7 Signs You Should Approach A Girl

A big part of game that isn’t often discussed is picking the right targets. Any man can approach 20 girls a night, but such indiscriminate carpet bombing is likely to tire the man out before he finds a girl who wants to openly receive his game. I believe as much effort should go into picking the right target as knowing how to approach them, because better prospects mean you need a less tight game to get sex. Do you want to cold call people who would never be interested in your product or do you want to call those who filled out a web page requesting more information? Hopefully the latter.

There are seven things I look for on deciding which girl to approach when I have many options in front of me:

1. Is she making slow or fast movements? You want a girl to be planted and mostly still. Girls who are walking back and forth or acting hyper do not have the attention span to meaningfully get to know someone new.

2. Is she holding hands with her friend? If at any point I catch a girl holding hands with her friend as she wanders through the bar, I will not approach her, even later when she breaks the embrace. A girl holding hands shows that she’s in one-for-all-and-all-for-one mode, meaning she will not allow herself to be isolated. Approaching her while she’s holding hands is close to a guaranteed blow-out.

3. Does she loosen her stone face when you make incidental eye contact with her? If you make eye contact with a girl and she maintains a rigid expression without curling up her lips of lifting her cheeks, she will not be receptive if you approach. A girl who is receptive will soften her facial expression, not harden it. Even though that Polish girl stared at me for five seconds, her face remained hard without any visible changes, which is why I wasn’t surprised when she proceeded to be rude upon my approach. Unfortunately, many girls like to pretend they are interested just to harshly reject any guy who approaches them.

4. Does she seem more committed to drinking than dancing? While it’s okay for a girl to hop on the dance floor for a few songs, if she’s there for what seems like hours, that means she’s sober, and sober girls in bars or clubs are the least open to meeting someone new. Another sign she’s not open is if she orders drinks like water or soda early in the night. It’s possible to have a one-night stand with a sober girl, but a few drinks in her makes it easier, as you already know. Talking to girls who are overly focused on dancing means you’ll walk away from the interaction with no more than a number that’ll likely go nowhere. I look for girls who are drinking and making only short forays onto the dance floor, not camping out there all night long.

5. Does it appear that she doesn’t care for being with her friends? If that’s the case she will often break eye contact with them to look at the crowd. Single women who are interested in meeting men look around as much as you do. If it appears that she’s so enthralled in her social circle bubble that the dozens of people surrounding her are invisible, there is no point to approach.

6. Is she in a group of more than three people? I find that three is the magic number. If she’s in a group with only one or two other girls, your approach not only has a high chance of success but a low probability of getting cockblocked. In larger groups, the dynamic changes to where she tries to align herself with the group’s previously agreed-upon personality. She’s no longer herself, but a slimy leg of a big anti-social octopus. She will be colder (even though she may be single) and let her friends levy an immediate cockblock strike upon your person.

7. Is she getting chummy with the bartenders or bouncers? If she’s a regular who gives cheek kisses to all the staff, that means she thinks she has status in that particular venue, and we all know what having perceived status will due to her attitude. A girl who is a popular regular will think she’s a mini-celebrity and act accordingly when you approach her. (If a girl makes conversation with the bar manager or owner then that means she considers you, a mere bar patron, to be wholly unworthy of sex.) On the other hand, if she’s a regular you see often who doesn’t care about knowing the staff, she will be more receptive.

The ideal girl to approach in a bar will be with one other girl she’s not holding hands with. She’s actively drinking alcohol and not too crazy about dancing. The conversation with her friend has long pauses that she uses as an opportunity to look around, eventually making eye contact with you. She slightly curls up the ends of her lips when that happens. She doesn’t seem to know anyone else in the bar. If you approach this girl with even weak game, she’ll still give you a couple minutes of conversation.

Even though a large club on Saturday night may have 100 woman, less than 5% exhibit all signs on the above list, but you can maybe say the same for over 50% of the girls in the small neighborhood bar. A lot of guys think the absolute number of females in a venue correlates to their chance of getting laid, but it can be quite the opposite where larger venues with the most women are actually the hardest to succeed in.

I used to force myself to do 10 approach a nights, but now I rarely get to that number before something happens because I know how to “cold call” those girls who already want to meet men. I gamed hard for a long time, but now I can game smart. I just look for the signs.

Read Next: 7 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Game Right Now

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Steven Lurkel
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Steven Lurkel
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Nice breakdown. Thanks again, Roosh!

Naughty Nomad
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“a slimy leg of a big anti-social octopus”

That made me laugh. It’s a simple theory but of course it’s true. I personally like big venues, but you’re right there anything but ideal. That said, they often have the highest quality.

Wise words and solid post.

Anonymous
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3 is something I’m working on in particular. I’ve had girls hold eye contact, or give repeated glances only to blow me out on approach and I’m trying to calibrate through that.

I also think that there are some women attracted to me and will do eye contact who will blow me out anyway due to whatever baggage/boyfriend etc.

DoesNotMatter
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DoesNotMatter
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nice! No wonder night game tires the hell out of me. Target selection!

Mitch
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Mitch
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Roosh I’ve been reading your blog for a while, but this is real quality shit. Your get-out-there-and-try-it-tonight advice is always spot on.

Donlak
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Donlak
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Knowing you’re target, while approaching should be taught to noobs, it will convert a lot more men over to game as there success to work ratio will be much better.

it simply doesn’t do any good to waste time on girls that aren’t receptive to you. Game haters are around because they thought game would make you able to pick up any chick, like if Giselle was at the bar, they’d only need game to bang her.

jackal
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jackal
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Number 7 on the list is especially accurate in my own experience. If a girl is acting like she owns the place, forget it…

ALF
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ALF
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Just bought the paper back from Amazon sir.

samseau
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samseau
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Number 6 is by the most reliable indicator. 75% of my night bangs are from groups of two.

j r
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j r
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“She’s no longer herself, but a slimy leg of a big anti-social octopus. She will be colder (even though she may be single) and let her friends levy an immediate cockblock strike upon your person.”

This extends well beyond the bar. The more kickball teams and book clubs and knitting circles a girl belongs to, the less likely she is to spend any time getting to know a guy. I don’t know what it is, but the number of women that are incapable of both dating and having a social cirle at the same time is astounding.

HiedoCinco
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I wonder if its because she has substituted the need for affection, sex, etc., by getting that through the book club. I’ve found its also impossible to date women where “my kids are my world”. They get love from their kids, they don’t need romance.

Squared
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Squared
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Good post. As someone else noted, the practical, do-it-tonight advice is the best part of this site.

Sam Diego
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Sam Diego
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Wow, Roosh, you really know how to break it down to the simplest of terms. Let’s hear it for the scientist background smile

Mostly agreed. Here is my take on a some of the 7 Signs…

On #2: The we-do-everything-together combined with lots of drinking has led to 2 3-somes, although I have to admit I tangentally knew one of the hand-holders in one of the situations before things progressed in the way they did…

On #3: Yeah, a girl staring at you isn’t always a IOI. Sometimes it’s almost like a guy calling you out and looking to start some shit. Nothing like a positive, confident guy to stir up the bitterest of shit in some women.

On #4: 100% agreed.

On #5: This is a way to pry a tentacle off the octopus of #6, or at least wipe the slime off it. In any group of 3 or more girls, at least 2 really dislike eachother. Learn why she doesn’t care for being with her friend/friends and use that ammo to defuse the imminent cockblock attempt, as well as extract the target.

On #7: Ah, the self-appointed mini-celebrities of the local watering holes. Usually I find these types are of that vile overweight, dirty-flip-flop wearing species; no interest for me regardless. I’m not one to stroke or otherwise prop up those needlessly inflated egos; I’ll let our local dirtbags and/or fresh-off-deployment military types do that (until I find a way to have a sit-down with those guys and explain what they’re doing wrong).

Veni Vidi Vici
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Not here the “club queens” are usually attractive.

Constantine
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This is a pretty rookie question, but in a club, or even moreso in somewhere smaller like a bar, how do you handle moving from one girl/group of girls to the next, to get in however many approaches you’re going to do for the night?

Do you put a general time limit on how long you will spend talking to each girl, then move on to the next? Is your goal to get several numbers or do you only move on to the next girl if you think the interaction with the current one won’t lead to a SNL? Basically I’m wondering if you try to build attraction with several girls and get a number to set up a date at a later time, or if you go all in and only try to get something more immediate from the most receptive girl there.

And on this topic, especially at smaller venues, do you do anything to play down the fact that you’re approaching several girls or do you just not care if people/other girls notice?

Thanks Roosh, always love reading these.

Anon
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#2 – Girl dragging another girl by the hand through the bar is impossible. They have some immature or weird dominant-submissive, male-female relationship going on.

#4 – Sometimes, girls that don’t drink but go to a bar are there because they want to get laid.

#6 – Three is indeed the magic number. Two of them can occupy each other while you are with the third. Larger groups are a wild guess. Sometimes the girl may shut you down because she doesn’t want to be seen by the group as a slut. Other times, she may just be a fringe of the group and doesn’t care, and the large group won’t miss her when she’s with you.

The G Manifesto
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I agree with all.

This one: “7. Is she getting chummy with the bartenders or bouncers?” however, I have good success with.

The “super social”, high status girls are tailor-made for my Game.

Similar to how Marvis Frazier was tailor made for Mike Tyson.

I can “flow like water” on their perceived high status and counter with my own to get the KO.

I like the “big anti-social octopus” Roosh.

That is kind of your answer to Matt Taibbi’s “great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity”

– MPM

A girl
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A girl
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Re: #6, it’s kind of an unwritten girl rule to go out with two friends when you want to meet guys. that way if one of you does well no one is left behind…

Tony D
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Yeah man I totally get this. I used to carpet bomb bars when I was learning. But now I have to be careful who I approach because the set will stick and I may be stuck in that set. That’s mostly because I coach more than I game these days and the focus is on the student. But I’m really good at picking out chicks for the guys to approach.

My favourite girl is the one that isolates herself, has a big smile, off the dance floor, drink in hand, sexy clothes. She’s looking to get laid. There is usually a lineup of losers trying to get her too, so you have to deal with them. Men can smell ovulation from across the bar.

Tuthmosis
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Tuthmosis
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Dude, this is getting ridiculous. You need to start charging for this shit.

Big Snot
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Big Snot
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You need to block Douche Manifesto – he brings down the credibility of the site

Aaron Steele
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I agree that, at least in my experience, girls are easiest to SNL if they’re a member of a group of 3. Girls who go out in duos often express doubts about abandoning their friend, and I find it much easier to isolate my target when the other two friends can keep eachother busy. I agree with your thoughts on large groups of girls though.

speakeasy
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speakeasy
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This post was solid. I always knew some chics seemed approachable and some didn’t but wasn’t exactly sure why. This helped solidify some things.

Greg
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Greg
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Great stuff. I want to see this post go to the next level. This is going to sound really geeky, but aren’t there some other factors we can extrapolate out into useful patterns?

-Clothing? Does she dress like a slut? If so, is it because she’s a regular or simply is a cocktease or is she truly on the prowl?
Is she dressed very fashionably? Women that emphasize the class/elegance look are probably more into being appreciated from afar than approached.
-Make-up? A lot/Little/Type of look? Is she wearing so much that it’s caked up on her face? If so, that’s a sign of insecurity and she’s going to be harder to bang.
-Purse size? Is she carrying everything but the kitchen sink or does she have a hard fitting her cell phone? In my experience, smaller is better (purse that is…) Girls aiming to party (and bang) like there’s no tomorrow probably won’t bring a whole lot of stuff along for the ride. Regular club rats might be an exception if they’re constantly fixing their make-up/hair. In general, bigger purse = inexperienced/no plans to bang.
-Texting or lack thereof? If she’s constantly on the phone, what makes you think she’ll even give you the time of day let alone be capable of having a conversation?
-Colored contact lenses. Some guys might be into it, but in my experience, that’s a sign of immaturity and a no-go.
-Hair style. Can’t really think of any useful patterns here…Maybe, the “prettier” the hair the more difficult the bang.
-Jewelry. Again, I would say less = easier to bang. Also, simpler designs = easier to bang.
-Tats. Location, Location, Location, Size. I hate tats. all tats. I know some guys love it, but it’s distracting and looks slutty. But let’s face it, a butterfly over the butt crack can only be a good thing.
-Heel height. If she’s having a hard time walking, how will she ever feel relaxed enough to dance, let alone bang?

This is preliminary and totally open to refutation. Just the product of a quick brainstorm. Let me know what you think.

T&A Man
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Pretty good post, target selection is an area not widely explored in Game.

Firstly proof reading, “and we all know what having perceived status will due(sic) to her attitude”

‘do to her attitude’ I’m sure.

I would conclude numbers 5 & 6 are the most important because it actually transcends club Game. It is brilliant situation, regardless of it being an alcoholic or non-alcoholic venue.

15 years ago 3 girls meant 2 thin ones and a chubby in tow. Now it’s more likely to be 2 chubbies,

If the thin one is showing number 5, a simple approach like ‘you look bored’ can easily open her and lead to isolation.

If a cock block comes, something like ‘typically it’s hard to find women who can meet new people, aww well’ for me works as both an anti-cockblock and a qualifier.

You had a quote here recently Roosh about ‘are you afraid to meet new people? Don’t be a coward’ or something like that, to paraphrase. However it changed my frame has made me feel like a star in venues.

I have jumped to one of the most social people in venues I know.

Constantine, you ask “how do you handle moving from one girl/group of girls to the next, to get in however many approaches you’re going to do for the night?”

I would offer it’s the quality of your appoach.

I would avoid direct Game because it will be assumed you will be direct with all your targets, and perceived as desperate.

Indirect and very social means you’re making friends, and even if failed approaches don’t get you poon, they get you single serving friends and is a DHV

The Jester
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The Jester
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Really good post!

Gary
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Gary
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What if she’s on her blackberry / iphone texting away?

or if shes sitting with her friend, but both of them look bored and aren’t talking to each other?

HiedoCinco
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Seems like a prime target, man.

The G Manifesto
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Gary –

“What if she’s on her blackberry / iphone texting away?”

In America, it won’t give you too much of a clue either way, since every single girl is doing it at all times.

– MPM

Fred Tracy
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“In larger groups, the dynamic changes to where she tries to align herself with the group’s previously agreed-upon personality.”

This part was particularly interesting for me. It’s fascinating to see these social dynamics at play. It’s also a little saddening.

Dirt Man
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Dirt Man
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Good and practical advice Roosh, right on target.

“I gamed hard for a long time, but now I can game smart. I just look for the signs.”

All men should learn to be smart and understand female signals. Once you get the knack of it it’s so much easier to go about things. Girls really want men to pick up on these signals and go for it. They think they’re being very obvious, and to guys who know, they often are. Most guys don’t see it, primarily because they can’t believe that the woman would want to talk to them, or have some other perception skew.

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Phil Samson
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“…where she tries to align herself with the group’s previously agreed-upon personality.”

That one of the most insightful statements I’ve read on a game blog in years. Cliche and talked-about-to-death as it may be, women really are herd animals. Learning this PLUS understanding how to apply this knowledge and course correct has made game fun for me instead of the 20:1 rejection-to-bang ratio it once was.

Keep writing, Roosh. Your field feedback is more valuable to us office-dwellers who only have one or two nights out per week to work on game.

rizzo10
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This is very good information because often I have approached two girls who were deep in conversation, it never went well, they act as if they don’t want to be disturbed-:) I now wait to see if they pause and look around the bar little bit, makes a HUGE difference,.,,thanks Roosh!

Kurt
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I agree with (3) – that has happened to me before at the health club where I work out. There is one very attractive girl in particular who would stare into my eyes without any change in facial expression when she would see that I noticed her. One time I was doing lunges and she was walking in the area toward me and held my gaze for maybe 15 seconds. This occurred over a period of several months. However, when I tried to initiate a conversation after this, she was ice cold and seemed annoyed that I was even speaking with her. I don’t know why she stares – I guess she likes getting attention back?

Alessandro
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Alessandro
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This post was solid. I always knew some chics seemed approachable and some didn’t but wasn’t exactly sure why. This helped solidify some things.

seduzione
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seduzione
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One the best seduction weapon are eyes! Use it always to seduce a woman.

Prince
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Prince
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Now i know when to approach a girl…cos approaching a girl at the wrong time really sucks.

nofaplife.com
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nofaplife.com
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Thank you for the great tips. Your experience and wisdom are helping a lot of guys, including me.

Westsider
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Westsider
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INCISIVE !! These are things I always sensed intuitively, but could never put into words. thanks Roosh, for elucidating them so plainly.

kikaysikat
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kikaysikat
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For some guys, approaching women can be the scariest thing
to do. They feel a crippling fear whenever a thought of meeting a new woman
creeps into their mind. They become petrified, they sweat like coke, and
sometimes they feel that they’re about to shit in their pants.

Meting girls can be intimidating and scary as hell but if
you know exactly what to say, you can do it with no sweat; the question “How to meet women” will be a thing of the past.

After approaching literally thousands of girls, I begin to
see patterns –which is effective and which is a complete bo-ho move. Below are some common places in which you can
meet your future wife.

JWSoul .
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JWSoul .
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Or you earn a lot show high staus and are good looking. Bang you shag hundreds of women. Forget it guys in this day an age most women wont take anything but the best because they are WORTH IT…. Ive given up on love marriage and children.

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mika
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mika
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Daniel Ramos
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The moment i stopped caring whether i would be rejected or not, the moment i stopped caring what women that i approached thought of me, the moment that i realized i was of equal value to the women i was approaching (if not greater) was the moment i increased my successed with women exponentially.

The one thing i found to be perpetually true is that it doesnt matter if you’re a good looking guy, you are still likely to be rejected if your game isn’t spot on. We live in an era where there are many good looking guys and good looking women know they can land most if not all of them, ergo you specifically are not “special” to them because they can dismiss you and go with a guy who was far more effective in his game than you, even if said guy was not as attractive as you.

A successful approach with women, just as with exercise, is two parts mental and one part physical. If you think you will be rejected you probably will, if you don’t care if you get rejected, you will probably do far better than you did before.

Xtianslater
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the other day, i saw an amazing looking female, with a fat ass, walking up the street ahead of me. She stopped and drank some water, and as i walked past she smiled at me. I was in a rush for some reason, and didnt stop to talk to her, just waved quickly as I kept moving up the street. i’m absolutely killing myself for that lost opportunity now. It was the perfect situation. Alone, just me and her on an isolated street on a hot day, and she was visibly receptive to me, smiling and waiting there alone drinking her drink.. and I rapidly walked past her. Never again. Mind you i’m only very used to game. All of this material is actually very new to me I dont even know where to start to be honest…

Jay2358
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http://tinyurl.com/XXXOpenAllGirlsLegs the secret to unlock girls legs!!!!!

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1)This is opposite of what I know to be true. Women who move slow as a sloth tend to have the attention span of a 3 year old. Women who fuss around at a quick pace are workaholics.

3)If a woman is interested, she will approach you latter. Just smile, leave, & stare at her from the far end of the bar, occasionally, not like a creepy stalker, then smile, nod, & stop looking at her. If she is interested, she will come to you. If she breathes heavily from her nose while giving you a cold glare, you have zero chances with her.

Itz Amelia
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Itz Amelia
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half those things aint true

davidlaska
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davidlaska
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Looking for the signs is invigorating.

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