Why Is Working For A Corporation So Awful?

Except for start-ups in Silicon Valley that let you use scooters indoors, it has come to be common wisdom that corporations are horrible places to work. It shouldn’t be like this. A regular salary with benefits in an environment that puts you in constant touch with other humans shouldn’t cause misery, but in reality corporate work is one of the most soul-destroying activities you can do. Why?

1. It makes you helpless. The knowledge that you can be laid off, transferred, or snubbed at any time makes you feel like you have no say in your destiny. You’re at the mercy of the invisible bureaucracy, of layers of people who have control over your livelihood and the final say on your future.

2. It makes you fake. When a stripper goes to work, and has to give lap dances to fat men for money, she puts on a smile and pretends that she’s enjoying it. You do the same when you have to work in a corporation. You put on a fake smile and adopt a shielding personality to deal with people you would never choose to deal with in your spare time. This levies a significant blow to your self-identity.

3. You have to deal with Human Resources. Promiscuous women who graduated with a bogus degree now got you by the balls. Assuming you get through their dating interview process, you still have to comply with their rules and regulations, and you must be cheerful when they pimp slap you for stepping out of line or suffer one of their 90-day probations where you have to supplicate to their whims. You have to be alpha with your work but beta and subservient to the HR gals and all your other insufferable coworkers. Otherwise you’ll be written up and punished like you were in elementary school.

4. It makes you do things you hate. Your day-to-day tasks involve doing what makes the corporation money, not what you want to do with your life. The odds that a corporate position perfectly matches your passions are just about zero. Enjoy all the meetings, the Kaizen training, the diversity seminar, and the writing of TPS reports.

5. You receive low pay. You’ll never make as much as you bring in. Once Uncle Sam takes his cut, and you account for commuting,  you’ll always be selling yourself short. When your yearly review comes, you have to beg like a dog for a 4% raise that barely keeps up with inflation by telling your master all the wonderful things you did in the past year that made the company money. It’s humiliating.

The answer to this sad existence is to start your own business. It’s a tough challenge that will take time until you start bringing in income, but you’ll work on your own terms, control your destiny, be able to choose your customers, and not have to work with ditzy women who have power over you. Most importantly, you’ll be able to follow your passion. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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