Last year I released a new edition of The Best Of Roosh: Volume 1, a compilation of 87 articles I published between 2006 and 2013, during the stretch of time I was most committed to a lifestyle of fornication. While re-editing these articles in 2019, I noticed eight blindspots, flaws, and rationalizations that allowed me to perform behaviors that were causing me great self-harm. Here they are…

1. I was frustrated and full of angst

I’m struck by how angry I was, not only at women but also at “beta males” for valuing women beyond the sexual. Where did this anger come from? Why was I was so mean during the time I was extracting the most from the world (in terms of sex and novelty)?

First, I was projecting anger outwardly as a way to relieve the guilt and meaningless of casual sex. I was participating in exceedingly shallow behavior that had no moral justification, so my attacks against others were a way to relieve my own condemnation. The more shallow my actions, the more I had to step up my attacks against those around me.

Second, I simply wasn’t receiving joy from my efforts, regardless of the quantity or quality of women I was sleeping with. My ego was being rewarded, and I was also earning money from the sex guides I was writing, which allowed me to continue funding my worldwide fornication efforts, but none of it was leading to contentment. It was not even leading to short-term contentment because I was adapting to casual sex as time went on. The first time you try coffee, you feel a noticeable energy boost, but if you drink coffee daily, you long ago stopped feeling the kick, and instead drink it to avoid a negative (fatigue). I was engaging in casual sex simply to avoid a negative, of feeling like a “loser” or experiencing pleasure withdrawal, instead of gaining a positive.

2. I wanted more than my fair share

When someone is born, God ensures that they receive as much food, shelter, and material comfort as necessary for their salvation, as long as they follow His rules. I didn’t know about His rules nor did I care to find out. Instead, I wanted to throw away the generous plate of food set before me at the dinner table for the plates of other men. I wanted their notch counts and caliber of women, their travel experiences, their fame, and their passive internet income, and then when I got all of that, I thought I would be able to see myself as a superior man, when in actuality my “gains” were losses. When I did make it in the material sense, I saw myself as some kind of lion, the king of the jungle, when I was just one of numerous hyena chewing on a leftover corpse.

I was also extractive. I wanted to remove value from the world at the same time I attacked others for being extractive themselves. I would try to use a woman’s body for sex and then whine like a baby if she used me for a $10 cocktail. I would erupt in anger if a woman dared to have a 30-minute conversation with me when she didn’t have any intention of giving sex. I now sit at the dinner table and bless the food that is intended for me. I do not look at what is on the plates of other men.

3. I made a false idol out of the vagina

The vagina was my god. I uprooted myself from my family, traveled around the world, and shaped my inner being to access as much of it as I could, all to feel its pleasure and validation. I am embarrassed to admit how many thousands of hours I wasted pursuing the female flesh, with barely any consideration of the human attached to it. One only needs to look at a listing of the books I unpublished to see how heavily I worshipped the vagina.

Ironically, I thought I was a master of the vagina. Through my game, I believed that I was a modern hypnotist, a keymaster of the flesh. Instead, I was its slave. I toiled ceaselessly for a few minutes of genital rubbing, and since that was hardly commensurate to the effort I was expending, I became a fornication guru to sweeten the deal. All that wasted time, lost forever.

I would receive a lot of comments during this time that said I was a “pussy beggar” or “desperate.” While many of these comments were uttered in ill will, there was some truth to them. I didn’t beg with my hand out, but I begged through my dedication of time and mental energy.

4. I thought fornication was “evolutionary”

No matter how immoral your behavior is, you still need to find a justification so you can look at the mirror and see yourself as a “good” person. Therefore, you must lie to yourself. I rationalized that my grotesque behavior was actually evolutionary because I intended to spread my seed far and wide and impregnate countless women. There was only one problem with that justification: I wasn’t impregnating any women.

There are men who have only slept with one woman, and have created a big family with her. I have slept with countless more, and have impregnated none. Even if the theory of evolution to create new species was the truth, which it is not, I still failed. Instead, I ejaculated into latex condoms and sterile women on birth control, and I remember at least two women who took the morning-after pill after having sex with me. Paradoxically, when you are fornicating with bad women, the last thing you wish for is impregnation, and I’ve lost count how many friends came to me in a panic that they may have done so.

Even if a man is impregnating multiple women, how will he raise all those children? It’s clear he won’t, and because those children do not have a father in the home, they will end up as criminals, sodomites, or drug addicts of the future. They will participate in the same kind of immoral behavior that their absent father did with the mother.

5. I thought fornication was the end-all-be-all of male existence

Whatever you lacked in boyhood or early adolescence will become your idol later in life. If you grew up poor, you go on to cherish money. If you were a late bloomer like me who received practically no sexual attention as a teenager, you go on to cherish sex. In my case, I thought there could be no higher achievement or experience than sex, and that it was an even greater good than love. Once I clearly felt the downsides from my pursuit of sex, and it took my entire adult life for that to happen, the spell was lifted and I came to see sex with a woman I didn’t care for as a step below masturbation because of the drama it inevitably caused.

It turns out that pursuing sex so vigorously was actually the source of my problems instead of the solution. My anger, frustration, malaise, and existential dread bloomed from my sexual activities. Those problems are now almost entirely gone. It tends to be the case that the behavior we think will solve our problems actually creates more problems.

6. I thought I was right

I was so sure of my conclusions. There was little doubt that fornication was the correct path, and anyone who disagreed with me was either jealous, sleeping with ugly girls, or deeply misguided. People who said that my behavior was immoral or sinful wished that they could sleep with European babes like me. The men who were stuck in their boring hometowns were not strong enough to uproot themselves, travel the world, and learn foreign languages like me.

How could I have been so certain of behaviors that I now see as wrong? Because I ignored the teachings of holy men before me, I ignored my conscience, and I believed the lies and deceptions that entered my mind.

The fact that I was so wrong, when I was certain I was right, has made it impossible to trust myself today. If the behavior I’m about to embark on does not glorify God, either directly or indirectly, or is not clearly His will, there’s a chance it’s part of Satan’s plan to corrupt me and those around me.

7. I thought that things in the physical world could make me happy

I believed that I could be a happier person from accumulating material. More sex, more money, more fame, and more status would elevate my base level of happiness, but that didn’t happen. Because my lifestyle was the disease, the opposite occurred. More bangs meant more feelings of meaninglessness. More money meant more anxiety from losing it, or anxiety from not using it in a way that increased my stature. More fame and status meant more fear of losing my level of popularity, attention, or worldly respect.

I can’t stress how every attempt to solve a life problem had the opposite intended effect, and from all that materialistic chasing, the only two things that have made life worth living in the present is the love of my family and my relationship with God. Anything else I’ve pursued was an empty distraction.

8. I listened to hip-hop music to help me get in the sex mood

In my older writing, I used a lot of slang that is more commonly used in urban America. I had listened to hip hop music and came to believe in the message that sex and money were the most logical goals for a man to pursue. In fact, to get me pumped up for a night of pursuing fornication, I would listen to hip hop songs such as this one:

The purpose of this song is to glorify sin, and I find it difficult to watch today because of the nonstop Satanic imagery. I eventually moved on to music with a more broody style from the likes of The Weeknd, which valued women, drugs, and fame above all else. I now see hip hop music as a means to convince men that having no self-control over their lust is somehow masculine.


Last year I was hesitant to put out a new edition of The Best Of Roosh: Volume 1 because of how vulgar it was, but I had gotten so used to ignoring my conscience that I proceeded. I should have listened to it, because six months later I ended up unpublishing the book anyway. I no longer recognize the man who wrote all those words. Nonetheless of what I’ve done in the past, it served a purpose to get me to the present, and for that I am grateful.

Read Next: Casual Sex Creates Guilt


  1. Dan January 20, 2020 at 10:54 am

    “I’m on that good kush and alcohol.

    I got some down bitches I can call.”

    I am amazed you liked this song lol.

    1. Roosh January 20, 2020 at 1:29 pm


    2. Jay January 20, 2020 at 1:37 pm

      Lol I used to adore Lil Wayne and rappers in general until I started watching their interviews and documentaries about their lives and realized how stupid and childish they are. I mean, look at Wayne right now, guy looks like a shadow of his former self. I can’t respect a drug addict who can barely speak one coherent sentence. It’s funny that our society glorifies the most stupid people.

      1. Anton January 27, 2020 at 9:58 pm

        Like Joe Biden??

  2. kevin January 20, 2020 at 10:59 am

    The Buddha mentions that without morality, there is no concentration. In other words, one cannot fully meditate until they thoroughly feel a lack of remorse within themselves.

    The reason why we suffer is due to our own inability to see this. We would rather go day after day, trying to pursue fleeting experiences, such as sex, not seeing the kinds of effects that this can have on our conscience.

    But, I believe that a truly capable man, one who has no need for external things, one who has no need for external validation, is a man who relies on faith. I think that you are heading in the right direction Roosh, and I think that you will come to find great joy and contentment.

    1. MARCOS E P DUTRA January 21, 2020 at 6:01 am

      One can only feel remorse if one believes in sin, which Buddhists don’t. Since man sins all the time, lack of remorse is only self righteous illusion.
      The only thing that can overcome sin is forgiveness. Meditation, which is mental masturbation, will not do that. You need Jesus and his work of sacrifice at the cross.

  3. Jason January 20, 2020 at 12:36 pm

    That is the first time I heard that horrible rap song. It’s not even musical or talent-seeking. All flash and dirty cash.

    1. Jay January 20, 2020 at 1:40 pm

      What kind of music do you listen to? Just curious.

  4. awaken January 20, 2020 at 12:50 pm

    I just finished your Life Speech it is simply great. I have all your books and find them useful and entertaining but i can also appreciate that there must be more meaning to life than just sex, drugs, and money. What i have found to be true is that everyone must search for a true life true happiness. We are not meant to work all day…eat…sleep…repeat. You must live open your eyes to what is around you appreciate it and soak it in for we are here a short time.

    1. Wolf January 27, 2020 at 1:06 pm

      Because of Roosh previous books, I too have become very good in pursuing women. Yet at the same time, after having those experiences, I came to realise that sex wasn”™t everything.

      Similarly, never let anyone tell you that money is not everything. Money is everything until you have gained tons of it or it really affects you, then trust on your instincts that money indeed isn”™t everything.

      One must always reach the peak for oneself to understand life based on his or her own experiences. Sometimes, a teacher is only there to guide us. We would still have to take that path in order for realisation to occur

  5. Jay January 20, 2020 at 1:51 pm

    One of the things that opened my eyes to the realities of casual sex is when I realized the same women I was boasting about sleeping with, were also sleeping with other men who had good game or money. It suddenly hit me that I wasn’t special and whatever ego gratification I was feeling was nothing but an illusion. The same girl laughing at my stupid jokes, moaning loudly in my bed, cuddling with me after sex and making me feel special; is gonna do the same thing with the next guy who can spit good game or spoil her with money. That realization humbled me.

    1. pornodio January 25, 2020 at 5:54 am

      Yes, this hit me too and it honestly make you realize how narcissistic you are inside.
      I also noticed it in other guys who are clueless about it and think they are the only attractive men but then when they see those same women giving attention to someone else in that room you can see them dying a little inside

      1. Jay January 25, 2020 at 8:58 am

        Yes, most men also think attractive women are unique and more principled than average looking girls (I did). So, if she’s sleeping with you then you must be special. In my experience, women are just women. Their behaviour changes according to their environment. If your HB9 unicorn is exposed to an environment with drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, other hot women, loud music etc, she will sleep with whoever can put in enough effort that night. They don’t even need to be attractive or rich. She might even try an orgy for the first time out of sheer excitement. I have seen it happen! It’s one thing to read about this stuff but when you see it happening in real life, it changes you completely.

      2. pornodio January 26, 2020 at 12:44 pm

        Nah, this is butthurt talk, it honestly happens only if there is some guy who they really admire, are in love with, and trust completely, and who brings them to see this or that side of reality, otherwise they stick to their principles most of the time. Stop with this awalt redpill incel bullshit.

  6. Jay January 20, 2020 at 2:10 pm

    Roosh I don’t know if you experienced this but one other thing that made get really sick of casual sex is dealing with horrible personalities and shitty attitudes from women. Of all the women I have slept with; a majority were arrogant, annoying and really shallow. It reached a point where I would get PTSD when I thought of cold-approaching a girl. I got sick of it. I have had several instances where girls I had slept with would gaslight me for no reason and I remember thinking, ‘it ain’t worth it.’ With time, all that horrible attitude and personality takes an emotional toil on a person. It made me to start craving for a God fearing and submissive woman. I would rather be with one pleasant girl than persue casual sex with multiple terrible women.

  7. Jay January 20, 2020 at 2:14 pm

    Some of us wake up and realize that the only thing the world has to offer is pig fodder; we cannot find satisfaction; we lose hope of finding satisfaction with anything the world offers; WE HAVE HAD A LIFE-SHATTERING EXPERIENCE, and so we turn to God. Then, long before we have arrived in His presence, He meets us still immersed in our sins, still far into the world; and though we are totally undeserving of His favor, by grace He gives to us from His treasures of wisdom ,* long before we have reached home. We are all Prodigal Sons !

  8. Jay January 20, 2020 at 2:38 pm

    Lust is an illusion because we think we will be happy if we have this one more thing, this one more woman, this one more pleasure; yet after we get it, we quickly form a lust for more, or newer, or different.

  9. Caleb Roy January 20, 2020 at 3:23 pm

    Wow, one thing you can”™t deny is the Satanic imagery in that song. I mean it”™s right there. Blood in a bath. Fornication. Lil Wayne literally becomes the Devil. Snake/Serpent women. Wayne”™s eyes rolling into the back of his head. It reminds me of this… If there is Evil in this world, it also means there is God. And if there is God, then there will be Judgment.

    1. John January 22, 2020 at 8:37 am

      The ENTIRE mainstream entertainment industry is FULL of satanic imagery:

      Music. Hollywood. Art. All of them, no exceptions.

  10. ____ January 20, 2020 at 5:14 pm

    Good reflective article overall – only take issue w/ #8 “I listened to African-American music to help me get in the sex mood”…

    When I think of Black American music I think of jazz, funk, r&b, gospel/spirituals…maybe super early rap all before the “music industry” got involved. The vast majority of the modern filth that Black(ish) folks are the face of is propped up and supported by a certain tribe that you know very well….look behind the curtain.

    btw- never heard that “song” in my life….and mad that I wasted the few seconds skipping through it that I did. Ha, can sort of understand why ya’ll are always pissed off at black folks if your only exposure is limited to that excrement.

    1. Roosh January 20, 2020 at 5:30 pm

      Good point. I was thinking of “hip hop” when I wrote that line. I updated the article to be more precise. I don’t mind gospel music myself.

  11. anon165 January 20, 2020 at 6:40 pm

    Point #3 (I made a false idol out of the vagina) is a good point. Letting lust lead your life, regardless of how “dominant” your sexual fantasies may be, is an act of submission. There are two principal forces inside our beings: the first is consciousness/will, which represents the masculine attributes of stability and lucid thought. The second is sexual energy, which represents the feminine attributes of chaos, restlessness, and creation. If sexual energy controls your life, you are effectively submitting your masculine will to lust.

    Just as men must conquer women, each individual man must also conquer the feminine energy inside of himself. Lust unconquered is like a nagging wife that is constantly pestering you and pushing you down paths that you don”™t really want to take. A woman is at her greatest when she is completely devoted to a man, likewise our sexual energy is most complementary when it is devoted to the welfare and well-being of our own consciousness and will.

  12. The One January 20, 2020 at 6:53 pm

    The sin of pride is the root of all other sins.

    All of what you described above, in my opinion, is pride, pride, pride.

    “Damn you God, I’m not going to do what you tell me to do”. It’s like a child refusing to go to bed when mommy tells him too.

    And oh man don’t we all fall into that pit.

  13. TexMexBBQ January 20, 2020 at 8:46 pm

    Roosh your trials and tribulations read like Ecclesiastes Chapter 1 and especially the beginning of Chapter 2, which eventually leads up to this: “A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? 26 To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”

    Other good scriptures include: Ecclesiastes 3 “22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?”….. and Ecclesiastes 9 “7 Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do. 8 Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. 9 Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun””all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. 10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.”

    The problem is this mysterious process of pleasing God (vs man), and a desire to be as independent as possible and free from the control and manipulations of man (and woman) as much as possible. At any rate, the importance of pleasing God, enjoying one’s work and and eventually figuring out how to enjoy life with a wife seem to be some of the biggest points here.

    1. Roosh January 20, 2020 at 9:18 pm

      Fair points but we have to be careful about putting too much weight on Old Testament writing. The New Testatment supercedes it, and makes things clear that we are not meant to “enjoy” this life in the drink and be merry sense but to bear our cross.

      1. Jay January 21, 2020 at 3:08 am

        Solomon is writing in grief because his life has become a failure; he turned away from God, to follow the gods of his foreign wives. God then told him his kingdom would be taken from his son, except for one tribe of Israel that would stay with Jerusalem, the kingdom of Judah; the other tribes would be split into the separate Kingdom of Israel . When the Lord asked the young King Solomon what was his wish, Solomon replied, “wisdom;” and so he received more wisdom than any other recorded man . However, in the end, all that wisdom failed. Why? Because he ignored the law of God, which law forbade him to worship idols, and which law ordered men not to collect silver, gold, and wives. Despite Solomon’s great wisdom, he did not walk with God; he did not follow the Voice of the Lord; he rested on the laurels of his father, David, who did walk with God and listen for and then obey His voice. And so in the end, after Solomon was the greatest king (in riches and honor) in the world in his time , he was a failure. He had a massive measure of one of the seven-fold spirits of God, wisdom; but he had major deficiencies in 1) the love of God, and 2) the reverential and obedient fear and awe of God.

      2. M-Brazil January 21, 2020 at 6:30 am

        Actually it’s both. We carry our crosses but also enjoy the blessings that God richly provides for us to enjoy (1 Tim 6:17). The point is to welcome and accept both situations, accepting God’s sovereignty upon our lives in good and bad times. Christians are not masochists, and self flagellation is a known danger that leads to self righteousness and pride. Remember that God is good, and his burden is light.

      3. Vespasian January 21, 2020 at 1:08 pm

        Roosh, by all respect, the New Testament does not supercede the Old Testament. Both are history and done; the moral lessons are, in their core, the same. If we look at it from that angle, both are the same. The New Testament decrypts and reveals the Old Testament. Before the Levite priesthood and Mosaic Law, there was the Highpriest of the Most High, Melchidezek, and even Abraham gave him a tithe of his own goods; Abraham had no Law, yet he knew what he needed to do. “An eye for an eye” is the same as “do unto others as you want them to do unto you”; “love your neighbor as yourself” is part of the Mosaic Law and Jesus is quoting it. We should be merry and enjoy what God has given unto us. As M-Brazil said before, we are not supposed to be masochists.

        We have to carry our cross, our burdens, sins of our fathers, but that does not mean to burden others, especially yourself.

      4. Steve kelly January 24, 2020 at 8:56 am

        To the Jewish people, whom God first chose to hear his Word, ‘belong the sonship, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the worship and the promises; to them belong the patriarchs, and of their race, according to the flesh, is the Christ.’

  14. David January 20, 2020 at 10:01 pm

    “I”™m struck by how angry I was, not only at women but also at “beta males” for valuing women beyond the sexual.”

    Beta males still anger me, and so do promiscuous women. Every relationship in the city is transient and sterile, you witness people wasting their time, and trying to waste yours, it absolutely should anger you.

    One has to remind oneself to love Christ above all else, that’s the good of living around sin – it strengthens the faith, and you get to see God tangibly.

  15. Herpderp January 20, 2020 at 10:18 pm

    Roosh, you focused on short term game and ignored relationship game in your player’s journey, so of course you were ripe for a St. Augustine like transformation.

    Obviously there’s nothing to be gained from the opinions and advice that members of your audience who adopted similar ideals after a long marriage and annoying surprise divorce might have for you.

    Starting over from scratch income wise after abandoning an 18 year long brand that you developed at great personal and financial cost will be hard but probably doable for someone with your work ethic. Attracting a peak fertility ‘trad’ girl in the USA will not be easy if your finances are in disarray, she will want to be assured of support with somethig other than faith, and your ‘reformed cad’ brand will make any truly ‘trad’ potential wife’s father (whose opinion matters to her, see, ‘trad’) nervous.

    Logical next steps for you are to publicly enter a relationship with a prominent former feminist (probably a year or three younger, or maybe older than you if you’re less lucky), possibly even someone who has written about you before, and after a short time in private life, you two will start some kind of church.

    Fifteen years down the road, when you’re feeling like a fraud running a congregation filled with gullible idiots, raising an ungrateful (and possibly disabled) kid, and living with a wife hitting menopause with the associated personality changes; you may dust off your old books and wonder ‘was I fucking high when I decided to walk away from all of this?’

    1. Roosh January 21, 2020 at 2:44 pm

      Wrong, I pursued relationships, but if your foundation for a relationship is game, you’ll fail.

      1. spg January 27, 2020 at 3:18 pm

        Man, you are so awake now. I have been saying this forever. Game is manipulation and not godly courtship.

  16. MCG00 January 21, 2020 at 1:15 am

    Roosh, it’s unique that you equate casual sex with sluts to drug addiction. It’s unique for you with your legacy that is, but many men have followed the same footsteps and have paid dearly for consorting with or worse committing to or even marrying sluts and whores. Many men sitting in jail cells are there because they did some whore’s bidding. They got used by a whore, be it their gf, wife or whatever the case. That’s why it’s so so important to exercise hard and strict patriarchy on a virgin spouse. If society ever had to be rebuilt from the ground up, it would commence at the cellular level, with the nuclei being the patriarchal tribal family clan. This the only structure that can emerge with buoyancy from the primordial sludge.

    So there’s an AA, an NA and a gambler’s anonymous for the folks whose lives have crashed due to addiction. There seems to be no PHA or pussy hounds anonymous though. But then again that may be the monastery. There’s no fixing civilization with whores. And mongering after whores begets more whores. The rebuild starts with CLEAN BOOTY simple, and the will and grace to hold righteous dominion over the females of our great species.

    On a side note Roosh, be fortunate you pursued microbiology and not pharmacology. Pharmacists you know are nothing more than glorified dope dealers with nice lab coats and name tags. Other than that, they’re no different than a street pusher or even the rest of the deep state supply chain that currently carpet bombs our nation with opiates. In fact an establishment pharmacist likely distributes more opiates in a day than a street dealer. They all do their share spreading sickness. And pharmacists think they have a pill for everything. They self medicate like they think it’s their obligatory privilege. They’re some of the biggest addicts. I once knew a pharma major who then became a surgeon. He fiended so bad for dope that he staged a burglary at his hospital pharmacy to get his fix of oxy. He ended up wïth an ankle bracelet and still allowed to work at the hosp on work release because he was a surgeon. Otherwise he’d be getting @ss raped in the state pen if he was a common civilian who got convicted for dope.

    Me, I’ve never pumped and dumped a strange woman. My wifve though I’ll admit, I pump and then dump her every time I have something else to get busy doing like work or hobbies. And she’s there when I get back. I’m very possessive and if my d¡ck goes in a woman – SHE’S MINE – and thereinafter I wrack my brain and think “how can she now be shaped so as to better fit into and cojingually function in my clan?”. It’s all about the clan. Life is about the family clan. The patriarchal tribal family clan.

  17. Kaze January 21, 2020 at 3:27 am

    Roosh I know you’ve studied Buddhism, but what about Gnostism in Christianity or Meister Eckharts sermons?

    1. Roosh January 21, 2020 at 2:43 pm

      No, those are false roads.

  18. ThriceGreat January 21, 2020 at 5:12 am

    Roosh, I’ve been following you since I was a Junior in highschool, which was during 2013-2014.

    Everything you wrote, in regards to personal defects, is all too true for my reality as well. In my childhood and adolescence, I experienced the same tragedies as everyone else who was raised in a broken home. My dad loved being promiscuous with women, and out of his promiscuous activities, that’s how I was born. When I was 15, my dad told me the female I knew as a “mother”, was actually a person I wasn’t blood-related with. My dad had sex with a different woman inside of a different town. From my dad’s description, she was a drug abuser, a whore and suffered from delirium tandems/psychosis. It turns out that my biological mother didn’t want me, she actually wanted to abort me, since I was created out of wetlock. My father and biological mother agreed to place me up for adoption when I was born, and two older college professors were going to adopt me as soon as I was born.

    At the last second, my father and step mother decided to keep me. I was surprised that this woman, who I had association with, wanted to adopt me, especially since I was created out of wetlock, from the woman my dad cheated on the side, out of my step-mother’s awareness. Unfortunately, my dad kept on engaging into hedonistic acts with my step-mother, which ultimately ended up with my parents divorcing about a half-decade ago.

    I had a hard-time growing up as a kid, it always felt like my step-mother had resentment towards me, due to my dad’s actions. Unfortunately, my aunt told me that my step-mother only kept me so my father wouldn’t leave her, that didn’t work out too well for her, since he kept on doing the same garbage.

    I was the kid who grew up as an observer of the outside world, I isolated myself from the world with video games, masturbation and pornography. My parents never encouraged me to learn life developing moralism and skills. I got bullied relentlessly as a kid, which caused me to have crushing low self-esteem and misanthropy towards life.

    When I got older, I started engaging into more reckless activities, with the most damaging being recreational drug abuse. I lost my greatest paying job last year, due to experiencing psychosis from using a therapeutic of Desoxyn (Methamphetamine). A year later, it has been a difficult recovery of trying to get the wheel back onto the apple cart. I don’t have a reported record of drug use or a criminal record, nonetheless; it’s been difficult to find another well paying job that was equivalent to the one that I had before I lost it from drug use and health issues.

    As the months churned on, I started becoming more interested in the faith I once had, which was Christianity. The only sense I had of faith was from Nondenominational Christianity. And to me, this aspect of faith was equivalent to 1%/2% milk, which was watered down from the crucial nutrients of whole milk.

    I’ve started to incorporate more Eastern Orthodox Christianity into my life and I’m deeply interested in attending an Akathist at one of my local Eastern Orthodox church, but I’m struggling with that aspect because I believe in a very Unorthodox way of Christianity and incorporate a perennialism school of thought, with a heavy emphasis on Hermeticism. But when I observe the common principles of Hermeticism, Neoplatonism and Eastern Orthodox Christianity, they all preach in reverence to the heavenly father, who is the creation of all things. Do you have any recommendations with this difficulty I’m having?

    Aside from this, I hold you with a great sense of respect and admiration for you Roosh. I’m glad you’ve learned from your past and found a significant aspect of faith in your life.

    “A little philosophy inclineth man’s mind to atheism; but depth in philosophy bringeth men’s minds about to religion.”
    ”• Manly P. Hall

    1. Roosh January 21, 2020 at 2:43 pm

      God bless, I hope my future work will aid in your walk with Christ.

    2. Boulders February 19, 2020 at 2:59 pm

      Manly p hall is an occultist

      If you wish to walk with christ you will seek your knowledge and wisdom from the bible and not from fallen men.

  19. Smile January 21, 2020 at 5:47 am

    Hej Roosh,
    I recommend you make peace with your past self. You didn´t know any better and that´s OK. You wanted girls, money, fame and outcompete some dudes, i think that´s absolutly OK. You learned that life is not about such superficial hedonistic pleasures and you´re a deeper man now. Failure is the best way to learn. Sure it´s kind of stupid and not mature when someone thinks he has to have sex with 50 or more women to feel like a real man, but many men these days are this kind of stupid. Be grateful you learned and have seen some light now. Sure it feels great to be the player king and to be seen with some hot chick in your arm regulary, but it comes from a place of neediness. The neediness to be validated by other people. PUA is needy as fuck – it´s all about being seen and validated by women and mabye even more by other men. In the end nobody of real value and deepnees care about a mans PUA success, instead they see right through the bullshit and unmask the needy little boy in his unfitting superhero dress ! Good luck with the life lessons which will follow now. This comes from the german man you met at Hola Hola and had a pizza with a day later at Eatalia (including some other gentlemen from all over the world) on the weekend you proudly published Game in September 2018.

  20. john January 21, 2020 at 5:58 am

    Not everyone has a full plate of food, you didnt either, at first. So you were right to be angry. If you had of stopped after you had your ‘full plate of food’ Theorectically you would have been happy? But you would still have to compete to get to that stage, which you did. Just took it to far.

    1. KermitTheeFrog777 January 21, 2020 at 6:07 pm

      Agreed. I lived the church life 100% for 2 decades before coming to game out of desperation. I went too far on occasion but tried to use common sense. It had a cost but it was better than necking myself.

      Hindsight is 20/20. The only true guilt should come from not listening to your gut / higher conscience, and from not taking risks. I feel Roosh is on the right path but is more extreme than most, and simply didnt listen to his better judgement as soon as he could have.

      Lots of dudes out here who have been helped immeasurably from game, and were able to extract the positive lessons for themselves.

  21. mariusz January 21, 2020 at 7:53 am

    I agree with you that pursuing sex can’t be a worthy lifetime goal. However, remember that you also did good in your path: probably a great majority of girls you had sex with also had what they wanted, and were as well physically pleased. Sex is a pleasurable act to do and women like it too. Or are you going to advocate for celibacy?

    I respect you exploring your spiritual side and reflecting on your mistakes. Just don’t go too hard on yourself, it is not completely fair.

    1. Roosh January 21, 2020 at 2:42 pm

      “Or are you going to advocate for celibacy?”


      1. InconvenientTruthHurts January 21, 2020 at 6:30 pm

        Celibacy?? Man you’re brain is so f****ed… you are 40, you should already have found a nice woman and have small children, but you are not ready for it, maybe you never will.

  22. AutomaticSlim January 21, 2020 at 8:09 am

    This is all well and good for Roosh.
    To each his own.
    But I won’t be giving up hookers and booze just yet…

  23. Jim Johnson January 21, 2020 at 9:00 am

    Jesus is right about women.

  24. Vespasian January 21, 2020 at 1:27 pm

    What is your counter-solution to gaming women? Since you regret your past deeds, you must have thought of an alternative way of having done things in your past. What would you advise a clueless man how to game women the proper way? Thing is, be it the world or churches, there are eternal truths in game. If one would abandon the principles of game altogether, he would never attract any women. Most women in the West respond to clown game; it is as good as impossible to practice halal game. Unless you find an ultra traditional/conservative enclave somewhere, there is no way courtship is going to work out.

    1. KermitTheeFrog777 January 21, 2020 at 6:13 pm

      I love Roosh dearly and know he will realize this eventually, spending his time in church. Hopefully he finds balance soon. I believe we are right to return to the church, but reform it according to both good conscious and real knowledge of human nature. Young boys need playful, friendly game skills centered on self-assuredness and lack of neediness. After 2 decades being a leader of the church I felt I had to spend another decade outside of it to feel confident and secure in who I was. Sad but true.

      1. Vespasian January 22, 2020 at 1:53 am

        Roosh reminds me of myself when God brought me back to the Faith two years ago. I also went overboard with it, but as time went on, I became more balanced. His writing style reveals that he tries too hard, is too hard on himself; such a change of heart won’t come that quickly. It will take time.

        Yeah, church doesn’t prepare you for the outside world when you grow up in it. It is an isolating experience to a degree, living in a parallel society, and, even though you can see the other side, you can’t go over to their side, like a glass wall stands between you two. I visited many churches over the past two years and it is always the same. There is no strength, no backbone, no masculinity. Fear from the unknown is all they know.

      2. ChristiansakatheRealchosenpeople January 22, 2020 at 5:14 pm

        I don’t see him going overboard at all.Loving the Lord and being proud of it is never wrong in any way.He’s not unbalanced,he’s telling us his story.Its like the great song Why me Lord by Kris Kristofferson,anytime youre sharing your love of the Lord and the Master Jesus its a beautiful thing and touches you and those you tell.I know I’m extremely moved each and every time Roosh acknowledges the greatness of our Father and his son Jesus.It really is beautiful.I’m proud of him and so happy for him.I’ll end by saying I never got much from the pickup stuff,it was his wisdom on the Synagogue of Satan and all that it touches in our world that enlightened me,it made me realize why things are going so haywire in this world.

  25. someguy January 21, 2020 at 3:10 pm

    I’ll look forward to the next version of this post in 5 – 10 years when you acknowledge your current blind spots after realizing the pendulum swung too far in the other direction.

    At the end of the day, you’re just substituting one type of radicalism for another and you have little to say that’s worth hearing on how to actually enjoy an ordinary life and live it well.

  26. malaya January 22, 2020 at 2:32 am

    Roosh, I truly believe you that are doing the right thing. As a female, while Your old writings did shock and scare me, the evil you promoted in the past served a good purpose. It caused me to closely examine and analyze the actions and intentions of the men I interacted with and helped me avoid getting further involved with the wrong ones.
    Perhaps withdrawing from the internet for a while and earning money in a mediocre way will help you forget this internet reputation you’ve created, this false self and humble your soul enough to make it ready to attract what it has truly been yearning for this whole time.

    1. Jay January 22, 2020 at 2:58 am

      I disagree. We need him. We want to be part of every step in his journey, even parts we don’t agree with. Worrying about his reputation now won’t achieve anything. Besides, there are far more evil men in the world, Roosh doesn’t even come close. If Roosh is a rapist as the media wants us to believe then there would be a dozen women coming forward to accuse him of rape. The same media promotes the most evil which continues to destroy society.

      1. malaya January 24, 2020 at 12:15 am

        Oh no, I agree with you, hence why I mentioned that his writing in the past that he condemns today actually helped me. I never believed Roosh was a rapist. I’m obviously a fan of his writings, get much value from them, whether I agree or not, that’s why I still follow him today.

        But you miss my point here. Isnt it kind of selfish as a fan to insist that the world needs him to continue on a crusade helping others, when his internet career could be the very thing pulling him from what was meant to be his real life? His personal life? You know what would probably be way more fulfilling than helping strangers on the internet with women (or men for female readers)? Using that same wisdom to help your own teen son or daughter from their first broken heart (who likely won’t take the advice readily the way a stranger would haha ) If the internet fame kept him from that outcome, well, honestly, as much as I get intellectual enjoyment and entertainment from his work, I’d rather that the man have happiness. Roosh himself lamented how these endeavors kept his focus from truly cherishing what brought him genuine happiness, his family, his sister’s passing being a personal wake up call for him. Let the guy be happy living a normal life. Maybe with him doing some writing on the side.

      2. malaya January 24, 2020 at 12:34 am

        I wanted to add more thought….. the journey that Roosh is going through, is one that many a man goes through in private. They live that player lifestyle, then they realize at some point— some sooner some later— that it actually sucks. Then they reunite with God and settle down. I do believe that exposing yourself on the internet can potentially hurt the progression of the journey, because it’s not just between you and now God —- its between God, you, and your viewers. We dont need to be apart of Roosh’s journey every step of the way. It’s his life, not ours.

  27. noob January 22, 2020 at 10:50 am

    right on

  28. mrteebs January 23, 2020 at 5:09 pm

    Human beings were not designed to bond with dozens / hundreds of partners. For all of Solomon’s wisdom, it was undone by his many wives and concubines. See 1 Kings 11:1-13.

    The exact same things that make a high notch-count undesirable in a prospective wife also apply to men: alpha widows, constant comparisons, inabilities to bond, etc. You essentially reverse-mortgage your future and wake up to find you no longer own your home, but with years still on the clock.

    Can it be forgiven? Yes. Does God automatically erase your cerebral hard drive and the associated programming? Let’s just say there are artifacts that make it far harder for the processor to do its job than when dealing with pristine memory.

  29. pornodio January 25, 2020 at 5:53 am

    I don’t know wtf has happened to you, roosh, but you used to be such a cool guy when you were traveling and banging women. Old age is truly shit.

  30. Nobody January 26, 2020 at 2:20 pm

    I spent a season of my life really trying to learn and apply Christianity. Blah blah blah waiting for God to blah et cetera. It comes down to this:

    The injustice and suffering in the world is tremendous and daily cries out for reckoning. It”™s probably too much for humanity to make right, and it is certainly forever out of our reach to do so because man is so selfishly pitted against his fellow man.

    Which then begs the question, this is a simple logic tree,

    1. Is the Lord there?
    2. If so, is he able to help?
    3. If so, why doesn”™t he help?

    And the result is, either

    1. The Lord is not there
    2. The Lord is not all powerful
    3. The Lord chooses not to help

    If it is 1 or 2, then faith is a wasted effort. If it is 3, then the Lord is a sadist, for there are innumerable examples of children, babies, animals who did nothing to deserve there suffering yet they were specifically created by him ex nihilo just to suffer.

    Dwell on that long enough and some pleasure followed by an eternity of nothing doesn”™t seem so bad. Take up a cross for what? I get it, maybe I deserve to suffer, but I didn”™t ask to be created; I”™d just as soon never have been born. I was dragged into this against my will, as has innumerable other sentient creatures, made to toil, made to suffer in this show, for what? You can keep it.

    You say, maybe it”™s not an eternity of nothing, it”™s an eternity of Hell for me. This only further proves that God is a sadist, creating beings out of nothing for the purpose to suffer, then condemning them to eternal suffering when they don”™t grin through the first course.

  31. Gennaro Gallo January 27, 2020 at 12:47 pm

    Have you ever been to a good therapist?

  32. spg January 27, 2020 at 3:16 pm

    Do you remember your interview with Jesse Lee Peterson who told you that you have anger in your heart which was the cause of your ways? I am positively surprised but yet glad that you confirmed his assessment. Angry men are weak, illogical and irrational (in a spiritual and worldly way), emotional, feminine, betas, and Satan is their father, which is why they do all this evil. Angry women are equally evil.

    Hope this article goes far. The entire PUA-esque type sphere is a hotbed of deception and lies that will bring you down spiritually, and it needs exposing.

    1. Christian Cool February 18, 2020 at 2:14 pm

      PUA is not a hotbed of deceit. The strategy they developed for gaming women is very real. I know because I employed such strategies after I became single again suddenly for a time. I was hurting and sought out to hook-up with women to ease my won pain of a family loss.

      Game, PUA strategies, and even the Red Pill knowledge of life do indeed work and make you a more effective man in many aspects of your own life, including bedding women outside marriage. That is why they CAN be used

      The issue is that (and this would be clear to you if you read his posts about this) Roosh realized that much of his anger, such as towards feminists, for instance, were a result of his own behavior.

      He sought out to fornicate with women (who were likely feminists) and then he would blame them for for his own sinful behavior. It is a cycle of self-destructive behavior.

      This post by Roosh explains it all, in detail. Deep inside every human being’s heart is a sense of right and wrong. Roosh knew deep inside, despite not being raised in church, that sex outside marriage is wrong.

      When he came to the realization (“epiphany”) of his ways were in opposition to Christian principles, he changed his life. Some will say that was a radical transformations, others will simply say that Roosh was called to Christ, as he was always meant to be.

      Bottom line: Game is like fire. Under control, it is used for good such as warming oneself, cooking, molding metals, etc. Out of control, it burns down entire forests, cities, and homes.

      Understanding Game itself is not evil. Employing it recklessly to bed women outside marriage is evil.

  33. Joe January 28, 2020 at 2:49 pm

    Great read! I read about you a few years ago and thought it was a shame someone with so much drive should dedicate his time to such pointless endeavors. I’m sure you turning the corner will help many others as well. Good luck in the future, I hope you find a good woman and experience what is in my opinion the true glory of god, becoming a co-creator!

  34. Tom January 29, 2020 at 3:17 pm

    Hi Roosh, I bought your life speech and a few of your books in the past”¦ But, I love this article and think it’s one of your best works. You’re going to be even more controversial going forward. I think that’s a good thing in this crazy clown world.

  35. King Lion January 30, 2020 at 1:49 pm

    BRAVO…Well done Roosh…How can the blind see? Only when they see within their heart the kingdom of JAH.
    “He answered and said, Whether he be a sinner or no, I know not: one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see”¦” John 9:25

  36. hermit February 2, 2020 at 6:41 am

    points 3 and 5. Yes. We live in a stupid society that basically tells you that unless you have sex you are a ‘loser’. Or even that unless you have a girlfriend or married, you are still a ‘loser’. None of it is true. Or that masturbation is for ‘losers’. Stupidest shit I have heard. Just like the rest about making as much money as possible. You only need the money you need for food and shelter, you don’t need any more than that. And you definitely need no sex, women or their vaginas. You won’t die without sex. It’s just not worth all the shit you have to go through, I’d rather live like a hermit on the mountains. ‘Don’t go where everybody is going, for most people are all going in the wrong places’. – Seneca

    1. hermit February 2, 2020 at 6:45 am

      PS. as for masturbation, basically just empty your balls and you’ll be fine for the day. I do it do take women off my mind ENTIRELY, not to feed my mind with desire. Big difference. It’s like taking a shit, for me. A basic physiological need. NOTHING more than that. The whole thing about women and sex isn’t worth my time. At all.

      1. Christian Cool February 19, 2020 at 2:51 pm

        I will concede that most days, most women I meet in my area here in Central Florida are just trash. Obesity is rampant, loose broads, alcoholics/junkies… it is bad.

        Most women I meet these days are -2 to -5 points in looks from me and if I had to put any effort to go out with them, I would feel terrible about myself.

        Sometimes…. “The Juice is not worth the squeeze”, as they say.

        Masturbation for men is maintenance. It can be lust-filled if you watch porn and thus sinful in nature. But fr some guys, they just do it as a biological need, as Hermit says. That is not sinful.

        And yeah, if you fap every morning, you go out and you are calm, focused, and will not aggressively pursue women. That is a good thing and bad at the same time. It take away your motivation to find a woman you may wish to marry, someday…. if you are OK with the risks involved with marriage in the 21st Century that is.

        One word of caution: fapping too much will drain a man’s motivation, as you will mellow him out way too much and lack the energy or drive to meet new people, talk to women, and even work out. That is a fact of life, and a trade-off to control your physical desires.

        Just keep that in mind. Too much of ANYTHING can be a bad thing.

  37. Hith'ransir February 2, 2020 at 1:59 pm

    Its a very dangerous line of thinking to believe that god provides for people relative to their amount of faith. Plenty of decent people live in poverty and misery. God will absolutely let you starve to death. Is roosh some kind of christian scientist now? Should we just not go to doctors while we wait for god to heal us?

  38. Aleksi Jaakkola February 7, 2020 at 1:35 pm

    Your life experiences certainly qualify you as a great philosopher and knower of human nature.

  39. Aleksi Jaakkola February 7, 2020 at 1:37 pm

    Hip Hop is such a negro music in character. Sensual and passionate.

  40. awesome14 February 7, 2020 at 3:05 pm

    WOW! More evidence that the author is a crass, uninspired secular humanist attempting to reinvent himself to shed the stigma of “Meat Hound”! Why don’t you go all in? Just tell everyone the way to a loyal wife is: become a good Catholic, don’t run after sinful women, avoid fornication and birth control, avoid any woman who has a sexual history, don’t date exclusively until after you propose, avoid privacy with women you’re not related to, meet a girl at Holy Catholic Mass!

    I’ll tell you why you won’t. Because you thrive on whipping up perceived injustices. If you actually solved the problem, no one would need you!

  41. Borgon February 15, 2020 at 8:20 pm

    I disagree with the title of your post.
    The 6 things which you mentioned didn’t “allow” or facilitate seduction or fornication. Plenty of guys who have the six flaws or qualities or feelings that you have mentioned, yet still didn’t get laid or fornicated as much as you did.

    Rather, those 6 things are simply your beliefs or experiences during your fornicating years. And most of them are the byproduct of your fornication, rather than propelling or facilitating fornication to begin with.

  42. Beliphotensangelus February 16, 2020 at 2:31 am

    I must apologize for telling you how sad of a person you are.

    Why is that?

    You were good at game because you were young and in touch.

    You got old and became out of touch. I followed your journey as you struggled to figure out why these new breed of women are not attracted to you. You blamed it on everything but yourself.

    The act of pursuing women was no longer pleasurable so you now go to the bible instead of evolving your game and taking it to the next level.

    You failed and you have lost your way. In “the game” mastering women is just one of the things you need to do. Building a good life, good company and a legacy is also important.

    You failed all of them except one. Now you blame the game when, in fact you just lost.

    Now you”™ve taken refuge in the place where all adults who fail go for their last ounce of pride, delusion of god that has no proof of existence.

  43. Jeremy March 7, 2020 at 3:30 am

    Listen to Sevin. DATIN. BIzzle. Christian rappers

  44. Dean Williams August 24, 2020 at 10:39 pm

    Roosh, I see you have come to the transparency of self. To see and let others see the real you, you have become self actualized in a way. So sad that our society has been built on temporal, material things, with the elevation of pride, idolatry, narcissism, ego, possessions, and temporal thrills that are fleeting after mere moments of pleasure.

  45. Dweeder August 25, 2020 at 1:08 am

    Wow. It is wonderful how you have changed. What happened if you do not mind my asking? Was it a blinding light on the road to Damascus or a gradual change? No matteer what it was, you are on the right track, and I’m sure your parents are very very proud of you. I am and I’m not even your mom. LOL. My own son is 23 and he is waiting for the right girl. The problem is that I think he has very high standards of physical beauty – not that he shouldn’t, he is also very handsome, but I guess it doesn’t matter now that I’m older I see that depth of love is so much more. We have always gone to church as a family, my son and daughter and husband and I – I know my son is a virgin because he’s told me so and is not ashamed. My daughter is 19 and feels the same but I don’t know how long she’ll really last since she is more easily led. I pray for her to meet a nice young man as well. They are both good kids with lots of love to give. My daughter is in college and my son lives with us, saving money so he can buy a house. He has a lot saved already, he’s an engineer. He is a bit socially awkward and perhaps he is introspective. Do you have any advice on where to meet nice girls? He doesn’t want to go to any church mixers because he knows all the girls there and believe it or not, they are nice girls but it seems everyone has been very sexually active and he wants a girl like himself. I dunno. I’m 55 and can’t wait to be a grandmother but who knows. It’s in God’s hands, I know. God bless you for being such an influential young man for the GOOD.

  46. Jjj September 14, 2020 at 2:14 pm

    All white guys of our generation were denied positive female interactions which led us to overvalue women.
    Let”™s apply scripture as a critique of society.

  47. Adele Sunseri December 31, 2020 at 11:06 pm



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