15 Ways To Knock Some Sense Into Her

Here’s an email I received recently:

I hope you’re doing well back in DC. I’ve enjoyed reading your writing, books, blog. Overall you speak well to the frustrations of contemporary American masculinity’s condition. However, there’s nothing—absolutely nothing—I enjoy more than your rants about American women. I went to an international themed rooftop happy hour last night, and though I was able to comfortably pull the hottest girl there to another bar afterwards, my overall takeaway was utter disappointment at the wasteland of the scene: washed out cougars starving for attention, fat chicks, and 3s acting like they’re 6s because they know politics and work for a think tank. Disgusting!

I guess the only upside is that most of the guys don’t have any game to speak of, and work with the sole purpose of appeasing value-inflated cows. So though I have minimal game, it does help. Even my friend who invited me to this event seemed to just accept it as reality, but as I’m sure you know it’s impossible to talk about these things with most people. Anyways, that was on my mind today, and then I saw this article in my google reader: 15 Ways To Charm Her. I couldn’t read it all the way through for fear that it might taint my burgeoning alpha identity, but I wanted to send it over your way, in hopes that it might spark a burst blood vessel in your brain.

Allow me to offer a reasonable rebuttal for each item…

1. Stand up for a lady. Actually, this doesn’t just involve chairs.

Be worth standing up for by not being overweight or sloppy. Visit the dermatologist to clear up your acne. Go to charm school if you don’t know how to act like a lady (if you were born in the United States then odds are you don’t).

2. Know that the SEC has the best football TEAMS IN THE NATION. Big 12 fan? Hmm, perhaps you should keep walking.

Develop a skill or talent of your own instead of obsessing over athletes (or celebrities) who don’t care about you, or know that you even exist.

3. Kill bugs. Delta Burke as Southern belle Suzanne Sugarbaker on Designing Women said, “. . .Ya know, when men use Women’s Liberation as an excuse not to kill bugs for you. Oh, I just hate that! I don’t care what anybody says, I think the man should have to kill the bug!”

Put on a pair of latex gloves and kill grease stains along with mold rings in the toilet bowl.

4. Hold doors open. This goes for elevator doors too.

Wear something that highlights your toned backside so I’ll look forward to holding the door open for you.

5. Fix things or build stuff. I once watched in awe as my stepfather built a front porch on the house he shares with my mother. He knew just what to do, cutting every notch, hammering every nail. The project was complete by sunset.

Fix up yourself so you don’t look like a hag when you go out.

6. Wear boots occaisionally [sic]. Not the fancy, l-paid-$l,000-for-these kind. We’re talking about slightly mud-crusted, I-could-have-just-come-in-from-the-field boots.

Wear only high heels after the sun goes down.

7. Take off your hat inside.

Grow out your hair.

8. Grill stuff.

Cook things besides chicken nuggets and Hot Pockets.

9. Call us. If you want to ask us out, don’t text and don’t e-mail. Pick up the phone and use your voice.

Why? You’ll spread your legs regardless.

10. Stand when we come back to the dinner table. ”Just a little half-stand is enough to make me melt,” my friend Stephanie says.

Suck my dick without me having to tell you.

11. Pull out chairs. Wait, that’s not all. Scoot them back in before we hit the floor.

And then swallow my load and tell me how much you loved the bleach-like taste. Please your man with enthusiasm and he may want to return the favor.

12. Pay the tab on the first few dates. ”If you ask me out, you pay,” Stephanie says. “If I ask you out, you should still pay.” Listen, guys, it’s just simpler this way.

Put out on the first date.

13. Don’t show up in a wrinkled, untucked shirt. Care about your appearance but not too much. Don’t smell better than we do. Don’t use mousse or gel. You shouldn’t look like you spend more time in front of the mirror than we do.

Don’t show up in Target flip flops. Smell good. Fix your hair up. You should look like you spent more than five minutes in front of the mirror. You should look like you own a mirror.

14. Never get in bar fights. Patrick Swayze might look cool in Road House, but in reality, bar fights are stupid and embarrassing. You don’t look tough. You look like an idiot.

Don’t sleep with tough guys who like getting into bar fights?

15. Know how to mix our favorite cocktail JUST THE WAY WE LIKE IT. Fix your favorite too. Sit down on the porch (it’s okay if you didn’t build it), tell us how your day went, and we’ll tell you about ours.

We truly don’t care how your day went. You should feel lucky that we even acknowledged it with a nod or eyebrow raise. Enjoy our cocktail then let me ravage you in the bedroom. When we go out, act the courtesan and don’t let on that you’re a dirty girl I love to make gag.

Whether this list is humorous or not, nowhere within the post or comments does a woman chime in to share what she would exchange in order to have a man who follows each item (every other comment is “Love this!” or “OMG so true!”). Like the German terrorists in the original Die Hard, today’s woman doesn’t want to make any concessions. She will not change if you honor her demands. She wants to continue bursting with masculine attitude from her fatty pores, not possessing any redeeming skill besides paper pushing in the meanwhile, and yet still land the handsomest prince of them all. Unfortunately, they do not realize that by being poor catches themselves, they encourage men to let themselves go, too, quickening the pace at which the entire American species will be unfuckable in less than one-hundred years. In the end, women are planning to blow the roof whether the FBI helicopters arrive or not. Assholes.

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outlaw josey wales
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outlaw josey wales
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Disgusting. The entire frame is how men should appease women, it doesn’t even fake an attempt to make things even. But, the entire premise of most of these absurd rules is based on the disproportionate value many men put on pussy. That’s the benefit of game: it makes pussy fungible.

Gabe
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Gabe
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You forgot the best rebuttal to all of this: If you want us to do any of these things, then stop sleeping with guys who treat you like shit.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Alright, it’s officially time for you to stop picking up women. because you pretty much seem to detest most of them. The actual article is irrelevant. You’re too angry and bitter to be picking up right now; it’s only going to mess you up further.

The Rookie
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“we’re gonna need some new FBI guys”

i enjoy reading those articles, and do the exact opposite. as long as guys keep looking to those articles, there won’t be any real competition.

The Rookie’s last blog post: The Niece.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I can only wonder at why more men aren’t disgusted by stupid ass lists like this. Are men just dumb?

I would be fine with treating women like ladies if only they acted like ladies. If I meet one someday that is deserving, she’ll get the special treatment, but unfortunately, about 98% of the bangable ones don’t measure up to ‘lady’ status.

Back in the day, (before my time, I guess), women took pride in how they looked, or at least did their best, stood by their man, supported him and knew their place. Men had to pay for dates because women didn’t make money, so if you didn’t pay, you didn’t go out. There was balance. You paid for dates, but it was the men that made all the money, too. Now women often make more than men do and they STILL expect the guys to pay for everything, shower them with gifts, help with housework, carry their shit, do all the ‘man’s’ work around the home, AND let sex be at the woman’s whim. Back in the day, you got sex when you were horny. It was part of a woman’s duty to keep you happy. Now, they only give a shit about their own happiness and expect YOU to only give a shit about their happiness as well.

I’m sure there are some good women out there – whether that be one that behaves like a traditional lady and expects to be treated like one or a woman who is modern but also doesn’t expect you to break your back for her either and carries her own weight. There are a few out there somewhere, but where?

And for those of you who think Japan is the land of demure women who only are about their man’s happiness, you’re in for a nasty surprise when you get here. There are undoubtedly more here than in the states, but they aren’t the hot ones. If you want that kind of girl, you’ll be settling for a 4. The good news is that a 4 here is about a 6 or 7 in the U.S. (Still pretty ugly though.)

Omega Man
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Omega Man
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The most obvious answer to finding women who aren’t influenced by this junk is to go outside of the country- although some foreign women are into this kind of thing as well. To the extent you can find American women who aren’t under this influence, that is another option. Who and where are these women? Traditionalists in urban areas? Women in the country or exurbs?

Omega Man’s last blog post: The Things You Learn.

Lumiere
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Lumiere
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I was so hoping you could make it through this without mentioning flip flops

Sigh ..

West LA
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West LA
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Very entertaining and too damned accurate.
Just caught up with an old friend here, and he said women here never wonder if they bring enough to the party; they just assume having a pussy is more than enough, making no real effort to be good company, focusing only on expecting the moon & the stars from any man she might date.
So I see the West LA area is still defending the title of Entitlement Capital of USA.

As the Rolling Stones song ‘Some Girls’ says,
“American girls want everything in the world you could possibly IMAGINE!!!” ha ha, so true.

Roosh, your funny references to the terrorists in Die Hard remind me of an observation of the Terminator (in the 1st movie)
“You cannot bargain with it. It feels no remorse.” Hmm, what does that sound like?

Good stuff Roosh. Thanks for the entertainment.

Carl Sagan
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Carl Sagan
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Like the German terrorists in the original Die Hard, today’s woman doesn’t want to make any concessions.

lol, you’re a funny fucker, Roosh.

btw, 75% of Americans will be obese or overweight by 2020!

http://www.caivn.org/article/2010/09/29/75-america-will-be-overweight-or-obese-2020-oecd-warns

Night Prowler
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Night Prowler
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Please keep these posts up as much as possible. Great read.

“If I ask you out, you should still pay.” How about you wash your dirty ass and wax the hairs surrounding your anus without us having to tell you how bad it looks.

Firepower
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Firepower
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fungible pussy just doesn’t smell ‘right’ to me

raliv
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raliv
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The Roosh is killing it this week.

raliv’s last blog post: The Football Team is Killing Us.

Ice Cream Headache
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Hi The Roosh and company,

Hey, another “What Women Want” article written by some hack blogger who claims to speak for all womankind, who really just ripped off the same old crap every two-bit romantic advice-giver says. If you’re going to call this blogger out for anything, it should be because she’s a contrived hack.

Ice Cream Headache’s last blog post: 5 Hilariously Stupid Comments from Would-Be “Men of Game”.

Klasik
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Klasik
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Congratulations on the Tyler Cohen shoutout! Though I must say, it was a rather weak article:

http://www.marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2010/10/what-is-the-incidence-of-game.html

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Awesome post as always Roosh.

What’s sadder? That the modern woman’s value has plummeted to an all-time low or that she still seems to believe that its at an all time high?

Matt T
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What’s saddest is that over 2/3 of women will be overweight in 10 years.

I’m moving to Shanghai, where the girls are cute and skinny. And as a bonus they’ve never heard “Who Lies More”. It’s gonna be awesome.

tomtud
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5 well said!!! I’ve had discussions with women about this,,, since women make more or the same, why should men have to pay for the first few dates? they all go into the spiel,, its traditional, I would like a man to pay for things,, etc etc etc… I’m reading into this as they want some pussy to pay for it all, not spend their money and cherry pick,, i said it,, yes,, cherry pick what they can take from tradition to a more modern role…

I stick with coffee minimally if I go on a date,,, if she wants something more,, I say lets do brunch or breakfast,, (no alcohol,, and it will cost you maximum $20) lol…. of course,, its a cardinal sin to buy her dinner etc b4 you do the deed.

Whenever I go on a first date, I always tell the girl,, lets start off as friends,, you pay your bill I pay mine and take it slow… works like a charm!

These lists on google etc,,, remind me of an article on betas roosh had,, regarding adam sandler type movies…. i consider these lists fictional.

cinnamon
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I believe this list to be a bit idealistic ^^ Many of us do have fantasies of princelike men while in our teens, but I think in reality what we want is a masculine man, in charge of his own life, that shows respect for himself and for us. Someone we can respect because he respects himself first.

I believe a lot of this comes with the education you receive. If you, as a girl, have a good father figure, you learn that men wishing to make you happy, comes naturally along with your own wish to make them happy in exchange!

I can think of two alpha male who taught me a lot about this in some way (although I must say neither I nor these men are/were American). The first was my father, and the second is a Spanish man whom I had the honour to have as best friend (and pretty much my protector) the first time I lived abroad. They both treated me like a princess, but always made clear that they respected themselves and would not take any nonsense from me or from anyone else, man or woman. (Needless to say, they both insisted that I should watch my weight, keep my hair neat and my legs hair-free, and wear feminine clothes; but also that I shouldn’t just go for any moron that comes my way. Both parties should show respect and interest, and work to be the best they can be).

By the way, someone posted another list in the comments that you men will hate as much as this one ^^, I will paste it on a separate comment.

globalman
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globalman
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Josey,
“That’s the benefit of game: it makes pussy fungible.”
Billiant…never heard it put quite like that before but it’s dead on. Thanks.

Roosh, the whole response is a killer! Wish more women would read it….but they are not going to. Well? We just have to put it in front of more kids.

I was served in the company canteen today by this young 22 year old man. His boss is a ‘mate’. His boss says to him. Hey, take a break and listen to this man for 30 minutes. And he says to me ‘Tell him about women’. So I do. The kid was in shock 30 minutes later. One more young man saved from marriage. I had a GOOD DAY!!!

Rivelino
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Wolfie
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Wolfie
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The comments are filled with variations on this:
“I’m a very independent woman, and I know my mind, but I still think it’s very important that a man be a gentleman.”
Translation: I don’t want the burden of being traditional, but I want him to carry it all still.

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speakeasy
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speakeasy
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Economic liberation from a male dominated work force made it so that women no longer need men. Women pleasing men in today’s feminist society is now about as antiquated as Leave it to Beaver. We are viewed as their adversaries and oppressors, not people to be pleased. There’s no putting the genie back in the bottle. It will eventually be like this everywhere.

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Vincent Ignatius
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The self-entitlement complex of the modern American hag is disgusting. Someone needs to figure out VR sex soon, because I hate putting up with these creatures just to blow my load in them.

The average American woman has as much marriage potential as a 3rd world prostitute.

Vincent Ignatius’s last blog post: Pacing.

TAllagash
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the part about not acting like an obvious slut in public is important.

TAllagash’s last blog post: News Day.

Wolfie
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Wolfie
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I don’t know, speakeasy, women seem to have a lot of fun pleasing me. But then, that’s after we slip past the wall of “this is what I’m supposed to think” most people seem infected with.

Mark
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Mark
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“Suck my dick without me having to tell you.”

That made me lol… your overall point is so true though.

Mark’s last blog post: Definition of Flash Game.

Lika
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Sleepy Anarchist
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Just get a real doll that’s all you want a woman for anyway