Last year I released a new edition of The Best Of Roosh: Volume 1, a compilation of 87 articles I published between 2006 and 2013, during the stretch of time I was most committed to a lifestyle of fornication. While re-editing these articles in 2019, I noticed eight blindspots, flaws, and rationalizations that allowed me to perform behaviors that were causing me great self-harm. Here they are…

1. I was frustrated and full of angst

I’m struck by how angry I was, not only at women but also at “beta males” for valuing women beyond the sexual. Where did this anger come from? Why was I was so mean during the time I was extracting the most from the world (in terms of sex and novelty)?

First, I was projecting anger outwardly as a way to relieve the guilt and meaningless of casual sex. I was participating in exceedingly shallow behavior that had no moral justification, so my attacks against others were a way to relieve my own condemnation. The more shallow my actions, the more I had to step up my attacks against those around me.

Second, I simply wasn’t receiving joy from my efforts, regardless of the quantity or quality of women I was sleeping with. My ego was being rewarded, and I was also earning money from the sex guides I was writing, which allowed me to continue funding my worldwide fornication efforts, but none of it was leading to contentment. It was not even leading to short-term contentment because I was adapting to casual sex as time went on. The first time you try coffee, you feel a noticeable energy boost, but if you drink coffee daily, you long ago stopped feeling the kick, and instead drink it to avoid a negative (fatigue). I was engaging in casual sex simply to avoid a negative, of feeling like a “loser” or experiencing pleasure withdrawal, instead of gaining a positive.

2. I wanted more than my fair share

When someone is born, God ensures that they receive as much food, shelter, and material comfort as necessary for their salvation, as long as they follow His rules. I didn’t know about His rules nor did I care to find out. Instead, I wanted to throw away the generous plate of food set before me at the dinner table for the plates of other men. I wanted their notch counts and caliber of women, their travel experiences, their fame, and their passive internet income, and then when I got all of that, I thought I would be able to see myself as a superior man, when in actuality my “gains” were losses. When I did make it in the material sense, I saw myself as some kind of lion, the king of the jungle, when I was just one of numerous hyena chewing on a leftover corpse.

I was also extractive. I wanted to remove value from the world at the same time I attacked others for being extractive themselves. I would try to use a woman’s body for sex and then whine like a baby if she used me for a $10 cocktail. I would erupt in anger if a woman dared to have a 30-minute conversation with me when she didn’t have any intention of giving sex. I now sit at the dinner table and bless the food that is intended for me. I do not look at what is on the plates of other men.

3. I made a false idol out of the vagina

The vagina was my god. I uprooted myself from my family, traveled around the world, and shaped my inner being to access as much of it as I could, all to feel its pleasure and validation. I am embarrassed to admit how many thousands of hours I wasted pursuing the female flesh, with barely any consideration of the human attached to it. One only needs to look at a listing of the books I unpublished to see how heavily I worshipped the vagina.

Ironically, I thought I was a master of the vagina. Through my game, I believed that I was a modern hypnotist, a keymaster of the flesh. Instead, I was its slave. I toiled ceaselessly for a few minutes of genital rubbing, and since that was hardly commensurate to the effort I was expending, I became a fornication guru to sweeten the deal. All that wasted time, lost forever.

I would receive a lot of comments during this time that said I was a “pussy beggar” or “desperate.” While many of these comments were uttered in ill will, there was some truth to them. I didn’t beg with my hand out, but I begged through my dedication of time and mental energy.

4. I thought fornication was “evolutionary”

No matter how immoral your behavior is, you still need to find a justification so you can look at the mirror and see yourself as a “good” person. Therefore, you must lie to yourself. I rationalized that my grotesque behavior was actually evolutionary because I intended to spread my seed far and wide and impregnate countless women. There was only one problem with that justification: I wasn’t impregnating any women.

There are men who have only slept with one woman, and have created a big family with her. I have slept with countless more, and have impregnated none. Even if the theory of evolution to create new species was the truth, which it is not, I still failed. Instead, I ejaculated into latex condoms and sterile women on birth control, and I remember at least two women who took the morning-after pill after having sex with me. Paradoxically, when you are fornicating with bad women, the last thing you wish for is impregnation, and I’ve lost count how many friends came to me in a panic that they may have done so.

Even if a man is impregnating multiple women, how will he raise all those children? It’s clear he won’t, and because those children do not have a father in the home, they will end up as criminals, sodomites, or drug addicts of the future. They will participate in the same kind of immoral behavior that their absent father did with the mother.

5. I thought fornication was the end-all-be-all of male existence

Whatever you lacked in boyhood or early adolescence will become your idol later in life. If you grew up poor, you go on to cherish money. If you were a late bloomer like me who received practically no sexual attention as a teenager, you go on to cherish sex. In my case, I thought there could be no higher achievement or experience than sex, and that it was an even greater good than love. Once I clearly felt the downsides from my pursuit of sex, and it took my entire adult life for that to happen, the spell was lifted and I came to see sex with a woman I didn’t care for as a step below masturbation because of the drama it inevitably caused.

It turns out that pursuing sex so vigorously was actually the source of my problems instead of the solution. My anger, frustration, malaise, and existential dread bloomed from my sexual activities. Those problems are now almost entirely gone. It tends to be the case that the behavior we think will solve our problems actually creates more problems.

6. I thought I was right

I was so sure of my conclusions. There was little doubt that fornication was the correct path, and anyone who disagreed with me was either jealous, sleeping with ugly girls, or deeply misguided. People who said that my behavior was immoral or sinful wished that they could sleep with European babes like me. The men who were stuck in their boring hometowns were not strong enough to uproot themselves, travel the world, and learn foreign languages like me.

How could I have been so certain of behaviors that I now see as wrong? Because I ignored the teachings of holy men before me, I ignored my conscience, and I believed the lies and deceptions that entered my mind.

The fact that I was so wrong, when I was certain I was right, has made it impossible to trust myself today. If the behavior I’m about to embark on does not glorify God, either directly or indirectly, or is not clearly His will, there’s a chance it’s part of Satan’s plan to corrupt me and those around me.

7. I thought that things in the physical world could make me happy

I believed that I could be a happier person from accumulating material. More sex, more money, more fame, and more status would elevate my base level of happiness, but that didn’t happen. Because my lifestyle was the disease, the opposite occurred. More bangs meant more feelings of meaninglessness. More money meant more anxiety from losing it, or anxiety from not using it in a way that increased my stature. More fame and status meant more fear of losing my level of popularity, attention, or worldly respect.

I can’t stress how every attempt to solve a life problem had the opposite intended effect, and from all that materialistic chasing, the only two things that have made life worth living in the present is the love of my family and my relationship with God. Anything else I’ve pursued was an empty distraction.

8. I listened to hip-hop music to help me get in the sex mood

In my older writing, I used a lot of slang that is more commonly used in urban America. I had listened to hip hop music and came to believe in the message that sex and money were the most logical goals for a man to pursue. In fact, to get me pumped up for a night of pursuing fornication, I would listen to hip hop songs such as this one:

The purpose of this song is to glorify sin, and I find it difficult to watch today because of the nonstop Satanic imagery. I eventually moved on to music with a more broody style from the likes of The Weeknd, which valued women, drugs, and fame above all else. I now see hip hop music as a means to convince men that having no self-control over their lust is somehow masculine.

Conclusion

Last year I was hesitant to put out a new edition of The Best Of Roosh: Volume 1 because of how vulgar it was, but I had gotten so used to ignoring my conscience that I proceeded. I should have listened to it, because six months later I ended up unpublishing the book anyway. I no longer recognize the man who wrote all those words. Nonetheless of what I’ve done in the past, it served a purpose to get me to the present, and for that I am grateful.

Read Next: Casual Sex Creates Guilt

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Dan
Dan
10 months ago

“I’m on that good kush and alcohol.

I got some down bitches I can call.”

I am amazed you liked this song lol.

Jay
Jay
10 months ago
Reply to  Dan

Lol I used to adore Lil Wayne and rappers in general until I started watching their interviews and documentaries about their lives and realized how stupid and childish they are. I mean, look at Wayne right now, guy looks like a shadow of his former self. I can’t respect a drug addict who can barely speak one coherent sentence. It’s funny that our society glorifies the most stupid people.

Anton
Anton
9 months ago
Reply to  Jay

Like Joe Biden??

kevin
kevin
10 months ago

The Buddha mentions that without morality, there is no concentration. In other words, one cannot fully meditate until they thoroughly feel a lack of remorse within themselves.

The reason why we suffer is due to our own inability to see this. We would rather go day after day, trying to pursue fleeting experiences, such as sex, not seeing the kinds of effects that this can have on our conscience.

But, I believe that a truly capable man, one who has no need for external things, one who has no need for external validation, is a man who relies on faith. I think that you are heading in the right direction Roosh, and I think that you will come to find great joy and contentment.

MARCOS E P DUTRA
MARCOS E P DUTRA
10 months ago
Reply to  kevin

One can only feel remorse if one believes in sin, which Buddhists don’t. Since man sins all the time, lack of remorse is only self righteous illusion.
The only thing that can overcome sin is forgiveness. Meditation, which is mental masturbation, will not do that. You need Jesus and his work of sacrifice at the cross.

Jason
Jason
10 months ago

That is the first time I heard that horrible rap song. It’s not even musical or talent-seeking. All flash and dirty cash.

Jay
Jay
10 months ago
Reply to  Jason

What kind of music do you listen to? Just curious.

awaken
awaken
10 months ago

I just finished your Life Speech it is simply great. I have all your books and find them useful and entertaining but i can also appreciate that there must be more meaning to life than just sex, drugs, and money. What i have found to be true is that everyone must search for a true life true happiness. We are not meant to work all day…eat…sleep…repeat. You must live open your eyes to what is around you appreciate it and soak it in for we are here a short time.

Wolf
Wolf
9 months ago
Reply to  awaken

Because of Roosh previous books, I too have become very good in pursuing women. Yet at the same time, after having those experiences, I came to realise that sex wasn’t everything.

Similarly, never let anyone tell you that money is not everything. Money is everything until you have gained tons of it or it really affects you, then trust on your instincts that money indeed isn’t everything.

One must always reach the peak for oneself to understand life based on his or her own experiences. Sometimes, a teacher is only there to guide us. We would still have to take that path in order for realisation to occur

Jay
Jay
10 months ago

One of the things that opened my eyes to the realities of casual sex is when I realized the same women I was boasting about sleeping with, were also sleeping with other men who had good game or money. It suddenly hit me that I wasn’t special and whatever ego gratification I was feeling was nothing but an illusion. The same girl laughing at my stupid jokes, moaning loudly in my bed, cuddling with me after sex and making me feel special; is gonna do the same thing with the next guy who can spit good game or spoil her with money. That realization humbled me.

pornodio
pornodio
10 months ago
Reply to  Jay

Yes, this hit me too and it honestly make you realize how narcissistic you are inside.
I also noticed it in other guys who are clueless about it and think they are the only attractive men but then when they see those same women giving attention to someone else in that room you can see them dying a little inside

Jay
Jay
10 months ago
Reply to  pornodio

Yes, most men also think attractive women are unique and more principled than average looking girls (I did). So, if she’s sleeping with you then you must be special. In my experience, women are just women. Their behaviour changes according to their environment. If your HB9 unicorn is exposed to an environment with drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, other hot women, loud music etc, she will sleep with whoever can put in enough effort that night. They don’t even need to be attractive or rich. She might even try an orgy for the first time out of sheer excitement. I have seen it happen! It’s one thing to read about this stuff but when you see it happening in real life, it changes you completely.

pornodio
pornodio
10 months ago
Reply to  Jay

Nah, this is butthurt talk, it honestly happens only if there is some guy who they really admire, are in love with, and trust completely, and who brings them to see this or that side of reality, otherwise they stick to their principles most of the time. Stop with this awalt redpill incel bullshit.

Jay
Jay
10 months ago

Roosh I don’t know if you experienced this but one other thing that made get really sick of casual sex is dealing with horrible personalities and shitty attitudes from women. Of all the women I have slept with; a majority were arrogant, annoying and really shallow. It reached a point where I would get PTSD when I thought of cold-approaching a girl. I got sick of it. I have had several instances where girls I had slept with would gaslight me for no reason and I remember thinking, ‘it ain’t worth it.’ With time, all that horrible attitude and personality takes an emotional toil on a person. It made me to start craving for a God fearing and submissive woman. I would rather be with one pleasant girl than persue casual sex with multiple terrible women.

Jay
Jay
10 months ago

Some of us wake up and realize that the only thing the world has to offer is pig fodder; we cannot find satisfaction; we lose hope of finding satisfaction with anything the world offers; WE HAVE HAD A LIFE-SHATTERING EXPERIENCE, and so we turn to God. Then, long before we have arrived in His presence, He meets us still immersed in our sins, still far into the world; and though we are totally undeserving of His favor, by grace He gives to us from His treasures of wisdom ,* long before we have reached home. We are all Prodigal Sons !

Jay
Jay
10 months ago

Lust is an illusion because we think we will be happy if we have this one more thing, this one more woman, this one more pleasure; yet after we get it, we quickly form a lust for more, or newer, or different.

Caleb Roy
Caleb Roy
10 months ago

Wow, one thing you can’t deny is the Satanic imagery in that song. I mean it’s right there. Blood in a bath. Fornication. Lil Wayne literally becomes the Devil. Snake/Serpent women. Wayne’s eyes rolling into the back of his head. It reminds me of this… If there is Evil in this world, it also means there is God. And if there is God, then there will be Judgment.

John
John
10 months ago
Reply to  Caleb Roy

The ENTIRE mainstream entertainment industry is FULL of satanic imagery:

https://vigilantcitizen.com/

Music. Hollywood. Art. All of them, no exceptions.

____
____
10 months ago

Good reflective article overall – only take issue w/ #8 “I listened to African-American music to help me get in the sex mood”…

When I think of Black American music I think of jazz, funk, r&b, gospel/spirituals…maybe super early rap all before the “music industry” got involved. The vast majority of the modern filth that Black(ish) folks are the face of is propped up and supported by a certain tribe that you know very well….look behind the curtain.

btw- never heard that “song” in my life….and mad that I wasted the few seconds skipping through it that I did. Ha, can sort of understand why ya’ll are always pissed off at black folks if your only exposure is limited to that excrement.

anon165
anon165
10 months ago

Point #3 (I made a false idol out of the vagina) is a good point. Letting lust lead your life, regardless of how “dominant” your sexual fantasies may be, is an act of submission. There are two principal forces inside our beings: the first is consciousness/will, which represents the masculine attributes of stability and lucid thought. The second is sexual energy, which represents the feminine attributes of chaos, restlessness, and creation. If sexual energy controls your life, you are effectively submitting your masculine will to lust.

Just as men must conquer women, each individual man must also conquer the feminine energy inside of himself. Lust unconquered is like a nagging wife that is constantly pestering you and pushing you down paths that you don’t really want to take. A woman is at her greatest when she is completely devoted to a man, likewise our sexual energy is most complementary when it is devoted to the welfare and well-being of our own consciousness and will.

The One
The One
10 months ago

The sin of pride is the root of all other sins.

All of what you described above, in my opinion, is pride, pride, pride.

“Damn you God, I’m not going to do what you tell me to do”. It’s like a child refusing to go to bed when mommy tells him too.

And oh man don’t we all fall into that pit.

TexMexBBQ
TexMexBBQ
10 months ago

Roosh your trials and tribulations read like Ecclesiastes Chapter 1 and especially the beginning of Chapter 2, which eventually leads up to this: “A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? 26 To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”

Other good scriptures include: Ecclesiastes 3 “22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?”….. and Ecclesiastes 9 “7 Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do. 8 Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. 9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. 10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.”

The problem is this mysterious process of pleasing God (vs man), and a desire to be as independent as possible and free from the control and manipulations of man (and woman) as much as possible. At any rate, the importance of pleasing God, enjoying one’s work and and eventually figuring out how to enjoy life with a wife seem to be some of the biggest points here.

Jay
Jay
10 months ago
Reply to  Roosh

Solomon is writing in grief because his life has become a failure; he turned away from God, to follow the gods of his foreign wives. God then told him his kingdom would be taken from his son, except for one tribe of Israel that would stay with Jerusalem, the kingdom of Judah; the other tribes would be split into the separate Kingdom of Israel . When the Lord asked the young King Solomon what was his wish, Solomon replied, “wisdom;” and so he received more wisdom than any other recorded man . However, in the end, all that wisdom failed. Why? Because he ignored the law of God, which law forbade him to worship idols, and which law ordered men not to collect silver, gold, and wives. Despite Solomon’s great wisdom, he did not walk with God; he did not follow the Voice of the Lord; he rested on the laurels of his father, David, who did walk with God and listen for and then obey His voice. And so in the end, after Solomon was the greatest king (in riches and honor) in the world in his time , he was a failure. He had a massive measure of one of the seven-fold spirits of God, wisdom; but he had major deficiencies in 1) the love of God, and 2) the reverential and obedient fear and awe of God.

M-Brazil
M-Brazil
10 months ago
Reply to  Roosh

Actually it’s both. We carry our crosses but also enjoy the blessings that God richly provides for us to enjoy (1 Tim 6:17). The point is to welcome and accept both situations, accepting God’s sovereignty upon our lives in good and bad times. Christians are not masochists, and self flagellation is a known danger that leads to self righteousness and pride. Remember that God is good, and his burden is light.

Vespasian
Vespasian
10 months ago
Reply to  Roosh

Roosh, by all respect, the New Testament does not supercede the Old Testament. Both are history and done; the moral lessons are, in their core, the same. If we look at it from that angle, both are the same. The New Testament decrypts and reveals the Old Testament. Before the Levite priesthood and Mosaic Law, there was the Highpriest of the Most High, Melchidezek, and even Abraham gave him a tithe of his own goods; Abraham had no Law, yet he knew what he needed to do. “An eye for an eye” is the same as “do unto others as you want them to do unto you”; “love your neighbor as yourself” is part of the Mosaic Law and Jesus is quoting it. We should be merry and enjoy what God has given unto us. As M-Brazil said before, we are not supposed to be masochists.

We have to carry our cross, our burdens, sins of our fathers, but that does not mean to burden others, especially yourself.

Steve kelly
Steve kelly
10 months ago
Reply to  Roosh

To the Jewish people, whom God first chose to hear his Word, ‘belong the sonship, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the worship and the promises; to them belong the patriarchs, and of their race, according to the flesh, is the Christ.’

David
David
10 months ago

“I’m struck by how angry I was, not only at women but also at “beta males” for valuing women beyond the sexual.”

Beta males still anger me, and so do promiscuous women. Every relationship in the city is transient and sterile, you witness people wasting their time, and trying to waste yours, it absolutely should anger you.

One has to remind oneself to love Christ above all else, that’s the good of living around sin – it strengthens the faith, and you get to see God tangibly.

Herpderp
10 months ago

Roosh, you focused on short term game and ignored relationship game in your player’s journey, so of course you were ripe for a St. Augustine like transformation.

Obviously there’s nothing to be gained from the opinions and advice that members of your audience who adopted similar ideals after a long marriage and annoying surprise divorce might have for you.

Starting over from scratch income wise after abandoning an 18 year long brand that you developed at great personal and financial cost will be hard but probably doable for someone with your work ethic. Attracting a peak fertility ‘trad’ girl in the USA will not be easy if your finances are in disarray, she will want to be assured of support with somethig other than faith, and your ‘reformed cad’ brand will make any truly ‘trad’ potential wife’s father (whose opinion matters to her, see, ‘trad’) nervous.

Logical next steps for you are to publicly enter a relationship with a prominent former feminist (probably a year or three younger, or maybe older than you if you’re less lucky), possibly even someone who has written about you before, and after a short time in private life, you two will start some kind of church.

Fifteen years down the road, when you’re feeling like a fraud running a congregation filled with gullible idiots, raising an ungrateful (and possibly disabled) kid, and living with a wife hitting menopause with the associated personality changes; you may dust off your old books and wonder ‘was I fucking high when I decided to walk away from all of this?’

spg
spg
9 months ago
Reply to  Roosh

Man, you are so awake now. I have been saying this forever. Game is manipulation and not godly courtship.

MCG00
MCG00
10 months ago

Roosh, it’s unique that you equate casual sex with sluts to drug addiction. It’s unique for you with your legacy that is, but many men have followed the same footsteps and have paid dearly for consorting with or worse committing to or even marrying sluts and whores. Many men sitting in jail cells are there because they did some whore’s bidding. They got used by a whore, be it their gf, wife or whatever the case. That’s why it’s so so important to exercise hard and strict patriarchy on a virgin spouse. If society ever had to be rebuilt from the ground up, it would commence at the cellular level, with the nuclei being the patriarchal tribal family clan. This the only structure that can emerge with buoyancy from the primordial sludge.

So there’s an AA, an NA and a gambler’s anonymous for the folks whose lives have crashed due to addiction. There seems to be no PHA or pussy hounds anonymous though. But then again that may be the monastery. There’s no fixing civilization with whores. And mongering after whores begets more whores. The rebuild starts with CLEAN BOOTY simple, and the will and grace to hold righteous dominion over the females of our great species.

On a side note Roosh, be fortunate you pursued microbiology and not pharmacology. Pharmacists you know are nothing more than glorified dope dealers with nice lab coats and name tags. Other than that, they’re no different than a street pusher or even the rest of the deep state supply chain that currently carpet bombs our nation with opiates. In fact an establishment pharmacist likely distributes more opiates in a day than a street dealer. They all do their share spreading sickness. And pharmacists think they have a pill for everything. They self medicate like they think it’s their obligatory privilege. They’re some of the biggest addicts. I once knew a pharma major who then became a surgeon. He fiended so bad for dope that he staged a burglary at his hospital pharmacy to get his fix of oxy. He ended up wïth an ankle bracelet and still allowed to work at the hosp on work release because he was a surgeon. Otherwise he’d be getting @ss raped in the state pen if he was a common civilian who got convicted for dope.

Me, I’ve never pumped and dumped a strange woman. My wifve though I’ll admit, I pump and then dump her every time I have something else to get busy doing like work or hobbies. And she’s there when I get back. I’m very possessive and if my d¡ck goes in a woman – SHE’S MINE – and thereinafter I wrack my brain and think “how can she now be shaped so as to better fit into and cojingually function in my clan?”. It’s all about the clan. Life is about the family clan. The patriarchal tribal family clan.

Kaze
Kaze
10 months ago

Roosh I know you’ve studied Buddhism, but what about Gnostism in Christianity or Meister Eckharts sermons?

ThriceGreat
ThriceGreat
10 months ago

Roosh, I’ve been following you since I was a Junior in highschool, which was during 2013-2014.

Everything you wrote, in regards to personal defects, is all too true for my reality as well. In my childhood and adolescence, I experienced the same tragedies as everyone else who was raised in a broken home. My dad loved being promiscuous with women, and out of his promiscuous activities, that’s how I was born. When I was 15, my dad told me the female I knew as a “mother”, was actually a person I wasn’t blood-related with. My dad had sex with a different woman inside of a different town. From my dad’s description, she was a drug abuser, a whore and suffered from delirium tandems/psychosis. It turns out that my biological mother didn’t want me, she actually wanted to abort me, since I was created out of wetlock. My father and biological mother agreed to place me up for adoption when I was born, and two older college professors were going to adopt me as soon as I was born.

At the last second, my father and step mother decided to keep me. I was surprised that this woman, who I had association with, wanted to adopt me, especially since I was created out of wetlock, from the woman my dad cheated on the side, out of my step-mother’s awareness. Unfortunately, my dad kept on engaging into hedonistic acts with my step-mother, which ultimately ended up with my parents divorcing about a half-decade ago.

I had a hard-time growing up as a kid, it always felt like my step-mother had resentment towards me, due to my dad’s actions. Unfortunately, my aunt told me that my step-mother only kept me so my father wouldn’t leave her, that didn’t work out too well for her, since he kept on doing the same garbage.

I was the kid who grew up as an observer of the outside world, I isolated myself from the world with video games, masturbation and pornography. My parents never encouraged me to learn life developing moralism and skills. I got bullied relentlessly as a kid, which caused me to have crushing low self-esteem and misanthropy towards life.

When I got older, I started engaging into more reckless activities, with the most damaging being recreational drug abuse. I lost my greatest paying job last year, due to experiencing psychosis from using a therapeutic of Desoxyn (Methamphetamine). A year later, it has been a difficult recovery of trying to get the wheel back onto the apple cart. I don’t have a reported record of drug use or a criminal record, nonetheless; it’s been difficult to find another well paying job that was equivalent to the one that I had before I lost it from drug use and health issues.

As the months churned on, I started becoming more interested in the faith I once had, which was Christianity. The only sense I had of faith was from Nondenominational Christianity. And to me, this aspect of faith was equivalent to 1%/2% milk, which was watered down from the crucial nutrients of whole milk.

I’ve started to incorporate more Eastern Orthodox Christianity into my life and I’m deeply interested in attending an Akathist at one of my local Eastern Orthodox church, but I’m struggling with that aspect because I believe in a very Unorthodox way of Christianity and incorporate a perennialism school of thought, with a heavy emphasis on Hermeticism. But when I observe the common principles of Hermeticism, Neoplatonism and Eastern Orthodox Christianity, they all preach in reverence to the heavenly father, who is the creation of all things. Do you have any recommendations with this difficulty I’m having?

Aside from this, I hold you with a great sense of respect and admiration for you Roosh. I’m glad you’ve learned from your past and found a significant aspect of faith in your life.

“A little philosophy inclineth man’s mind to atheism; but depth in philosophy bringeth men’s minds about to religion.”
― Manly P. Hall

Boulders
Boulders
9 months ago
Reply to  ThriceGreat

Manly p hall is an occultist

If you wish to walk with christ you will seek your knowledge and wisdom from the bible and not from fallen men.

Smile
Smile
10 months ago

Hej Roosh,
I recommend you make peace with your past self. You didn´t know any better and that´s OK. You wanted girls, money, fame and outcompete some dudes, i think that´s absolutly OK. You learned that life is not about such superficial hedonistic pleasures and you´re a deeper man now. Failure is the best way to learn. Sure it´s kind of stupid and not mature when someone thinks he has to have sex with 50 or more women to feel like a real man, but many men these days are this kind of stupid. Be grateful you learned and have seen some light now. Sure it feels great to be the player king and to be seen with some hot chick in your arm regulary, but it comes from a place of neediness. The neediness to be validated by other people. PUA is needy as fuck – it´s all about being seen and validated by women and mabye even more by other men. In the end nobody of real value and deepnees care about a mans PUA success, instead they see right through the bullshit and unmask the needy little boy in his unfitting superhero dress ! Good luck with the life lessons which will follow now. This comes from the german man you met at Hola Hola and had a pizza with a day later at Eatalia (including some other gentlemen from all over the world) on the weekend you proudly published Game in September 2018.

john
john
10 months ago

Not everyone has a full plate of food, you didnt either, at first. So you were right to be angry. If you had of stopped after you had your ‘full plate of food’ Theorectically you would have been happy? But you would still have to compete to get to that stage, which you did. Just took it to far.

KermitTheeFrog777
KermitTheeFrog777
10 months ago
Reply to  john

Agreed. I lived the church life 100% for 2 decades before coming to game out of desperation. I went too far on occasion but tried to use common sense. It had a cost but it was better than necking myself.

Hindsight is 20/20. The only true guilt should come from not listening to your gut / higher conscience, and from not taking risks. I feel Roosh is on the right path but is more extreme than most, and simply didnt listen to his better judgement as soon as he could have.

Lots of dudes out here who have been helped immeasurably from game, and were able to extract the positive lessons for themselves.

mariusz
mariusz
10 months ago

I agree with you that pursuing sex can’t be a worthy lifetime goal. However, remember that you also did good in your path: probably a great majority of girls you had sex with also had what they wanted, and were as well physically pleased. Sex is a pleasurable act to do and women like it too. Or are you going to advocate for celibacy?

I respect you exploring your spiritual side and reflecting on your mistakes. Just don’t go too hard on yourself, it is not completely fair.

InconvenientTruthHurts
InconvenientTruthHurts
10 months ago
Reply to  Roosh

Celibacy?? Man you’re brain is so f****ed… you are 40, you should already have found a nice woman and have small children, but you are not ready for it, maybe you never will.

AutomaticSlim
AutomaticSlim
10 months ago

This is all well and good for Roosh.
To each his own.
But I won’t be giving up hookers and booze just yet…

Jim Johnson
Jim Johnson
10 months ago

Jesus is right about women.

Vespasian
Vespasian
10 months ago

What is your counter-solution to gaming women? Since you regret your past deeds, you must have thought of an alternative way of having done things in your past. What would you advise a clueless man how to game women the proper way? Thing is, be it the world or churches, there are eternal truths in game. If one would abandon the principles of game altogether, he would never attract any women. Most women in the West respond to clown game; it is as good as impossible to practice halal game. Unless you find an ultra traditional/conservative enclave somewhere, there is no way courtship is going to work out.

KermitTheeFrog777
KermitTheeFrog777
10 months ago
Reply to  Vespasian

I love Roosh dearly and know he will realize this eventually, spending his time in church. Hopefully he finds balance soon. I believe we are right to return to the church, but reform it according to both good conscious and real knowledge of human nature. Young boys need playful, friendly game skills centered on self-assuredness and lack of neediness. After 2 decades being a leader of the church I felt I had to spend another decade outside of it to feel confident and secure in who I was. Sad but true.

Vespasian
Vespasian
10 months ago

Roosh reminds me of myself when God brought me back to the Faith two years ago. I also went overboard with it, but as time went on, I became more balanced. His writing style reveals that he tries too hard, is too hard on himself; such a change of heart won’t come that quickly. It will take time.

Yeah, church doesn’t prepare you for the outside world when you grow up in it. It is an isolating experience to a degree, living in a parallel society, and, even though you can see the other side, you can’t go over to their side, like a glass wall stands between you two. I visited many churches over the past two years and it is always the same. There is no strength, no backbone, no masculinity. Fear from the unknown is all they know.

ChristiansakatheRealchosenpeople
ChristiansakatheRealchosenpeople
10 months ago
Reply to  Vespasian

I don’t see him going overboard at all.Loving the Lord and being proud of it is never wrong in any way.He’s not unbalanced,he’s telling us his story.Its like the great song Why me Lord by Kris Kristofferson,anytime youre sharing your love of the Lord and the Master Jesus its a beautiful thing and touches you and those you tell.I know I’m extremely moved each and every time Roosh acknowledges the greatness of our Father and his son Jesus.It really is beautiful.I’m proud of him and so happy for him.I’ll end by saying I never got much from the pickup stuff,it was his wisdom on the Synagogue of Satan and all that it touches in our world that enlightened me,it made me realize why things are going so haywire in this world.

someguy
someguy
10 months ago

I’ll look forward to the next version of this post in 5 – 10 years when you acknowledge your current blind spots after realizing the pendulum swung too far in the other direction.

At the end of the day, you’re just substituting one type of radicalism for another and you have little to say that’s worth hearing on how to actually enjoy an ordinary life and live it well.