.

    Personally I think it would be a LOT more effective if you were succinct in the sales pitch, and let your book and word of mouth do the talking for you.

  • JScore


    Just want to say I love your blog. Pretty much same situation as you (29 yo, just quit my job, and going to South America next week for some time).

    As far as the chasing girls w/boyfriends, I don’t really bother unless the girl is extremely open and makes herself available. So I will engage them, but I will not go out of my way.

    Keep up the good work.

  • vh

    …I was young and immature then and don’t really do that anymore. I have morals now.

    well, if that’s the case, lemme know when you write a book about it so i can throw out my artistotle

  • ibegtodiffer

    Jewcano: If she weren’t willing to cheat on her boyfriend for your one night stand, would you still be interested in being her friend?

    Or does everyone believe that you can’t make new friends of the opposite sex past graduation?

  • Anonymous

    This is disgusting. I’m so glad not all guys are like this.

  • Brandon

    This happened to me last night. Me and the girl started making out and we were watching a Shot at Love (I know, lame). I asked her if she had ever been in love. She told me that she had been in love. I asked how long ago it was since they had broken up. She gave me a weird look and didn’t say anything for a while. I put two and two together and said, “So you are still together?” She is from Ecudor, and that is where her boyfriend is. She went on about how she felt her boyfriend (of two years) has changed her and she felt like she needed a break, but she still really loved him. Half way through the night she said, “I should just enjoy tonight, because I don’t know if we can do this anymore.” She was very intimite with me the whole night. She was kissing me like we were dating, and touching me all over. By the end of the night, she was still stuck with the whole, “This is the last night we are going to do this,” but then insisted on getting my number and hanging out tonight. I have a feeling last night wasn’t going to be the last night. Any thoughts?

  • bittu

    i think there is only thing —- A girl never tell her bf that she is hanging out with other boy also, girls are mysterious. They are not gonna tell the truth about their past,about their present, keep experiments on them, keep reading their brain and thinking, but boys cant get their thinking. anyway girls are cheater hmm not all girls, but about 90% girls are cheater of this world.

  • LR

    @Brandon-Beware, Ecuadorian guys will cock-block and/or kill you if you touch their girls, like most Latin American guys do, especially if her Ecuadorian boyfriend finds out.

    @bittu-Your’re right, girls are very mysterious, especially in America and most cultures, because they are taught to be this way, to hold back information and not tell the truth and let a guy work very hard in figuring her out. And of course it’s true like you mentioned that girls cheat more than guys do because it is easier for girls and also because they have a lot of guys to choose from in this world where as guys have little to no options when it comes to girls. It’s like saying girls have everything on a silver platter while guys have little to nothing.

  • Anonymous

    you a cunt who fucks people who are in relationships. Die please.

  • Don72

    im trying to fuck a girl who has a bf, never mentioned she did to me personally but does, and told someone she may not have one since I came into the equation but that’s all changed now……shes too fucking scared to come hang out with me “alone” without bringing one of her gf’s

  • zaqan

    Instead of thinking about it that way, remember that there are 5 million other males or females out there and that you were probably not doing something right if they cheat. Shrug and move on.

  • Ben

    The biggest difference between a man and a woman: men have a moral code they follow. Women don’t. They act based on what pleases them disregarding the consequences to others.
    When you go after a woman who wants to cheat:
    1. You become a cog in said woman’s machine. You downgrade yourself to even lower level than she is.
    2. You hurt another man who has done nothing to you for pussy. Remember your metaphor about fighting Roosh? Now you are fighting an honorable good old fashioned boxer with a hidden knife. There’s no honor in that. Nothing manly. It reeks of cowardice.

    Bottom line, you jump another man for pussy, and you earn the right not to call yourself a man with a code. And probably get your ass decently kicked