30 Types Of Pussy

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1. Razor bump pussy. She’s still experimenting with the best Gillette model. The new razor with five blades caused a surprising amount of irritation.

2. Honda Civic pussy. The most common type of pussy. Reliable and basic with clean lines.

3. INTJ pussy. The clitoris is out just enough to make a pleasant introduction, but she’s not exactly dancing on the bar.

4. Cunnilingus pussy. Another common pussy type with strong clitoris action. Easy to go down on if you do that sort of thing (I don’t).

5. Vintage porn pussy. Humans have long since evolved, so you won’t find a young girl with this pussy anymore.

6. Lazy pussy. She’s putting in zero effort with her appearance yet still expects guys to approach her all night. You suspect she alternates between only two “going out” outfits.

7. Spinster pussy. This scraggly and worn pussy gave up and is ready for the body attached to it to die.

8. Dog ear in the wind pussy. The clitoris flaps around like it has a mind of its own, but trying to understand its movements will only confuse you.

9. Rain drop pussy. One more drop of pussy flesh and the surface tension will no longer be able to hold the entire apparatus to her body. I like the clitoris here more than the dog ear in the wind pussy because it’s easier to diddle.

10. Pedophile pussy. Perverted men put it all on the line to score this virginal pussy. It’s as pristine as a mountain spring—can you blame them?

11. Predator pussy. If you stare at this pussy for 40 seconds, an image of the Predator alien will pop out at you.

12. Big pussy. Easy entry/exit, but she won’t feel anything if you’re not well-equipped. She’ll be polite, though, and let out a few token moans at your ineffective thrusts.

13. Experienced pussy. This pussy tries to fake but those bumps don’t lie. They act like tree rings and are easily measurable by trained scientists.

14. Social anxiety pussy. Awkward body language and tonality. You need a lot of foreplay with this one.

15. Domestic violence pussy. The pussy got out of line so the man had to slap it around, leading to a swollen, tender appearance. (That reminds me—what do you say to a girl with a black eye? Answer: Bitch I already told you once!)

16. Diarrhea pussy. This pussy ate a bad meal from Taco Bell and is now shooting semi-digested pellets into the toilet bowl.

17. Toyota Camry pussy. Roomier version of the Honda Civic pussy and more reliable with lower maintenance costs. Bring along a couple of your friends. (Editor’s Note: This is my favorite pussy type. I don’t have time to figure out how pussy works—I just want to hop in and get to my destination as quickly as possible.)

18. Last minute pussy. God didn’t decide on the gender of this pussy until the last minute, hence the huge meaty bit that makes penetration extra challenging.

19. Chubby pussy. You look at this pussy and are not sure whether to recommend the cookie diet or P90X.

20. Shy pussy. More outgoing than social anxiety pussy, but her constant silence makes you wonder, “Does she like me? Is she playing games?”

21. Developmentally stunted pussy. If they caught the problem early then an endocrinologist could have prescribed a hormone treatment, but unfortunately it’s too late now and what you got is a pussy that is small and under-powered.

22. Used to be fat pussy. This pussy has lost so much weight that the remaining skin is flabby and loose like an overripe pear.

23. McMansion pussy. You love this pussy in the beginning, bragging to your friends about all the extra storage space it contains, but then once you see your electric bill you wish you bought something more economical.

24. Eagle pussy. Wings in the back offer more stability during flight. Graceful, earnest.

25. Interstate highway pussy. When they built this pussy it was like a dream to drive on the freshly paved asphalt, but overdevelopment of the surrounding areas has led to intolerable sprawl.

26. Anteater pussy. How your grandma’s pussy looks like. Loosening muscle and skin has forced the first couple inches of the vaginal canal to prolapse outside of the body. Grandpa ain’t complaining though… that sly devil.

27. Terminator pussy. One of Skynet’s first models. The clitoris has a formidable exoskeleton that will swallow up your dick if you don’t disable the chip first.

28. Turkey pussy. Wings, giblet, caruncle, wattle—you got it all here. Starter package comes with special handling instructions and food for the first month.

29. Department store pussy. It looked great when you tried it on in the fitting room, but at home it looks a little off. Maybe it’s one size too small?

30. Morbidly obese pussy. When this pussy gets sick you need to need to call the special ambulance with the human crane. All hands on deck!

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The Rookie
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The Rookie
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#12 looks like an oreo cookie

The Rookie’s last blog post: Helping Hand.

Gunslingergregi
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Gunslingergregi
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Nice post.

All pussy is not created equal.

kystien
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kystien
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What Is wrong with this guy he’s GAY GAY GAY I KNOW he has A small dick nothing there invisible tiny skanky

Gabriel
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Gabriel
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Golden. 11, 16, and 27 are right on the money with the descriptions. Next time I’m ravaging some punani I’ll have to make an assessment.

Culdcept
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Culdcept
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Wow. This is going to change everything when it’s time to go in. “Hang on, I have to consult my chart before we start” or “Which of these will I be expecting later?”

Heh.

Culdcept’s last blog post: Two Deviations Above Average.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Pussies are like finger prints: no 2 are exactly the same.

SN2
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SN2
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Holy Fuck!

Hahahahahaha!

kystien
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kystien
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Exactly holy fuck how small are men why do they smell? What’s a gspot I don’t know must be in her ass but I’m so cool

Dagonet
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Dagonet
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I really can’t think of one other place on the internet where you could find such a thorough and entertaining analysis of vaginas.

Dagonet’s last blog post: Vegas, Baby… (Notch #5: Vegas Ballerina).

Bernie
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Bernie
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This is why women shouldn’t shave all their hair off. I don’t care what any of you say, it is sexier when a woman has some hair down there – and not just a little landing strip.

Pussy Lover
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Pussy Lover
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I love landing strips

rockorbe
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rockorbe
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As long as it’s not Bermuda Triangle Bush, I’m good.

Tailgunner
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Tailgunner
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I concur bro, love me some bush…

The Rookie
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The Rookie
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i’m sorta disappointed that the glorious natural pelt guy from Roissy’s blog has no comment here.

The Rookie’s last blog post: Helping Hand.

Vincent Ignatius
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This is missing the lopsided pussy, when one lip is noticeably bigger than the other.

My favorite is 10. Screw old worn out pussies (not literally).

Vincent Ignatius’s last blog post: Violent Pornography.

Siobhan Raymond
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Siobhan Raymond
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If you’re talking about the inner lips… it’s like breasts. One is usually slightly bigger than the other. However, if you’re talking a very noticeable difference… then this is a little insensitive because it’s from giving you men your child during childbirth. After my huge 9 pound baby caused me to need stitches on only one side… they folded it in half to stitch it, causing one to now be smaller then the other. Don’t get it twisted though, I am still blessed with a beautiful and delicious vagina (so I’m told.)

jay
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jay
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I’d like to taste; )

Simon
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Simon
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgyg8vEHraE

Roosh you gotta watch this. This is the future for everyone. It’s coming to an entitlement princess near you! hahahaha.

75ff875f
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75ff875f
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Like you spend that much time looking at it. You’re too busy praying that the lube is natural, and not puss, another mans sperm (in which case you’re now gay), or blood clots. ps: Now we need a chart of the 160 types of things that occasionally come out of a vagina.

inSOMnia
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inSOMnia
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I wonder if this is worksafe or not.

Bronan the Barbarian
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That was absolutely hilarious. I bet every guy on here is mentally reviewing his bangs to see which girl fits in which category.

Bronan the Barbarian’s last blog post: Affliction: The New Wigger?.

kystien
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kystien
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Assuming a dick can fit in anything or find a pussy dick comes in 3 sizes small, tiny and I can still see my dead mom at time.but.not him

headphones
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headphones
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I’m with Bernie.

Negro
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Negro
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LMAO Roosh you are the n***** HAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

Wiscanada
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Wiscanada
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and so ends me ever reading roosh at work again.

Lugo
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Lugo
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I was thinking about that GNP guy, too!

And I also thought, man, if I saw one of those nasty things lying on the ground, I wouldn’t stop and pick it up…

Ford
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Ford
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You don’t go down on chicks (#4 pussy)? Really? What’s the rationale there?

ALF
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ALF
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Ford, studies are starting to show that going down on chicks is causing an increased rate of HPV related oral cancer in men, disproportionately. You may have to amend your foraging ways, sir.

GAY PRIDE!!!
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GAY PRIDE!!!
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I love to suck dick and have my dick fellated at the same time. Cock rules!!!!

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[…] – “30 Types of Pussy“, “The Rabid Wolf […]

racko
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racko
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you should do a “types of tits” list

DCHandgun Info
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Holy cow. That’s disturbing! But very educational.

DCHandgun Info’s last blog post: HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY, Mr. Nock!.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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i want village girls

rian
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rian
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I never notice that pussy got a lot of version, lmao

I just know that It offers a heaven for some minutes

bobby
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bobby
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i think 8 is awsome so far i slept with 8 5 6 13 23

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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#28 Will u suck that pussy??? That shit is nasty

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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A will fuck all those pussys. Im nasty not gay jajaja eze.btown.california

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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cute pussies…….

Adventure21c
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Adventure21c
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ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X 1000000!!!!!!!!!!

My personal favorite would have to be #20.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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A perfect example of a post by a dude who doesn’t know jack about twat. Roosh probably avoids licking pussy because no one would want him to.

Jack the Ripper
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Jack the Ripper
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You are the biggest tool in the feminazi toolbox. It’s downright pathetic how incapable you are of recognizing an obvious joke article. Of course, you resort to dissing the author in order to hide your deficiencies. You no doubt go around “licking pussy” like the feminazi dog you are. I pity you.

Lkman
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Lkman
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Pls What I need 2 knw is tht which1 is d best nd d sweetest.

Maruf
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Maruf
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I wish my wife will not have pussy like type 12

Dan
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Dan
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What a vile article. Seriously.

Jack the Ripper
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Jack the Ripper
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As the Joker once said, “Why so serious?”

Lighten up. Stop drinking that feminazi Kool-Aid. It’s utterly clear that you’re white knighting to impress the feminazis. And that makes you a tool.

Mark
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Mark
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I’d like to hear more about the ladies man not eating pussy…like driving a care and not speeding…

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[…] It took a few girlfriends, a serious desire for improvement, and A LOT of porn to reach new heights. Then, it took a number of new partners to learn how to adapt to new pussy, because they’re all a bit different. […]

Shelby
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Shelby
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ok… I’m sorry… but I’m bisexual you see and… most of these look diseased and nasty… and I love pussy don’t get me wrong… they just seem… strange… maybe I’ve only been seeing number 2 and 17 this whole time 😡

monique
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monique
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Wow… you’re busy and you’re that close minded……mmmkk.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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which do guys like more?

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I’ve always said this! So glad someone did this. Ok, I’m gonna attempt to chart each lay in order..

21,30,12.. nevermind, that’s gonna take forever lol

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Fuck that bisexual lesbian gay and what ever im STRAIGHT pussy pussy pussy bitch !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gujjar
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gujjar
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i want a sexy girl no of pakistan
03017489411 my cell no

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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whez d camel toe…??

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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You don´t go down on a woman but expect her to give you a blowjob? Fucking egoist.

Jack the Ripper
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Jack the Ripper
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Where does the author say anything about not wanting to pleasure a woman in such a way? Unlike you, some people have standards about what kind of vaginas they’ll tap. You, on the other hand, would probably settle for the stress ball with a tear in it that Roger used in American Dad.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Wow. You really can’t even tell the difference between a clitoris and a labia minora?

Jack the Ripper
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Jack the Ripper
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Wow. You really can’t even tell the difference between a joke article and a serious one?

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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i like pussy

Love
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Love
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Love you me

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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your a fucktard.

Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Which one do guys like the best least?

jamie
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jamie
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Umm, your pics are rank and this was the crappest thing I have ever read/seen.