A recent foray I’ve made into direct game has been adventurous but ultimately unsatisfying. It’s not so much because of a change in results (I can’t say it’s much different than my indirect game success rate), but because I don’t see how it can be declared a superior method.
Now before direct guys start frothing over their keyboards, I must state that I don’t intend to start an indirect vs direct war. Choosing a style of game is an individual decision that a smart student of the game will research on his own. I especially respect the work that the London day game guys are doing, but they seem to be getting a pass in having their strategies rigorously examined. Their system has flaws like any other so it’s worth having an open dialogue that helps men make the right decision on which style of game to invest time in. That said, I have determined that a primarily direct model is not for me. Here’s why:
1. Complimenting girls as an opener is pedestalization
First, it’s important to state what direct is. It’s not making a comment about her clothing. It’s not making a comment about her quirky bag. It’s not inquiring about her unique gait. Direct game is opening with a compliment about her. This means directly praising her beauty, style, hair, or what have you. A lot of guys think they are running direct game by asking where a girl got her cool shoes from, for example, but that’s clearly indirect.
If I open direct and eventually fail to get a number (maybe she has a boyfriend or is simply not interested in me), a common way for her to end the interaction is to say “Thank you for the compliment.” Some even will add, “You made my day.” That’s beautiful, isn’t it? You made a pretty girl feel great about herself. Wrong, it’s evidence of poor strategy. Her expression of thanks indicates that you have given her something she greatly values (validation) without receiving anything in return. In effect she is thanking you for putting her on the pedestal and valuing her pussy. Her “thank you” reminds me of two things:
(a) When I used to bartend, some customers would lavish me with praise on my service as I gave them the bill. You would expect that the ensuing tip would therefore be high, but the more thanks they gave, the lower the tip was. Why? Because they are attempting to compensate you on the bad tip they’re about to give with a “verbal tip” instead. They expect you to feel gracious in the verbal tip instead of actual money. However, I consider verbal tips not a fair compensation for my labor. If I gave you good service, show me the cash.
(b) In my early game days I would experiment with buying girls drinks in clubs. The girl would take my drink, talk to me for a few minutes, and then thank me for it before wandering off. I quickly learned to stop the behavior I was getting a “verbal tip” on.
Compliments have great value to women, but when you open with one, you’re giving away this resource for free without the expectation for anything in return. I suspect direct guys know this, because if you watch some of their in-field videos, you’ll notice some surprisingly indirect openers that absolutely do not compliment a women, yet they still label their approach “direct” because they have invested themselves into saying that their style of game is the best in the world.
2. Direct openers put girls on a temporary high
One problem you may have with indirect game is wasting a couple minutes of ramble before finding out that a girl simply won’t bite on your bait. You would logically think that direct game would solve this problem, because what girl with a boyfriend, for instance, would allow you to continue your approach after you compliment her beauty? Well, logic is wrong. Opening direct absolutely does little to screen out girls who aren’t available—it often does the opposite. Because you gave her a massive dose of validation, she stays put even if she is absolutely sure she does not want to have sex with you. Compliments make women very happy, so of course they will talk to you a bit longer in the hope you loft them even higher up on the pedestal. I’ve wasted much more time in direct interactions than indirect.
To the credit of some direct guys, they are aware that their approach puts girls on this high, and recommend you bring things back down manually, but I think they underestimate the power of a compliment to make even the most uninterested of girls temporarily seem interested. Indirect game does not give a girl this type of buzz that she may confuse as real attraction (a large cause of flaking). Trust me when I say that asking a girl for help on finding a coffee shop does not give her any excitement that would cause her to give her number out of emotional joy.
3. It takes a huge amount of state preparation
Have you noticed that direct gurus talk a lot about state and how important it is? The reason is that doing direct approaches require a massive amount of mental warm-up and upheaval. To run direct game, you have to psych yourself up or meditate for an extended period of time just to do a single approach. I’ve done a million approaches in my life, but my first direct approach of the day was mentally brutal, because it’s just not normal to run after girls and compliment their beauty, and it’s not similar to anything else I do in life.
Now consider an indirect approach, which for most guys takes maybe two minutes of “Okay let’s do this” before he can ask a girl a simple question, an act that they’ve already done a million times. The long wind-up it takes to do direct makes it more suitable for when you’re on vacation and want to spend at least a couple hours a day approaching. But if you want a casual system of doing just one or two approaches a day throughout your daily routine, indirect is far more sustainable.
4. Running after girls is pedestalization
To actually run after a girl you don’t know is putting her on a pedestal. It’s just not an elegant or low-key way to meet women. Now I will be the first to admit that you won’t always be able to approach indirect if a girl is out of position (maybe she already passed you or is on the other side of the street). This is where running does indeed come in handy, but when I approach after a run, I make sure not to compliment her. I will say something like, “I noticed you have a sad walk” or “I noticed you have a unique face,” almost negging her.
Running after a girl is a valid move to increase your target pool, but doing it and complimenting the girl provides an insane validation boost. You’re already pedestalizing her after running, so you should balance it out with a muted approach that doesn’t raise her further on the platform. Imagine if a cute girl ran after you and said, “Hey I just wanted to say that you are a handsome man.” That would personally make my month. Shit, I would probably write a post about it.
I know what direct guys are thinking: “You’re wrong, our approach is masculine. Going up to a girl and asking for a supermarket is weak. You’re hiding your intent.” I could argue that catching sight of a pretty girl, getting excited, and then running after her to say she’s pretty is more beta, while taking an aloof approach in order to feel out the situation before easing your claws into her is strategic and more sensible. If you’ve never done a direct approach before, it looks ballsy on Youtube, but after you’ve done it five times, you don’t feel any more masculine than before, and judging by the standard rejection rate that direct guys receive, they vastly overestimate the “masculine attraction” that their game style creates in women.
I hope that direct guys aren’t bashing indirect as a cynical marketing technique, because indirect is exactly what they use when it’s time to venue change the girl back to their apartment. Why does a hypermasculine direct guy suddenly shift to indirect when inviting a girl to his place “for a drink” instead of directly stating that he wants sex with her? It’s because he wouldn’t get laid. Indirect is the only system that you can maintain throughout, from open to close.
Now I’m not debating whether direct is effective or not (it is), but it has flaws that can be hard to reconcile. If you can run after girls to compliment them and still feel masculine, that’s great, but to me it does reek of heavy thirst. I’m not saying you’re thirsty when you use it, but based on my beliefs and world view, it makes me feel weak. Running around to compliment women is just not something that I’m down with, even though I have gotten it to work and I know for a fact that it can lead to bangs. I’ll do the run if I was unable to arrange a casual collision, but I will approach as indirect as reasonably possible and commence with dropping ramble and bait until a girl shows interest in me.
What’s most important is for men to discover the game they feel most congruent with using. Even if direct was providing me with better results, which it doesn’t, I wouldn’t enjoy doing it based on my nature, but it’s this very enjoyment that’s necessary for guys to stay in the game for—essentially—the rest of their lives. It’s your duty as a man to try different types of game and then weigh your comfort level with your results.
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